"Too heavy" he said to me
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Congratulations! that is wonderful and thank you for your awesome comment!joshandles wrote: »I think he's a chicken *kitten* and is having second thoughts or someone else is in his scope. STAY ON TRACK. Lose weight and when he comes around, tell him you don't do shallow men. I was about 200+ lbs when I met my BF (now husband). I ballooned up to 237 over the years we were together and NOT ONCE did he ever cheat on me, or tell me I needed to lose weight. EVER! 8 yrs after we were together, we married and I was still heavy. In 2012, I had enough of being fat and me and me alone decided to lose it. Over 2 yrs, I lost 75 lbs! YOU GOT THIS! I'm still married, he's accepted me as I am. THAT is the type of guy you want. Focus on you and I guarantee, the right man will come a long. HE'S NOT IT!
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If that doesn't motivate you, what will?????
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Yes it is motivating!joshandles wrote: »If that doesn't motivate you, what will?????
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Nice pic!!!!!!0
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Errrr, so we are berating this chap because he was honest with you about his preferences and ultimately decided it was better not to string you along and not treat you as a quick lay?
I get that it hurts and yes, he might be a complete tool in reality but it's hard to know for sure. Maybe he did find you attractive and thought he could get passed the weight issue with time? From your profile pic you look pretty to me.
^^^This!! I was sitting here scratching my head reading the responses to his text. Yes, he's an *kitten* for ending it in a text and there may be more you're not sharing here. However, if I am basing my opinion solely on the text, I don't get the sense that he meant to waste your time or that he even finds you unattractive. What I think is happening is he genuinely likes you emotionally and physically, but he is afraid of what others will think since we live in a society that is not accepting of overweight people. Our society is barely accepting of people that are considered average weight because we are basing all of our ideas of beauty on supermodels. I agree that you dodged a bullet because you deserve to find someone that will be fearless and shout how much they love you from the moutaintops. This guy needs to do some soul searching and evaluate his own life. None of it has to do with you
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Lol yes I agreeHe pursued me all the way to the end, we even got tested for std's per his request he treated me like a girlfriend he would get 'excite"when i hugged him or kissed him on the cheek but no sex so very confusing! quote="newmeadow;33921253"]I love sex, he was the one not puttin out LOL! Thanks .
I guess I don't quite understand it then. He was able to agree to go out with you in the first place and also, apparently, was able to get it up for a "heavy" woman. And he was getting it up for four months with you. Plus he's fat too. Very mysterious.
Sorry I misread. No sex. Good! Phew! I like him now. He didn't use you.
He may have been a bit too honest in blurting out his personal preferences, which I think was unnecessary, but the fact that he showed you the respect of keeping his pants on was a very good thing on his part.
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It is his loss! Use his hurtful words to fuel your drive. Prove him wrong!0
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This was the tex I received from him "I really do enjoy hanging out with you and you are lots of fun. There's a lot of characteristics about you that I do like. However I'm afraid of myself. I've never dated anyone heavier than me. I'm not sure how I would handle that in the long run. That may not be fair to you. that may not be fair to you. And perhaps I'm the one with the problem.
please elaborate the exact words he told you , like "yeah you're actually too heave so no thank you? "
What he's saying is that he is too shallow and stupid to focus on the quality of interaction between the two of you because he would rather focus on superficial things such as appearances. He is letting you know that society's standard are his standards and he's not mature and intelligent enough to depart from that. You did, indeed, dodge a bullet. Keep stepping girlfriend.0 -
SimpleGirlNoche wrote: »Our society is barely accepting of people that are considered average weight because we are basing all of our ideas of beauty on supermodels.
I respectfully disagree with this if we're talking about U.S. society.
Most of us are overweight and a disproportionate percentage of us are obese. Yet chubs are socially active and making babies by the millions. Most overweight men and women in the U.S. are married or at least sexually active.
The mainstream media promotes the supermodel physical ideal with its tiresome advertising campaigns and then perpetuates the lie that most people buy into it. They don't. Looking around at all the fat families, fat friends and fat people out having fun speaks for itself.
Sorry for the slight derail. Back on track.
Yes, I totally agree that there are plenty of happy overweight or obese people. However, if the media promoting non-realistic bodies doesn't affect our society, why is losing weight always the number one New Year's resolution? I don't believe that this resolution only applies to being healthier overall, I think a good proportion of people who strive to lose weight want to achieve a certain look. And what about surgical procedures like liposuction or tummy tucks? If I'm being honest, my family is made up of overweight people. Everytime the women in my family get together we talk about what we are going to do to lose weight and it has nothing to do with being healthier. It has everything to do with how much we loathe our muffin tops or how our breasts have gotten to an unimaginable size lol. So yes, we're all overweight, joking around and happy overall but if you said we can snap our fingers and have a body like one of those Victoria Secret models none of us would say "no, I'm happy"
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After 4 months of constantly seeing each other (no sex involved).... He decided I was too heavy to have a relationship with me... Big shock since he saw what I looked like before he met me. Sooo confused?!?! We had so much in common and alway had a blast when we were together.
Quickest way to lose 12 stone? - dump that ignorant fool x0 -
Lol Thank yourugratz2015 wrote: »After 4 months of constantly seeing each other (no sex involved).... He decided I was too heavy to have a relationship with me... Big shock since he saw what I looked like before he met me. Sooo confused?!?! We had so much in common and alway had a blast when we were together.
Quickest way to lose 12 stone? - dump that ignorant fool x
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Yes! And thank you!I've been married for 14 years and my husband has seen me all shapes, actually last Monday was the first time he pointed out the only thing he doesn't know about me is my weight told him it was the only thing he'd never know about me... Not because I am worried of what he'd think just more me
Anyway you should be with someone who loves you for you no matter what
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If you like or even love someone, you do so UNCONDITIONALLY. NO excuses. NO worrying about what others will think. NO faking. NO using. NO remarks made about height, weight, race, religion, etc. Something's wrong and it's HIM. Let him GO. If he was the right one for now, we wouldn't be talking about him........0
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Amen! Thank you[ quote="joshandles;33922569"]If you like or even love someone, you do so UNCONDITIONALLY. NO excuses. NO worrying about what others will think. NO faking. NO using. NO remarks made about height, weight, race, religion, etc. Something's wrong and it's HIM. Let him GO. If he was the right one for now, we wouldn't be talking about him........[/quote]
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joshandles wrote: »If you like or even love someone, you do so UNCONDITIONALLY.
Even if they start slapping you in the face in front of all your friends for no good reason? Even if you find out they've sexually betrayed you repeatedly and given you cooties? Even if they stomp your puppy to death because it had a little accident on the carpet? Even if they start passing flatulence openly and loudly every time they take you out to a restaurant? Even if they steal all your money and spend it on strippers?
Our feelings towards others are always conditional. Love, like, dislike, whatever. Conditional. And thank goodness for it.
Ummm, whoa! We are talking about he leaving her because of her size and he's not sure he can deal with it. This is a fitness/weight/exercise board forum. Stay on topic. She never brought up any of what you are referring to. I think you're on the wrong board. Jeez.
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Judging from the text, the only thing this guy did wrong was break-up through a text. He didn't call her fat, he didn't say he never had feelings for her and he was quite open in his explanation when most guys completely shut down and can't explain why they want to end it. Yes, he is letting what other people think affect his decisions, because he is not strong enough to ignore it. Not many people are, despite what they claim. I don't think it's right to break him down to build her up if he never said anything disrespectful in the text. Yes, she is hurting right now but he might be hurting too because he just made the worst mistake of his life out of fear. I hope the both of them can find happiness.0
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Your better off. There are better men out there. You work on you. You can do it 0
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Thank you I needed that0
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Thank you ThSimpleGirlNoche wrote: »Judging from the text, the only thing this guy did wrong was break-up through a text. He didn't call her fat, he didn't say he never had feelings for her and he was quite open in his explanation when most guys completely shut down and can't explain why they want to end it. Yes, he is letting what other people think affect his decisions, because he is not strong enough to ignore it. Not many people are, despite what they claim. I don't think it's right to break him down to build her up if he never said anything disrespectful in the text. Yes, she is hurting right now but he might be hurting too because he just made the worst mistake of his life out of fear. I hope the both of them can find happiness.[0
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[Thank you quote="SimpleGirlNoche;33921643"]Errrr, so we are berating this chap because he was honest with you about his preferences and ultimately decided it was better not to string you along and not treat you as a quick lay?
I get that it hurts and yes, he might be a complete tool in reality but it's hard to know for sure. Maybe he did find you attractive and thought he could get passed the weight issue with time? From your profile pic you look pretty to me.
^^^This!! I was sitting here scratching my head reading the responses to his text. Yes, he's an *kitten* for ending it in a text and there may be more you're not sharing here. However, if I am basing my opinion solely on the text, I don't get the sense that he meant to waste your time or that he even finds you unattractive. What I think is happening is he genuinely likes you emotionally and physically, but he is afraid of what others will think since we live in a society that is not accepting of overweight people. Our society is barely accepting of people that are considered average weight because we are basing all of our ideas of beauty on supermodels. I agree that you dodged a bullet because you deserve to find someone that will be fearless and shout how much they love you from the moutaintops. This guy needs to do some soul searching and evaluate his own life. None of it has to do with you
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