Believe in Yourself.

Pink, I think it's brave of you to share that story with us. I'm sure many of us can relate in some way. Some people are simply cruel. But you've got the right attitude now. We do this for ourselves, and no one else. You should be so proud of your accomplishments! You deserve the best life possible.

I'm so sorry that happened to you. Whatever his reasons, what an awful person. I'm impressed that you've turned this into a way to motivate such positive and encouraging behavior, and I am sure you will manage to get past the remaining fears and anxieties too. It's my experience too that no matter how much you know that something like that has no reflection on who you are -- in my case, being picked on by a particular group in jr high and part of high school and feeling like an outcast -- it can have a lasting effect and be something you need to work on to get over. But you can and will.

lemurcat12 wrote: »

I'm so sorry that happened to you. Whatever his reasons, what an awful person. I'm impressed that you've turned this into a way to motivate such positive and encouraging behavior, and I am sure you will manage to get past the remaining fears and anxieties too. It's my experience too that no matter how much you know that something like that has no reflection on who you are -- in my case, being picked on by a particular group in jr high and part of high school and feeling like an outcast -- it can have a lasting effect and be something you need to work on to get over. But you can and will.

I will never get over being bullied in school. I will let the experience fuel my rise to power, until finally I rule the world. And then any kid who goes around bullying another kid will suffer the eternal torment and humiliation of three strikes, you're expelled, dude. Muahaha!

All I can say is...what a dick.

Did he mean fat or phat?

Pixie, you are wonderful,

You have worked hard, and look great.

But more than that, you have a wonderful kind and caring personality, and an intelligent mind that shines through in all your posts.

Share those qualities with the world IRL.

Cheers, h.

I haven't told my story much because from my experience, those that come from exceptionally good families & haven't gone through what I have, find comfort in denying that situations; such as mine occur but I believe that it's important to mention because of my success in dealing, with situations; such as this afterwards.

The worst & best day of my life, were the same day & about 1/2 of a minute, in between both incidents. I was 5 years old & was kept in the hospital for a year, from having gone into cardiac arrest; when I was 4 years old because my blood sugars, went extremely low (I am severely hypoglycemic) & it happened again approximately, a year later. After my 2nd cardiac arrest, I was awake but so weak; that I didn't even have the strength to open my eyes. I believe that my Mother, thought that I was still unconscious/sleeping; she was holding my left hand & I felt her rubbing it, when I awoke.

The worst day of my life began, when a nurse left & after I heard the door close, my Mother then threw my hand onto the bed & said "Why don't you die? You just never die." I tried to say "Mommy I'm sorry" but luckily I physically wasn't able to. As tears began to well into my eyes, I recall thinking about what could I have possibly done; to deserve for my Mommy to want me to die?

The best day of my life, was when I tried to remember my life; prior to that moment & when I couldn't think of any reason to deserve my Mother's hatred, I came to the realization that it wasn't my fault; that she hated me. It also made me realize that if my own Mother could hate me & it not be my fault, anyone can.

However though I had ensure that I was certain that any future incidents of being hated, by anyone; wasn't actually my fault. So every time I've had to deal with being hated, I had to reevaluate my past; to be sure that it wasn't. I've never forgotten that soul crushing feeling that I had, when I initially believed that my Mother's hatred of me; was my fault. At the time it really made me, want to die; to escape it & it has since been what has kept me from ever creating situations of my own, in which I know that; I'd deserve to be hated.

There was an additional blessing in disguise, to my Mother's hatred of me & that was that those that hate, can't wait to hate because of my Mother exposing her hatred of me when I was 5 years old instead of waiting 20 years, I didn't have much time to reflect upon; in my attempt to seek a reason for it & therefore it made it, so easy to come to the conclusion; that this wasn't my fault.

So I hope that everyone understands that it's possible for anyone to hate you & for it not be your fault & that if someone does hate you, it's best to know as soon as possible; so that you are able to better evaluate whether or not someone else's hatred of you, is your fault & make amends, if so.