Throwing in the towel
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Therealobi1 wrote: »Throwing in the towel usually means you're disappointed with results versus the effort you're putting in. Usually when I felt like throwing in the towel, I just questioned myself and answered honestly:
Have I really been 100%?
Did I really do everything right?
Have I really been consistent?
Have I attempted different approaches to help?
If I can answer yes to all of those with honesty, then I guess I could be justified in throwing in the towel if no results happened while doing them. If not, then it's not time to throw in the towel.
Since my answer to all 4 is no, now what? Start doing things I don't like to get the results I think I want?
I guess you just don't want it enough, that's all.
or is it that OP may be happy where she is, and really there is no need to do anything then maintain?
If you read my second post, you'd see that I don't mean it as a bad thing.0 -
I guess the real task is to examine what reaching a specified (and most times largely arbitrary) goal weight represents unconsciously which drives a person to strive so hard to reach it beyond that which is rational.
I'm guessing many times it is not about the actual weight itself but rather things like: social acceptance, wanting to feel normal and not judged, fear of failure, belief it will lead to a miraculous increase in confidence or happiness.
Then, when bringing those unconscious fears into the light, the realisation that losing a few more pounds won't make a blind bit of difference and there are probably a lot better ways of achieving those goals than chasing a number of a needle...0 -
You can always maintain for awhile and then decide if you want to lose any more weight. After a year straight of losing I was ready to take a break - I'd lost 120 pounds (the other 7 came off finding my maintenance calories). I was into the normal BMI range (barely). I never had a set in stone goal weight because
This. I maintained my current weight (about 2/3's to my goal weight) for the better part of year because I just wasn't quite ready for the last leg of the weight loss. (Though I didn't realize that at the time.)
If you're sick of logging, take a breather and maintain where you are. If there's other stuff going on that's stressing you out (thus making logging more of a burden than it was), evaluate and cope with that first. Just keep in mind that I don't think there's really a "back to normal" for people who have lost a lot of weight. I think we always end up being very hyper-focused on our food, lest the weight come back.0 -
Being 100%- have you been in calorie deficit or have you fudged some numbers?
You're saying go back to the beginning, to push myself into doing things I dislike - weight lifting, different meal timings, being hungry/hangry, eat at a "real" deficit (not -250 cals), etc.? I stopped doing many of those things because I was turning into a person I hated. I started down an ED path that I prefer not to see again.
You try doing all 4 right with commitment first. I say try it for at least 2 weeks. Then if you don't see any changes, make adjustments.Throwing in the towel usually means you're disappointed with results versus the effort you're putting in. Usually when I felt like throwing in the towel, I just questioned myself and answered honestly:
Have I really been 100%?
Did I really do everything right?
Have I really been consistent?
Have I attempted different approaches to help?
If I can answer yes to all of those with honesty, then I guess I could be justified in throwing in the towel if no results happened while doing them. If not, then it's not time to throw in the towel.
Since my answer to all 4 is no, now what? Start doing things I don't like to get the results I think I want?
There's a big difference in knowing how much my physical appearance can be changed without surgical intervention and what will "snap back" in a few years.
Did I do everything right- are your numbers correct on calories or are you guessing? Were you weighing food before, but aren't now?
Have I been consistent- are you good one day, but not so good the next and so on.
Have I attempted different approaches to help- what ever exercise program you like, have you tried it at a higher intensity? Doesn't have to be weight lifting, it can be walking, biking, dancing, etc.
There may be a time the IF you want to reach a certain goal, you may end up doing things you don't like. It would be then that you make the decision if it's worth it to you or not.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Therealobi1 wrote: »Throwing in the towel usually means you're disappointed with results versus the effort you're putting in. Usually when I felt like throwing in the towel, I just questioned myself and answered honestly:
Have I really been 100%?
Did I really do everything right?
Have I really been consistent?
Have I attempted different approaches to help?
If I can answer yes to all of those with honesty, then I guess I could be justified in throwing in the towel if no results happened while doing them. If not, then it's not time to throw in the towel.
Since my answer to all 4 is no, now what? Start doing things I don't like to get the results I think I want?
I guess you just don't want it enough, that's all.
or is it that OP may be happy where she is, and really there is no need to do anything then maintain?
If you read my second post, you'd see that I don't mean it as a bad thing.
i didnt read it as a bad thing.0 -
Just a quick note: If a person is diabetic and taking insulin while losing weight, it's wise to check with endocrinologist if your weight stalls for a long time. Your dosage may end up being too high and insulin will stall any weight loss if too high.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition 0 -
After about 13 months and 95 lb lost, I was 5 lb from my original goal and reasonably happy with how I looked (and able to fit back into all my smallest stuff from when I was at my goal weight some years ago). I still thought dropping additional fat was desirable, but it wasn't that urgent and I was really, really ready to not be focused on weight loss. What I did instead was focus on getting fitter while eating at maintenance--I trained for and did a multi-day bike trip, I spent more time on weights, various other athletic goals that interested me. For a while I kept thinking I would get back to losing, but I found I wasn't into it. There wasn't, for me, enough of a reason for it.
Now, I think I've had enough of a break (it's been about 7 months), and I've decided I do have a reason -- I think dropping a bit more fat will help me run faster -- so I'm going to try to get back to it.
One of the things that inspired me in reading MFP initially (and why I think it's so helpful to have old-timers around, not just newbies), is how people who were successfully maintaining weren't really ever done, but constantly focused on fitness in various ways. That's how I think of it and what I want -- I will never be done. But for me I do need breaks from being focused on mainly fat loss.0 -
melimomTARDIS wrote: »When did you guys decide you were finished with weight loss/gain? Was it when you reached your goal? Did you get sick and tired of eating at a deficit/surplus?
I'm mentally ready to be done with weight loss, just looking to see how other people did it and why.
meh, just start eating at maintenance. you can always change your mind later, and resume eating at a deficit... if you want to.
This is exactly right, don't stress over it. maintain for a while then come back and cut if you want to.. you just drop your calories.
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Being 100%- have you been in calorie deficit or have you fudged some numbers?
You're saying go back to the beginning, to push myself into doing things I dislike - weight lifting, different meal timings, being hungry/hangry, eat at a "real" deficit (not -250 cals), etc.? I stopped doing many of those things because I was turning into a person I hated. I started down an ED path that I prefer not to see again.
You try doing all 4 right with commitment first. I say try it for at least 2 weeks. Then if you don't see any changes, make adjustments.Throwing in the towel usually means you're disappointed with results versus the effort you're putting in. Usually when I felt like throwing in the towel, I just questioned myself and answered honestly:
Have I really been 100%?
Did I really do everything right?
Have I really been consistent?
Have I attempted different approaches to help?
If I can answer yes to all of those with honesty, then I guess I could be justified in throwing in the towel if no results happened while doing them. If not, then it's not time to throw in the towel.
Since my answer to all 4 is no, now what? Start doing things I don't like to get the results I think I want?
There's a big difference in knowing how much my physical appearance can be changed without surgical intervention and what will "snap back" in a few years.
Did I do everything right- are your numbers correct on calories or are you guessing? Were you weighing food before, but aren't now?
Have I been consistent- are you good one day, but not so good the next and so on.
Have I attempted different approaches to help- what ever exercise program you like, have you tried it at a higher intensity? Doesn't have to be weight lifting, it can be walking, biking, dancing, etc.
There may be a time the IF you want to reach a certain goal, you may end up doing things you don't like. It would be then that you make the decision if it's worth it to you or not.
This is why I asked. Your clarifications change my answers completely. It's like those true/false questions on tests - if one bit is false, the answer is always false. When I started years ago, I didn't know about weighing everything or where to get reliable/accurate nutritional info/calorie burns. That means my initial answers were all no. Once I learned how to find the answers I needed to get going, I've been as consistent and accurate as I can be.
I'd like to clarify that I'm not looking for permission to eat at maintenance. My mind has been teetering on stopping for a few months now and I wanted others input on what they did and did they have similar thoughts.0 -
When the doctor said my bloodwork was good and my weight was mid range healthy.0
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I'm only half way where I need to be for a healthy weight and would answer no to all of @ninerbuff's questions. I'm inconsistent and he's right. I've hit a point (at least for the last 6 months or so) where the output required to lose weight seems not worth it. Mostly, I'm just so busy and stressed out that dieting is making me a crazy b!tch.
Yeah, I know. It's not a diet it's a life change. But when your life is super hectic maybe that isn't the best time for a life change. Like, I wouldn't change my kids daycare when we moved since they were already stressed out from leaving our house.
Maybe you need some time to reassess. Or, even better just some time to not think about it. I needed time not to log every morsel that went into my donut hole. I felt better and much less stressed. Yes, I gained 12 lbs back. It's ok. I'm not giving up on losing the weight but sometimes your mental health is just as important as your physical health.
If you are going down a path you don't like maybe it's time to try a different path. You can always make a u-turn if you need to.0 -
As I got to my goal of 185 I started to tweak the numbers and went down to 173 lbs. It was then that people thought I was "going to far" so I loosened up and got back to 195. I have been in the 185 area but "feel" that 175 to 180 is my sweet spot, anything above that beer gut starts to show again. So I get that you are sick of maintaining but this takes constant monitoring of weight to see when further action is required. I did quit logging calories because I felt that I was re-trained on how to eat.0
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To me it's just as simple as asking yourself whether or not your happy where you are right now or not. If yes, then just maintain, you've clearly come a long way. If your not happy, then just keep going.0
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Ages ago I read a comment from someone who was working with a trainer to lose a large amount of weight, and the trainer instructed her to stop and maintain for a week (or whatever) at every 10-pound mark (or some other marker). I thought that was smart, because it would give your brain time to catch up and you'd get a break from a deficit (which can make you feel really tired, mentally and physically, after a while), and also you'd see the number of calories needed to be that weight and get a feel for whether it was a weight/calorie level where you'd be happy.
If you're tired of eating at a deficit, just eat at maintenance for a while. What have you got to lose?
I think the phrase "throwing in the towel" is throwing a lot of people off, including me. From that phrase, I assumed you meant you were going to stop logging and go hog wild because you just couldn't be bothered to care anymore. I don't think that's what you're saying.
And your progress is nothing short of incredible. Really--utter respect for what you've done.0 -
I think you should do what YOU feel is right for you. You have done a great job, I hope I do as well. I think the personally. You need to make that decision for yourself. You will do the right thing!
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When did you guys decide you were finished with weight loss/gain? Was it when you reached your goal? Did you get sick and tired of eating at a deficit/surplus?
I'm mentally ready to be done with weight loss, just looking to see how other people did it and why.arditarose wrote: »My 130's were a constant struggle. I wanted 130 and gave up initially at 133 because I just could not care about those last 3 pounds anymore. I was sooooo tired of a deficit. I tried a recomp instead, and I wasn't patient enough for that either. Now 5 weeks into a deficit, I'm not losing and I might give up again.
I would hate to see either of you give up. You really have inspired me! Thank you!0 -
scrittrice wrote: »Ages ago I read a comment from someone who was working with a trainer to lose a large amount of weight, and the trainer instructed her to stop and maintain for a week (or whatever) at every 10-pound mark (or some other marker). I thought that was smart, because it would give your brain time to catch up and you'd get a break from a deficit (which can make you feel really tired, mentally and physically, after a while), and also you'd see the number of calories needed to be that weight and get a feel for whether it was a weight/calorie level where you'd be happy.
If you're tired of eating at a deficit, just eat at maintenance for a while. What have you got to lose?
I think the phrase "throwing in the towel" is throwing a lot of people off, including me. From that phrase, I assumed you meant you were going to stop logging and go hog wild because you just couldn't be bothered to care anymore. I don't think that's what you're saying.
And your progress is nothing short of incredible. Really--utter respect for what you've done.
I thought "throwing in the towel" meant to quit, at least that's what it meant in the 1970s. It may look like I'm going back to being a sedentary glutton because my diary numbers are red, but I'm still logging and weighing. I do have an upper weight limit to pull back from (160), even with water weight gain I'd have to make serious inroads on a daily basis to get there.0 -
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You're saying go back to the beginning, to push myself into doing things I dislike - weight lifting, different meal timings, being hungry/hangry, eat at a "real" deficit (not -250 cals), etc.? I stopped doing many of those things because I was turning into a person I hated. I started down an ED path that I prefer not to see again.
You try doing all 4 right with commitment first. I say try it for at least 2 weeks. Then if you don't see any changes, make adjustments.Throwing in the towel usually means you're disappointed with results versus the effort you're putting in. Usually when I felt like throwing in the towel, I just questioned myself and answered honestly:
Have I really been 100%?
Did I really do everything right?
Have I really been consistent?
Have I attempted different approaches to help?
If I can answer yes to all of those with honesty, then I guess I could be justified in throwing in the towel if no results happened while doing them. If not, then it's not time to throw in the towel.
Since my answer to all 4 is no, now what? Start doing things I don't like to get the results I think I want?
There's a big difference in knowing how much my physical appearance can be changed without surgical intervention and what will "snap back" in a few years.
Only you can know what you want to do.
If you want to continue losing weight, follow ninerbuff's advice or something similar. If you don't, that's fine too. It isn't up to anyone here to decide if you have lost "enough" weight or not. You can decide which option makes you happier. Also, no decision is final. There is nothing wrong with maintaining for a while and then deciding down the line that you want to lose more. But doing things half-assed probably isn't going to make you happy. You will be disappointed with the results, but still feel like you are doing all this work. It doesn't matter what your decision is, but make a decision and stick with it for a while, whether it is lose weight or maintain.
^^ this is great advice.
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Don't throw in the towel...unless its just going into the dryer.
Be that beautiful person who doesn't know how to quit.0 -
I had hit my goal and it seemed like a good time. Go for it. You can always lose more later if you change your mind.0
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Never. I will always do some sort of maintenance/eating at a deficit. If I get complacent the weight comes back so I have to do this for the rest of my life. I'm okay with that. I shake it up enough to keep it interesting. I'll eat at maintenance for awhile, then drop calories. I'm always shaking up my workouts. Right now I'm doing more cardio than weight lifting. When I get tired of that I'll switch to more weight lifting and less cardio.
If there's one thing I've learned its that you're never "done". You always have to be vigilant. If you're not, you'll be like the people you read in the forums who are back for the second, third and fourth time to do it all over again because the weight came back.0 -
"Throwing in the towel" means to quit. Started with boxing I believe where corner men or trainers "threw in the towel" if their boxer was getting a beating and probably wouldn't recover.scrittrice wrote: »Ages ago I read a comment from someone who was working with a trainer to lose a large amount of weight, and the trainer instructed her to stop and maintain for a week (or whatever) at every 10-pound mark (or some other marker). I thought that was smart, because it would give your brain time to catch up and you'd get a break from a deficit (which can make you feel really tired, mentally and physically, after a while), and also you'd see the number of calories needed to be that weight and get a feel for whether it was a weight/calorie level where you'd be happy.
If you're tired of eating at a deficit, just eat at maintenance for a while. What have you got to lose?
I think the phrase "throwing in the towel" is throwing a lot of people off, including me. From that phrase, I assumed you meant you were going to stop logging and go hog wild because you just couldn't be bothered to care anymore. I don't think that's what you're saying.
And your progress is nothing short of incredible. Really--utter respect for what you've done.
I thought "throwing in the towel" meant to quit, at least that's what it meant in the 1970s. It may look like I'm going back to being a sedentary glutton because my diary numbers are red, but I'm still logging and weighing. I do have an upper weight limit to pull back from (160), even with water weight gain I'd have to make serious inroads on a daily basis to get there.
The options I gave were precisely for the reason of people wanting to quit because of lack or little results from effort seemingly put in.
I never want to see anyone quit if they haven't reached goal, so sometimes just reassessing the actions I mentioned above let's them look objectively if quitting is because of being tired of it or if they aren't succeeding in what I mentioned.
I sold vaccums door to door on straight commission for 12 years. Trust that there were many many times that I thought "I'm doing all this work, but I'm not making any money". But I was taught the method above. If I applied myself for one month being 100% and got no results, I'd be justified in quitting. Well every time I did, I had a great month.
I think we just get tired of the monotony, and truthfully that's why I've always gone with moderation for weight loss for ALL my clients because I don't want them to burn out on diet programs.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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For over 2 years maintaining, yes I sometimes get very sick of logging, refusing to over-eat, etc. And yeah you can always just "throw in the towel", but before you decide thinking back (way back if you must), the long journey it took you to get to this weight in the first place, I'm sure it's something you don't want to do again.0
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Spiderkeys wrote: »For over 2 years maintaining, yes I sometimes get very sick of logging, refusing to over-eat, etc. And yeah you can always just "throw in the towel", but before you decide thinking back (way back if you must), the long journey it took you to get to this weight in the first place, I'm sure it's something you don't want to do again.
But you didn't become fit overnight and you won't become obese overnight either. Sometimes taking a break is necessary to come back with a healthy mind. I tend to allow myself to do so every now and again - wash up and start again the following day.
The thought that I'd wake up back on my old weight was a nightmare that kept creeping up on me when I was trying to maintain. It's good to remember that you've picked healthy habits along the way - the consistency and the fact that I've made a habit of weighing myself means we're able to control "the damage" way before it's reached worrying level
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I'm a bit confused about where you are at . Have you lost the weight you needed to lose and just want to relax now or do you still have some way to go. If hte latter, I can offer help but if you are ready to just coast along having been diligent in reaching your goal, then all i'd say is be careful you don't fall back into bad old ways.
If you are merely sick of logging, great. You can't be expected to log yoru food for hte rest of your life. That's a bad plan.
I'm in maintenance, have recently stopped food diarising. Haven't done much actually logging all along my journey becuase its too tiresome.
But if you need help, because you have still some way to go then i'm your gal. Pm me as i may not get back here. MFP forum doesn't really make it easy to revisit threads. You need to be extra motivated to get back and check.
But as someone who has spent a lot of time in depression over the years I probably understand some of your issues. I am certainly with you as regards exercise. I do it now of course but most of my journey i did not do it and i will stop anytime i'm sick of it except now i've got a dog so i can't really do absolutely nothing as i used. But the gym - never!0 -
When did you guys decide you were finished with weight loss/gain? Was it when you reached your goal? Did you get sick and tired of eating at a deficit/surplus?
I'm mentally ready to be done with weight loss, just looking to see how other people did it and why.
My two cents: long term weight loss maintenance is not a nutritional issue. Long term weight loss maintenance is a behavioral issue. It is a matter of self-control.
People who succeed in losing weight have all the information they need (nutrition and portion control) to keep it off, but they often don't have the wisdom to use that information. Keeping a food diary works for me as a "moral reminder" (I think that is the term used in psychology). In essence, keeping a food diary nudges my self-control. BTW I wing it (I measure by volume, I eyeball it etc.).0 -
Awhile back I had a client who had a frustrating day and told me she was ready to quit (she had about 30lbs left to lose). At this point she lost 100lbs. I consoled her and asked her to do me a favor. I grabbed a pair of 50lb dumbells and put them in her hands and told her to just walk across the room with them and back. She thought it was part of the workout. When she put them down I asked her if that was hard or not and she replied in an expletive. Then I reminded her that almost a year ago, that's how she felt everyday.
She kissed me on the cheek, called me an expletive name, smiled and said, "Okay I get it, let's get to work now".
She ended up reaching goal (this past April), had some surgery to remove loose skin and is in the best shape of her life.
It'll happen. Just not when you throw in the towel.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition 0 -
You're saying go back to the beginning, to push myself into doing things I dislike - weight lifting, different meal timings, being hungry/hangry, eat at a "real" deficit (not -250 cals), etc.? I stopped doing many of those things because I was turning into a person I hated. I started down an ED path that I prefer not to see again.
You try doing all 4 right with commitment first. I say try it for at least 2 weeks. Then if you don't see any changes, make adjustments.Throwing in the towel usually means you're disappointed with results versus the effort you're putting in. Usually when I felt like throwing in the towel, I just questioned myself and answered honestly:
Have I really been 100%?
Did I really do everything right?
Have I really been consistent?
Have I attempted different approaches to help?
If I can answer yes to all of those with honesty, then I guess I could be justified in throwing in the towel if no results happened while doing them. If not, then it's not time to throw in the towel.
Since my answer to all 4 is no, now what? Start doing things I don't like to get the results I think I want?
There's a big difference in knowing how much my physical appearance can be changed without surgical intervention and what will "snap back" in a few years.
Why bother?
I mean, do you want to rant or really seeking help or trying to say people using MPF are stupid?
Why did you ask if do not need any help?
We're a happy bunch and motivate each other.0
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