Significant other and their habits..Break up or Suck it up??

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  • boomshakalaka911
    boomshakalaka911 Posts: 655 Member
    edited October 2015
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    So much hippy here.

    Sounds like some deeper issues than just homeboy eats meats. Sober up woman... Holy ****!
    JeffBrown3 wrote: »
    Im sorry, but if someone is even thinking about leaving a partner over something as minute as eating meat because of your lifestyle choice, I think you would be doing him a favor by leaving.

    Lololol no joke!!!!!
  • mirrim52
    mirrim52 Posts: 763 Member
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    So, if one of your kids decides they want to eat meat again, what do yo do? Look at them with disgust and kick them out to avoid stinking up the house?
    If you have been with this person for 15 years, they deserve more respect than you are showing here.
    Honestly, you sound like a stereotypical "new vegan" who decides that they are morally superior to all us omnivores, and therefore a better person. I know several vegans, some have been vegan for decades, before it was easy to find food options. They all seem to understand that their lifestyle is their own choice, and mine in my choice. They know I have no desire to be vegan, and guess what? They still treat me with respect.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    If you're marriage is at a state where you'd even consider leaving him for this, then I'd say you've made your choice. i feel sorry for the poor guy.
  • boomshakalaka911
    boomshakalaka911 Posts: 655 Member
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    Literally eating a steak right now.
  • rnohou2010
    rnohou2010 Posts: 271 Member
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    Apart from the food issue, are you guys good partners? Or are there other underlying problems? I'm just saying look at the guy from the broad perspective and weigh the good versus the bad. And he needs to make the same judgements of you.
  • kalynbreann357
    kalynbreann357 Posts: 56 Member
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    This is very off putting... How can you be with someone for 15 years and decide to leave all because they don't follow the same diet as you? You need a reality check, tell your SO how you're feeling and I'm sure they'll give you one.
  • Mr_Knight
    Mr_Knight Posts: 9,532 Member
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    You don't need to be vegetarian to be healthy. You sure there isn't something else going on, underneath this?
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
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    Your expectations are way too high! You literally want his *kitten* to smell like roses? Poor guy. :(
  • LKArgh
    LKArgh Posts: 5,179 Member
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    You need to discuss this with a therapist. Decision to leave a partner is not related to food or eating habits. It is very unlikely this has anything to do with what he eats or does not eat, even if it seems right now this way to you.
  • tiptoethruthetulips
    tiptoethruthetulips Posts: 3,361 Member
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    Kissimmee_Disney wrote: »
    Has anyone here had to deal with a significant other who just isn't "heading the same direction" I have become a vegetarian, trying to go vegan eventually.And my SO just keeps on eating meat.I have changed so much that just the thought of kissing someone who has chewed on meat kind of grosses me out.It has made me actually reconsider if this person should even be in my life.And let's not even mention the way the bathroom smells after they use it.(I am sorry if it sounds gross, but dead carcass coming out smells worse than going in! And my children are also vegetarian and the only time the home reeks is when the SO is here..15 years is what I have in the relationship, but after all this is my health and my life and I want someone who is at least CLOSE to heading my direction. And my SO generally likes "bigger" women which I am planning on NOT being ever again.Am I being too harsh or does anyone else have an opinion? Thanks ~~Kissimmee Disney~~~~ <3

    So it would seem that its your way or the highway? Yes you are being too harsh but then I am guessing its more than your SO (who isn't looking so special at the moment) not giving in to your demands not to eat meat.

    Sounds like the relationship was probably over some time ago. Do him a favour...



  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
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    I feel really bad for the guy. OP, please break up with him so he can find someone better.
  • Pawsforme
    Pawsforme Posts: 645 Member
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    If you're thinking of leaving your SO of 15 years over something as relatively unimportant as different dietary choices . . . my guess (hope?) is that there is something much deeper going on. Perhaps subconsciously, and this is just the way it's manifested. I certainly hope people wouldn't take such a long term relationship so lightly.
  • DanniB423
    DanniB423 Posts: 776 Member
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    If you'll let go of 15 years over that.. Then dump him! He can do better. I wish him luck.
  • KellieTru
    KellieTru Posts: 285 Member
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    It really sounds to me like your mind is already made up. The tone of your post is so cold in regards to your SO. Your partner really doesn't deserve that. Absolutely, you're WAY too harsh. There are issues bigger than the fact that your SO is a meat eater...you just aren't addressing them in your post. I think you ought to see a relationship therapist because I don't think it's reasonable to throw away 15 years and an intact family unit over whether someone eats meat.
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,089 Member
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    PikaKnight wrote: »
    I feel really bad for the guy. OP, please break up with him so he can find someone better.

    :wink:
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
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    Oh wow I can't even. 15 years and you want to ditch him because YOU decided to make a change of diet? Seriously, get some help. I'd be tempted to tell you to please leave him so he has the chance to make a new life with someone who won't have such crazy expectations.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,339 Member
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    :( Very sad for you and your bf...please believe me, you may think right now ditching him is the right idea, but I promise in two months you will start thinking the smell of meat is worth his presence....Don't you love him? What about your kids, don't they love him? Don't you want them to have their dad, regardless of what he eats? I have to reiterate whats been said here, I suggest either therapy with or without him, or let him go, so he can have a chance to be with someone who loves him for who he is.
  • Kyndness
    Kyndness Posts: 11 Member
    edited October 2015
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    Kissimmee_Disney wrote: »
    Has anyone here had to deal with a significant other who just isn't "heading the same direction"

    If I had to guess, you've changed over the last 15 years of your relationship, and this isn't just about him eating steak or stinking up the bathroom. I don't know how much weight you've lost or how long you've lived a vegetarian lifestyle, but it's not uncommon for weight loss (or one partner undergoing a huge life change, in general) to lead to divorce.

    My advice? Tell him how you're feeling. Find some meat-free dishes that you think he'll love and share your new eating habits with him. Invite him to exercise with you. I highly suggest reaching out to a therapist that can help you sort through these feelings.

    Best of luck to your family.

  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,214 Member
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    OP, if you are still here reading, let my try to offer a little comfort. You got bashed today (and I'm afraid I agree with most of it) but perhaps there is still a way you can someday have your vegan cake and eat it too. A friend of mine went vegan with her daughter but her husband refused to give up meat. She just kept cooking delicious meat free dishes and introducing meat substitutes and her husband eventually developed a fondness for all of it and gave up meat when he was at home. I'm also reading Finding Ultra, by Rich Roll. He was a 200lb meat eating lawyer, married to a vegan yoga instructor, who one day, after many years, and WITHOUT PROMPTING decided to go vegan. My advice would be to stop frustrating yourself and him by trying to force the change.

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