Is ignorance bliss?
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HappyCampr1 wrote: »Therealobi1 wrote: »In relations to this story OP told i am not sure where the ignorance is bliss comments is coming from, after all the OP stated not all of them were overweight. You know you have a party coming up, so some of them might of planned for it. Was that the first meal they had all day? Did they eat less all week to make up for it at the party? Are they going to make sure they work out later to make up for what they ate?
But outside of the story, yes I guess if people thought about how much they are eating more and the consequences of it there will be less weight problems
I thought it referred more to the mentally relaxed attitude that most people seem to have. Whether they actually aren't paying any attention, one can never know. But there are days when I wish I could just un-know all the things I've learned because where I am now, I always think about the calories, macros, micros.... I may make a conscious decision to just wing it, enjoy myself and not log. But, that was a decision I had to make and I'm still mindful. I can never eat completely carefree any more. I feel the regret sometimes, but of course, I wouldn't change back for anything. Paying attention is a very small price to pay for being healthy and happy and feeling good about accomplishing my goals. There's a trade off to everything. Now, I'm aware of what that is.
@happycampr1 ^^ this
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To be fair, not everyone needs to count calories to remain at a healthy weight. Some people seem to do it more effortlessly than others because some people actually do -- without thinking about it too much -- have a natural tendency to eat what they burn and no more. For people who are relatively active and who don't have an inclination to eat too much, it can seem easy or even effortless, and they might not understand why people feel the need to count calories.
Calorie counting is a tool. It's information. It's helpful to people who, left unchecked, would incline towards eating too much. It's also extremely helpful once you've gained too much weight in order to lose it again, because most of us don't nationally incline towards eating at a deficit.
But, it's like with anything that comes easy: Sometimes it stops being so easy. Just like the smart kid who coasts through high school only to hit a wall in college when the work gets harder and they realize they never developed proper study habits. That naturally slim friend packing it away at a BBQ in her 20s might have a rude awakening when she hits her 50s and starts to get thicker around the middle. Then you'll be the one ahead of the game, because you've honed your skills and nutritional and exercise knowledge earlier.0 -
RunRutheeRun wrote: »Time for a little rant!
Last night I was at a barbecue, it was a buffet style at my sister in laws - I stuck to the meats plus salads and for dessert I indulged in a small slice of birthday cake and some trifle....
That all came to 1500 calories!! For one meal! (My TDEE is approx 2200)
Anyway what I'm ranting about is that I noticed that everyone else in the room ate around 3 times what I did....! :-( and they didn't seem to care just how much either.
Is ignorance really bliss? ?
I sort of begrudge them for being able to be so care free!
And the thing is only a few if them were overweight.
Sighhhhh.
I ended up being 250 cals over my TDEE yesterday which is fine as during the week I eat at slight deficit since maintenance to allow for my weekend eating.
Sometimes I wish I could just eat without thinking of the calories.....but then I wouldn't be slim!! So needs must.
Anyone else care to rant about anything similar?
Ruth
I TOTALLY hear you!
Sometimes it feels like I'm the only person in the world bothering to count my calories - especially at social events! I am the only one mentally totting up the calories and 'logging it into my tracker' - but I know that without those habits of mine, I will almost certainly 1000% gain my weight back and I'm just not willing to do that right now. It can be really upsetting to see my friends eating whatever they want in abundance and not gain a single pound and sometimes knowing I can't have that kind of 'normality' does bother me. But it is what it is and I have to accept the way my body reacts to food. Sure, I'm not like every one else - so I make an effort to stay on track and I remind myself it's for my own good
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I stopped in my local watering hole yesterday. I check in about once every 3 weeks. I stick to rum and diet coke...usually only one but sometimes two. Nick, a guy about my age, is sitting there. Severely overweight and smoking. Also had a bucket of beers in front of him, found out it was his second bucket of the day. The bartender and I are chatting about local gyms when Nick pipes up....I need to go to the gym but never find the time. I turn to Nick and said..so how often do you come in here? He replied...every day usually, but only for about an hr. I didn't say another word. Just raised my eyebrow. I rest my case.
When you set health goals for yourself, and start reaching them...it becomes very obvious how others are simply plodding along.
Stay focused....
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PinkPixiexox wrote: »RunRutheeRun wrote: »Time for a little rant!
Last night I was at a barbecue, it was a buffet style at my sister in laws - I stuck to the meats plus salads and for dessert I indulged in a small slice of birthday cake and some trifle....
That all came to 1500 calories!! For one meal! (My TDEE is approx 2200)
Anyway what I'm ranting about is that I noticed that everyone else in the room ate around 3 times what I did....! :-( and they didn't seem to care just how much either.
Is ignorance really bliss? ?
I sort of begrudge them for being able to be so care free!
And the thing is only a few if them were overweight.
Sighhhhh.
I ended up being 250 cals over my TDEE yesterday which is fine as during the week I eat at slight deficit since maintenance to allow for my weekend eating.
Sometimes I wish I could just eat without thinking of the calories.....but then I wouldn't be slim!! So needs must.
Anyone else care to rant about anything similar?
Ruth
I TOTALLY hear you!
Sometimes it feels like I'm the only person in the world bothering to count my calories - especially at social events! I am the only one mentally totting up the calories and 'logging it into my tracker' - but I know that without those habits of mine, I will almost certainly 1000% gain my weight back and I'm just not willing to do that right now. It can be really upsetting to see my friends eating whatever they want in abundance and not gain a single pound and sometimes knowing I can't have that kind of 'normality' does bother me. But it is what it is and I have to accept the way my body reacts to food. Sure, I'm not like every one else - so I make an effort to stay on track and I remind myself it's for my own good
I really think i am missing something here, because when I go out I am not thinking about what my friend has eaten. Why would it upset you what they eat? Have you ever asked them for an honest conversation about what they do activity wise and food wise. Maybe a typical day/week.
One of my friends loves to keep fit, and always looks good. She doesnt log her food but she is mindful of what she eats. She says whenever she creeps up a few pounds she will make adjustments. Another friend of mine is very skinny, doesnt exercise but she says she can go the whole day without eating and then maybe the next day she eats loads.
SInce I lost weight I am more mindful of what I eat as I do not want to put the weight back on. So yes again like you I stay here to keep me on track. Also I dont understand why we cant have what you call that normality. I am aiming to be exactly like my friend number one, who keeps fit and is mindful of her food but without the logging.0 -
RunRutheeRun wrote: »I don't actually care what others do, but these are my family, they eat this way every day and think I'm over the top cos I exercise loads and count cals. Yes some of them are men and tall so I get why they get away with eating huge amounts.
I was more or less just making a point, that them being unaware of how much they're eating does seem to be bliss.
I eat over my TDEE every Saturday, always have done since i started my weight loss journey in 2012. Last night was no different and the rest of the week I am in deficit, that works for me.
I could easily have ate double what I did. But I wouldn't. Old me would have and not given it a second thought but then I'd moan about how fat I was!!
I want to stay slim so I'll do what it takes.
One thing I wonder is if you do the same thing I do. When I go to events where I don't know the actual calorie contents of food (since I didn't make it), I use MFP to estimate it, and always pick the highest options from the database. If you also do that, it's very possible you only ate something like 1000 calories and everyone else at a lot, but not as much as you think.0 -
I can relate to that, I work from home and always used to say i havent got the time to exercise. I truly believed it. Its only when I got to this site I realised that there was so much you can do from you tube, and other websites. Also why couldnt I do it in my lunch time or before I start work. None of those things occurred to me. So I guess maybe I finally understand the ignorance is bliss comments. Doh, took me time.TiberiusClaudis wrote: »I stopped in my local watering hole yesterday. I check in about once every 3 weeks. I stick to rum and diet coke...usually only one but sometimes two. Nick, a guy about my age, is sitting there. Severely overweight and smoking. Also had a bucket of beers in front of him, found out it was his second bucket of the day. The bartender and I are chatting about local gyms when Nick pipes up....I need to go to the gym but never find the time. I turn to Nick and said..so how often do you come in here? He replied...every day usually, but only for about an hr. I didn't say another word. Just raised my eyebrow. I rest my case.
When you set health goals for yourself, and start reaching them...it becomes very obvious how others are simply plodding along.
Stay focused....
The most important thing is being ready, and I was ready. That chap you mentioned, will prob wait until he has a wake up call.
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I figure the guy who says he doesn't have time to exercise is pretty much like all the people I know who say they don't have time or money to travel.
I used to answer those "oh, I'm so jealous of your trip" queries with practical advice on how to save up time and money to travel. But that was naive of me. I stopped doing that. 'Cause the reality is, if someone really wants to travel, the time / money thing won't stop them. They'll figure out all those methods to save up time and money on their own.
But the truth is, for most of those people, travel simply isn't a priority. They may "want" to travel in theory in an "oh, it would be lovely to go to Paris one day" sort of way. But they don't really want to travel. Not enough to make the sacrifices that they'd have to make, or to prioritize travel over other things that matter to them -- like a mortgage or a car or dinners out or video games or having kids or whatever is important to them. And that's totally fine! It's okay for them to decide they'd rather own a condo than take expensive vacations, just as it's okay for me to decide that I'd rather travel. We're all different.
So that guy in the bar? He wants to be in the bar more than he wants to be at the gym. That's fine, dude. Just own it. And recognize that it's a choice. And if there ever comes a time when you want to make a different choice, you can do that too. That's on you.
I've stopped worrying about what other people's choices are, or judging them for it. Their life, their choices.0 -
life isn't fair. we have to count calories, others don't. I work with special need kids, that sure isn't fair. The job has made me very grateful.0
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It could be genetics i.e. some people can eat very large amounts of food and their body seems to burn more efficiently that you or me. I know that most men in my family have a stocky build and if I don't control my eating it shows very quickly. Ignorance is bliss but intelligent dieting is heaven…0
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I figure the guy who says he doesn't have time to exercise is pretty much like all the people I know who say they don't have time or money to travel.
I used to answer those "oh, I'm so jealous of your trip" queries with practical advice on how to save up time and money to travel. But that was naive of me. I stopped doing that. 'Cause the reality is, if someone really wants to travel, the time / money thing won't stop them. They'll figure out all those methods to save up time and money on their own.
But the truth is, for most of those people, travel simply isn't a priority. They may "want" to travel in theory in an "oh, it would be lovely to go to Paris one day" sort of way. But they don't really want to travel. Not enough to make the sacrifices that they'd have to make, or to prioritize travel over other things that matter to them -- like a mortgage or a car or dinners out or video games or having kids or whatever is important to them. And that's totally fine! It's okay for them to decide they'd rather own a condo than take expensive vacations, just as it's okay for me to decide that I'd rather travel. We're all different.
So that guy in the bar? He wants to be in the bar more than he wants to be at the gym. That's fine, dude. Just own it. And recognize that it's a choice. And if there ever comes a time when you want to make a different choice, you can do that too. That's on you.
I've stopped worrying about what other people's choices are, or judging them for it. Their life, their choices.
The bold bit i think is really important.
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Before MFP (and changing my workouts from cardio to more strength focused), I was one of those people too. I would eat A LOT and probably appeared totally care free about it to others. Here's the thing, though, I'd be in guilt trip city afterward. I'd try to compensate through deprivation the following day, and I'd do crazy cardio as another attempt to compensate. I was still "slim," but I certainly didn't have the body I wanted, I was unhappy and insecure, and- most importantly- it wasn't healthy! Now I track on MFP and let myself go completely 1 day/week (I do the same as you, give myself a deficit in prep for that fun day). That free day feels good, but maintaining my ideal weight, having a shape others compliment me on, loving the way I look in pictures, confidence and fitting into lots of fun outfits feels even better! There's always gonna be times it seems like a huge, unrewarded effort....those are the times you reward yourself with a new piece of workout gear or a massage or just a nice long foam rolling session.0
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RunRutheeRun wrote: »I don't actually care what others do, but these are my family, they eat this way every day and think I'm over the top cos I exercise loads and count cals. Yes some of them are men and tall so I get why they get away with eating huge amounts.
I was more or less just making a point, that them being unaware of how much they're eating does seem to be bliss.
I eat over my TDEE every Saturday, always have done since i started my weight loss journey in 2012. Last night was no different and the rest of the week I am in deficit, that works for me.
I could easily have ate double what I did. But I wouldn't. Old me would have and not given it a second thought but then I'd moan about how fat I was!!
I want to stay slim so I'll do what it takes.
One thing I wonder is if you do the same thing I do. When I go to events where I don't know the actual calorie contents of food (since I didn't make it), I use MFP to estimate it, and always pick the highest options from the database. If you also do that, it's very possible you only ate something like 1000 calories and everyone else at a lot, but not as much as you think.
I was wondering this too. I bet you didn't actually consume 1500 calories. Regardless, I don't consider ignorance bliss anymore. I feel great knowing I can fit anything into my diet through calorie counting. Even binges on pizza and beer. I don't have to feel guilty because I know I can always keep things in check.0 -
But aren't we talking about just one indulgence every once in a while here (i.e the BBQ the OP was talking about)?
I don't even log anything when i go to a BBQ or eat out at a Restaurant.....especially as i'm maintaining. I don't feel the need to log for that one day.
As long as i cut back for the next few days and do some exercise, i'm sorted.
It's not a big deal.
It becomes a big deal only when you start to indulge too often!
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Before MFP (and changing my workouts from cardio to more strength focused), I was one of those people too. I would eat A LOT and probably appeared totally care free about it to others. Here's the thing, though, I'd be in guilt trip city afterward. I'd try to compensate through deprivation the following day, and I'd do crazy cardio as another attempt to compensate. I was still "slim," but I certainly didn't have the body I wanted, I was unhappy and insecure, and- most importantly- it wasn't healthy! Now I track on MFP and let myself go completely 1 day/week (I do the same as you, give myself a deficit in prep for that fun day). That free day feels good, but maintaining my ideal weight, having a shape others compliment me on, loving the way I look in pictures, confidence and fitting into lots of fun outfits feels even better! There's always gonna be times it seems like a huge, unrewarded effort....those are the times you reward yourself with a new piece of workout gear or a massage or just a nice long foam rolling session.
Love your attitude 0 -
RunRutheeRun wrote: »I don't actually care what others do, but these are my family, they eat this way every day and think I'm over the top cos I exercise loads and count cals. Yes some of them are men and tall so I get why they get away with eating huge amounts.
I was more or less just making a point, that them being unaware of how much they're eating does seem to be bliss.
I eat over my TDEE every Saturday, always have done since i started my weight loss journey in 2012. Last night was no different and the rest of the week I am in deficit, that works for me.
I could easily have ate double what I did. But I wouldn't. Old me would have and not given it a second thought but then I'd moan about how fat I was!!
I want to stay slim so I'll do what it takes.
One thing I wonder is if you do the same thing I do. When I go to events where I don't know the actual calorie contents of food (since I didn't make it), I use MFP to estimate it, and always pick the highest options from the database. If you also do that, it's very possible you only ate something like 1000 calories and everyone else at a lot, but not as much as you think.
I was wondering this too. I bet you didn't actually consume 1500 calories. Regardless, I don't consider ignorance bliss anymore. I feel great knowing I can fit anything into my diet through calorie counting. Even binges on pizza and beer. I don't have to feel guilty because I know I can always keep things in check.
I always choose highest cal value if I'm unsure, always better to err on high side.0 -
ExRelaySprinter wrote: »I don't even log anything when i go to a BBQ or eat out at a Restaurant.....especially as i'm maintaining. I don't feel the need to log for that one day.
As long as i cut back for the next few days and do some exercise, i'm sorted.
It's not a big deal.
It becomes a big deal only when you start to indulge too often!
Oh wow, I can't even imagine this approach working for me.
Maybe if things like parties and restaurants are really rare in your life, that's okay. But I eat at restaurants a lot. I go to a lot of social events. I'm eating meals not at home several times a week.
I log and track as best as I can. It's never going to be perfect, especially since restaurants around here don't publish calorie information. But I do my best to log as accurately as I can, and I stay mindful of planning those meals just like I would any other, to stay under my calorie goals.
I'll give myself a few days a year when I can go nuts, like my birthday or a couple of holidays. But other than that, I need to log whether I eat at home or in a restaurant or at someone's backyard bbq.0 -
ExRelaySprinter wrote: »I don't even log anything when i go to a BBQ or eat out at a Restaurant.....especially as i'm maintaining. I don't feel the need to log for that one day.
As long as i cut back for the next few days and do some exercise, i'm sorted.
It's not a big deal.
It becomes a big deal only when you start to indulge too often!
Oh wow, I can't even imagine this approach working for me.
Maybe if things like parties and restaurants are really rare in your life, that's okay. But I eat at restaurants a lot. I go to a lot of social events. I'm eating meals not at home several times a week.
I log and track as best as I can. It's never going to be perfect, especially since restaurants around here don't publish calorie information. But I do my best to log as accurately as I can, and I stay mindful of planning those meals just like I would any other, to stay under my calorie goals.
I'll give myself a few days a year when I can go nuts, like my birthday or a couple of holidays. But other than that, I need to log whether I eat at home or in a restaurant or at someone's backyard bbq.
Yeah me too. But I always exercise and eat less the rest of the time, I'm just more comfortable logging everything than not.
To come back to the OP though, I actually have yet to meet a normal weight person who eats a lot at parties. Most people I see stacking their plates with food are at least overweight, and I honestly don't think they're happy about it... they just don't care enough to change it. So I don't think it's all roses and kittens for them either. Although yeah, when I was obese and stuffing my face at buffets, it was pretty glorious. Now I can't do that anymore without that nagging voice in my head telling me that I should probably stop.0 -
Ignorance is bliss but intelligent dieting is heaven…
I love this line: "intelligent dieting is heaven!" It is for me as well. It makes going to a BBQ or other indulgent meal so much more manageable - it used to make me think "Well, that's my diet blown. I'll start over on Monday" and so it really was a disaster instead of just one meal. One big meal is no big deal, if you think about a whole week's worth of eating at deficit and a whole week's worth of exercise. Now I like to plan for one big meal a week. Sometimes I just eat less that day leading up to it - sometimes I exercise more the day before and the day after. It's not a disaster.
Since starting MFP, I have a much better idea of just what the impact is of having ribs AND a piece of chicken AND mac and cheese. I'm much more likely to skip a biscuit so I can have another serving of something I really like. It has empowered me with information!
Tracking on MFP has also made me hyper-aware that in a lot of situations like this, there are simply NO vegetables to be had. For most meals I make myself, I fill up with a lot of veggies and then have smaller amounts of high-calorie foods. It's become my normal. That makes meals like the big BBQs seem like more of an oddity and less like a way of eating I would enjoy every day.
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Ignorance is bliss but intelligent dieting is heaven…
I love this line: "intelligent dieting is heaven!" It is for me as well. It makes going to a BBQ or other indulgent meal so much more manageable - it used to make me think "Well, that's my diet blown. I'll start over on Monday" and so it really was a disaster instead of just one meal. One big meal is no big deal, if you think about a whole week's worth of eating at deficit and a whole week's worth of exercise. Now I like to plan for one big meal a week. Sometimes I just eat less that day leading up to it - sometimes I exercise more the day before and the day after. It's not a disaster.
Since starting MFP, I have a much better idea of just what the impact is of having ribs AND a piece of chicken AND mac and cheese. I'm much more likely to skip a biscuit so I can have another serving of something I really like. It has empowered me with information!
Tracking on MFP has also made me hyper-aware that in a lot of situations like this, there are simply NO vegetables to be had. For most meals I make myself, I fill up with a lot of veggies and then have smaller amounts of high-calorie foods. It's become my normal. That makes meals like the big BBQs seem like more of an oddity and less like a way of eating I would enjoy every day.
True about veggies. At the last BBQ I went to, the only veggies were oil and mayo-smothered salads.0 -
Wow, at most BBQs and parties I go to, there are tons of veggies. Someone always wants to volunteer to bring the crudités and dip, and lots of people typically bring salads, too.
Then again, my social circles tend to be very veggie-friendly.0 -
Wow, at most BBQs and parties I go to, there are tons of veggies. Someone always wants to volunteer to bring the crudités and dip, and lots of people typically bring salads, too.
Then again, my social circles tend to be very veggie-friendly.
^^ yes thats what I find as well and it was me who was responsible for bringing the 'slaw which I home make and go easy on the mayo on (use more lemon juice), tastes better than anything shop bought, even if I do say so myself lol 0 -
are they ignorant or making a choice?
I often will consume a lot at family bbq's. People wonder how i eat all that food and maintain my weight...
It's easy...I watch most days, exercise and that means I can indulge when I so choose...1
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