Is ignorance bliss?
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I figure the guy who says he doesn't have time to exercise is pretty much like all the people I know who say they don't have time or money to travel.
I used to answer those "oh, I'm so jealous of your trip" queries with practical advice on how to save up time and money to travel. But that was naive of me. I stopped doing that. 'Cause the reality is, if someone really wants to travel, the time / money thing won't stop them. They'll figure out all those methods to save up time and money on their own.
But the truth is, for most of those people, travel simply isn't a priority. They may "want" to travel in theory in an "oh, it would be lovely to go to Paris one day" sort of way. But they don't really want to travel. Not enough to make the sacrifices that they'd have to make, or to prioritize travel over other things that matter to them -- like a mortgage or a car or dinners out or video games or having kids or whatever is important to them. And that's totally fine! It's okay for them to decide they'd rather own a condo than take expensive vacations, just as it's okay for me to decide that I'd rather travel. We're all different.
So that guy in the bar? He wants to be in the bar more than he wants to be at the gym. That's fine, dude. Just own it. And recognize that it's a choice. And if there ever comes a time when you want to make a different choice, you can do that too. That's on you.
I've stopped worrying about what other people's choices are, or judging them for it. Their life, their choices.
The bold bit i think is really important.
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Before MFP (and changing my workouts from cardio to more strength focused), I was one of those people too. I would eat A LOT and probably appeared totally care free about it to others. Here's the thing, though, I'd be in guilt trip city afterward. I'd try to compensate through deprivation the following day, and I'd do crazy cardio as another attempt to compensate. I was still "slim," but I certainly didn't have the body I wanted, I was unhappy and insecure, and- most importantly- it wasn't healthy! Now I track on MFP and let myself go completely 1 day/week (I do the same as you, give myself a deficit in prep for that fun day). That free day feels good, but maintaining my ideal weight, having a shape others compliment me on, loving the way I look in pictures, confidence and fitting into lots of fun outfits feels even better! There's always gonna be times it seems like a huge, unrewarded effort....those are the times you reward yourself with a new piece of workout gear or a massage or just a nice long foam rolling session.0
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RunRutheeRun wrote: »I don't actually care what others do, but these are my family, they eat this way every day and think I'm over the top cos I exercise loads and count cals. Yes some of them are men and tall so I get why they get away with eating huge amounts.
I was more or less just making a point, that them being unaware of how much they're eating does seem to be bliss.
I eat over my TDEE every Saturday, always have done since i started my weight loss journey in 2012. Last night was no different and the rest of the week I am in deficit, that works for me.
I could easily have ate double what I did. But I wouldn't. Old me would have and not given it a second thought but then I'd moan about how fat I was!!
I want to stay slim so I'll do what it takes.
One thing I wonder is if you do the same thing I do. When I go to events where I don't know the actual calorie contents of food (since I didn't make it), I use MFP to estimate it, and always pick the highest options from the database. If you also do that, it's very possible you only ate something like 1000 calories and everyone else at a lot, but not as much as you think.
I was wondering this too. I bet you didn't actually consume 1500 calories. Regardless, I don't consider ignorance bliss anymore. I feel great knowing I can fit anything into my diet through calorie counting. Even binges on pizza and beer. I don't have to feel guilty because I know I can always keep things in check.0 -
But aren't we talking about just one indulgence every once in a while here (i.e the BBQ the OP was talking about)?
I don't even log anything when i go to a BBQ or eat out at a Restaurant.....especially as i'm maintaining. I don't feel the need to log for that one day.
As long as i cut back for the next few days and do some exercise, i'm sorted.
It's not a big deal.
It becomes a big deal only when you start to indulge too often!
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Before MFP (and changing my workouts from cardio to more strength focused), I was one of those people too. I would eat A LOT and probably appeared totally care free about it to others. Here's the thing, though, I'd be in guilt trip city afterward. I'd try to compensate through deprivation the following day, and I'd do crazy cardio as another attempt to compensate. I was still "slim," but I certainly didn't have the body I wanted, I was unhappy and insecure, and- most importantly- it wasn't healthy! Now I track on MFP and let myself go completely 1 day/week (I do the same as you, give myself a deficit in prep for that fun day). That free day feels good, but maintaining my ideal weight, having a shape others compliment me on, loving the way I look in pictures, confidence and fitting into lots of fun outfits feels even better! There's always gonna be times it seems like a huge, unrewarded effort....those are the times you reward yourself with a new piece of workout gear or a massage or just a nice long foam rolling session.
Love your attitude
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RunRutheeRun wrote: »I don't actually care what others do, but these are my family, they eat this way every day and think I'm over the top cos I exercise loads and count cals. Yes some of them are men and tall so I get why they get away with eating huge amounts.
I was more or less just making a point, that them being unaware of how much they're eating does seem to be bliss.
I eat over my TDEE every Saturday, always have done since i started my weight loss journey in 2012. Last night was no different and the rest of the week I am in deficit, that works for me.
I could easily have ate double what I did. But I wouldn't. Old me would have and not given it a second thought but then I'd moan about how fat I was!!
I want to stay slim so I'll do what it takes.
One thing I wonder is if you do the same thing I do. When I go to events where I don't know the actual calorie contents of food (since I didn't make it), I use MFP to estimate it, and always pick the highest options from the database. If you also do that, it's very possible you only ate something like 1000 calories and everyone else at a lot, but not as much as you think.
I was wondering this too. I bet you didn't actually consume 1500 calories. Regardless, I don't consider ignorance bliss anymore. I feel great knowing I can fit anything into my diet through calorie counting. Even binges on pizza and beer. I don't have to feel guilty because I know I can always keep things in check.
I always choose highest cal value if I'm unsure, always better to err on high side.0 -
ExRelaySprinter wrote: »I don't even log anything when i go to a BBQ or eat out at a Restaurant.....especially as i'm maintaining. I don't feel the need to log for that one day.
As long as i cut back for the next few days and do some exercise, i'm sorted.
It's not a big deal.
It becomes a big deal only when you start to indulge too often!
Oh wow, I can't even imagine this approach working for me.
Maybe if things like parties and restaurants are really rare in your life, that's okay. But I eat at restaurants a lot. I go to a lot of social events. I'm eating meals not at home several times a week.
I log and track as best as I can. It's never going to be perfect, especially since restaurants around here don't publish calorie information. But I do my best to log as accurately as I can, and I stay mindful of planning those meals just like I would any other, to stay under my calorie goals.
I'll give myself a few days a year when I can go nuts, like my birthday or a couple of holidays. But other than that, I need to log whether I eat at home or in a restaurant or at someone's backyard bbq.0 -
ExRelaySprinter wrote: »I don't even log anything when i go to a BBQ or eat out at a Restaurant.....especially as i'm maintaining. I don't feel the need to log for that one day.
As long as i cut back for the next few days and do some exercise, i'm sorted.
It's not a big deal.
It becomes a big deal only when you start to indulge too often!
Oh wow, I can't even imagine this approach working for me.
Maybe if things like parties and restaurants are really rare in your life, that's okay. But I eat at restaurants a lot. I go to a lot of social events. I'm eating meals not at home several times a week.
I log and track as best as I can. It's never going to be perfect, especially since restaurants around here don't publish calorie information. But I do my best to log as accurately as I can, and I stay mindful of planning those meals just like I would any other, to stay under my calorie goals.
I'll give myself a few days a year when I can go nuts, like my birthday or a couple of holidays. But other than that, I need to log whether I eat at home or in a restaurant or at someone's backyard bbq.
Yeah me too. But I always exercise and eat less the rest of the time, I'm just more comfortable logging everything than not.
To come back to the OP though, I actually have yet to meet a normal weight person who eats a lot at parties. Most people I see stacking their plates with food are at least overweight, and I honestly don't think they're happy about it... they just don't care enough to change it. So I don't think it's all roses and kittens for them either. Although yeah, when I was obese and stuffing my face at buffets, it was pretty glorious. Now I can't do that anymore without that nagging voice in my head telling me that I should probably stop.0 -
Ignorance is bliss but intelligent dieting is heaven…
I love this line: "intelligent dieting is heaven!" It is for me as well. It makes going to a BBQ or other indulgent meal so much more manageable - it used to make me think "Well, that's my diet blown. I'll start over on Monday" and so it really was a disaster instead of just one meal. One big meal is no big deal, if you think about a whole week's worth of eating at deficit and a whole week's worth of exercise. Now I like to plan for one big meal a week. Sometimes I just eat less that day leading up to it - sometimes I exercise more the day before and the day after. It's not a disaster.
Since starting MFP, I have a much better idea of just what the impact is of having ribs AND a piece of chicken AND mac and cheese. I'm much more likely to skip a biscuit so I can have another serving of something I really like. It has empowered me with information!
Tracking on MFP has also made me hyper-aware that in a lot of situations like this, there are simply NO vegetables to be had. For most meals I make myself, I fill up with a lot of veggies and then have smaller amounts of high-calorie foods. It's become my normal. That makes meals like the big BBQs seem like more of an oddity and less like a way of eating I would enjoy every day.
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Ignorance is bliss but intelligent dieting is heaven…
I love this line: "intelligent dieting is heaven!" It is for me as well. It makes going to a BBQ or other indulgent meal so much more manageable - it used to make me think "Well, that's my diet blown. I'll start over on Monday" and so it really was a disaster instead of just one meal. One big meal is no big deal, if you think about a whole week's worth of eating at deficit and a whole week's worth of exercise. Now I like to plan for one big meal a week. Sometimes I just eat less that day leading up to it - sometimes I exercise more the day before and the day after. It's not a disaster.
Since starting MFP, I have a much better idea of just what the impact is of having ribs AND a piece of chicken AND mac and cheese. I'm much more likely to skip a biscuit so I can have another serving of something I really like. It has empowered me with information!
Tracking on MFP has also made me hyper-aware that in a lot of situations like this, there are simply NO vegetables to be had. For most meals I make myself, I fill up with a lot of veggies and then have smaller amounts of high-calorie foods. It's become my normal. That makes meals like the big BBQs seem like more of an oddity and less like a way of eating I would enjoy every day.
True about veggies. At the last BBQ I went to, the only veggies were oil and mayo-smothered salads.0 -
Wow, at most BBQs and parties I go to, there are tons of veggies. Someone always wants to volunteer to bring the crudités and dip, and lots of people typically bring salads, too.
Then again, my social circles tend to be very veggie-friendly.0 -
Wow, at most BBQs and parties I go to, there are tons of veggies. Someone always wants to volunteer to bring the crudités and dip, and lots of people typically bring salads, too.
Then again, my social circles tend to be very veggie-friendly.
^^ yes thats what I find as well and it was me who was responsible for bringing the 'slaw which I home make and go easy on the mayo on (use more lemon juice), tastes better than anything shop bought, even if I do say so myself lol 0 -
are they ignorant or making a choice?
I often will consume a lot at family bbq's. People wonder how i eat all that food and maintain my weight...
It's easy...I watch most days, exercise and that means I can indulge when I so choose...1
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