WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR OCTOBER 2015

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  • mparker1216
    mparker1216 Posts: 66 Member
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    Welcome, Carol
  • barbiecat
    barbiecat Posts: 16,984 Member
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    bwcetc wrote: »
    Barbie ... I've been thinking about your response to "don't stress." You said that instead you identify the problem and formulate a plan of action. What do you do when there is no plan of action ... When there is nothing to do? When we are literally helpless to affect change, how do we not stress? Especially when it involves people we love and care about?

    Beth

    It is difficult to accept that I am powerless over so many things, that the necessary approach to life is to recognize that "it is what it is", stay in the moment, and turn my attention to things that I can control...depending on personal spiritual principles, prayer and meditation are a great help.

    I was raised in a family with the philosophy of "when in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream, and shout"....it has taken me a long time to adopt a new spiritual way of life.

    Take it one day at a time, and as Heather says, "Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good"

  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
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    Heather: I hope your adventure in gluten free cooking turned out to be interesting and enjoyable. We went gluten free for a while, thinking it would help DH's MS symptoms. We found that it had no impact and went back to regular cooking. The calories were higher in gluten free baking than my regular recipes. I wonder whether others have had a similar experience. I'll be interested to know what you think. :flowerforyou:

    Hopeblossom & Newbies: Welcome to a great group. :smile: Eating out can be a real challenge. I do some things that work for me, and may spark some ideas for you.
    * Many chain restaurants have online menus with nutrition and calorie information so you can plan your order before you get there.
    * Sometimes I order a regular item and ask that half be put into a box BEFORE it is served, so I get a plate with half the meal and a box with the other half at the same time others get their meal. I've had success with this at Red Robin.
    * Sometimes I order an appetizer or two and ask that it/they be served at the same time my companions are served dinner.
    * At the local Chinese eatery, I order my meal without rice.
    * DH and I prefer to eat lunch out rather than dinner out a good bit of the time because the portions are more moderate. I hope this gives you some ideas that will help your gain control of your dinners out and still allow you to enjoy your meal.
    * I agree with Pip about a food scale for meals at home. I also use restaurant style dishers for things like rice and stew that are difficult to put on a scale so that I know how large my serving is. the dishes look like ice cream scoops. I have 3 scoops: ½ cup , ⅓ cup scoop and ¼ cup scoop.
    * The other important big idea is to move more. Burn calories and have fun at the same time. Good luck! :flowerforyou:

    Janet: It sounds like you are doing great after surgery. Good news! :bigsmile:


    DS just spent the weekend here working on reassembling his sailboat. I helped and enjoyed it. He's got a lot of it back together and will likely be able to finish up with another day or two of work. He decided to rehab the boat a few years ago and has taken it all the way apart, redone the hull, and is now putting the rigging back. I was happy to be able to "step and fetch" things and also help with reinstalling cleats and winches. He's on his away home, and I'm winding down. It was nice to feel useful. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

    I'm still worrying about DD. She sounded really down in her last phone call. I think I'll try touching bases with her in a few minutes. :heart:


    Katla in Beautiful NW Oregon

    “Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” Thomas A. Edison

    October Goals :
    1. Log every bite and swallow.
    2. Cardio exercise at least 3 days a week. Work on flexibility and back strength.
    3. Have fun every day.
    4. Drink at least three glasses of water daily, preferably more!
    5. Eliminate alcohol.
    6. Monitor sleep. Try to average 7 or more hours of sleep nightly.

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  • jmok01
    jmok01 Posts: 22 Member
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    Greetings!
    Joyce – Glad to hear your hubby is doing better and you enjoyed a celebration of your anniversary, even though it was late.

    Beth & MNMargaret
    – I too experienced weight creep last week. I know what I’m doing wrong (eating too much, eating the wrong foods, moving too little) but struggling to get back on the right track.

    Chris in MA & Allison – thanks for sharing the beautiful scenic pictures.

    Barbie – glad to hear that Jake enjoyed his birthday. Wonderful!

    Taxgirl – lovely wedding pics. You look fabulous!

    Katla – Thanks for the list of tactics that work for you. It’s helpful to see what works for others. Prayers for your DD.

    Janet – glad to hear you are doing so well in your surgery recovery!

    Barbie – your comment “"when in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream, and shout” sounds more familiar than I’d like to admit as I’m struggling to get some things done and goals met. Made some headway this weekend, but think in need to go back and re-read your advice from a week or 2 ago.

    Regarding my goals: Last week I did fairly well with drinking water (missed 2 days), and this weekend I made some headway on my internship paperwork. For the last 2 days I logged every bite. I went over on calories, but I’m eating less that I would have before. So that’s progress in the right direction, even though it is baby steps. Still haven't figured out why my picture won't show with my posts - will try again later this week.

    Thank you all for allowing me to join your group. I look forward to reading your posts each day. Cheers to those with victories, and prayers to those who can use them.

    October Goals:
    • Log every bite
    • Drink at least 6 glasses of water daily
    • Walk 30 minutes a minimum of 3 times a week (I know this is small, but currently I rarely exercise at all)
    • Eliminate alcohol (thank you Katla for inspiring this one)
    • Complete paperwork for MED Internship

    Joyce in SD
    Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. ~Winston Churchill

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  • DamitJanit
    DamitJanit Posts: 1,329 Member
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    Call me crazy but I love to see other people happy and succeeding .

    Good Evening Ladies,

    Sylvia, I love the big gaudy cheap jewelry too. Great NSV!!! I’m guessing you took it off to throw the pots so it wouldn’t end up as decoration in one of them. Have a great day!!! I love the cat box! Thanks for the smile.

    Hope, welcome. This is a great place for support as well as great information from time to time. The name of the forum is Women Ages 50+ but we welcome you youngens as long as ya don’t brag about being the youngest in the group. (JK) The first thing I suggest is that you log everything you eat and drink. Measure and weigh your food and be honest. It’s for you, not us so no need to lie to yourself. Planning your meals and snacks ahead and logging ahead was the first big change I made and it made a huge difference. You can do this and won’t do it overnight, so take baby steps but keep putting one foot in front of the other. Come often. (later) What I do is find the foods and especially veggies that I like that are lower in calories. I eat protein at nearly every meal but add lots of the low calorie veggies to make the meal seem like more. Yes, I’ve had to cut down on things like avocados and beans but I do still eat them. I love chicken so have it often. I usually boil a chicken and debone it to have to put on salads for lunch. Then I have more variety at dinner. Good luck.

    Terri, is your house a duplex? Do both sides have a kitchen and family room or did I read it wrong? Lol You know me! Are you saying DH never helped with the yard work or anything because it was not your house? I just wonder if he will do the needed things once it’s in your name? If you have any trouble, just call and I’ll loan you my whip. DH is really well trained here so I rarely need it anyway. girlpower.gif

    Janetr, woo hoo on your recovery. That is fantastic that the doctor released you so soon. How do you feel? And maybe we need a new picture of that leg??? The last one looked pretty painful. Hell, woman, I don’t think I could do 100 squats and I don’t need a knee replacement. I’m so impressed.

    Beth, I wish I knew how I’ve done it so I could share, but in my more mature years I have come to the point that I don’t stress as much over things I can do nothing about. I mean, what’s the point?? I will certainly say my share of prayers. But when it is a situation that I have no control over and no input in, I don’t spend a lot of time worrying about it. I can’t say the same for DH.  Unfortunately wanting not to stress and doing that are often two different things.

    Mia, congrats on the painless “Big Squeeze” and more so on the 140 pounds. Way to go.

    Carol, welcome. As I read that you are struggling against menopause, I jokingly said to myself, “there is no need to struggle cause ya can’t stop it and ya can’t rush it”. Sorry to hear about your issues but I will tell you that the 60 pounds I’ve lost so far have greatly helped my pain level. And I am able to do so much more that I have for years. I will admit I’d be discouraged if I had only lost 9.2 pounds in 3 months. That may be the rate I’m losing now but when I started it was more than that per month. Are you weighing and measuring your food? Are you logging everything you eat and drink? These things are very important. Come often and you can do this. Just don’t give up.

    Katla, glad you had a good time playing fetch for DS and I'll bet he loved your help. I’m so sorry that DD is having such a hard time and hope it gets better every day.

    Pip, I still can’t believe how much you do right after surgery. Wow wee.

    welcome.gif to any Newbies that I missed. Come often and join in the chat. This thing works!! Please sign your post with what you want to be called. It makes it easier for us to respond to you. Also a location is great, be it specific or general. We are happy to have you join us.

    Ladies, I don’t want you to misunderstand what I was saying about DH’s comment. I haven’t gotten anywhere near skinny. That was just the word that he used. I am wearing mostly mediums in pants and tops. The tops are a touch tighter than I normally wear but the larges are just too big. I have always worn my clothes on the loose side, like it was hiding all that fat.*duh* I think partly because the top fit more like most women wear clothes, it made me look smaller than I had. I still look in the mirror and see me sometimes bigger and sometimes a nice size. I guess that will take a while.

    I hope all of you have a healthy and happy day. rose.gif

    Words I live by:
    Savor. I have to slow down and savor every bite.
    and
    Opportunity. Each day offers new opportunities for good health and happiness if we just look for them and choose them.
    I Love you, smiley-love013.gif
    DJ
    Myrtle Beach, SC
  • jmkmomm
    jmkmomm Posts: 3,247 Member
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    DJ, we have seen your picture, and you look skinny.

    janetr, congrats on being released by doctor and almost released by therapist but don't take advantage of that and over do it.

    Had a long conversation with my brother's oldest son. He is the one who used to be on drugs and all sorts of other bad habits and has 3 children by a very emotionally unsteady young woman. He says according to Alabama laws as long as they have been filing joint tax forms and have been referring to themselves as husband and wife for the four years they have been together that in the eyes of the state, they are married. so she is now asking for a divorce and is already hooked up with another guy and bragging that she is pregnant by him. Well she has the 3 kids and is staying with multiple people each week. So my nephew gently asked her if it was OK if he asked for temporary custody of the kids until she got a stable job, car and an apartment, got on her feet. She went on her huge tirades she is famous for, threw things at him, made the kids scream as in they were scared. So he is really in a spot. Trying to work full time, go to college, be a Dad for his kids when he has them and deal with the mess this woman has thrown in his lap. I gave him suggestions, family childrens services, lawyer, police, do what he can so she doesn't run off with the kids and take them out of state. The kids are 4,3 and 1.

    I got my doctor's appointment with my doctor's nurse practitioner while Charlie will be in the waiting phase of sitting in the doctor's office and the nurses will coordinate whether I need to leave the NP to go to the doctor and then go back to the NP. But I really need to be seen and I really want to be with him when he sees Dr. Crawford. I know some wives don't but I do. I don't know if it's a control freak or the nurse in me or what.

    Joyce, Indiana
  • TerriRichardson112
    TerriRichardson112 Posts: 18,387 Member
    edited October 2015
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    bwcetc wrote: »
    Barbie ... I've been thinking about your response to "don't stress." You said that instead you identify the problem and formulate a plan of action. What do you do when there is no plan of action ... When there is nothing to do? When we are literally helpless to affect change, how do we not stress? Especially when it involves people we love and care about?

    Beth

    I have yet to meet a situation where I felt that nothing could be done. Sometimes, we have to accept that we can't change things, but we can change how we view them. It's very difficult at times, and, occasionally, I have just had to walk away, for my own good. But even that is effecting a change. However, there is usually some small thing that can be done. We just have to find it.

    Grits I'm with you on the wills. It's much better to have it all sorted, as it can be very contentious otherwise. We had our wills done when we got married and then redone after our children were born. We are doing our best to 'SKI' our way through our savings now that we are approaching our 70s. (SKI - Spending Kids Inheritance) You can't take it with you!

    Janetr I agree with you on the weight loss helping in recovery. I know I wouldn't have had such a speedy recovery without doing all the work over the summer to build up muscles before my hip op.

    I have my final assessments on my hip this afternoon, but have been almost back to normal for weeks now. It's so good to be able to drive again and be off all the meds. We are off to Spain for a long weekend of wine-tasting on Friday.

    Off out to my Craft Group at 10.30 this morning. I am back to all my leisure activities now so have less time to comment but I'm trying valiantly to keep up with the posts.

    (((Hugs))) if you need them.
    Welcome to our Newbies. Come back often for advice, support and motivation.
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    Irish Terri

  • exermom
    exermom Posts: 6,395 Member
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    Welcome everyone new!

    pip - back to oatmeal, huh?

    hopeblossom - log every bit and you can review your menu and see where the majority of your calories are coming from. Then you can probably make substitutions

    Terri in Milwaukee - good luck to your grandma. Ain't medicine wonderful?


    My sinuses are acting up (totally normal for this time of year) so I took a Sudafed so here I sit

    hopeblossom - can you have like 1/2 an avacado? Sometimes it feels good to have the taste of what you need in your mouth but many times you don't need as much. I've also found that starting my meal with something on the sour side, like a salad with just vinegar on it, helps to quench my appetite somewhat

    Joyce - I felt like a real fool once, too. Went to Verizon because MFP wasn't working. Seems it needed an update. They're used to people like us.

    One year for Christmas each of my kids got something "from grandma". Jess got this candle set, Denise got a ring, and Bryan got a rolling pin.

    janetr - boy, you're recovering nicely. Bet that feels good

    Beth - thanks for the sites. I've added them to my "favorites". Good for you helping your husband!

    Mia - last time I went for my boob squeeze, it didn't seem to hurt as much. I'm thinking that it had something to do with the machine that was used.

    Joyce - I feel for your nephew! That must be horrible

    Michele from NC
  • klanders30
    klanders30 Posts: 2,569 Member
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    Mornin folks, i dont post often but read everyday, i think just knowing that you are all working on your health while dealing with life makes me feel like i am not alone in this, which is probably how i felt the last 5 years i put on this perimenopausal weight--who am i kidding, 17 years ago i used to call it pregnancy weight!
    I have to say ditto for all the great tips on feeling better and getting healthy--yeah menopause kicked my butt, and then it subsided, yeah my knees hurt, i just keep changing my orthodic inserts more regularly and when i cant speed up to a short run, i jog, if i cant do that i walk, if i cant go far i go a little ways . The point is for me, it isnt about the scale number or the clothing size, though it can be pleasant when it is shrinking, this is mostly about taking care of me, just me, i have been so blessed and i was really taking that for granted by my sedentary life full of just eating til it hurt......the medicine chest was starting to get crowded and i woke up....there are alternatives, so i started making some in my favor. This forum is full of super wise women, keep reading Hopeblossom! Keep logging,it works! Karen from ny
  • shoileyr
    shoileyr Posts: 11 Member
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    Hello. Looking for motivation and thought a group might help. The weight keeps creeping the wrong direction this past year. Just had thanksgiving in Canada which means over eating. Oops. I have 2 teenaged boys who can eat anything pretty much because they are so active - so there are always too many tempting snacks around. I like all your positive messages I am reading.
    Thanks
  • bwcetc
    bwcetc Posts: 2,779 Member
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    Barbie ... DJ ... Irish Terri ... Wise advice ladies. Thank you.

    Beth
  • margaretturk
    margaretturk Posts: 5,096 Member
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    Lenora yes a will is important. Here in Minnesota a will does not keep an estate out of probate. A trust does. Setting up a trust does cost more than a will. Probate can cost your estate thousands. If you own property in two or more states a trust is also the way to go. Your estate will go into probate in both states. When we set ours up the lawyer said 70% do nothing and their estates go into probate and can have all sorts of problems.

    Working again today.

    :heart: MNMargaret
  • grandmallie
    grandmallie Posts: 9,812 Member
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    a quick good morning,
    was up at 2:30 this morning, read for a bit, got up did laundry and messed around on the computer, went out to feed DFIL, im getting peeved with administrators down there.. they are out buying new cars and cutting down on staff, and it is just a mess.. thinking of writing a letter and telling them if they treated the residents as well as they treated themselves they would have have things golden...
    there are still a few good places out there ,you just have to find them..
    well off to work... my long day 9-6
    ta ta for now <3
  • miriamwithcats
    miriamwithcats Posts: 1,120 Member
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    NSV- all my leggings/ knit crop pants (size 20) were falling off, so I had to go buy a couple of pairs of leggings in size 16-18! My jeans are also falling off, but I can't afford to replace them yet so I just belt them.

    As for gluten free baked goods... when I compared the price and calorie count to the taste, it just was not worth it for me. I just don't eat baked goods much anymore. Occasionally the Udi double chocolate muffins, which are sold frozen so I only thaw one, will fill the urge for a brownie. The breads are awful- dry and crumbly and tasteless. Same for any of the pizzas I have tried.

  • GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS
    GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS Posts: 2,573 Member
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    In GA, if you die without a Will and have children, grandchildren, they HAVE to advertise for 4 consecutive weeks in the local newspaper to make sure nobody else can hold claim to whatever it is they are selling to close out the estate, such as getting the title to property (land, house, vehicle, stuff like that) transferred over to someone so they can get title to it in their name, ergo getting an Administrator appointed (usually a family member, sometimes a court official). I think that sometimes even siblings are brought into the 'fray'. I know they are if the person has no children or grandchildren. In a Will the Executor does it according to the Will; and, if there is a disagreement, they will usually liquidate the asset and divide the money in however many shares would be in it. One person can buy out the others for whatever is considered a 'fair market value' of the object. You don't have to go through a long drawn out probate process if there 'is' a Will; just if there isn't. I still 'think' that the Will has to be filed with the court; I know it does in Florida. But, my husband did not file his mother's Will because his "D" has already taken everything of value. Because she had prepared (from the Internet) a POA that gave her carte blanc over his Mother's finances - they got 'screwed'. All they (him and his brother) got was about a total of $3,500 out of an estate worth probably between $250,000 and $300,000. Then greedy daughter just shut them out of her life and that of his granddaughter's. Her husband was a 'likeable' person; but, no telling what she told him about why she and her Daddy never spoke to one another after his mother's death. Her loss, not his (too much); but trying to 'fight' about it would only mean there would 'never' be a possibility of a reconciliation; although I doubt there'll be one anyway. If there was he'd be like an uncle to his own granddaughter, just as he was to his daughter (because of the divorce) and her mother moving out to New Orleans to be with her 'lover'. It is always sad when children are used as 'pawns' in a game of 'who or when one will get to see the child(ren). Because of our age difference, I was really more of a 'sister' figure to her - the first time she referred to me as her "Daddy's wife"; I felt like we had made a lot of progress. Better than being referred to as 'her'. LOL!

    I was about to ask terri-mom if their house was a duplex that had a door opened between them. One of DH's aunts and uncles had a huge house when their 5 children were growing up and then they added an 'in-law' portion on to it although I think the kitchen is shared. They have their own bedroom, bath and sitting area; so if they ever sold it, it could be sold as a 6 bedroom house; or as a 'mother/father-in-law' addition. They had a huge yard with a pool and this addition was built off the end/side of the kitchen.

    Cute puppy picture. At 4 month he is a lot bigger than "Cracker" is and apparently will be a much bigger adult dog. Cracker either comes home today or tomorrow, depending on the time of her spaying. Got to go buy a kennel and carrier, a brush, and some spray for 'if' she has an accident in the house. I probably need to buy a baby gate to keep her in the utility room area so she can't get to the rest of the house and mess up our carpet; once she is house-broken then she can come into the rest of the house. I'm going to spend a lot of time training her to be a 'good' puppy/dog so that we will enjoy her. As long as she stays 'off' the furniture I won't mind her being inside. Might eventually get her an extra bed so that she will have a place to lay down in the great room over by the bookcase and beside my chair.
  • GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS
    GRITSandSLUTSandWINOS Posts: 2,573 Member
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    Miriamwithcats - yesterday I bought my first size "Medium" in a pair of yoga pants and a sweater! YEAH! The slacks I had on yesterday were so large they looked like someone had moved out of them; 4 months ago I could not even pull them together to button them and they were size 14's. My belly is now beginning to go down; not as big as it once was. Glad that I don't look and feel like a pregnant woman at the age or 64. Can also bend over and put my own shoes on and buckle or tie them as well.
  • Lilymay2
    Lilymay2 Posts: 2,524 Member
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    Morning everyone

    So my 10 days off - mini goals and long list of things to get done is sort of going to plan. 10,000 steps each day - umm :/ 4 days in and only one over 10,000.... "To Do" list - finished canning tomatoes and just have to put the second coat of paint on the new downstairs bathroom.
    I think these days of walking all over my house doing my housecleaning and getting food ready is really hard on my legs...even though I wear my walking shoes in the house. So today - I am going to go outside and walk my dog to get the majority of my miles in and then sit at my desk and get some bookkeeping done, and I have to put the second coat of paint on the downstairs bathroom.

    I shouldn't have to do any cooking because there are leftovers from the turkey dinner last night.

    Have a good everyone

    Lillian in West Central Saskatchewan
  • lhannon062709
    lhannon062709 Posts: 1,140 Member
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    Morning, afternoon and evening, all...

    Going to go in this morning and take the "now" pictures of the warehouse this morning before I go to the restaurant, as my husband and I hired someone we trust to paint the place. It will cost $2,500 for labor and materials, and worth every penny. I hope. It's so weird to be in a place where we can actually pay someone else to do something for us. It's a business expense, and will hopefully drop the insurance to the point where it will pay for itself over the next couple years while we're putting away money to put up siding.

    The restaurant did not have a good weekend, but hopefully all hackles were smoothed yesterday. This guy has to sink or swim on his own. He's already dismissing procedures that I worked really hard to establish, and that's unacceptable to the GM, which is why I was in a meeting for two hours yesterday listening to people get cranky with the guy. I can honestly write procedures until my eyes bleed, but if he won't follow them or enforce them, I can't make him.

    Oddly enough, not terribly stressed about it--the big man himself, Mr. Mitchell, is flying in tomorrow, which is making the GM quite twitchy, but I know the answer I will give if the question gets asked. Do I believe this guy can get the restaurant in the black? I don't think anyone else in town could, so I believe he has the best chance of anyone to get it to the black (not profitable, just not losing money every single day) by the end of this year.

    Do I believe that he will? Not if he continues on his current path. That is pretty much my assessment. He does not hear correction and will not pay attention to the asks from the owners. And that will get him fired, in the end, as they won't tolerate it for long. I won't stay after my contract is over. I will never be able to work at night, it's not who I am anymore. And this restaurant needs someone who works at night.

    I'm 55, not 35, and I love being home with my husband. We have things we need to do, I've fulfilled my mandate, and now it's in this guy's hands. Done and dusted in my opinion.

    I'll eke out the rest of the week, but I will say "sayonara" on Friday.

    No weight loss so far these two weeks--wonder why? Ha!

    Lisa in West Texas
  • janetr7476
    janetr7476 Posts: 4,001 Member
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    miakoda40 wrote: »
    Had a mammogram today. This is the first time I have had a mammogram that did not hurt!! Think the loss of 140 lbs had something to do with that?

    Yes, Mia, I would suspect so. You are truly awesome.

    Janetr OKC

  • pipcd34
    pipcd34 Posts: 16,723 Member
    edited October 2015
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    morning peeps-

    first day of my new routine. got up at the usual time 4:3ish am with kirby and when he left to go ride to work, i got on the spin bike at home. last nite i figured out what i was going to wear this morning and took it downstairs into the bathroom so it could all be there for me after i finished working out. took a shower, while i was in there, did my 3 sets of 10 of the 2 arm exercises that he told me to do. i even had time to dry my hair, put a little war paint on (what you females call make-up) and even took a wack at straightening out my hair with one hand! didn't do too shabby. had time to eat here at home and get the coffee ready for tomorrow morning. kirby had already made me a cup (does every morning) so i just popped it in the microwave. now just skimming thru the posts and loving the puppy pics and reading about the weight loss and need for smaller pants!! believe it or not, i'm kinda still not used to the thought of me wearing size small.

    have a good one and type to ya later!

    8l72fn4a07yx.jpg

    yogi, bullwinkle n floyd, from left to right

    exermom - i am back to oatmeal cuz i gotta bag here at home :0)