My son called me fat.
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Of_Monsters_and_Meat wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »AdrianChr92 wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »brandnew222 wrote: »You americans are really afraid of getting hurt by the truth... Not talking about your son, but if someone is fat why can't people say "you're fat"?
Talking about your son, he was just angry.
Because it's rude? I don't get why people seem to be advocating a lessening of manners here. Just because someone is fat doesn't mean it's ok to tell them that - pro-tip - they probably know already.
Is it rude to state a fact? It's rude to tell someone that is retarded that they are retarded. It's rude to laugh at someone who lost both legs. It's not rude to call someone fat because they chose to be that way.
What's the point? Why would you want to tell someone they're fat, unless to get a reaction? You don't know why they're fat, and it's none of your business, and none of your business to go 'telling' them either.
I'm really bemused by the lack of basic manners.
I just wanted to comment. You always know why someone is fat. A person consumes more calories than they "burn" over a period of time. There is physically no other way.
Yes that's true. Does that mean they deserve rudeness and mean comments?0 -
susan100df wrote: »Of_Monsters_and_Meat wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »AdrianChr92 wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »brandnew222 wrote: »You americans are really afraid of getting hurt by the truth... Not talking about your son, but if someone is fat why can't people say "you're fat"?
Talking about your son, he was just angry.
Because it's rude? I don't get why people seem to be advocating a lessening of manners here. Just because someone is fat doesn't mean it's ok to tell them that - pro-tip - they probably know already.
Is it rude to state a fact? It's rude to tell someone that is retarded that they are retarded. It's rude to laugh at someone who lost both legs. It's not rude to call someone fat because they chose to be that way.
What's the point? Why would you want to tell someone they're fat, unless to get a reaction? You don't know why they're fat, and it's none of your business, and none of your business to go 'telling' them either.
I'm really bemused by the lack of basic manners.
I just wanted to comment. You always know why someone is fat. A person consumes more calories than they "burn" over a period of time. There is physically no other way.
Yes that's true. Does that mean they deserve rudeness and mean comments?
Of course not.
I'm not sure why you are implying that OP's child is rude and mean. He called her fat, not a monster. Please save your judgment for adults.0 -
I completely get the "he knows that I'm fat" thing. I have been waiting for my young children to talk to me about my weight the way that kids talked about it to me when I was in grade school. So far, it hasn't happened.
I don't know what the magic answer is to getting 'it'. I struggle with that too. But part of it, for me, is just being pissed off at the state of my health because of what I put in my mouth. And part of it is accepting that food served a purpose for me in my past, but that is over now, and it's time to move forward. Now is now and this is not my best life. Don't give up. You will get there.0 -
Also, focus on finding "it' for a while. Put your energy into that. It will serve you in the long run.
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Of_Monsters_and_Meat wrote: »susan100df wrote: »Of_Monsters_and_Meat wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »AdrianChr92 wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »brandnew222 wrote: »You americans are really afraid of getting hurt by the truth... Not talking about your son, but if someone is fat why can't people say "you're fat"?
Talking about your son, he was just angry.
Because it's rude? I don't get why people seem to be advocating a lessening of manners here. Just because someone is fat doesn't mean it's ok to tell them that - pro-tip - they probably know already.
Is it rude to state a fact? It's rude to tell someone that is retarded that they are retarded. It's rude to laugh at someone who lost both legs. It's not rude to call someone fat because they chose to be that way.
What's the point? Why would you want to tell someone they're fat, unless to get a reaction? You don't know why they're fat, and it's none of your business, and none of your business to go 'telling' them either.
I'm really bemused by the lack of basic manners.
I just wanted to comment. You always know why someone is fat. A person consumes more calories than they "burn" over a period of time. There is physically no other way.
Yes that's true. Does that mean they deserve rudeness and mean comments?
Of course not.
I'm not sure why you are implying that OP's child is rude and mean. He called her fat, not a monster. Please save your judgment for adults.
Of course I don't think her son was being mean to her. Some of the comments on this thread are implying that it's perfectly fine to be mean to fat people because they are just telling the truth.0 -
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My youngest(8) has called me fat at least twice. Once was in the check out of a grocery store when he was probably between 5-6. I was so embarrassed and the clerk and bagger were looking at me. I thought I'd burst into tears right there. I told him that it was not ok to call people fat, especially me and that it hurt my feelings. The second time was just the other day. I looked at him and told him again that it wasn't ok to say that because it hurts peoples feelings. I know he didn't say it to hurt me, but I wanted him to know it wasn't alright.0
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My son calls me chubby but he knows I am trying to lose weight and he looks at it like mom don't I like you chubby your comfy that way like a pillow!!! I love my child of course and thats why I am losing weight because I want to show him a healthier way to live and not have to deal with get big like I was and want him to see it's so much better to be healthy to not for health reasons alone, yes you can have the occasional treats but try to eat healthy more than the treats to keep yourself in good health!!! I have friend that just started trying to lose weight and her first step was calorie counting and she already lost 5 pounds!!! I was told 30 minutes a day of exercise that isnt your daily routine is all you really need whether you just go walking and the next day you walk faster and just keep speeding up everyday!!! Also always always remember you will slip on days but don't put yourself down it happens even to the best of us!!! Have one day a week were you can have junk food but of course moderations!!! I have a saturday or sunday free day I call it were I will enjoy one of my favourite snacks!!! Yes it is hard but you need people to stand behind you on this journey cheering you on offering advice!!! You can do this and don't be to harsh on yourself baby steps all the way through!!!!
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First of all, I am sorry that your son UNINTENTIONALLY hurt your feelings. He is definitely not a bully. He was upset and angry and may not know the right or wrong ways to express those emotions yet. I am assuming he is around other kids and may have heard the words before, or even from TV. To call a 5 year old a bully is pushing it a little too far. I am sure you did your motherly duties and explained to him why that hurt your feelings and the correct way to express his feelings without putting others down.
Also, the fact that you are care and are aware of your weight and what you're doing wrong is the first step to fixing the problem. You were brave enough to post this and as long as you keep trying you are not a failure. Regardless of if you keep slipping up the good thing is you are making an effort every morning to start fresh. Eventually with some willpower that will turn into a full day of eating right, then a week, then a month. It will happen. You just have to keep trying!0 -
My son told me as a matter of fact while we are just talking and having fun....mommy do you know why you have a big tummy? If there is no baby in its because you eat to much food. You know what he is 100% right.
This was not my trigger. I was already on that journey and partly for him so he grows in an environment with energetic parents and he can love physical activity and enjoy healthy eating but first I do it for me. I tried and failed miserably before when I did it for other people. Love yourself enough. Prioritize yourself. Do it for you. Being a good model for your son will be an extra bonus. But there is no way you can do it if you don't put yourself first on top of your priority list and you will do that if you can achieve self love.
If you are the priority you will not skip a workout to do laundry dishes or whatever. If you are the priority you will not compromise what you are eating to fit the others desire.0 -
Agreed, that would be the case for me too.Carlos_421 wrote: »
OP, if you're ready mentally to lose the weight you will find a way to make it happen.
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JustSomeEm wrote: »
Hey folks - we've been getting reports about this discussion so I'd like to remind you of the following:
****Parenting? We don't all do it the same, and we all have strong opinions regarding what is and is not appropriate parenting. Divisive topics often lead to the following, all of which I have seen in this thread:15. Divisive Topics Are Better Suited For Groups, Not the Main Forums
Divisive topics and posts, particularly those that seek input from or are relevant only to a select group of users, are better placed within an appropriate Group rather than the Main Forums. For example, topics relevant to only one religion should not be placed on the main forums but rather within a group related to that religion.6. No Intentionally Hurtful Posts
Topics or posts which are started with the intent to belittle others, either directly named or through enough descriptive commentary to be possibly identified, are prohibited. This includes stalking a poster through the forums, posting about past events gone sour, divulging personal information, or spreading gossip or rumors. At our discretion, any post referring to the behavior or posts of other users of the site will be removed.1. No Attacks or Insults and No Reciprocation
a) Do not attack, mock, or otherwise insult others. You can respectfully disagree with the message or topic, but you cannot attack the messenger. This includes attacks against the user’s spelling or command of written English, or belittling a user for posting a duplicate topic.
b) If you are attacked by another user, and you reciprocate, you will also be subject to the same consequences. Defending yourself or a friend is not an excuse! Do not take matters into your own hands – instead, use the Report Post link to report an attack and we will be happy to handle the situation for you.2. No Hi-Jacking, Trolling, or Flame-baiting
Please stay on-topic in an existing thread, and post new threads in the appropriate forum. Taking a thread off-topic is considered hi-jacking. Please either contribute politely and constructively to a topic, or move on without posting. This includes posts that encourage the drama in a topic to escalate, or posts intended to incite an uproar from the community.
No one's parenting is or should be at issue here, as this is a fitness site not a parenting site. Please keep the focus ON the OPs fitness issue and off of the parenting hot-topic. If parenting continues to be an issue in this discussion, it will likely be closed.
I leave you with a wish that we can all get along as well as my pooches:
See?
Anyway, happy Friday Eve. And may the odds be ever in your favor.
Cheers
Since the request to stop discussing parenting and stay on the topic of fitness went unheeded, this discussion has been closed.0
This discussion has been closed.
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