Is that THE ONLY thing he wants from me?

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  • rubyrenga
    rubyrenga Posts: 402 Member
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    I agree that he may be over the top with being sexual all the time, or trying to be, but I disagree with the others who say to write him off. My biggest piece of advice would be not to give it up to him anytime soon. I think that it could work if you hold out. I know, holding out for the sake of the game alone is game playing, but the fact is that we all know it won't last if you jump into sex quickly, at least 90% of the time. So, my point is that he doesn't sound like a bad guy, just horny. Stick to your guns and make him wait, and see where things go. Worst case scenario, you may end up a little hurt, but you'll have had a great time going on dates with this guy. No harm, no foul.
  • spicy618
    spicy618 Posts: 2,114 Member
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    Thanks to you all for your honest opinions :flowerforyou:

    Judging by these responses alone.... Majority rules. :laugh:

    I guess I already knew the answer but was wishing it wasn't the truth. I really do like his style, but a few minutes of comfort isn't worth the months of "beating myself up" if he doesn't want the same thing I do. I'm going to let him know once again in a more direct way that I want more than sex and am not giving in until I have taken the time to Know him much better.

    Thanks Guys and Gals :flowerforyou:
  • JDMPWR
    JDMPWR Posts: 1,863 Member
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    From a dude, about a dude.

    He is about one thing, not saying that is the ONLY thing he is about but he is a sexual creature/being, that we can tell. A player he is not because a player builds comfort with all women and he is not doing so otherwise you would not even be asking this question so with that action it makes me thikg he is just out their to get into your pants and then move on.

    Secondly any woman or man should know that this dude spells it out on big words, and those words are NEEDY, for what who knows.

    IMO drop the dude as he is on a mission.

    I can tell you how I know this if you want....
  • spicy618
    spicy618 Posts: 2,114 Member
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    OMG! You guys are hilarious with some of your responses.... LOL!!!!


    Love it!
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    Just because you meet someone in a club, does NOT mean the relationship's not going to last... I met my husband in a club and we've been together for nearly 14 years now. One of my friends also met her guy in a club and they've been together for about 10 years. Granted, most of the time it's a hook-up spot but as long as you set boundaries and the guy's willing to stick around, it can work...

    Which brings me to my next point. Yes, it seems like he's all about getting into bed with you but at the same time he sounds like he may have some potential. Give him one more chance, be really honest and straightforward (guys don't get subtleties) about your wanting to wait. If he gets it and thinks you're worth it, he'll back off. If he doesn't, it's time to say buh-bye.
  • Danthewatcher
    Danthewatcher Posts: 101
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    Am i the only MAN to answer this, i might be breaking some sort of Bro-code

    :laugh:
    I was thinking the same thing...

    Spicy is it?
    If he's talking about sex constantly, groping you after a week, the percentage rate is pretty high that he's thinking "hit" (your words)...
    As far as the "run" goes, it's impossible to know unless you're him....and much of that depends on your respective goals within this.
    Who knows, maybe as you get to know him, you run...

    Here's a question for you to ponder...what are you looking for out of this?
    The FINE *kitten* man strikes you as potential?
    Potential for what? (It's rhetorical...)

    Good luck.
  • spicy618
    spicy618 Posts: 2,114 Member
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    From a dude, about a dude.

    He is about one thing, not saying that is the ONLY thing he is about but he is a sexual creature/being, that we can tell. A player he is not because a player builds comfort with all women and he is not doing so otherwise you would not even be asking this question so with that action it makes me thikg he is just out their to get into your pants and then move on.

    Secondly any woman or man should know that this dude spells it out on big words, and those words are NEEDY, for what who knows.

    IMO drop the dude as he is on a mission.

    I can tell you how I know this if you want....

    Do tell... :smile:
  • bouldert
    bouldert Posts: 225 Member
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    walk away ,you already have different views and desires ,i can only see arguments in the future
  • SoFLYFireman
    SoFLYFireman Posts: 170 Member
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    Drop him quick.. Guys sometimes know what to say and do to get to that point (or think so anyways) theyll be anybody and everyone that you want them to be. Its not hard to act like a sweetheart, Ive seen so many *kitten* make girls believe that theyre amazing.

    Most importantly though, its your body and your emotions, youre not a *kitten* and thats a really attractive thing that you dont just put out. If he cant respect that, he doesnt deserve you. A sincere guy wont push limits, je'll know you mean it and respect you and just get to know you

    This guy wants a hit it and quit it.. Imo
  • spicy618
    spicy618 Posts: 2,114 Member
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    Am i the only MAN to answer this, i might be breaking some sort of Bro-code

    :laugh:
    I was thinking the same thing...

    Spicy is it?
    If he's talking about sex constantly, groping you after a week, the percentage rate is pretty high that he's thinking "hit" (your words)...
    As far as the "run" goes, it's impossible to know unless you're him....and much of that depends on your respective goals within this.
    Who knows, maybe as you get to know him, you run...

    Here's a question for you to ponder...what are you looking for out of this?
    The FINE *kitten* man strikes you as potential?
    Potential for what? (It's rhetorical...)

    Good luck.

    Thanks Dan for you kind response.

    I'm looking to meet someone who, like me, wants to find their Best Friend.... Corny I know, but it's the simplest way to say it.
  • Angela4Health
    Angela4Health Posts: 1,319 Member
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    It's pretty natural human nature to want to be intimate with someone we are attracted to. Obviously he wants to be intimate but that doesn't mean that's ALL he wants. You have to figure it out for yourself. All these women jumping on here saying he's a pig, but in reality, I bet many of them have had similar feelings towards another guy and just didn't say it out loud. Give it a chance (no not sex, but hanging out, getting to know him) and take it as slow as you want. If he's really after only one thing he won't stick around for long.
  • Angela4Health
    Angela4Health Posts: 1,319 Member
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    It's pretty natural human nature to want to be intimate with someone we are attracted to. Obviously he wants to be intimate but that doesn't mean that's ALL he wants. You have to figure it out for yourself. All these women jumping on here saying he's a pig, but in reality, I bet many of them have had similar feelings towards another guy and just didn't say it out loud. Give it a chance (no not sex, but hanging out, getting to know him) and take it as slow as you want. If he's really after only one thing he won't stick around for long.
  • amelia_atlantic
    amelia_atlantic Posts: 926 Member
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    If you have to ask, you already know.

    Be honest with yourself and what you expect from any dude. Sitting and regretting an experience because you didn't trust your gut is one of the worst things.

    You are the prize and he has to run the course to get it!
  • Danthewatcher
    Danthewatcher Posts: 101
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    Thanks Dan for you kind response.

    I'm looking to meet someone who, like me, wants to find their Best Friend.... Corny I know, but it's the simplest way to say it.

    Ain't nothing corny about it...it's what most of us are searching for.
    I haven't found it either.
    Compromise is more likely to get you to settle.
    Don't settle Spicy.

    And clearly, within a week, after you made it clear to him, he crossed the line.
    Best friends, above all else respect you and all you stand for...including your boundaries.

    Sincerely, good luck.
  • kimber607
    kimber607 Posts: 7,128 Member
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    I don't think it matters that u met him at a club, but every conversation turning into something sexual would be a big turn OFF for me
    yes we know all guys want to score asap...but pretend to try and get to know us first!
    seriously, if u like him that much maybe mention to him that it bothers you.... and see how he reacts or cut him off all together....only u can decide
    maybe he really thinks he is being cute or funny and showing that he likes you.....may just be a difference in personality


    good luck, Kim
  • smpearce13
    smpearce13 Posts: 32 Member
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    I work security 2-3 nights a week at a club in Scottsdale, so I watch stuff like this happen alot. That same guy will be at the club the next weekend working it again.

    On the other hand, he's being slightly different as you are meeting some of his friends and family. Even when I am dating someone, they don't meet family for awhile (never been big on one nighters or short term flings, but they would never meet my family!) Tough call.

    As a guy, I can vouch for being a sexual being. If you are spending quite a bit of time with him, and seem to be getting along great, it's not hard to want to go to the next level (my wife and I met and slept together in about 4 days after meeting...just hit our 8 year anniversary last week).

    Go with your gut feeling. How did he react when you said you weren't ready to sleep with him? I think alot would depend on that reaction. If you hear less from him, then he just wanted to hit it. If you still chat and he wants to hang out after that, unless he's a master player, he might be interested in more than just sex.
  • djkymba
    djkymba Posts: 174
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    I'm going to be the one who goes against the grain here and say if he invited you over to an event that his family was at, I don't think it's just a one night stand he's looking for.

    FACT: almost all guys think about sex almost all the time.

    If all he was looking for is a booty call, why entertain your friend? Why invite you around his fam?

    If a "fine *kitten* man," who apparently isn't poor, if he was partying in the VIP section of the club, is looking for a hook up, he's going to find it.
  • spicy618
    spicy618 Posts: 2,114 Member
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    I work security 2-3 nights a week at a club in Scottsdale, so I watch stuff like this happen alot. That same guy will be at the club the next weekend working it again.

    On the other hand, he's being slightly different as you are meeting some of his friends and family. Even when I am dating someone, they don't meet family for awhile (never been big on one nighters or short term flings, but they would never meet my family!) Tough call.

    As a guy, I can vouch for being a sexual being. If you are spending quite a bit of time with him, and seem to be getting along great, it's not hard to want to go to the next level (my wife and I met and slept together in about 4 days after meeting...just hit our 8 year anniversary last week).

    Go with your gut feeling. How did he react when you said you weren't ready to sleep with him? I think alot would depend on that reaction. If you hear less from him, then he just wanted to hit it. If you still chat and he wants to hang out after that, unless he's a master player, he might be interested in more than just sex.


    He said "I won't be mad". When I mentioned before that I'm not the "One night stand" type and have never been, he said. "I have alot of patience, hope you have alot of control". He's a Scorpio if that makes any difference (no, astrology isn't my religion...lol).

    Thanks for taking the time to respond :flowerforyou:
  • spicy618
    spicy618 Posts: 2,114 Member
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    Well guys, I'm logging off for today.

    Have my next job to get to.

    Just wanted to Thank you all again for your quick responses. It really helps to hear opinions from people who don't have a reason to lie. :flowerforyou:

    Hope this thread helped someone else who may be going through something similar.

    When he calls to ask me over tonight, I will have THE TALK... :laugh:

    I will come back and let you all know what happens.

    BTW, I got a few Friend Requests from this topic.... I've accpeted your friendship but didn't send a note, sorry gotta run. :flowerforyou:

    Have a Great Day MFPers!
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
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    Guarantee this is what he's our for. If he's talking about it that soon and is that forward, then yes he is.
    I'd suggest making a u turn.
    As a guy sex is on the mind all the time, but it doesn't mean that's all men want. From the way you described it, it sounds like he's trying to get you to lower your defenses by inviting you over to meet his family etc. This sounds like a classic play.


    I will give him this, he does have good taste.

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