Is that THE ONLY thing he wants from me?

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Replies

  • Angela4Health
    Angela4Health Posts: 1,319 Member
    It's pretty natural human nature to want to be intimate with someone we are attracted to. Obviously he wants to be intimate but that doesn't mean that's ALL he wants. You have to figure it out for yourself. All these women jumping on here saying he's a pig, but in reality, I bet many of them have had similar feelings towards another guy and just didn't say it out loud. Give it a chance (no not sex, but hanging out, getting to know him) and take it as slow as you want. If he's really after only one thing he won't stick around for long.
  • Angela4Health
    Angela4Health Posts: 1,319 Member
    It's pretty natural human nature to want to be intimate with someone we are attracted to. Obviously he wants to be intimate but that doesn't mean that's ALL he wants. You have to figure it out for yourself. All these women jumping on here saying he's a pig, but in reality, I bet many of them have had similar feelings towards another guy and just didn't say it out loud. Give it a chance (no not sex, but hanging out, getting to know him) and take it as slow as you want. If he's really after only one thing he won't stick around for long.
  • amelia_atlantic
    amelia_atlantic Posts: 926 Member
    If you have to ask, you already know.

    Be honest with yourself and what you expect from any dude. Sitting and regretting an experience because you didn't trust your gut is one of the worst things.

    You are the prize and he has to run the course to get it!
  • Thanks Dan for you kind response.

    I'm looking to meet someone who, like me, wants to find their Best Friend.... Corny I know, but it's the simplest way to say it.

    Ain't nothing corny about it...it's what most of us are searching for.
    I haven't found it either.
    Compromise is more likely to get you to settle.
    Don't settle Spicy.

    And clearly, within a week, after you made it clear to him, he crossed the line.
    Best friends, above all else respect you and all you stand for...including your boundaries.

    Sincerely, good luck.
  • kimber607
    kimber607 Posts: 7,128 Member
    I don't think it matters that u met him at a club, but every conversation turning into something sexual would be a big turn OFF for me
    yes we know all guys want to score asap...but pretend to try and get to know us first!
    seriously, if u like him that much maybe mention to him that it bothers you.... and see how he reacts or cut him off all together....only u can decide
    maybe he really thinks he is being cute or funny and showing that he likes you.....may just be a difference in personality


    good luck, Kim
  • smpearce13
    smpearce13 Posts: 32 Member
    I work security 2-3 nights a week at a club in Scottsdale, so I watch stuff like this happen alot. That same guy will be at the club the next weekend working it again.

    On the other hand, he's being slightly different as you are meeting some of his friends and family. Even when I am dating someone, they don't meet family for awhile (never been big on one nighters or short term flings, but they would never meet my family!) Tough call.

    As a guy, I can vouch for being a sexual being. If you are spending quite a bit of time with him, and seem to be getting along great, it's not hard to want to go to the next level (my wife and I met and slept together in about 4 days after meeting...just hit our 8 year anniversary last week).

    Go with your gut feeling. How did he react when you said you weren't ready to sleep with him? I think alot would depend on that reaction. If you hear less from him, then he just wanted to hit it. If you still chat and he wants to hang out after that, unless he's a master player, he might be interested in more than just sex.
  • djkymba
    djkymba Posts: 174
    I'm going to be the one who goes against the grain here and say if he invited you over to an event that his family was at, I don't think it's just a one night stand he's looking for.

    FACT: almost all guys think about sex almost all the time.

    If all he was looking for is a booty call, why entertain your friend? Why invite you around his fam?

    If a "fine *kitten* man," who apparently isn't poor, if he was partying in the VIP section of the club, is looking for a hook up, he's going to find it.
  • spicy618
    spicy618 Posts: 2,114 Member
    I work security 2-3 nights a week at a club in Scottsdale, so I watch stuff like this happen alot. That same guy will be at the club the next weekend working it again.

    On the other hand, he's being slightly different as you are meeting some of his friends and family. Even when I am dating someone, they don't meet family for awhile (never been big on one nighters or short term flings, but they would never meet my family!) Tough call.

    As a guy, I can vouch for being a sexual being. If you are spending quite a bit of time with him, and seem to be getting along great, it's not hard to want to go to the next level (my wife and I met and slept together in about 4 days after meeting...just hit our 8 year anniversary last week).

    Go with your gut feeling. How did he react when you said you weren't ready to sleep with him? I think alot would depend on that reaction. If you hear less from him, then he just wanted to hit it. If you still chat and he wants to hang out after that, unless he's a master player, he might be interested in more than just sex.


    He said "I won't be mad". When I mentioned before that I'm not the "One night stand" type and have never been, he said. "I have alot of patience, hope you have alot of control". He's a Scorpio if that makes any difference (no, astrology isn't my religion...lol).

    Thanks for taking the time to respond :flowerforyou:
  • spicy618
    spicy618 Posts: 2,114 Member
    Well guys, I'm logging off for today.

    Have my next job to get to.

    Just wanted to Thank you all again for your quick responses. It really helps to hear opinions from people who don't have a reason to lie. :flowerforyou:

    Hope this thread helped someone else who may be going through something similar.

    When he calls to ask me over tonight, I will have THE TALK... :laugh:

    I will come back and let you all know what happens.

    BTW, I got a few Friend Requests from this topic.... I've accpeted your friendship but didn't send a note, sorry gotta run. :flowerforyou:

    Have a Great Day MFPers!
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
    Guarantee this is what he's our for. If he's talking about it that soon and is that forward, then yes he is.
    I'd suggest making a u turn.
    As a guy sex is on the mind all the time, but it doesn't mean that's all men want. From the way you described it, it sounds like he's trying to get you to lower your defenses by inviting you over to meet his family etc. This sounds like a classic play.


    I will give him this, he does have good taste.
  • Hannah_Banana
    Hannah_Banana Posts: 1,242 Member
    Guys like sex. No really, like a lot. And we have an uncanny ability o turn anything into sex, so don't condem him for that especially if you haven't said anything about not liking it.

    Talk to him and tell him that you'd appreciate a slower approach. If he backs off and keeps taking you out like the gentelman he was before, then no, he didn't just want sex. But if he doesn't back off, or call, then yes, that's all he wanted. If he's a halfway decent guy when you talk to him he should tell you all he wants right now is someone to have sex with if that's where he's at. So talk to him, and then don't wait for his call, but if it comes be open to it.

    Best advice I've seen.

    Btw, not just guys like sex. I don't know why it always bothers me a little when women claim men are 'users.' You're enjoying it too. Not all relationships (and I dont mean 'romantic i'm going to marry this person' relationships) have to be about commitment. Sometimes life can just be simple. :wink: So, I say so whatever you feel like doing! If you like the guy, think he's fun and interesting, what is the harm? At best, you'll end up with a lifelong friend and lover. At worst, you'll end up with some fun memories!
  • I'm going to say the sex seems to be a big focus...and you probably are a challenge for him so that's why he's trying to both paint the "family man" and "I'm a great guy" picture at the same time... Has there been any conversation about what you are looking for or past relationships? If he's NOT asking all those questions he should be...instead of trying to feel you up all the time!
  • ChantalGG
    ChantalGG Posts: 2,404 Member
    You should tell him you are taking it slow and wont behaving sex for awhile.lol
  • NA_Willie
    NA_Willie Posts: 340 Member
    Guarantee this is what he's our for. If he's talking about it that soon and is that forward, then yes he is.
    I'd suggest making a u turn.
    As a guy sex is on the mind all the time, but it doesn't mean that's all men want. From the way you described it, it sounds like he's trying to get you to lower your defenses by inviting you over to meet his family etc. This sounds like a classic play.


    I will give him this, he does have good taste.
    I disagree. Back in the day I wasnt taking just a piece of @ss to meet my family. Only three girls have met my family and they were all three serious gfs. What about when Mom asks what happened to that nice girl you had over a few weeks ago? Oh yeah Mom; I was just tagging that.
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
    It can't all be about sex. I mean, he probly wants you to cook too.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    FACT: almost all guys think about sex almost all the time.

    What was the subject of this thread again? I forgot after the OP. I was too busy thinking about sex....

    Back on topic, I don't think the question of what this guy wants is of relevance. What is important is what this lady will or will not accept and if she can handle the consequences of whatever decision she makes. I don't think you can ever really know, control or predict how another person is going to act, only your own reaction. Maybe this guy will stick around after he takes the skin boat to the Bermuda Triangle. Maybe he won't. I don't think that will change with the time unless this guy has no other options.

    I don't think the question of meeting in a club or not makes a blind bit of difference either. If a guy finds a woman sexier than a Bugatti Veyron covered in whipped cream you could meet at a Halitosis seminar and he would still want to do the mattress mambo without a second thought.

    What I don't understand is why such a seemingly sophisticated man is acting like a dumbass. What's all this talking about sex all the time business? What is he, like 12 or something? That must be a turn off. The lead up to the bedroom is like a dance played out with subtle movements, hints, looks. If you are good in bed you don't need to tell anyone. It's obvious from the way you move, the things you do, how you carry yourself...
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
    Guarantee this is what he's our for. If he's talking about it that soon and is that forward, then yes he is.
    I'd suggest making a u turn.
    As a guy sex is on the mind all the time, but it doesn't mean that's all men want. From the way you described it, it sounds like he's trying to get you to lower your defenses by inviting you over to meet his family etc. This sounds like a classic play.


    I will give him this, he does have good taste.
    I disagree. Back in the day I wasnt taking just a piece of @ss to meet my family. Only three girls have met my family and they were all three serious gfs. What about when Mom asks what happened to that nice girl you had over a few weeks ago? Oh yeah Mom; I was just tagging that.

    Did you try and tongue wrestle her right away? Or start making references about sex that soon? Besides, this is awful quick to be meeting the family. You were in serious relationships, she is not with this guy. These things lead me to believe he's trying to play her.

    Something about this guy is making her wonder about his intentions. Sounds to me this guy needs to work on his game.
  • kimber607
    kimber607 Posts: 7,128 Member
    It can't all be about sex. I mean, he probly wants you to cook too.
    :huh: :noway: :laugh: :tongue:
  • Namaste1983
    Namaste1983 Posts: 603 Member
    Guys like sex. No really, like a lot. And we have an uncanny ability o turn anything into sex, so don't condem him for that especially if you haven't said anything about not liking it.

    Talk to him and tell him that you'd appreciate a slower approach. If he backs off and keeps taking you out like the gentelman he was before, then no, he didn't just want sex. But if he doesn't back off, or call, then yes, that's all he wanted. If he's a halfway decent guy when you talk to him he should tell you all he wants right now is someone to have sex with if that's where he's at. So talk to him, and then don't wait for his call, but if it comes be open to it.

    well said :)
  • Namaste1983
    Namaste1983 Posts: 603 Member
    It can't all be about sex. I mean, he probly wants you to cook too.

    I freaking love you!! bwahahaha :D
  • Schwiggity
    Schwiggity Posts: 1,449 Member
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  • NA_Willie
    NA_Willie Posts: 340 Member
    Guarantee this is what he's our for. If he's talking about it that soon and is that forward, then yes he is.
    I'd suggest making a u turn.
    As a guy sex is on the mind all the time, but it doesn't mean that's all men want. From the way you described it, it sounds like he's trying to get you to lower your defenses by inviting you over to meet his family etc. This sounds like a classic play.


    I will give him this, he does have good taste.
    I disagree. Back in the day I wasnt taking just a piece of @ss to meet my family. Only three girls have met my family and they were all three serious gfs. What about when Mom asks what happened to that nice girl you had over a few weeks ago? Oh yeah Mom; I was just tagging that.

    Did you try and tongue wrestle her right away? Or start making references about sex that soon? Besides, this is awful quick to be meeting the family. You were in serious relationships, she is not with this guy. These things lead me to believe he's trying to play her.

    Something about this guy is making her wonder about his intentions. Sounds to me this guy needs to work on his game.
    Im saying that when I was dabbling with just semen receptacles I wouldnt be taking them to meet my family so maybe he does have different intentions. You are 100% right though dude does need to tighten his game up.
  • angryguy77
    angryguy77 Posts: 836 Member
    Guarantee this is what he's our for. If he's talking about it that soon and is that forward, then yes he is.
    I'd suggest making a u turn.
    As a guy sex is on the mind all the time, but it doesn't mean that's all men want. From the way you described it, it sounds like he's trying to get you to lower your defenses by inviting you over to meet his family etc. This sounds like a classic play.


    I will give him this, he does have good taste.
    I disagree. Back in the day I wasnt taking just a piece of @ss to meet my family. Only three girls have met my family and they were all three serious gfs. What about when Mom asks what happened to that nice girl you had over a few weeks ago? Oh yeah Mom; I was just tagging that.

    Did you try and tongue wrestle her right away? Or start making references about sex that soon? Besides, this is awful quick to be meeting the family. You were in serious relationships, she is not with this guy. These things lead me to believe he's trying to play her.

    Something about this guy is making her wonder about his intentions. Sounds to me this guy needs to work on his game.
    Im saying that when I was dabbling with just semen receptacles I wouldnt be taking them to meet my family so maybe he does have different intentions. You are 100% right though dude does need to tighten his game up.

    Right, if that was the only thing he did then I might believe he's on the level. But once you add up all the pieces, I believe it's a safe bet to say what he's our for. Meeting the parents is one thing, but to talk about sex and how much she would like it, putting his hands all over her all in one weeks time should make her think.
  • efokken
    efokken Posts: 138 Member
    Guys are dbags! nough said:mad:
  • brewingaz
    brewingaz Posts: 1,136 Member
    Yeah he's just looking at getting his hose wet. Just sayin'
  • NA_Willie
    NA_Willie Posts: 340 Member
    Guarantee this is what he's our for. If he's talking about it that soon and is that forward, then yes he is.
    I'd suggest making a u turn.
    As a guy sex is on the mind all the time, but it doesn't mean that's all men want. From the way you described it, it sounds like he's trying to get you to lower your defenses by inviting you over to meet his family etc. This sounds like a classic play.


    I will give him this, he does have good taste.
    I disagree. Back in the day I wasnt taking just a piece of @ss to meet my family. Only three girls have met my family and they were all three serious gfs. What about when Mom asks what happened to that nice girl you had over a few weeks ago? Oh yeah Mom; I was just tagging that.

    Did you try and tongue wrestle her right away? Or start making references about sex that soon? Besides, this is awful quick to be meeting the family. You were in serious relationships, she is not with this guy. These things lead me to believe he's trying to play her.

    Something about this guy is making her wonder about his intentions. Sounds to me this guy needs to work on his game.
    Im saying that when I was dabbling with just semen receptacles I wouldnt be taking them to meet my family so maybe he does have different intentions. You are 100% right though dude does need to tighten his game up.

    Right, if that was the only thing he did then I might believe he's on the level. But once you add up all the pieces, I believe it's a safe bet to say what he's our for. Meeting the parents is one thing, but to talk about sex and how much she would like it, putting his hands all over her all in one weeks time should make her think.
    Again I agree his game needs tightened up but my golden rule with chicks is try to get as far as they will let you. Maybe he could be just feeling her out and she is overreacting?

    Met her at a club = bad sign

    Hands all over her every chance he gets = not necessarily a bad sign

    Bringing up sex all the time = bad sign

    Having her meet the parents in less than a week = borderline weird/good sign.

    Im at a loss. If she feels weird about it than she should just leave him alone.
  • Schwiggity
    Schwiggity Posts: 1,449 Member
    Guys are dbags! nough said:mad:

    oh49d1.jpg
  • mishelnkiki
    mishelnkiki Posts: 775 Member
    met my on again off again boyfriend of 1 year in the club. the times that we are off again... is bc he would rather be in the club then with me. on again, is when he has nothing better to do. dont do it! and tell him ur boundries! if he accepts then great! if not... u gotta go! best of luck to ya!
  • LLaDonna
    LLaDonna Posts: 126
    Like another person said: a fine *kitten* man, partying in the VIP section, taking two chicks out at a time, hosting parties, etc. can easily get the booty when he wants it. What if he's testing her integrity? What if this is his "golddigger" test? His game is a little unconventional (borderline wack) but depending on their town, crowd, age group...it might be what the dating scene has come to for him. One never knows...
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    Guys are dbags! nough said:mad:

    I think dishonest guys are that.

    However, if you are a guy, or gal for that matter and all you really want is no strings attached sex then there is no harm in letting that be known so that the objection of your affection can make up their mind. Sure they maybe disappointed if they want more but I think being lied to or lead on hurts way more than that. I think your only duty to a potential partner is to be honest with them.

    Besides, not all guys or gals want look walks on the beach, moonlight or romance. Some just want to get buckwild...
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