Men, what should a woman eat(or not) on the first date?
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lolwut? You let men tell you what to eat? WHY??? you get what you want. only an abuser or a jerk would try to control your dinner order.
Not always true. In a power exchange relationship, this may be normal. My guy always ordered for me (I can no longer eat out due to allergies though).0 -
Sheseeksstrength wrote: »Hi-
I'm going on my first date with a new guy and I don't know what to order. I don't know exactly where we are going, but I'm asking not necessarily in regards to calories but more in regards to what I "should eat." Like what looks better- a salad or a burger?
Thanks!
Are you an adult? That is what you should be asking yourself. Eat what you want. Do what you want. Not what pleases others. You will never be happy nor ever be in a long term relationship if you are always trying to please your significant other by eating, wearing, doing etc that "looks" better. Be reasonable, mature, and be yourself and have fun. Anyone that is worth your time shouldn't expect anything else.
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The most expensive thing on the menu!0
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mamapeach910 wrote: »I don't ever remember putting this much thought into dating. Except for what to wear. Maybe.
I posted earlier saying that I ordered pancakes for dinner with my first boyfriend and didn't care at all, so I would've agreed with you then. But I remember completely freaking out about what I was ordering with my current boyfriend. Probably because I'd known the first guy for a couple years, and this guy only a few days.
I believe I ordered salad, but again, I like salad.0 -
asflatasapancake wrote: »She obviously ate a bunch of Indian food and is still crapping her brains out, after which, she will report back starting another thread that states: 'Other than Indian food, what should a woman eat on a dinner date?'
Lol, I'm dating a white guy and thankfully he's survived my cooking.0 -
lolwut? You let men tell you what to eat? WHY??? you get what you want. only an abuser or a jerk would try to control your dinner order.
Not always true. In a power exchange relationship, this may be normal. My guy always ordered for me (I can no longer eat out due to allergies though).
Sure, but they probably shouldn't be doing this on the first date as presumably there's no power exchange dynamic already established.
(Thanks for mentioning this. I was trying to figure out how to do it simply
)
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kshama2001 wrote: »lolwut? You let men tell you what to eat? WHY??? you get what you want. only an abuser or a jerk would try to control your dinner order.
Not always true. In a power exchange relationship, this may be normal. My guy always ordered for me (I can no longer eat out due to allergies though).
Sure, but they probably shouldn't be doing this on the first date as presumably there's no power exchange dynamic already established.
(Thanks for mentioning this. I was trying to figure out how to do it simply )
Hahaha no problem. I agree that a first date would be too soon for that, but they didn't specify in the post which is why I brought it up.0 -
Whitezombiegirl wrote: »I have a few PERSONAL guidelines:
1. Don't eat anything stinky- personally I can't stand fish/ seafood or to be around anyone eating fish, baked beans, scramled eggs or blue cheese. Bleugh, but I would mention it beforehand.
2. Good table manners are a must. Must use a knife and fork properly and not talk with mouth full. No elbows on the table etc.
3. Have some knowledge and appreciation of wine. It's a turn off for me when a man doesn't know anything about wine. No sweet wine - unless with desert.
4. Don't pig out. Guys who stuff themselves on a date are a turn off for me- especially if they are so full afterwards that they get gas and can't move etc. Personally I like to eat light on a date so I'm not too full for 'afterwards'.
5. Don't 'feed' me. This grosses me out. Plus, taking food off my plate to try it- huge turn off.
6. Don't get drunk and sloppy.
7. Lastly- I'm being picky but I don't like it when a guy orders 'dainty' and 'sterotypically feminine' things- yes, it's just my perception. For example- ordering half a pint of larger or a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows etc. It's just my taste but I like a 'real ale and bloody steak' kind of guy.
Oh, and I'm okay with splitting the cheque. You might think some of these things are common sense (table-manners etc.) but I've encountered them on dates in the past. I'm sure loads of people on here have some good horror stories- I'd love to hear them!
Of course, once I'm in a relationship (I'm married)- most of those 'guidelines' go out of the window.
To me, this screams high maintenance.
Also- why is the op flagged?
AM I FLAGGED? Why?
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Im going to add in my own experience. I met a guy through a dating site who was completely obsessed with his own body image. He was always trying to lose weight and gain muscle and didn't seem to eat much. When we finally met for our first date. He ordered fish and chips and didn't even finish a quarter of the plate. I ordered blackened chicken with mashed potatoes. It was the most amazing meal I ever had. I ate every single last morsel of food on that plate (not like a savage). I could tell he was grossed out. Never got a call back from him and I never bothered because I am not going to be with someone who would be swayed by my decision to eat all my food.
I love this- thank you!
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Sheseeksstrength wrote: »Whitezombiegirl wrote: »I have a few PERSONAL guidelines:
1. Don't eat anything stinky- personally I can't stand fish/ seafood or to be around anyone eating fish, baked beans, scramled eggs or blue cheese. Bleugh, but I would mention it beforehand.
2. Good table manners are a must. Must use a knife and fork properly and not talk with mouth full. No elbows on the table etc.
3. Have some knowledge and appreciation of wine. It's a turn off for me when a man doesn't know anything about wine. No sweet wine - unless with desert.
4. Don't pig out. Guys who stuff themselves on a date are a turn off for me- especially if they are so full afterwards that they get gas and can't move etc. Personally I like to eat light on a date so I'm not too full for 'afterwards'.
5. Don't 'feed' me. This grosses me out. Plus, taking food off my plate to try it- huge turn off.
6. Don't get drunk and sloppy.
7. Lastly- I'm being picky but I don't like it when a guy orders 'dainty' and 'sterotypically feminine' things- yes, it's just my perception. For example- ordering half a pint of larger or a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows etc. It's just my taste but I like a 'real ale and bloody steak' kind of guy.
Oh, and I'm okay with splitting the cheque. You might think some of these things are common sense (table-manners etc.) but I've encountered them on dates in the past. I'm sure loads of people on here have some good horror stories- I'd love to hear them!
Of course, once I'm in a relationship (I'm married)- most of those 'guidelines' go out of the window.
To me, this screams high maintenance.
Also- why is the op flagged?
AM I FLAGGED? Why?
Yes, if you look at your first post, someone added a flag for Spam. Don't worry about it; your post was clearly not Spam.
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That is crazy, thanks for letting me know!0
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Sheseeksstrength wrote: »Whitezombiegirl wrote: »I have a few PERSONAL guidelines:
1. Don't eat anything stinky- personally I can't stand fish/ seafood or to be around anyone eating fish, baked beans, scramled eggs or blue cheese. Bleugh, but I would mention it beforehand.
2. Good table manners are a must. Must use a knife and fork properly and not talk with mouth full. No elbows on the table etc.
3. Have some knowledge and appreciation of wine. It's a turn off for me when a man doesn't know anything about wine. No sweet wine - unless with desert.
4. Don't pig out. Guys who stuff themselves on a date are a turn off for me- especially if they are so full afterwards that they get gas and can't move etc. Personally I like to eat light on a date so I'm not too full for 'afterwards'.
5. Don't 'feed' me. This grosses me out. Plus, taking food off my plate to try it- huge turn off.
6. Don't get drunk and sloppy.
7. Lastly- I'm being picky but I don't like it when a guy orders 'dainty' and 'sterotypically feminine' things- yes, it's just my perception. For example- ordering half a pint of larger or a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows etc. It's just my taste but I like a 'real ale and bloody steak' kind of guy.
Oh, and I'm okay with splitting the cheque. You might think some of these things are common sense (table-manners etc.) but I've encountered them on dates in the past. I'm sure loads of people on here have some good horror stories- I'd love to hear them!
Of course, once I'm in a relationship (I'm married)- most of those 'guidelines' go out of the window.
To me, this screams high maintenance.
Also- why is the op flagged?
AM I FLAGGED? Why?
Some people feel like the flags are "I disgree with this post" buttons. Which they're clearly not. People who abuse the flagging system get in trouble (supposedly), so hopefully, if whoever flagged you is a compulsive flagger, they'll get their commupance eventually.
People can be morons.
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Whitezombiegirl wrote: »I have a few PERSONAL guidelines:
1. Don't eat anything stinky- personally I can't stand fish/ seafood or to be around anyone eating fish, baked beans, scramled eggs or blue cheese. Bleugh, but I would mention it beforehand.
2. Good table manners are a must. Must use a knife and fork properly and not talk with mouth full. No elbows on the table etc.
3. Have some knowledge and appreciation of wine. It's a turn off for me when a man doesn't know anything about wine. No sweet wine - unless with desert.
4. Don't pig out. Guys who stuff themselves on a date are a turn off for me- especially if they are so full afterwards that they get gas and can't move etc. Personally I like to eat light on a date so I'm not too full for 'afterwards'.
5. Don't 'feed' me. This grosses me out. Plus, taking food off my plate to try it- huge turn off.
6. Don't get drunk and sloppy.
7. Lastly- I'm being picky but I don't like it when a guy orders 'dainty' and 'sterotypically feminine' things- yes, it's just my perception. For example- ordering half a pint of larger or a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows etc. It's just my taste but I like a 'real ale and bloody steak' kind of guy.
Oh, and I'm okay with splitting the cheque. You might think some of these things are common sense (table-manners etc.) but I've encountered them on dates in the past. I'm sure loads of people on here have some good horror stories- I'd love to hear them!
Of course, once I'm in a relationship (I'm married)- most of those 'guidelines' go out of the window.
I agree with about half of these.
1. I don't think it matters. Is a kiss even guaranteed, aren't you just getting to know each other? shouldn't put pressure on these things.
2. Kinda. I usually just eat with my fork, lol. Guess I'm kind of rude.
3. Don't care, I don't even drink alcohol. I think beer smells/tastes gross.
4. If we are both pigging out, then I don't see a problem. I would see it as a sign of him either not giving a damn what I think or being reaaally comfortable with me
5. Don't have a problem with them putting food in my mouth if they are trying to be cute or romantic but I have food issues, I don't like people snatching things off my plate.
6. Never a good look
7. Haha, that really doesn't matter at all. He should be able to order whatever he wants!!!
Why should he pay for the date? if I asked him out, shouldn't I pay? if we met on a dating site, or it was a blind date, we should probably pay for ourselves. If we are just getting to know each other, we don't owe each other anything. Paying is just a nice gesture. It's not neccessary.Whitezombiegirl wrote: »I have a few PERSONAL guidelines:
1. Don't eat anything stinky- personally I can't stand fish/ seafood or to be around anyone eating fish, baked beans, scramled eggs or blue cheese. Bleugh, but I would mention it beforehand.
2. Good table manners are a must. Must use a knife and fork properly and not talk with mouth full. No elbows on the table etc.
3. Have some knowledge and appreciation of wine. It's a turn off for me when a man doesn't know anything about wine. No sweet wine - unless with desert.
4. Don't pig out. Guys who stuff themselves on a date are a turn off for me- especially if they are so full afterwards that they get gas and can't move etc. Personally I like to eat light on a date so I'm not too full for 'afterwards'.
5. Don't 'feed' me. This grosses me out. Plus, taking food off my plate to try it- huge turn off.
6. Don't get drunk and sloppy.
7. Lastly- I'm being picky but I don't like it when a guy orders 'dainty' and 'sterotypically feminine' things- yes, it's just my perception. For example- ordering half a pint of larger or a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows etc. It's just my taste but I like a 'real ale and bloody steak' kind of guy.
Oh, and I'm okay with splitting the cheque. You might think some of these things are common sense (table-manners etc.) but I've encountered them on dates in the past. I'm sure loads of people on here have some good horror stories- I'd love to hear them!
Of course, once I'm in a relationship (I'm married)- most of those 'guidelines' go out of the window.
do you announce these rules prior to the date?? or is just on a hand out?
Omg, that would be hilarious!!!0 -
From a guy's perspective, I'll tell you that I have no idea what my wife ate on our first date. I suspect it was something from the menu. Good luck OP.0
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I've had a lot of first dates where the girl picked the most expensive thing on the menu, poked at the salad and pretty much left everything behind and untouched. I get that girls get self conscious eating on a date, but I end up thinking I could have given that to someone who would have appreciated it at least. Just don't be wasteful. Also probably don't get drunk. Had several get drunk but one pulled a knife as part of a joke. It kinda got scary. She didn't get a second date. So perhaps be careful with alcohol?
My favorite first date was a girl who went with me to a texmex restaurant to check out the quesadillas. She was a quesadilla connoisseur of sorts. It was cool cause she liked what she liked and wasnt ashamed of that. She had a very "this is me, love me for what I am or keep on walking" attitude. I respected her for that. It was so nice to date someone who wasn't pretending to be anything other than what she was. We dated for a little bit but our lifestyles just didn't fit together at all. She turned into a good friend though. So, yeah, be you and eat what you normally eat. If a guy can't respect you for that, he probably shouldn't be part of your life.0 -
On our first date I accidentally locked the keys in the car at the restaurant. I have no idea what she ate. I do remember how mortified I was as to my error. And how gracious she was to walk home with me to get the spare key - then walk back to get the car. Been married 33 years this summer.0
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On my first date with my fiance we went out for breakfast. He got chicken and waffles and I got a spinach omelet. He was absolutely convinced I was just doing the MODEST GIRL ON A DATE thing. This was a year before we both started to better ourselves. Dude found out quick I was just eating what appealed to me because I went ham on whatever we got for lunch.
Point is, don't feel pressure to be dainty with the eating around a guy. It's so tired of an idea they're expecting it. Fit within your cals and have a good time.0 -
Yay thread resurrection
My DH and I went to the movies as a first "date" but we went out to lunch a few days later. I choked on broccoli; he almost had to do the Heimlich but I hit myself on the table and dislodged it myself. It was painful and ridiculous but he still married me.
Don't order the broccoli...if you do, chew thoroughly.0 -
If this is where you are mentally you are not ready to be dating.0
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