My 600 Pound Life
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peachyfuzzle wrote: »You don't understand how people can do that because you've must have never experienced any sort of addiction, especially addiction predicated upon serious childhood trauma. You also must not be able to grasp the idea of body dysmorphia in the way that BDD serves to distort one's own body image as opposed to reality.
I never had any serious childhood trauma that I'm aware of. I've always just had poor eating habits partly due to the way I grew up, and never being taught what a proper diet really was. However, when I got up to 320lbs at my heaviest, I would look in the mirror, and sincerely believe that I wasn't "that big." I would look at other bigger people, and sincerely believe that I was about their size, or even smaller, when the truth was that I had been at least 50lbs heavier in most cases.
My brain would not allow me to see myself for what I had become, and even now that I am down a significant amount of weight, I still don't really see much difference. I have to rely upon the tape measure, the way my clothes fit, and other people saying how different I look.
That is real, and while you're not heartless for thinking the way you do, you're most assuredly ignorant (likely not your fault due to no previous experience) bordering on callous.
And this.
Although I would say ignorance is different from lack of knowledge in that it's willful, and it IS in part brought about by a lack of empathy. It's the difference between "I just can't understand why [insert literally any-phobic comment here]" and "I'm legitimately trying to understand your POV, but I just don't have the information or experience required to do it, can you explain it to me". The difference between a kid raised by racists who just isn't aware of reality due to lack of exposure and a Klan member who willfully ignores the evidence of his incorrectness even when presented with it.0 -
kshama2001 wrote: »CarboUnload wrote: »I'm not sure that I understand what the OP was looking for with this comment or this thread. Are you looking for validation that you're allowed to feel what you're feeling about someone you don't know? Are you looking for camaraderie with other people that lack compassion like you do? This is a site for people to lose weight, and that means everyone that has weight to lose, whether it is 5 pounds or 400 pounds.
You're right, you just don't understand it and you don't have to, because the world is not your place to figure out how everyone needs to live.
I am not 600 pounds, but I am well aware that I have the propensity to get to that point if I am not mindful of what I'm eating and how I move my body, do I then fall into that category of people who you just couldn't imagine being? Or is it okay because the scale doesn't say that about me?
Eh, I think some people are being too hard on the OP. I used to be a heavy drinker but I still couldn't imagine me drinking on the job, and when someone I knew got fired for this, we were all freaking out about it. Eating so much that you are not able to leave your house for years is a much bigger deal than being functionally overweight, so to speak.
Being shocked at someone's behavior does not mean you don't also have compassion for them. At 12 step meetings, I was often taken aback, yet always compassionate.
I think the crux here is that you were able to be shocked and maintain your compassion in spite. If you read a little more of OP's later comments, I'd say it's pretty clear she is not doing that.0 -
CoffeeNCardio wrote: »Seriously. If you see someone that's 600lbs and your first thought isn't "OMG you must be suffering terribly I will pray to whatever god I pray to that something can be done to help you so you don't have to suffer anymore", I'm ashamed to share the planet with you.
I love that you posted this. I would think most people look at a super obese person and their first instinct is to laugh, make fun of their size or look in disgust. My guess is rarely do they think that the person must be in great pain, both physically and emotionally, to be that size.0 -
kshama2001 wrote: »CarboUnload wrote: »I'm not sure that I understand what the OP was looking for with this comment or this thread. Are you looking for validation that you're allowed to feel what you're feeling about someone you don't know? Are you looking for camaraderie with other people that lack compassion like you do? This is a site for people to lose weight, and that means everyone that has weight to lose, whether it is 5 pounds or 400 pounds.
You're right, you just don't understand it and you don't have to, because the world is not your place to figure out how everyone needs to live.
I am not 600 pounds, but I am well aware that I have the propensity to get to that point if I am not mindful of what I'm eating and how I move my body, do I then fall into that category of people who you just couldn't imagine being? Or is it okay because the scale doesn't say that about me?
Eh, I think some people are being too hard on the OP. I used to be a heavy drinker but I still couldn't imagine me drinking on the job, and when someone I knew got fired for this, we were all freaking out about it. Eating so much that you are not able to leave your house for years is a much bigger deal than being functionally overweight, so to speak.
Being shocked at someone's behavior does not mean you don't also have compassion for them. At 12 step meetings, I was often taken aback, yet always compassionate.
Alcoholism runs in my family. Many of my extended relatives have died young or prematurely due to either the direct effects of intoxication or the long-term health issues of heavy drinking. My parents warned me about it when I was a kid. I'm not sure if I lucked out and didn't get the genetic markers my relatives have, or if the early warning helped, but I haven't had a problem with it as an adult. I rarely drink, maybe 3-4x a year at most. For whatever reason, it's nothing I seek out, and something that's really easy for me to say no to. If overeating felt as bad as drinking a lot did to me, maybe I wouldn't have gotten overweight. But that still doesn't mean I'd dismiss alcohol addiction. I do think it's tricky comparing the two because they are not the same, but some of the self-medicating aspects and the fact that both are really prominent in our culture are the same.
I never thought I'd get over 200 lbs. I never thought I'd let myself 'go' like that. And yet there I was. The decision to do something about it put off and put off again. 600 lbs seems only like a difference of degrees when I think about how often I let myself go past whatever line I'd drawn for myself, over and over again. How it's still so hard losing weight and sticking to it. How easy it is to slip up and lose it all.0 -
OMG I am addicted to this show, sometimes it's scary because it's like a cycle, they hate their body but continue to over eat. I can understand the love hate relationship with food0
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Coming back and reading here I must smile...
It is a bit weird seeing all these "good" people bashing on at the OP. Some of the comments geared towards the OP are lacking more compassion and empathy than anything the OP wrote in her starting statement...
And yet...you believe you are better than her
When I read her statement I thought to myself...Ok, it is unfortunate the way she put it, I am sure she didn't mean it that way. Not everybody on MFP is so eloquent and you should always give the benefit of doubt to whatever is written here. The OP herself might need compassion for writing those things. But noooo, let's judge from our high horses because we are so much better, aren't we.
Myself, I thought... I don't understand how she is shocked that people can get so big, but maybe she just meant it like I would when I say statement like:
"I am shocked how anybody could hold down 3 jobs and raise 2 kids at the same time"... because I can't imagine doing the same. I am way too lazy
why think I say that too judge people?
"I can't imagine ever prostituting myself" - Where did I state it is wrong to prostitute oneself or that I judge them for that? I just know that myself I would find other means of income (I hope )
I am shocked/ can't imagine how anybody would vaccinate/not vaccinate their children..... I am not judging with these statements, am I?
Why can't we all write anything without being judged for it. Yo have your opinion and I do mine. I hate, absolutely hate killing any insects, maybe you do it on a daily basis... are you a mean person? Who am I to judge.... and who gave you the right to do so?
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I was at 442 when i started here on mfp. As i approached 300 i told myself there was no way i would ever let myself weigh over 300 pounds. The next thing i knew i was 320. Then as i approached 400 pounds i rold nyself there is no way you r going ro weigh over 400...then i hit 442. I could have very easily continued down that same road but i took control and now i am back down to 320. Yes i still have a long way to go and i will have to maintain this new way of life forever but i think of myself as one of the fortunate people in thia world. I finally realized i had a problem and took control of it. I am fortunate to have a supportive family. The people on that show are so obese they dont have the ability to take control. That show is the last chance alot of them have.
Hey, I was going to make the snarky comment that I even sometimes eat in from of the television while watching the show, but then I read your post. God bless you @kdblpn. You should be commended for turning your life around. I was headed the wrong direction too but only got to 290 lbs before finding MFP, buying a Garmin to track my exercise and discovering a diet that worked. The fact that you're back down by almost 90 pounds is outstanding and a guarantee that you will never end up on that show! Good luck!0 -
I watched part of an episode once...mentioned above, the costume designer. I was FLOORED that this woman had a 2-donut snack BEFORE BREAKFAST. The enabling, or whole-family sickness, was shocking and I am really not sure why we should be watching people do this to themselves. Oh, and the doctor...this woman lost something like 60 pounds in a few months and the response was "let's do surgery". What?!? Why not continue to eat like a normal person instead of subject a 550 pound person to surgery?!? I know reality TV is all the rage, but I just dont get it...3
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IdLikeToLoseItLoseIt wrote: »I think it really does land in the realm of addictions and psychological problems, and as such it's important to view extreme obesity through that lense. The show Hoarders? There's an example of living, daily, in a home that literally becomes life threatening, bags of excrement and adult diapers piled to the ceiling. Most people think, "How could you ever let it get that far?" or "Why don't you just clean?" However, it's far far more complicated and deeper than that, it just happens to manifest itself in an externally visible way. With extreme obesity, I think it's far far more complicated than "trying to diet."
And even among the extremes, there is still a spectrum of people, some of whom can be helped and help themselves (and want to change) and some of whom may never be able to live in the way "society" deems acceptable.
Fat shaming is one of the last widely accepted forms of prejudice and judgmentalism in society today. We live in a time where people can change their gender and their physical body parts and that is accepted, we have compassion and understanding. But a 600 lb person? Let the outward negativity and nastiness fly, let the holier than thou attitudes prevail!
It makes me sad and angry.
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I think there is a certain amount of depression involving hopelessness and helplessness that goes along with extreme weights. Same with extreme hoarding. Shaming doesn't help. Some people need a team approach with real solutions.0
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watching the show, I was glad I didn't have an enabler or I would have probably weighed 600 rather than 200. I would never have had anyone bring me food and baby me like that, most of my family is real selfish. I had an ex-husband who was an alcoholic and I sure enabled him for years, I am sure he would have quit drinking sooner if I had said I don't want to live like this and wont unless you get help. Yep, those enablers can kill you!1
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brenn24179 wrote: »watching the show, I was glad I didn't have an enabler or I would have probably weighed 600 rather than 200. I would never have had anyone bring me food and baby me like that, most of my family is real selfish. I had an ex-husband who was an alcoholic and I sure enabled him for years, I am sure he would have quit drinking sooner if I had said I don't want to live like this and wont unless you get help. Yep, those enablers can kill you!
I agree! And they do Very sad.0 -
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Lose2Cruise2016 wrote: »
Tough love is going beyond. Helping and doing for the person you love something they cannot do on their own. Not punishing. Not kicking someone when they are down. It is lovingly helping the one you love break out of denial and help them from hurting and damaging themselves further. It's incredible when it works and thank God for families and loved ones who love enough to step up to the plate to intervene and help the ones they love who are so engrained in their addictions and denial that it has become impossible for them to help themselves.1 -
I watched part of an episode once...mentioned above, the costume designer. I was FLOORED that this woman had a 2-donut snack BEFORE BREAKFAST. The enabling, or whole-family sickness, was shocking and I am really not sure why we should be watching people do this to themselves. Oh, and the doctor...this woman lost something like 60 pounds in a few months and the response was "let's do surgery". What?!? Why not continue to eat like a normal person instead of subject a 550 pound person to surgery?!? I know reality TV is all the rage, but I just dont get it...
I think gastric bypass patients have a better chance of not regaining the weight than the rest of us, due in large part to improvements in hunger hormone levels after the surgery.
http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/578906_22 -
I watched part of an episode once...mentioned above, the costume designer. I was FLOORED that this woman had a 2-donut snack BEFORE BREAKFAST. The enabling, or whole-family sickness, was shocking and I am really not sure why we should be watching people do this to themselves. Oh, and the doctor...this woman lost something like 60 pounds in a few months and the response was "let's do surgery". What?!? Why not continue to eat like a normal person instead of subject a 550 pound person to surgery?!? I know reality TV is all the rage, but I just dont get it...
I'm definitely not an expert on medical issues but I do know a couple things because I have an uncle who is close to 500lbs right now.
1. They will not consider you for surgery unless you show that you are committed to keeping the weight off and in order to show this they require you to lose weight first (at least, that's what the docs told my uncle)
2. Once you lose the weight, some people's medical complications related to weight loss are so severe that doctors consider it more dangerous to you to let you lose the weight slowly and naturally (because you'll continue to be at such a large size which does damage for much longer) than to do a major operation like gastric bypass. I think for most people, they want you to lose the weight naturally and healthily but some people are in such bad health that it would take too long and your health just might not make it.
These things might not be true for everyone but its what I learned from my uncle being as large as he is.1 -
I agree with this...and that's why I watch the show (and the show "Extreme Weight Loss"), because if I don't watch myself, I can easily yo-yo back up to what I started here at (#275) or more.I wish there was a less religious phrase that was the equivalent of "there but for the grace of god go I".
I'm at (under) my goal weight now & maintaining my loss but watch the shows (and "Skin Tight" as well) to keep me honest & eating mindfully because "there for the grace of G-d, go I"
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So I watched a couple of shows tonight because I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I'm split on this. Some folks are honest good folks who got in a bad place and are doing their best to get out. Huzzah for them. Others just seem to be jerks and I have trouble empathizing with jerks regardless of their issues.
On the other hand I know that this is a show, and I know shows can be exploitive with how they choose to portray a person. Choosing to only film the bad days and not the good can make everyone look like a jerk.
So I guess my final answer is it try and keep an open mind, I can easily see myself having been gotten to that point, and I can easily see a person meing manipulated by a tv crew for ratings.1 -
kshama2001 wrote: »Eh, I think some people are being too hard on the OP.
I think you missed the thread where the OP told a 360 lb., 55 year old, demoralized newcomer that 1) She could not imagine gaining 100 lbs. let alone the 200 lbs. this poor woman gained 2) made a point to mention how she could "gorge" herself on food but has the discipline and self love not to 3) described overeating behaviors that resulted in this woman's 200 lb. weight gain as "reckless" and "out of control" 4) and also quoted scripture (But that was removed by the moderators.)
Wow!0 -
I am a nurse, and many years ago I used to care for a woman who weighed around 700 pounds (this was before gastric bypass surgery existed). She was admitted frequently on my unit, and over the years, I grew to know her pretty well. One evening, as we were chatting, I asked her how her obesity "happened". Her answer was, "One bite at a time, Lisa. One bite at a time." We both chuckled after she said that.
It's the little things that we do, day by day, that make the difference in our lives.1 -
kshama2001 wrote: »Eh, I think some people are being too hard on the OP.
I think you missed the thread where the OP told a 360 lb., 55 year old, demoralized newcomer that 1) She could not imagine gaining 100 lbs. let alone the 200 lbs. this poor woman gained 2) made a point to mention how she could "gorge" herself on food but has the discipline and self love not to 3) described overeating behaviors that resulted in this woman's 200 lb. weight gain as "reckless" and "out of control" 4) and also quoted scripture (But that was removed by the moderators.)
This post? Was not edited by anyone, so no scripture was removed by the mods. It was that thread's OP who mentioned Jesus, not this thread's OP. I have a totally different take on her post in that thread than you do.
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I watched part of an episode once...mentioned above, the costume designer. I was FLOORED that this woman had a 2-donut snack BEFORE BREAKFAST. The enabling, or whole-family sickness, was shocking and I am really not sure why we should be watching people do this to themselves. Oh, and the doctor...this woman lost something like 60 pounds in a few months and the response was "let's do surgery". What?!? Why not continue to eat like a normal person instead of subject a 550 pound person to surgery?!? I know reality TV is all the rage, but I just dont get it...
I remember when I was a kid going to coffee hour after church and being shocked that people ate donuts before breakfast. To me then and now, donuts are too desserty to be eaten any time other than after dinner. (I don't eat a lot of donuts, lol.) But I realize many people do not share this view.0 -
goldthistime wrote: »I watched part of an episode once...mentioned above, the costume designer. I was FLOORED that this woman had a 2-donut snack BEFORE BREAKFAST. The enabling, or whole-family sickness, was shocking and I am really not sure why we should be watching people do this to themselves. Oh, and the doctor...this woman lost something like 60 pounds in a few months and the response was "let's do surgery". What?!? Why not continue to eat like a normal person instead of subject a 550 pound person to surgery?!? I know reality TV is all the rage, but I just dont get it...
I think gastric bypass patients have a better chance of not regaining the weight than the rest of us, due in large part to improvements in hunger hormone levels after the surgery.
http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/578906_2
My aunts had gastric bypass. One regained the weight, the other one regained it and lost some.
Also the reason those patients lose weight is because they know they can get the surgery. They know it's a means to an end, so they lose weight on their own for a short period of time.0 -
I like the show, mainly because it shows the reality of weight loss surgery. The doctor doesn't sugar coat or sprinkle fairy dust or any nonsense like that. He straight up tells people, the surgery can help, but it won't fix you, and you will fail if you don't take responsibility and put in the work. Then when they come back to him in denial about why they're not losing, he tells them again. You're overeating. Stop. The best tool is useless in the hands of someone who won't use it.
As far as not being able to believe anyone could do that to themselves: I believe it. My mother and aunt have both been over 300 lbs (we're a short bunch of gals, too), I was on my way there, and if I hadn't learned, by accident, that nothing was wrong with me and how simple calorie tracking is, I'd have gotten there and beyond. Who knows when it would have stopped.1 -
I can see how it happens to someone. I started 2015 at 490 pounds. By the start of Dec 2015 I was 530. I am 100% positive that I would have cracked 600 by the end of 2016. Fortunately I'm getting help from my doctor and medical staff, and am back down to 490 over the last 8 weeks. I may (although won't be disappointed if I miss it a bit) hit 400 by the end of the year.
I'm not lazy. I know that binge eating causes weight gain. I'm not stupid. But it's always easier to start something tomorrow than it is today. You get to be 400, 500, 600 pounds by eating way more than necessary every day, and every day saying you're going to start tomorrow.
Severely morbidly obese people aren't asking for pity. Or excuses. However, those explicitly saying they don't have any empathy, or "just can't imagine", are speaking volumes about their own character and nothing about the obese people they reference. I'd rather be my compassionate, caring, empathetic 500 pound self forever than be a thin someone who doesn't have the ability to step in someone else's shoes or show compassion and understanding that everyone is struggling with something. Next time consider a kind word instead of judgement.
Yes. All of this - love this, and your attitude.
On the topic of what can't be imagined, I "just can't imagine" having zero compassion or empathy for other people. Speaks volumes about the OP.
Well said...wishing you all the best on your journey gfjay0 -
Whether it's 600 pounds or 50 it's still a battle. Wouldn't it be nice to eat all you want whenever you want and never gain? The ideal diet for me would be Creme brûlée for breakfast, a huge bowl of sweet cream ice cream with chocolate shavings for lunch, French Bavarian cream puffs for dinner and a huge slice of tiramisu for dinner and a huge slice of peach pie for an evening snack. Oh and an afternoon snack of a chocolate malt. The amazing and incredible about MFP is we can still enjoy the foods we love by factoring the calories in. And coming from a southern family background where evening dessert is the norm doesn't make it easier. Every meal must end with dessert.
. But there is just something about keeping our appetites reined that makes my confidence soar. When I accept that a part of me WILL ALWAYS love dessert and that it's normal. Just don't eat the entire cake 0 -
PaulaWallaDingDong wrote: »I like the show, mainly because it shows the reality of weight loss surgery. The doctor doesn't sugar coat or sprinkle fairy dust or any nonsense like that. He straight up tells people, the surgery can help, but it won't fix you, and you will fail if you don't take responsibility and put in the work. Then when they come back to him in denial about why they're not losing, he tells them again. You're overeating. Stop. The best tool is useless in the hands of someone who won't use it.
As far as not being able to believe anyone could do that to themselves: I believe it. My mother and aunt have both been over 300 lbs (we're a short bunch of gals, too), I was on my way there, and if I hadn't learned, by accident, that nothing was wrong with me and how simple calorie tracking is, I'd have gotten there and beyond. Who knows when it would have stopped.
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You are a very smart woman. Thanks for the before and after picture. You look amazing. I tried to respond with a friend request. Still learning MFP and adjusting to s new iPhone. I will keep trying.0
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bellabonbons wrote: »Whether it's 600 pounds or 50 it's still a battle. Wouldn't it be nice to eat all you want whenever you want and never gain? The ideal diet for me would be Creme brûlée for breakfast, a huge bowl of sweet cream ice cream with chocolate shavings for lunch, French Bavarian cream puffs for dinner and a huge slice of tiramisu for dinner and a huge slice of peach pie for an evening snack. Oh and an afternoon snack of a chocolate malt. The amazing and incredible about MFP is we can still enjoy the foods we love by factoring the calories in. And coming from a southern family background where evening dessert is the norm doesn't make it easier. Every meal must end with dessert.. But there is just something about keeping our appetites reined that makes my confidence soar. When I accept that a part of me WILL ALWAYS love dessert and that it's normal. Just don't eat the entire cake
Well if you have Cystic Fibrosis, you could eat and not gain, but then you'd also have a mucked up pancreas which results in CF related diabetes, and maybe live until you're 40....1 -
airangel59 wrote: »
I agree with this...and that's why I watch the show (and the show "Extreme Weight Loss"), because if I don't watch myself, I can easily yo-yo back up to what I started here at (#275) or more.I wish there was a less religious phrase that was the equivalent of "there but for the grace of god go I".
I'm at (under) my goal weight now & maintaining my loss but watch the shows (and "Skin Tight" as well) to keep me honest & eating mindfully because "there for the grace of G-d, go I"
Congratulations on your success! Awesome job!0
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