Second thoughts about surgery
BeeRodMul
Posts: 48 Member
Not sure this is the right board for this. I have an appointment with a baratic doctor on Monday about potentially getting the vertical sleeve. But I'm having thoughts because of the cons: I can't drink from a straw anymore, dumping syndrome, the constant vomiting, always eating on a 1000-calorie or less diet. I just lost the first 15 pounds on my own (yep 5% of my starting weight) with the first 2 months of my journey. I'm happy about that but scared that I'll get too confident and slack off. Just don't know what to do. Surgery is such a big step.
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Why don´t you go to the appointment and hear what advice, pros and cons the doctor can give you. Even if he tells you ok ... you can take time and reconsider. Surgery ... I know it´s a big step. In my life it would not be the answer. I would not accept the cons or the risks. For some people surgery is the way to save them selfes. Take the time you need to allow yourself to decide. Don´t feel you have to rush into it. perhaps you need time to see if you can lose to normal bmi without the surgery. Perhaps that´s not possible and for healthreasons you need the weighloss. Step 1 to talk to the doctor is safe to take. ;-)0
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surgery is not a magic solution. invest your time and money learning nutrition and fitness and you can achieve the same goals without surgery. Surgery wont change you, but changing you will change you. Weightloss and achieving a healthy body is a lifestyle change.0
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I will add a third (fourth, fifth) thought - surgery will change your stomach, but for permanent weight loss, what you really need to change is your habits and your attitudes. Seems like that process has already started. You can do this!0
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I guess the doubts began when I saw the replies here on MFP when someone's insurance denied for surgery after losing 40 pounds during the require 3-month hospital program. My husband is supportive but hope surgery isn't needed. My mom just want me to lose the weight at all costs.
The main problem I suffer since the last time I used MFP was that once I'm triggered by something, I give up and start eating junk. I lost weight before my wedding until one of my BMs said something before our RD that got me upset and then I let go again.0 -
Surgery saved my husband's life. If you have serious health issues that need to be addressed immediately and you know you don't have the willpower to do it on your own through diet and exercise, then yes I highly recommend it. However, you've gotten a taste of what you can do and you've seen plenty of examples on here. I agree you need to fix the underlying eating issues to be truly successful. It helped my husband drop 100lbs rapidly. But he's still overweight and has learned how to cheat it. He's not in imminent danger anymore, but would be better off if he followed the rules and exercised. But he doesn't have that interest, so at least it has prevented him from gaining too much back. But he throws up almost every meal from trying to force himself to eat things he shouldn't.0
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I don´t think your mom knows all the risks you face doing the surgery. I´m pretty sure she prefer you to be a curvy healthy woman over you being slim and suffering *the-worse-case-scenarios* of surgery. PS.. surgery will not cure all your insensitive relatives and friends... ;-) you still have to deal with them ;-)
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Please gain inspiration from others here and do this without surgery.
All the answers are here.0 -
I know a few people who have had the surgery. For all of them it helped at first, but over time quite a few of them ended up right back at their original weight and had stretched their stomach back out. They didn't take the lifestyle changes to heart. The ones it worked for long term are the ones that took the lifestyle to heart, kept going to the aftercare classes, and kept really monitoring intake.
I wouldn't say don't have the surgery, but it isn't going to magically give you willpower and habits you need. If you are starting to get them on your own you may want to give yourself more time, spend the money on some counseling to see why you are letting outside influences dictate how you eat.0 -
Springfield1970 wrote: »Please gain inspiration from others here and do this without surgery.
All the answers are here.
I do not know enough about the OPs situation to offer advice. I would be interested to hear what information or expertise, or credentials others have where they feel qualified to weigh in on such an important decision.
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I guess the doubts began when I saw the replies here on MFP when someone's insurance denied for surgery after losing 40 pounds during the require 3-month hospital program. My husband is supportive but hope surgery isn't needed. My mom just want me to lose the weight at all costs.
The main problem I suffer since the last time I used MFP was that once I'm triggered by something, I give up and start eating junk. I lost weight before my wedding until one of my BMs said something before our RD that got me upset and then I let go again.
Ask yourself this, will surgery fix the underlying issues here?
My guess is probably not. Have you tried finding another outlet for when you are upset?
**I'm not against surgery. I just think it's important to remember that it doesn't really make it easier and it won't fix things like emotional or boredom eating.0 -
I guess the doubts began when I saw the replies here on MFP when someone's insurance denied for surgery after losing 40 pounds during the require 3-month hospital program. My husband is supportive but hope surgery isn't needed. My mom just want me to lose the weight at all costs.
The main problem I suffer since the last time I used MFP was that once I'm triggered by something, I give up and start eating junk. I lost weight before my wedding until one of my BMs said something before our RD that got me upset and then I let go again.
Surgery isn't going to stop this from happening.0 -
No one here is claiming to be experts. We offer our thoughts to a member who is asking. Nothing more! Take a chillpill. We are only offering friendly responses.Springfield1970 wrote: »Please gain inspiration from others here and do this without surgery.
All the answers are here.
I do not know enough about the OPs situation to offer advice. I would be interested to hear what information or expertise, or credentials others have where they feel qualified to weigh in on such an important decision.
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If you have questions or need a different perspective please feel free to msg me. I've had success and failure with the gastric sleeve.0
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It's risky, life-altering (positive AND negative), but if you're in serious peril with your health because of your weight, it could be what you need to get you going. As long as you're aware that it won't cure you of your old habits or force a permanent calorie restriction, you at least have the right attitude going into the process. Talk to the doc about what causes you to overeat, because that will have to change regardless of which path you choose.0
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Springfield1970 wrote: »Please gain inspiration from others here and do this without surgery.
All the answers are here.
I do not know enough about the OPs situation to offer advice. I would be interested to hear what information or expertise, or credentials others have where they feel qualified to weigh in on such an important decision.
The OP asked the community for opinions. We're giving them.0 -
It is a huge step and you shouldn't go through with it if you have doubts. There is nothing wrong with getting more information though.
To force a nutritional restriction for the rest of your life is a risky thing. If you can control your diet sufficiently on your own, why not do that?
The binge eating is an emotional problem--you aren't going to fix it with a physical solution.0 -
Please, stop arguing! I appreciate both sides of the story. I just need some direction on what I should ask my doctor on Monday.
Anyway, I do realize the biggest problem on why I gain weight is triggers. Whenever I lose weight, someone or something happens. And I reach for my safety net. One of the most insensitive comments recently came from my mom. She's said, "if you're not eating so much, why are you still obese?" At that moment I had to tell her that if she continue to make stupid comments instead of just support me and do my thing, then I wouldn't be so "obese".0 -
Not sure this is the right board for this. I have an appointment with a baratic doctor on Monday about potentially getting the vertical sleeve. But I'm having thoughts because of the cons: I can't drink from a straw anymore, dumping syndrome, the constant vomiting, always eating on a 1000-calorie or less diet. I just lost the first 15 pounds on my own (yep 5% of my starting weight) with the first 2 months of my journey. I'm happy about that but scared that I'll get too confident and slack off. Just don't know what to do. Surgery is such a big step.
@BR527 check out the group below since you are required to go low carb for it to work. Some posting there are pro and others are con after the surgery. Best of success in your decision and it is your body so do the research and go with what you think is best for you.
community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/394-low-carber-daily-forum-the-lcd-group
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Life is going to happen, no matter what you weigh. People are going to utter insensitive remarks, on purpose and not on purpose. In many cases, your interpretation is what will determine how you react. I think working with feelings and thought processes is necessary, regardless of surgery or not. Have you considered therapy? Talking to someone about what's going on inside you? Building confidence and assertiveness, and learning more effective strategies are useful lifeskills, not just to handle food issues.0
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IMO... Don't do it. It has risks, and in the end you will have to learn to eat in moderation anyway...0
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Please, stop arguing! I appreciate both sides of the story. I just need some direction on what I should ask my doctor on Monday.
Anyway, I do realize the biggest problem on why I gain weight is triggers. Whenever I lose weight, someone or something happens. And I reach for my safety net. One of the most insensitive comments recently came from my mom. She's said, "if you're not eating so much, why are you still obese?" At that moment I had to tell her that if she continue to make stupid comments instead of just support me and do my thing, then I wouldn't be so "obese".
I'm so sorry your mom's like this. I went low contact with mine and she still manages to push my buttons. It's already been said that these things will still be there after the surgery.
Here are my suggestions for you: go see the surgeon and ask about the pros and cons including what types of long-term impact this will have on you (getting enough nutrition can be a struggle for some), look into some counselling (it took a long time and was painful at times, but many of the things that used to trigger me, no longer do), keep using the site/app here, and see how far you can get without the surgery while you wait for it. If you are having success with losing, you can always postpone the surgery for several months until you decide.
The surgery would not be something I would do. In my work, I have seen many complications. I recognize that my experiences come from a biased perspective and that many people have the procedure without difficulties. Just know that even if everything goes well with the surgery, you will still need to make the life long changes to get there and stay there. It is certainly not an easy way out, and requires just as much work and adaptation. Best of luck to you, whatever you decide.0 -
Plus I've been eating on average of 1300 calories. There's days I ate far less for religious reasons. I don't know if I can function with only 500 calories daily.0
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You have to permanently change your eating habits for the surgery to be permanently successful. The complications of gastric surgery are too gross to talk about here. I work in a surgical recovery room and have seen the outcomes the doctors don't like to talk about. One doc saved the little bitty staple that the patient blew out by over filling the little stomach pouch. It had been corroded and surrounded by pus and caused all sorts of pain and vomiting.
Your mom does not know what "all costs" mean.0 -
I guess the doubts began when I saw the replies here on MFP when someone's insurance denied for surgery after losing 40 pounds during the require 3-month hospital program. My husband is supportive but hope surgery isn't needed. My mom just want me to lose the weight at all costs.
The main problem I suffer since the last time I used MFP was that once I'm triggered by something, I give up and start eating junk. I lost weight before my wedding until one of my BMs said something before our RD that got me upset and then I let go again.
Surgery's not going to change the urge for emotional/stress eating. That's something therapy can help you figure out. There are people on these boards who've had really positive experiences with surgery and some who haven't. Just make sure you're curing the right disease. Emotional eating and obesity are two different things. You can work on the obesity through whatever means work best for you, but until the emotional eating is under control, your overall progress may be difficult.0 -
It sounds like you have the ability to do this with diet and exercise and using MFP as a great tool. I would encourage you to seek counseling and deal with the emotional issues if you really want lifelong change. I started MFP 85 days ago and struggled like crazy to lose 6#'s in that time. I finally faced head on an emotional issue that was really mucking up the works for me and almost immediately I was able to change the going to my "comfort" thing and started losing again right away. Dealing with the emotional issues before doing anything else is going to yield you much greater success - no matter what you decide with surgery. Best wishes.0
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Mavrick_RN wrote: »Your mom does not know what "all costs" mean.
Sadly, she still doesn't get the meaning of tact. Earlier today while I was talking to my mom on the phone, I told her that I lost 15 pounds since my colonoscopy in February. You know what's her reply? "Oh you should try this oatmeal water diet from Dr. Oz to lose a lot of weight." Trust me, those first 15 pounds were hard. That's early morning workouts, changing my portions, the on-going temptations at work, and eating small meals throughout the day (except for Ash Wednesday and Good Friday). Now is not the time for quick fixes from online or a syndicated tv show. I quickly ended the conversation with her.
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I'm on the bariatric pathway too. It will be 6 months at least before I'm even scheduled. But there are major medical problems on both sides of my family: high cholesterol, behavioral health, high blood pressure, arterial plaque buildup, diabetes types 1 AND 2, some cancers, back problems, migraines--to name a few.
I just got under the 300lb mark today. My bmi is 46. I'm lucky in that my only serious problems are depression, hypothyroidism, chronic fatigue syndrome, sciatica, and migraines. None of the more serious comorbidities of obesity have plagued me yet, but I'll be 30 in a year. I want to maintain and improve my health before I'm older.
I've always had trouble losing weight. But I'm trying again.
I believe surgery can be a great aid to those of us who are obese and have experienced problems losing weight. Surgery isn't for everyone. It may or may not be for you. You will have to weigh the advantages and the risks and decide if it is right for you. No one, save your doctors and surgeons and ultimately you, can definitively decide for you.
It's good you're seeking other perspectives and views on the matter, but I urge you to do what you feel is in the best interest of your health.
Lastly, you and I of course know getting bariatric surgery is NOT the "easy way out" nor is it lazy or a sign that one hasn't tried repeatedly to be healthier. Rather it's a signal that you're taking charge of your health, of your weight, of your future, and a sign that you care enough about yourself to do what is requesite physiologically and medically.0 -
Mavrick_RN wrote: »Your mom does not know what "all costs" mean.
Sadly, she still doesn't get the meaning of tact. Earlier today while I was talking to my mom on the phone, I told her that I lost 15 pounds since my colonoscopy in February. You know what's her reply? "Oh you should try this oatmeal water diet from Dr. Oz to lose a lot of weight." Trust me, those first 15 pounds were hard. That's early morning workouts, changing my portions, the on-going temptations at work, and eating small meals throughout the day (except for Ash Wednesday and Good Friday). Now is not the time for quick fixes from online or a syndicated tv show. I quickly ended the conversation with her.
Warning: I'm about to say something that may come across as really rude.
.... Why do you talk to your mother? At best, it sounds like she is not helping. At worst, it sounds like she may be contributing to your problem. Maybe you shouldn't talk to her about anything having to do with weight. She just doesn't sound like she can provide the kind of support you need, and she's not going to change.
Maybe I am wrong. Maybe not.0 -
ClosetBayesian wrote: »Mavrick_RN wrote: »Your mom does not know what "all costs" mean.
Sadly, she still doesn't get the meaning of tact. Earlier today while I was talking to my mom on the phone, I told her that I lost 15 pounds since my colonoscopy in February. You know what's her reply? "Oh you should try this oatmeal water diet from Dr. Oz to lose a lot of weight." Trust me, those first 15 pounds were hard. That's early morning workouts, changing my portions, the on-going temptations at work, and eating small meals throughout the day (except for Ash Wednesday and Good Friday). Now is not the time for quick fixes from online or a syndicated tv show. I quickly ended the conversation with her.
Warning: I'm about to say something that may come across as really rude.
.... Why do you talk to your mother? At best, it sounds like she is not helping. At worst, it sounds like she may be contributing to your problem. Maybe you shouldn't talk to her about anything having to do with weight. She just doesn't sound like she can provide the kind of support you need, and she's not going to change.
Maybe I am wrong. Maybe not.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I finally had to decide that my health was more important then any conversation (which was going to be hurtful anyway) with my mom. Perhaps you need to decide to only have a superficial relationship with your mom? I'm not rude, or unkind to my mom. I just choose not to call her. I do not share really any aspects of any importance with her. It's kept very surface level. If you know she's going to make comments about your weight, why even bring it up? I know for me, emotional distance has been hugely important in my mental health. It sounds like she may be part of your emotional issues!0 -
So I talked to my husband about it and he said whatever I decide, he'll be supportive. But he's also relieved because he felt I can lose it on my own. So I will ask the doctor if there's any food therapists within the center I can go see to sort out my emotional eating issues.
New topic: any good group classes for strength training? I think barre will be fun and challenging. There's an all-ladies gym where I live where they do fun and exciting versions of traditional group classes. I'm going to try them out on Tuesday.0
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