PLEASE DO NOT DIVORCE ME BCOZ I'M FAT RIGHT NOW!
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ME 2!!!!!I just want to publicly say that I have the sweetest, handsomest, best hubbin in the world. Reading this post and the responses just makes me love him that much more. :blushing:
We are lucky lucky gals! 0 -
chill out! 25yrs ago I took a course to learn how to quit smoking. In that course they warned us that when we finally succeeded, somebody, Usually the spouse, would basically say .... big deal.
My wife begged me to stop smoking for years and I was so proud of myself when I finally quit that I guess I bragged about it.
One day (I'm sure I was being a real jerk at the time) she turned on a dime and said big deal.... who cares... if you quit smoking.
I was stunned. And if the course had not warned us in advance that this would happen... I would have been very discouraged and maybe even started smoking again.
WELL SHE CARED VERY VERY MUCH. So just be aware that this is a normal and predictable reaction when people see someone else feeling good about themselves. I'm not saying that he is to be forgiven.... no way... just realize that he is jealous that you are DOING IT!!!! GOOD LUCK
I agree. My hubby had made hints about my weight. In fairness, I hate my weight, would mope, be moody, I would lash out and I wasn't fun. Frankly , I would divorce me too. Plus, with a child my health was going way down hill. So if I didn't start loosing weight then it could come to a point that he would have to take care of my son and me? Who would want that?!?! If my husband was overweight like me, I would push gently to make him healthier too. I think sometimes spouses don't know how to say what they mean and it comes out strange in many ways.
BTW: I lost 4 pounds, and my husband came home with Cheeze-its. I took the box and put it in his car. We had a long talk, and he said I had to learn will power. He was correct. I do. But I asked him to give me time because I had to learn will power. He agreed. No problems since.0 -
men are pigs ::hug::
Pigs are surprisingly clean animals AND unsurprisngly delicious. One word. Bacon. I don't know why they get such a bad rap.
Nom nom nom! LOL0 -
I'm with you! The grass is greener WHERE I WATER IT!0
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i LOVE YOU! BUT DO YOU "LOVE" ME? Good question. Well all I can say is the same old thing that you have viewed as an "EXCUSE" for remaining a porker for the last 5 years..."CHILDBIRTH and STRESS". Why is it that we woman gain the weight to bear the children, but after pregnancy if we don't get that weight back off we loose your interest because of the bulge. Why is it that your negative comments about being "FAT NOW" cause us so much stress that we tend to adapt a lifestyle of emotional eating but you get to remain thin and sexy for the next 23 year old replacement wife. Its not fair!!! Be Supportive Please if you want me "THIN" again>0
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Yes, I'm stuck with my wife, no matter the weight because its deeper than that! As a personal trainer, its my job to help my wife lose weight rather its after having the baby or in general. When you marry someone for the wrong reasons, its easy to leave them.0
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caps off: I LOVE YOU MFP GUYS! (AGAPE:blushing: ) CAPS ON: Especially those of you with the negative evil comments! NOW I KNOW THAT MY SPOUSE IS NOT THE ONLY MEAN SPIRITED INSENSITIVE MISERABLE BEING ON THE PLANET...so...in... essence...YOU'VE HELPED instead of your elicited hinder.attempt:drinker: Now I can continue on in my quest for HEALTH, LAUGHTER, FUN LOVING HUMAN BEINGS and the PURSUIT OF SHEER BEAUTY DRESSED IN A ROBE OF SUPER CONFIDENCE,HIGH SELF ESTEEM AND ENORMOUS CAPABILITIES! Thanks to all my new MFP friends!i LOVE YOU! BUT DO YOU "LOVE" ME? Good question. Well all I can say is the same old thing that you have viewed as an "EXCUSE" for remaining a porker for the last 5 years..."CHILDBIRTH and STRESS". Why is it that we woman gain the weight to bear the children, but after pregnancy if we don't get that weight back off we loose your interest because of the bulge. Why is it that your negative comments about being "FAT NOW" cause us so much stress that we tend to adapt a lifestyle of emotional eating but you get to remain thin and sexy for the next 23 year old replacement wife. Its not fair!!! Be Supportive Please if you want me "THIN" again>
P.S.- With the responses you have been giving with only HALF THE STORY...I would hate to tell you about his really bad side and issues. You might put out an APB. LOL0 -
Kick him to the curb, get up and move for you and you will be surprised by what happens. There are good men out there that are supportive! He's a mother......***** for treating you like that. Lose him and the weight!0
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Me likey your counsel.... The thing to remember is Men marry women hoping the don't change and they usally do... Women marry men hopeing to change them and they seldom do.... If men and women don't relieze that they'll likely bounce around from marrage to marrage until they do.
Too funny- and true0 -
I'm sorry but this is total crap. That would be like me saying I left my husbad becasue he is bald now. WTF
:explode:
Ya know, I have a huge problem with this statement.
If a woman no longer cares enough about HERSELF to stay healthy and in shape, why should she expect her man to forever love her, as she continues to be lazy about exercise and eat junk?
If you want others to love you, you need to show that you deserve that love. We are human - we don't love unconditionally, no matter how much that we want to or should.
If you aren't the same woman that a man married, and refuse to compromise on it, why should he be stuck and unhappy with it?
You need to change for YOU. Because YOU care about YOURSELF enough to want to. Not for anyone else. When you show that you care enough, and have confidence in yourself, others will see and respect and love that.
I see too many women (and men) making excuses for being left, when if they would respect themselves it maybe wouldn't have happened. I don't think its a huge secret of life that men are visually centered and attracted to a womans looks. If a woman refuses to work at looking good, ANY man will stop caring eventually.
I'm not trying to be a troll. I'm not saying that if you don't lose the weight in 6 months he should leave. I'm not sayin he would have stayed even if you had done all that. I'm saying maybe all you people need to realize men leave women for a REASON, not just because.
And no, I never left a woman because she was fat.
[/quote]0 -
caps off: I LOVE YOU MFP GUYS! (AGAPE:blushing: ) CAPS ON: Especially those of you with the negative evil comments! NOW I KNOW THAT MY SPOUSE IS NOT THE ONLY MEAN SPIRITED INSENSITIVE MISERABLE BEING ON THE PLANET...so...in... essence...YOU'VE HELPED instead of your elicited hinder.attempt:drinker: Now I can continue on in my quest for HEALTH, LAUGHTER, FUN LOVING HUMAN BEINGS and the PURSUIT OF SHEER BEAUTY DRESSED IN A ROBE OF SUPER CONFIDENCE,HIGH SELF ESTEEM AND ENORMOUS CAPABILITIES! Thanks to all my new MFP friends!i LOVE YOU! BUT DO YOU "LOVE" ME? Good question. Well all I can say is the same old thing that you have viewed as an "EXCUSE" for remaining a porker for the last 5 years..."CHILDBIRTH and STRESS". Why is it that we woman gain the weight to bear the children, but after pregnancy if we don't get that weight back off we loose your interest because of the bulge. Why is it that your negative comments about being "FAT NOW" cause us so much stress that we tend to adapt a lifestyle of emotional eating but you get to remain thin and sexy for the next 23 year old replacement wife. Its not fair!!! Be Supportive Please if you want me "THIN" again>
P.S.- With the responses you have been giving with only HALF THE STORY...I would hate to tell you about his really bad side and issues. You might put out an APB. LOL
I had one of those miserable excuses for a 'man' and I put up with him and his B S for more years than I should have, but in the end getting rid of him was the BEST thing I could do! Yep, he had a really bad side too and he got to go to jail and I get to take care of myself again, have fun again, have a life again! Best thing ever!
And I do have a bit of a vindictive streak and part of me loves the fact that someday I'm going to run into him (super small town, no way to avoid it) and he can see how much better off I am without him!
So yep, as someone who has been in a really ****** relationship. Dump his sorry *kitten*!0 -
My wedding vows included for better or worse...... not for fatter or thinner......x0
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[/quote]I'm sorry but this is total crap. That would be like me saying I left my husbad becasue he is bald now. WTF
:explode:
I disagree, unless there is a medical issue that preventing a person from losing weight, it's like apples and oranges with baldness unless your husband is shaving his head but would otherwise have a full head of hair.0 -
Well said! 0
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Yes, I'm stuck with my wife, no matter the weight because its deeper than that! As a personal trainer, its my job to help my wife lose weight rather its after having the baby or in general. When you marry someone for the wrong reasons, its easy to leave them.
In the words of Damon Wayans and David Alan Grier on In Living color...Two snaps and a twist from all wth way down in Mississippi. Real MEN love their wives regardless and see inner beauty. Lord knows my wife had to reach way down to marry me cause she could have done better in the handsome department, but she chose me. I will stand by her side until the end, if she will keep me. We support each other in weight loss and in life. We stand together against our children...cause lord knows they will gang up on parents. And...Heaven knows I do not want to be paying alimony and child support for the rest of my life. Do I find other women attractive, Hell yeah. Does she gawk at attractive men, you better believe it. But the LOVE for each other and our family is what keeps us together. So REAL MEN stand up for their women, and will slap the son of god himself is he ever disrespect her.0 -
I agree with many of your points. I do believe we teach others how to treat us! If we treat ourselves with distaste and don't love ourselves it's very difficult to love another fully and accept that love back. We may think we are and that we can but truly? It's simply not possible, we have to first know self-love before we can pass it along to another.Wow, um...
This might be just me... but if he doesn't love you through thick and/or thin... then he probably never truly loved you.
Ya know, I have a huge problem with this statement.
If a woman no longer cares enough about HERSELF to stay healthy and in shape, why should she expect her man to forever love her, as she continues to be lazy about exercise and eat junk?
If you want others to love you, you need to show that you deserve that love. We are human - we don't love unconditionally, no matter how much that we want to or should.
If you aren't the same woman that a man married, and refuse to compromise on it, why should he be stuck and unhappy with it?
You need to change for YOU. Because YOU care about YOURSELF enough to want to. Not for anyone else. When you show that you care enough, and have confidence in yourself, others will see and respect and love that.
I see too many women (and men) making excuses for being left, when if they would respect themselves it maybe wouldn't have happened. I don't think its a huge secret of life that men are visually centered and attracted to a womans looks. If a woman refuses to work at looking good, ANY man will stop caring eventually.
I'm not trying to be a troll. I'm not saying that if you don't lose the weight in 6 months he should leave. I'm not sayin he would have stayed even if you had done all that. I'm saying maybe all you people need to realize men leave women for a REASON, not just because.
And no, I never left a woman because she was fat.
ETA: Honestly? I'm a bit confused by the OP, am I missing part of it or was it typed quickly with hot emotion and a rant as someone suggested? :flowerforyou:
The way people treat you tells you who THEY are, NOT who YOU are! Ie: I am a respectful person; if someone doesn't respect or care for themselves it doesnt mean I have the right to disrespect them as well... Anyone with any integrity wouldn't mistreat others for such an excuse... why not reach out and try to help them discover self-respect/self-love???0 -
Get thin. Get hot. Then get a better man.
hell ya girl I totally agree!!!!0 -
Sounds like he wants you to leave, not the other way around. But let me just share... I gained 95 lbs had 4 kids, lost 65 and stilll working, but at any time if my husband "would" have ever said you are fat and you need to lose it or else i'm leaving, I would have" open the door and said to him let the door hit you where the good lord split you.."" Do for you and your kids and that alone.. I will be married 20 years in November, and i have always told mine if he is not interested anymore, don't hang around, just get to stepping... You don't stay in a relationship for your kids.. You don't stay where you are not wanted, period.. Do for you and you alone.. Also to be there for your kids. that's it.. Keep your head up too and the hell with all that.. You can't focus on making a change if you have drama...0
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When you judge all by the actions of one, you severely limit yourself.
My wife had 3 daughters. Yep. Gained weight with every one. Stretch marks? Yep. Gravity challenging her? Yep. Do I love her any less? Nope. Love her more. Would I cheat on her with a hard body half her age? Not even.
I was looking for the love of my life when I found my wife. She depends on me where I excel. She supports me where I am lacking. In addition to complementing me in every way, she sacrificed her body in the process of giving me the other 3 Loves of my life. My daughters. If I can't be loyal to her, I'm not much of a man.
If you're man wants a divorce cuz you gained weight bearing his children. Cut him loose. He's a POS.
I love this! This proves that there ARE great men out in the world. Your wife and daughters are very lucky to have a man like you in their lives.0 -
First of all...guys like thickness, so i dont understand why 'fat' would be a problem. I DOUBT that he would divorce you because youre overweight lol. If YOU want to loose weight for YOURSELF then loose the weight, if you feel comfortable with your self then dont, dont focus on what your husband thinks! If he loves you then he will love you, where i come from thickness is where its at, but me for example i dont want to be thick, i would just like to be slim! A couple of years ago i lost a lot of weight, i was still a tad overweight, but my male friends kept telling me that i should gain weight cause men like thick girls. what did i do? i did just that because i thought that i would feel more attractive LOL and i cant stand my body now, and i want to be slim, so im working at that. How do you want to look? ask your self that! If he ever complained about the way you look, then you shouldnt even be in that marriage & clearly hes an SOB.0
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If my man did that to me he'd be one I'd send stepping...... screw that crap.0
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Let's just hope he remains perfect! He isn't off the face of this planet yet! After having my two children I gained a lot of weight and my husband never criticised me once. All he ever said was that he still thought that I was still beautiful and that it was entirely up to me whether I decided to lose the weight or not. For better or worse !!
AMEN SISTER!!! lol My husband thought I was wicked hot when I was at my heaviest... that's when we met. Now he's just like a little boy in a candy store as I'm losing weight. But I know that if I put it all back on again (AND I WON'T!!!! lol) that he would still be crazy attracted to me. THAT is what LOVE is about!!! :::steppin offa my soapbox:::::: 0 -
Wow, um...
This might be just me... but if he doesn't love you through thick and/or thin... then he probably never truly loved you.
Ya know, I have a huge problem with this statement.
If a woman no longer cares enough about HERSELF to stay healthy and in shape, why should she expect her man to forever love her, as she continues to be lazy about exercise and eat junk?
If you want others to love you, you need to show that you deserve that love. We are human - we don't love unconditionally, no matter how much that we want to or should.
If you aren't the same woman that a man married, and refuse to compromise on it, why should he be stuck and unhappy with it?
You need to change for YOU. Because YOU care about YOURSELF enough to want to. Not for anyone else. When you show that you care enough, and have confidence in yourself, others will see and respect and love that.
I see too many women (and men) making excuses for being left, when if they would respect themselves it maybe wouldn't have happened. I don't think its a huge secret of life that men are visually centered and attracted to a womans looks. If a woman refuses to work at looking good, ANY man will stop caring eventually.
I'm not trying to be a troll. I'm not saying that if you don't lose the weight in 6 months he should leave. I'm not sayin he would have stayed even if you had done all that. I'm saying maybe all you people need to realize men leave women for a REASON, not just because.
And no, I never left a woman because she was fat.
Edited by moderator
Agreed. I can't believe so many women agreed with this.0 -
I am on the fence. I have a feeling alot of us fat women use our weight as the excuse our men leave us. Sometimes we are just fat crazy women.0
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I have to say divorce him, who would put up with that crap!
If i were told to lose it in 6 months there's the door ill lock it behind u.
And 1: Do you want to lose the weight?
2: Are you motivated?
If it be the case that you are, shut the door on him, lose the weight and flaunt what ur mumma gave u when your slimmer.
Get a real man!
Btw I am shallow i like looks and I like my man skinny, I love my....well he is a *kitten* too most of the time but very supportive of my weight loss and excess skin, i know if he got chunky id still love him for him because of that "bond" i formed with him...If he carried my baby and got fat from it well its life i wont force him to lose it!
I am sorry you are being treated like this!
Find a fault and comment on it.....tit for tat? Is he bald? dump him because you like hair on ur men.....
xxx Lesley0 -
Oh you always have something meaningful to add that adds much to the conversation, I enjoy reading your comments.:flowerforyou: They give me a smile and make me think.I am on the fence. I have a feeling alot of us fat women use our weight as the excuse our men leave us. Sometimes we are just fat crazy women.
I can say I agree, sometimes Women or even Men can use excuses that really have nothing to do with what's truly going on. Often times we blame the other when it's something within our ownselves that's the actual issue.0 -
I am on the fence. I have a feeling alot of us fat women use our weight as the excuse our men leave us. Sometimes we are just fat crazy women.
Haha, that made me laugh! I have definitely been guilty of that a time or two :laugh:0 -
I really don't care if people agree with what I said.
I am giving you an honest to god man's side of things. HE IS NOT LEAVING JUST BECAUSE YOU GOT FAT. No man leaves JUST because you got fat. He leaves because he's unhappy with other aspects of the marriage.
For all the women calling me a jerk - go ahead. I am telling the truth, whether you'll admit it or not.
My Dad left my Mom after 25+ years of marriage. He used the excuse that it was because he couldn't take her fatness anymore, but thats not why he left her. Not because she got fat - but because she stopped CARING if she was fat. He could deal with the fat, he couldn't deal with the self esteem problems and her always wondering if he thought she was beautiful and the laziness and the jealousy because she wasn't happy with the way SHE looked. He tried for YEARS to convice her she was all he needed. Her own issues got in the way of that.
None of that was HIS fault.
You all need to realize the facts of life. I'm not trying to hate on people, I'm telling them the truth. If a man is happy in a relationship, getting fat won't matter by itself. It's when a man ISN'T happy in a relationship that he uses things like "Fat" to get out.0 -
I really don't care if people agree with what I said.
I am giving you an honest to god man's side of things. HE IS NOT LEAVING JUST BECAUSE YOU GOT FAT. No man leaves JUST because you got fat. He leaves because he's unhappy with other aspects of the marriage.
For all the women calling me a jerk - go ahead. I am telling the truth, whether you'll admit it or not.
My Dad left my Mom after 25+ years of marriage. He used the excuse that it was because he couldn't take her fatness anymore, but thats not why he left her. Not because she got fat - but because she stopped CARING if she was fat. He could deal with the fat, he couldn't deal with the self esteem problems and her always wondering if he thought she was beautiful and the laziness and the jealousy because she wasn't happy with the way SHE looked. He tried for YEARS to convice her she was all he needed. Her own issues got in the way of that.
None of that was HIS fault.
You all need to realize the facts of life. I'm not trying to hate on people, I'm telling them the truth. If a man is happy in a relationship, getting fat won't matter by itself. It's when a man ISN'T happy in a relationship that he uses things like "Fat" to get out.
A number of women agreed with you and seems we got bashed as well.
Oh well, sometimes honestly gets a person bashed. :flowerforyou:
But frankly I have no clue why some are so upset, nothing in what was shared was an insult, not how I read it. Perhaps those finding his comments negative (or however how you see) could replace She with a He in what he shared and it would make more sense for those that don't want to see it personally?
I think it works for both sexes in a relationship, if he loses his self esteem and no longer cares about his health, appearance etc. (no not saying if he simply gained weight, but didn't take his health seriously etc.) I don't see how it's any difference than what was shared in regards to a female
If we allow our health, confidence etc. to slip away we aren't really the same people (in how we feel about ourselves, I'll clarify that so I don't get jumped ) that we were (particularly to ourselves). I feel once we gain some of that back the world is good again in our eyes. We see ourselves in a more positive light and it shows up in our relationships, whether they be spousal or work related, friendships etc.
Simply my view:flowerforyou:0 -
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