I feel like I'm not doing something right
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I did that to myself the first time I lost 100lbs. I was never happy because I had so far to go... ended up in a self hate spiral and gaining half back.
My advice to you is be grateful to yourself for making positive changes, love your body for following along in your efforts, and take a breath. Journal these feelings, let them wash over you, but don't go to extremes. You are doing so very well and you must remember the speed isn't indicative of success, any progress is progress.6 -
Seriously?booksandchocolate12 wrote: »There is something that you're doing wrong: you're being completely unrealistic about what constitutes a healthy rate of loss.
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Try some positive self talk daily.
Also imagine a "stop" sign and when you find yourself falling in to negative self talk, literally put your hand up and say "stop". Then change the subject, LOL.2 -
I thought of something else. If someone notices the positive change, graciously accept the compliment. A simple "Thank you" is fine.0
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courtneyallisonatx wrote: »courtneyallisonatx wrote: »2 lbs/wk is the maximum recommended weight loss rate for most people. Even allowing for a big initial drop due to water weight, that is a lot.
What calorie level are you trying to eat at per day? 1200 is the lowest recommended for females, and if you are netting less than that and exercising you can be doing yourself a great deal of harm.
I'm at 1780 calories a day I believe, which is what MFP gave me.
My diary is open for viewing.booksandchocolate12 wrote: »There is something that you're doing wrong: you're being completely unrealistic about what constitutes a healthy rate of loss.
I know what a healthy weight loss is, I'm saying that, in my head, it feels like i should be doing more, working harder, I'm unhappy with my progress and I'm aware that it is ridiculous to be. It's just that mentally I can't help but feel discouraged, as ridiculous of a thing as it sounds.
You need to re-evaluate your thinking. I'm assuming you want this to be a life long change not just a quick fix for rapid weight loss. If you don't change your mental attitude you will back here repeatedly trying to lose the same pounds over and over. I know, because I've done that.
I have no idea where to start with that. I think that's my problem, I've been fat my whole life, dieted on and off and obviously it never sticks. I don't know how to get my mind in the place I need it.
I hear what you are saying. You are making the right steps by using MFP as intended. People are very supportive on here and hopefully you have friends or family to encourage you. I'm not sure how to tell you to get your mind where it needs to be. I just woke up one day back in January and told myself that I have to do this. No more bs about it. Once I started losing, it was easier to keep thinking positive. This will all take time and there will ups and downs. Just stick with it, love yourself and pat yourself on the back with every single pound you lose.0 -
It will all come together in your head, in my opinion, when everything you do becomes about being healthier and being fitter, NOT just about being thinner.
A lot of us, myself included, have done unhealthy things to our body, like crash diets, taking pills, laxatives and more stupid things than I can name.
I'm not saying you are doing these things. But your mindset is not right.
When your thinking becomes about treating your body, no matter what its current size with respect, then you'll be in the right head space.
Make small changes that you can live with for the rest of your life. Like getting some form of daily exercise, drinking more water, eating more Veges. You've lost at a rate that is not recommended, so I hope you are respecting yourself and your body, and celebrate the small changes, and the weight loss will follow at a healthy rate.1 -
That averages out to like a 1/2 pound...a day0
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It cut off the majority of my post0
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I will clarify, I have not been under eating, I eat every day what calories MFP has given me to eat, i work out every other day normally. So i have not been purposefully under eating or overworking myself to lose more, for those of you saying i've lost too much to fast. i will say though, i am confused about exercise calories and if i should eat them back, what if my activity tracker overestimates and i overeat my calories? Or do i just not eat them back at all?
I am aware of how ridiculous i probably sound, being unhappy with the great loss i have had. I have just been overweight my whole life and I'm sure once I start to see the physical changes being made, i will lighten up on myself. I do appreciate all of the encouragement, I don't have anyone around for support through this journey, so Thank You.
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You're struggling with the 'image' of weight loss and your perceptions. I get it. What we all see as an insanely high rate of loss, you're seeing as 'not enough'. It's discouraging when all you see is what's in the mirror. Please, be assured that you are losing too quickly, and need to slow it down- aim for 1.5-2 pounds of loss.
Is there an Overeaters Anonymous or Breakthrough, or something similar near you? They can help you with some of these perceptions that you've built up in your mind and get you the in-person support from that can mean so much with this. 1 -
courtneyallisonatx wrote: »I will clarify, I have not been under eating, I eat every day what calories MFP has given me to eat, i work out every other day normally. So i have not been purposefully under eating or overworking myself to lose more, for those of you saying i've lost too much to fast. i will say though, i am confused about exercise calories and if i should eat them back, what if my activity tracker overestimates and i overeat my calories? Or do i just not eat them back at all?
I am aware of how ridiculous i probably sound, being unhappy with the great loss i have had. I have just been overweight my whole life and I'm sure once I start to see the physical changes being made, i will lighten up on myself. I do appreciate all of the encouragement, I don't have anyone around for support through this journey, so Thank You.
Take some progress photos. Many times we only think that number on the scale is what defines the journey, but there is so much more to it than that. How are you feeling? How are your clothes fitting now? Do you take measurements? Think of the weight loss as a side effect to the changes your are making. It may take some time, but with the right mindset, you'll be patting yourself on the back and celebrating yourself in no time!1 -
For your exercise calorie question, a lot of people find that MFP overestimates the amount of calories burned from exercise. A common trend is to eat back 50% of the calories that it says you burned. Some people don't eat back any. I find, for me, that eating back half is enough to curb my extra appetite from exercise.
It's hard to get your head in the right space, I know. You sound frustrated because you've been working so hard and you want to see your end results now. Your goal weight will come in time. Try to be patient with yourself if you can. Good luck friend!1 -
courtneyallisonatx wrote: »I will clarify, I have not been under eating, I eat every day what calories MFP has given me to eat, i work out every other day normally. So i have not been purposefully under eating or overworking myself to lose more, for those of you saying i've lost too much to fast. i will say though, i am confused about exercise calories and if i should eat them back, what if my activity tracker overestimates and i overeat my calories? Or do i just not eat them back at all?
I am aware of how ridiculous i probably sound, being unhappy with the great loss i have had. I have just been overweight my whole life and I'm sure once I start to see the physical changes being made, i will lighten up on myself. I do appreciate all of the encouragement, I don't have anyone around for support through this journey, so Thank You.
You're welcome!! I'm so happy for you that you're doing so well. If you have energy for life and your workouts, then you are eating enough, and your body is using it's fat stores for energy too!!! Lots of water weight coming off from those fat stores, too. Keep trackin', keep going, it's working well for you now.
At some point you will want to change things up, but not now, you're good!0 -
Congrats on the loss so far! You're doing awesome!
When you feel like you aren't doing enough just remember a few things.
1. It's nice to have more tools in your belt for when you get smaller and keeping a deficit becomes harder.
2. you don't want to go overboard with exercise and dieting to the point where the changes you've made are unsustainable. Slow and steady wins the race. Eat sensibly (which you are) and choose exercise that you will continue into maintenance.
With your loss being at such a high rate you could increase the amount of food you're eating to lose slower and adjust calories down as your loss rate starts to decrease. You're on the right track, just keep on trucking along. 0 -
courtneyallisonatx wrote: »2 lbs/wk is the maximum recommended weight loss rate for most people. Even allowing for a big initial drop due to water weight, that is a lot.
What calorie level are you trying to eat at per day? 1200 is the lowest recommended for females, and if you are netting less than that and exercising you can be doing yourself a great deal of harm.
I'm at 1780 calories a day I believe, which is what MFP gave me.
My diary is open for viewing.booksandchocolate12 wrote: »There is something that you're doing wrong: you're being completely unrealistic about what constitutes a healthy rate of loss.
I know what a healthy weight loss is, I'm saying that, in my head, it feels like i should be doing more, working harder, I'm unhappy with my progress and I'm aware that it is ridiculous to be. It's just that mentally I can't help but feel discouraged, as ridiculous of a thing as it sounds.
It's regrettable that "The Biggest Loser" and follow-on shows, not to mention weight-loss product ads and magazine articles, have given us a completely unrealistic idea of what constitutes a healthy and appropriate weight loss rate. If you want to stay healthy - and most of us do - the most you want to lose is around 1% of your body weight a week, more or less. A bit more can be OK at first, if and while you're seriously obese
The TV kind of nonsense makes us believe silly things. We have to find a way to be sensible and healthy on our own.
There's only so many calories your body can burn from stored fat in a day. Burn more calories than that, and you risk your body making up that energy difference by burning other kinds of body tissue, like muscle . . . and our hearts are a muscle! You can end up with fatigue, hair loss, brittle nails, drawn appearance, brain fog, and other negative effects.
MFP's recommendations are based on population averages. If you set it to lose 2 pounds a week, and you lose substantially faster than that, it would probably be a healthy decision to eat more because your particular body and lifestyle burn more calories than average. I'm also like this. (It's a good, lucky thing!) At first, I used MFP's recommendation, lost fast . . . then got seriously fatigued, woke up to what was going on, and started eating more. Now, a few months later, I'm seeing a brittle area in my nails from that time period (it takes a while for the brittle part to grow out from the base enough to be noticeable). Fortunately, those seem to have been the only consequences.
So (1) you're doing great, and (2) maybe a little too 'great' at weight loss if you value longer-term health and appearance. I hope that makes sense.0 -
If you are really eating 1780 calories, and have lost that much weight that quickly, your results are beyond extraordinary.0
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courtneyallisonatx wrote: »2 lbs/wk is the maximum recommended weight loss rate for most people. Even allowing for a big initial drop due to water weight, that is a lot.
What calorie level are you trying to eat at per day? 1200 is the lowest recommended for females, and if you are netting less than that and exercising you can be doing yourself a great deal of harm.
I'm at 1780 calories a day I believe, which is what MFP gave me.
My diary is open for viewing.booksandchocolate12 wrote: »There is something that you're doing wrong: you're being completely unrealistic about what constitutes a healthy rate of loss.
I know what a healthy weight loss is, I'm saying that, in my head, it feels like i should be doing more, working harder, I'm unhappy with my progress and I'm aware that it is ridiculous to be. It's just that mentally I can't help but feel discouraged, as ridiculous of a thing as it sounds.
It's regrettable that "The Biggest Loser" and follow-on shows, not to mention weight-loss product ads and magazine articles, have given us a completely unrealistic idea of what constitutes a healthy and appropriate weight loss rate. If you want to stay healthy - and most of us do - the most you want to lose is around 1% of your body weight a week, more or less. A bit more can be OK at first, if and while you're seriously obese
The TV kind of nonsense makes us believe silly things. We have to find a way to be sensible and healthy on our own.
There's only so many calories your body can burn from stored fat in a day. Burn more calories than that, and you risk your body making up that energy difference by burning other kinds of body tissue, like muscle . . . and our hearts are a muscle! You can end up with fatigue, hair loss, brittle nails, drawn appearance, brain fog, and other negative effects.
MFP's recommendations are based on population averages. If you set it to lose 2 pounds a week, and you lose substantially faster than that, it would probably be a healthy decision to eat more because your particular body and lifestyle burn more calories than average. I'm also like this. (It's a good, lucky thing!) At first, I used MFP's recommendation, lost fast . . . then got seriously fatigued, woke up to what was going on, and started eating more. Now, a few months later, I'm seeing a brittle area in my nails from that time period (it takes a while for the brittle part to grow out from the base enough to be noticeable). Fortunately, those seem to have been the only consequences.
So (1) you're doing great, and (2) maybe a little too 'great' at weight loss if you value longer-term health and appearance. I hope that makes sense.
This was incredibly helpful to read, thank you!
I am obese, starting weight was 332, now down to 310, so i believe it must be some water weight, and such a drastic change in lifestyle. I'm going from constant fast food and sweets to cleaner eating, only water and hot tea and excersising finally. I assume that's why i had such a drastic loss right at the beginning.2 -
You have lost SOOOOOOO much! When losing I only lost .5-1lb a week0
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You are killing it, awesome job. I think I know how you feel though. Starting out I had at least 150 pounds to lose, and even after losing that I would still be considered overweight. Losing 3 pounds in a week is amazing, but when you still have another 147 to go thinking about that goal feels impossible. What I have done for the sake of my own sanity is chop that goal up. My current goal is to lose 10% of my starting weight every 4 months give or take(I said 30 pounds to give myself buffer). It is much easier for me to think of my goal being 305 by April 30th, then 275 by August 31st, then finally 245 by December 31st. 2 or 3 pounds is 10% of my goal then.
It is hard to see someone my size that has lost twice as much as I have in the same amount of time, we are social and competitive animals, it's coded into our DNA to compare ourselves to others. You just have to step back and look at your own accomplishments. I look at the fact that I already met my goal for this 17 week period, I am over 2lbs a week average, and at that rate I will crush my 90 pound goal on the year. Keep your head up you are rocking this, all that matters is that YOU are a better and Healthier version of yourself than you were yesterday.1
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