Dealing with people that don't get it.
Enjcg5
Posts: 389 Member
Does anyone have a sarcastic response for people in their lives that have stupid things to say because of your lifestyle change? All of a sudden I'm apparently a prude because I pass on the donuts at work, bring my own lunch when work orders pizza, pass on the alcoholic beverages etc..
I'm not against any of these things but I want to choose how I get my calories in and plan accordingly. I don't want to eat free donuts an hour after I had my protein filled breakfast because *gasp* I'm not hungry!!!
Just having a heightened awareness of ALL the food around me (it's a lot) and changing my mindset has helped me out. I'm losing weight in a way that benefits my overall health for the long term.
Do people just not get it? Will the eyerolls stop?
I'm not against any of these things but I want to choose how I get my calories in and plan accordingly. I don't want to eat free donuts an hour after I had my protein filled breakfast because *gasp* I'm not hungry!!!
Just having a heightened awareness of ALL the food around me (it's a lot) and changing my mindset has helped me out. I'm losing weight in a way that benefits my overall health for the long term.
Do people just not get it? Will the eyerolls stop?
15
Replies
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I actually get the opposite. My colleagues at work are impressed by my willpower to say no to the chocolates or drinks after work.10
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If they don't get it, they never will.
It is usually a self defense mechanism where they belittle your change so they don't have to look at themselves and do something similar for their health.
You'll just need to fight back or learn to ignore them.
I have some catty friends that make comments. But they do so in a fun Golden Girls sort of way and know I have my goals and desires so its all fun and games there.32 -
Honestly, most people won't GAF if you just do your own thing. Being sanctimonious about it is what tends to trigger comments and eyerolls.32
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Or they ask me what I'm doing to lose weight and look at me like I have a third eye when I tell them.... I'm not eating like a kitten anymore. I eat when I'm hungry and I'm drinking more water than ever! Amazing things happen when you just eliminate high calorie beverages.2
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Nope. Not sanctimonious at all. I don't mention anything about it unless people inquire.9
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While this frustrates me, I feel its something I need to work on because you can't change other people, only yourself. So I try to ignore it and smile. No way is someone going to pressure me into eating something, this is hard enough.9
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I simply say "No thanks, I'm cutting back." If they press further, I just say "I've planned my meals for the day and sticking to that, feel free to take my portion."
There's really no further explanation needed. They do their thing, you do yours.13 -
They will get bored and move on to something else eventually.
For now, ignore them.5 -
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When they inquire, give a really short general answer like I am trying to eat less or whatever.Nope. Not sanctimonious at all. I don't mention anything about it unless people inquire.
In other words, give them the shortest answer possible OR do not give them an answer at all because it is none of their business and this is your journey.
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Sometimes yes. When people bring cake to work and I don't want any. I say that's very kind but I'm trying to cut back. Most people are okay, some look at me if I'm some kind of a weirdo. One time we had a sales rep come to work and he brought sandwiches and cake in. When there is free food at my work place people go a bit crazy and eat as much as they can. I just quietly are my own lunch with out saying anything. Some people laughed at me. " why eat your own lunch when you can eat all this free food?" As they tuck into their third peace of cake. I just ingnore it and carry on.6
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Does anyone have a sarcastic response for people in their lives that have stupid things to say because of your lifestyle change?
Do people just not get it? Will the eyerolls stop?
I wouldn't go sarcastic if you want the comments and eyerolls to stop. I would go silent on the subject of food and weight loss. Repeat "No, thanks. I don't want it." or "I'm happy with my lunch. Enjoy your pizza." or "I'm not hungry right now." Then walk away and don't talk about it any more. You don't have to explain why you refuse something. Change the subject.
I have some life experience in making different life choices than family, friends or co-workers that they don't understand. They eventually shut up about those choices and they were bigger than skipping doughnuts. People will eventually drop the subject if you don't make a big deal about it.
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Adiemus200 wrote: »Sometimes yes. When people bring cake to work and I don't want any. I say that's very kind but I'm trying to cut back. Most people are okay, some look at me if I'm some kind of a weirdo. One time we had a sales rep come to work and he brought sandwiches and cake in. When there is free food at my work place people go a bit crazy and eat as much as they can. I just quietly are my own lunch with out saying anything. Some people laughed at me. " why eat your own lunch when you can eat all this free food?" As they tuck into their third peace of cake. I just ingnore it and carry on.
This exactly! The kicker was when I was drinking a green smoothie at a work lunch. Like I was doing it to be defiant. Ummmm... No. And it's just as bad saying no to free alcohol.
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I'm part of the no thanks club, the shorter the conversation the better.17
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There will always be people who won't get it. Just keep continuing to be real with yourself and why you are doing what you do. Someone will always say something. It is frustrating and annoying.4
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The middle finger works well.
"Why do you care what I eat?" or "Why is what I'm eating such a big deal for you?"
If you can, ignore them. My MIL is very commentating on what I'm cooking because she's the sort of person who has to talk 24/7/365. It's her way of controlling in a passive manner so when I do tell her to shut up, she can act righteously offended.4 -
helenrosec0 wrote: »I actually get the opposite. My colleagues at work are impressed by my willpower to say no to the chocolates or drinks after work.
This.
I'm not sure how people have a problem with 'I don't want a doughnut thanks, I'm not hungry'1 -
I have found that not making a big deal of it is the easiest way. It is rare that I will be the only person declining anyway. If someone makes a big deal of it I just say "Ok, I am weird that way." and laugh it off.6
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My favorite go to line is "That looks good, I'm having mine later". They don't care, won't remember, won't ask again, eat what they want and move on. You have survived the moment and really can do what you want, eat some later or have your own lunch/treat.
You don't have to say "No" or spoil their fun. Say "Later" and just like their weight loss efforts it never happens.17 -
Maybe it's a character fault, but I tend to want to take the high road if possible when other people make inappropriate comments directed at me (in this or other contexts) . . . feels like I'm one up, karmically speaking, I guess. (And my hope is that it'll make me more boring to engage with on the subject in future, if they find that they can't get a rise out of me.)
So "No, thanks." "Not hungry right now." "I'm not much of a cake girl." "Looks delicious, but not for me, thanks." - that sort of thing works for me. If they pester, then (raised eyebrow) followed by emphatic "No . . . *thank you*."9 -
That's awesome. Most people don't care but there is a select few people in every group environment that have something condescending to say. "What do you call that sludge today" "what's the name of that diet you do" "oh....you are one of THOSE people".The middle finger works well.
"Why do you care what I eat?" or "Why is what I'm eating such a big deal for you?"
If you can, ignore them. My MIL is very commentating on what I'm cooking because she's the sort of person who has to talk 24/7/365. It's her way of controlling in a passive manner so when I do tell her to shut up, she can act righteously offended.
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That's awesome. Most people don't care but there is a select few people in every group environment that have something condescending to say. "What do you call that sludge today" "what's the name of that diet you do" "oh....you are one of THOSE people".The middle finger works well.
"Why do you care what I eat?" or "Why is what I'm eating such a big deal for you?"
If you can, ignore them. My MIL is very commentating on what I'm cooking because she's the sort of person who has to talk 24/7/365. It's her way of controlling in a passive manner so when I do tell her to shut up, she can act righteously offended.
I call that sludge lunch, it actually tastes good and is really good for me.
I am not on a diet, I am just trying to eat healthier so I feel better
Yeah, I am one of those people, resistance was futile.
I have had those lines used on me, especially by certain family members. The thing is most of them are so clueless that whatever I say really doesn't matter anyway, they aren't listening. I have stopped really worrying about their comments because I am not going to change their minds and they don't actually care what my answer is. It is ok to have an answer, but your answer is probably as irrelevant as their opinion.4 -
Bullies are the same no matter what they are picking on. The justification n you need is from yourself because got are not doing it for them. They are not living in your anxiety, tight pants shirts that are too short, having a hard time thing your shoes without holding your breath, a bad self image or the realization that you want to do something better for yourself. You do you. Good luck.1
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tell them : Because unlike you, i refuse to help this country descend into a fat epidemic.
If you can't respect me saying no, then i have no respect for you at all.
seriously, stop being a douche and offering me unhealthy food. If you want to be a good person, start bringing in healthy alternatives instead.3 -
And what an epidemic it is my friend.duckforceone wrote: »tell them : Because unlike you, i refuse to help this country descend into a fat epidemic.
If you can't respect me saying no, then i have no respect for you at all.
seriously, stop being a douche and offering me unhealthy food. If you want to be a good person, start bringing in healthy alternatives instead.
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If they don't get it, they never will.
It is usually a self defense mechanism where they belittle your change so they don't have to look at themselves and do something similar for their health.
You'll just need to fight back or learn to ignore them.
I have some catty friends that make comments. But they do so in a fun Golden Girls sort of way and know I have my goals and desires so its all fun and games there.
THIS!0 -
Personally I have no problem responding with "wow, that says a lot more about you than it does me.". The reaction is typically stunned silence. That gives them a lot to think about--usually none of it good--but at a complete loss for words.4
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I just smile and say I love donuts, too. A little too well.
Taking everything personally may makes me miserable. I figure most people mean well, and don't assign negative motives whatever possible. I've discovered that my reactions can set the tone of many encounters.16 -
Does anyone have a sarcastic response for people in their lives that have stupid things to say because of your lifestyle change? All of a sudden I'm apparently a prude because I pass on the donuts at work, bring my own lunch when work orders pizza, pass on the alcoholic beverages etc..
I'm not against any of these things but I want to choose how I get my calories in and plan accordingly. I don't want to eat free donuts an hour after I had my protein filled breakfast because *gasp* I'm not hungry!!!
Just having a heightened awareness of ALL the food around me (it's a lot) and changing my mindset has helped me out. I'm losing weight in a way that benefits my overall health for the long term.
Do people just not get it? Will the eyerolls stop?
Just don't eat the foods? Seriously. I wouldn't worry what others think. At my job we have family members bringing in donuts and cake and such every day and people eat off of it throughout the day. I just choose not to. Like you, I'm usually not hungry anyway. If I have the calories left for the day then I might eat a little of something but I just don't really care for the sugary stuff anyway.2 -
My boyfriend is generally supportive but he does like to make the odd comment here or there and I can tell he finds it exasperating when I either make dinner before i go see him or fuss over weighing stuff when he cooks.
I know when I went for cocktails recently for a friends birthday I asked for diet lemonade in my cocktail instead of full fat and got a bunch of eye rolls. This super annoyed me because I was really pushing the boat out calorie wise going for cocktails so I wasnt going to waste calories.3
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