Venting and Kind of Being a Jerk, Sorry...

Everyone has their own struggle, you'll be far more successful if you focus on yours rather than being bitter at other people about theirs. General health is more than pounds on a scale, and is all about perspective.

I'm almost 50. I've been overweight my entire adult life. I have to say...I feel better about myself at 250 than I ever did at 150. I think that level of acceptance comes with age. What I've come to realize is that we all have a perception of ourselves and we are all at different stages in our lives and different levels of acceptance of our bodies and our situation. The pain someone feels being 'only' 10 pounds overweight is just as painful as someone who has 100 extra pounds. Pain is pain. We are here to gain support from others and lessen our own pain. If we focus on ourselves and not compare ourselves to others, it will be easier to find that inner acceptance. Selfishness is a paradox. Detach from others' issues. They are not yours to own. Allow them their pain and empathize if you can, then move on.

I'll admit there is sometimes a "I'll give you something to cry about" gut reaction when I read someone with only 10 pounds to lose is upset about it. But I know from having lost an anorexic friend that my pain cannot compare with hers. It just is. I'm not saying someone with only 10 pounds to lose is anorexic. Please don't deliberately misinterpret. I'm saying we all have feelings about our appearance and they are all valid. Focus on alleviating yours.

Hollycat
:flowerforyou:

I know what you mean? I had to deal with a lot of that in school.. The skinniest girl ever claiming she's fat! Really annoying! So true about people going to Mickey D's every other day! I also went to therapy, and it's so true.. many, many people could sure use a session.. or 12.

There was this one girl who I had gym with, all the girls changed together and my class had a lot of my field hockey teammates so we were used to seeing one another in various states of undressed, we were also hockey girls, kind of a husky bunch of girls, and this one tiny skinny popular girl was also in our gym class and would always complain about how fat she was, I don't think one of us ever did the, 'you're so skinny thing' which was obviously what she wanted to hear from the girls who weighed 20lbs more than her, but we didn't, might have been mean but fishing for compliments is lame...and not going to work with hockey girls...

Everyone needs a therapy session or 12. I love my therapist!

I'm almost 50. I've been overweight my entire adult life. I have to say...I feel better about myself at 250 than I ever did at 150. I think that level of acceptance comes with age. What I've come to realize is that we all have a perception of ourselves and we are all at different stages in our lives and different levels of acceptance of our bodies and our situation. The pain someone feels being 'only' 10 pounds overweight is just as painful as someone who has 100 extra pounds. Pain is pain. We are here to gain support from others and lessen our own pain. If we focus on ourselves and not compare ourselves to others, it will be easier to find that inner acceptance. Selfishness is a paradox. Detach from others' issues. They are not yours to own. Allow them their pain and empathize if you can, then move on.

I'll admit there is sometimes a "I'll give you something to cry about" gut reaction when I read someone with only 10 pounds to lose is upset about it. But I know from having lost an anorexic friend that my pain cannot compare with hers. It just is. I'm not saying someone with only 10 pounds to lose is anorexic. Please don't deliberately misinterpret. I'm saying we all have feelings about our appearance and they are all valid. Focus on alleviating yours.

Hollycat
:flowerforyou:

I'm glad you posted, you have some good thoughts! I absolutely agree that a person needing/wanting to drop 10 lbs. can be struggling the same as someone looking to drop 100 lbs. It's a matter of perspective as someone above shared, I definitely agree with that. :drinker:

Wow, people are taking things that are posted here entirely too seriously.

At least it doesn't result in a fist fight in an internet forum. Can you imagine the carnage if this were a bunch of people face to face?

There'd definitely need to be a mop up for sure! :laugh:

I'm probably going to get lambasted for this comment, but I'm having a hard time lately with certain "types" of people. First, there's those people that have never been overweight that continue to complain about their 100 lb body because their Mommy once told them they were fat...Then, there are those that complain that they're fat, but continue to go to McDonald's 4 days a week. I came here to change my life. McDonald's and my mother are not welcome!!!! I don't want someone to complain about the little tiny fat roll that they get when they put their head down between their knees doing yoga...I also don't want to hear someone constantly saying how they screwed up, when it's obvious they aren't ready to get serious about losing weight. Please, don't get me wrong, we all screw up! I'm just a little more than frustrated with people not being REAL with themselves and honestly, I think most of them need therapy...And, I say that as someone that has had therapy and can now look at myself (most of the time) very honestly...Sorry for the rant, I just wanted to get that out. Thank you...

Um...if you are "sorry" for the rant, you could have just put it on your own blog or your own profile.

Maybe some people have different goals than you, but saying they need therapy? REALLY??? Step away from the computer next time you want to rant, find the nearest dog, and tell it to him.

I love you Lyadeia! :flowerforyou:

Firstly to the OP - all this does is show your own insecurities. Nobody here cares or makes a point of judging others, so why are you? Second of all I bet you'd hate for people to assume how you are feeling or experiencing life, in whatever sense - so why would you assume that about others.

For me it's juvenile, petty, and detrimental to the forum.

I tend to agree, venting is one thing, some belong in personal blogs though, so others aren't hurt. I also find posts that start a war typically begin with judging others of us on the board.

People have their own ways getting through stuff. They post or say stuff like that because this is supposed to be a community of people that uplift them opposed to completely knocking them down. Posting something like this basically making fun of the "types" of people that use this site makes me think that perhaps you are the one that needs a bit of therapy.

Am I morbidly obese? No. Do I want to loose a bit of weight? Yes. Do I look to this site for support, tips, and accountability? Yes. If you don't like the people on here then you do not have to be a part of MFP. There are plenty of other sites that you can use to count calories.

If people want to buy that stuff - that is their issue. The most important thing is that on MFP we're here to make a change and it doesn't matter how small or large that change is.... it's important to the ethos of the forum that we support those who want to change rather than deride those that don't.

If you have it all figured out, Why do you need the forum? This is for those who don't have it all figured out or have anything better to do with their time. Who does it hurt? There are people on here who are here because they have nothing else and are living their lives on the computer. There are people who just have questions, need support or are lonely and looking for friends. There are people who want to show off how great they look and obviously need attention. Who cares. Everyone takes from it what they want and you should too.

I know what you mean? I had to deal with a lot of that in school.. The skinniest girl ever claiming she's fat! Really annoying! So true about people going to Mickey D's every other day! I also went to therapy, and it's so true.. many, many people could sure use a session.. or 12.

Yes, and that is the beginning of an eating disorder. It happens. And you are mad at her for it?

We all have body issues. Someone who is bigger doesn't necessarily have one that is more important or bigger.

I find post like these just make everyone who responds feel superior....lol no matter what side of the fence you are on.....I feel for the op for her getting bashed everyone wants to feel validated.

I'm 115lbs are you telling me that I'm not allowed to want to be fit and toned and healthy?

Focus on yourself not on other people!

I have to agree with this - I am one of the "skinny" ones - I want to be fit and healthy too!!

Whew people know how to overreact! I'm probably the skinny person saying they're fat, and I do understand where you're coming from, but Just like when you look in the mirror and you hate how you look, so do those of us that are small. Especially if we were once bigger- our mind don't change as fast as our bodies :-)