Attacked for an opinion
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melltrembley wrote: »I'm not sure I will post my opinion again due to this experience...as it was brutal. I have always been told I am a very kind person and I guess I do not understand why I was being attacked. Anyone have the same experience?
Never! This place is very supportive from what I've experienced.4 -
melltrembley wrote: »I just wish the support, motivation and guidance could more positive and so much less judgy and condescending.
I wish people could hear disagreement and critique without getting personally offended or demanding that everyone communicate in their preferred style. I don't think either of us will get our wishes met any time soon.
It is difficult to tell someone that they are walking into a house fire in a chirpy, decision-affirming manner.18 -
melltrembley wrote: »MakePeasNotWar wrote: »When I first joined MFP, I was absolutely shocked at the way posters were attacked for saying they liked certain products, ideas, etc,
After a while, though, I realized most people were criticizing the idea. Even if they said things like "easy way out" or "take responsibility", it was often about their past experiences with the product, or those of others we've seen fail using them on MFP.
Yes, there will always be jerks, here like everywhere, but don't let them colour your perception of the other comments, which can seem aggressive or condescending, but aren't once you take them at their word and don't assume they are referring to the OP or to you.
I'm not sure which thread you are referring to, but I'm assuming it's a typical one here. They seem harsh at first (and I do think we could tone it down; so many already suffering people leave with their feelings hurt and more discouraged than ever) , but they are coming from a place of experience and concern.
Thank you, I do appreciate your comments. I am finding more and more, even though most people on here do not feel that I was attacked, that is how I felt. I think a lot of people hide behind their computers and phones and would not be so harsh in person. I think we all have a battle within ourselves and not everyone has it figured out or has the will power to eat good and healthy everyday. I understand the MLM $$ side, which I do not like either, which is why buy some products, but it is not my income business. I would rather take a few things that I feel help me stay on track because I suck at will power, than to eat a packaged Lean Cuisine, or a juicy cheeseburger or a diet soda.
I just wish the support, motivation and guidance could more positive and so much less judgy and condescending.
@melltrembley why what is wrong with an occasional lean cuisine or diet soda???
and what is wrong with a cheese burger??? not joking either.
I eat cheeseburgers all the time have yet to have an issue losing weight.
and this is why people here are so against these scams/supplements etc...it makes people believe food is bad when it isn't.16 -
Hi @melltrembley,
I am one that 'liked' your posts in the other thread because of how polite you were. Please know that what I'm about to say is written with the same politeness and not intended to be an "attack" of any sort.
I went back and reread the thread in question. I saw a little snark (which is pretty much par for the course on the internet) but mostly people were challenging your opinions/beliefs (not you personally), which I believe is healthful for everyone to do from time to time. Either you formulate a solid defense of your ideas and shoot down the naysayers, or you end up rethinking your position and replace weak ideas with more reasoned ones. The only mistake would be to dig in your heels and refuse to at least consider the possibility that there is some truth to what the challengers are saying.
If you don't want to be challenged/contradicted about what you have to say, don't post it in a place where most of the opinions already shared are not in favor. That sounds harsh, but it's a fact of life online. People are very open about disagreeing whenever they want. If you are able to take it, then by all means say your piece
but don't be surprised when there is pushback.
You mention that people wouldn't be so harsh in person; that's probably true, most people would roll their eyes and keep their thoughts to themselves. But this is a place for open discussion, and it's not a one-on-one conversation. People years from now could read what we say here and most posters have a great interest in making sure that reliable information is easily found.
Thank you for keeping your posts so polite. You have a friendly way of expressing yourself and I think you could be encouraging to people in the Support and Getting Started forums!
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I think you were polite on your other post. I do believe that some of the people were too harsh, but it is inevitable on anything internet these days. Everyone thinks they know what's best, and it is super easy to be condescending in text. People even start in on each other and get distracted from what the original post even was. We tend to (myself included) de-humanize the person we are interacting with on our devices. People may be just trying to criticize the product, but when they talk about annoying sales consultants or people just in it for the money, it groups you in that too. I can see why you would feel attacked, even if they were not trying to attack you specifically. There is a post in this thread I strongly disagree with, but I am not going to comment specifically on it because I know it would lead to all kinds of arguments. I hate to have it come down to this, but if you are going to be the odd man out and don't want to get attacked, safest bet is either don't say anything or try and message the person privately if that is even possible. That's not the way it SHOULD be, but it is the safest bet.
On the other hand, you will never meet any of these people in real life....so who cares what they think?6 -
Literally any internet forum is going to have their share of this. Some people are trolls and will find a way to make everything an argument. Others just feel very strongly about their opinions and maybe are a little rude about it, but even then there are reasons for that. MFP gets a lot of new people hoping to find some quick fix, so those of us who have been around a while try to nip those unrealistic expectations in the bud. Many of us have tried those quick fixes and there's a reason we are now against them. If they worked like people expected everyone would be taking _____ and no one would be fat. You may not have intended to promote a "quick fix" because to you it was simply a helpful tool, but someone new and feeling desperate would take it that way.
The key to the forums is to not take things personally. If it's that upsetting to you but you want to continue to offer advice to others, maybe consider joining a group of people with similar goals and situations. People would likely still disagree with promoting a product but I've found responses in groups can be less harsh than the forums.2 -
If you where standing right in front of me op, I would still say the same exact thing.
Multi level marketing scams are the equivalent of snake oil. High cost- low quality junk.
You indeed have something to gain from promoting your love for multi level marketing scams. Your a distributor so make money when people buy your products. Even if you where not selling them here on mfp, you still have a financial interest in the company. So of course you wouldn't want to see people saying that the products are junk. The fact is that many here are already aware of mlm scams and do not like to see beginners fooled and deceived . Mlm peddlers prey on the desperate and naïve.
If this products work for you then that's great. But please realize that nobody is attacking you personally. They are challenging your opinion on mlm products. Don't take it personally because it was never meant to be a personal attack. We just want to protect newcomers from falling into a scam. If you like that type of thing then have at it, just don't get upset when people disagree with you.
You have every right to voice your opinion about mlm scams and so do we.12 -
Lolz. A mean people thread on a Thursday. Win.13
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People were asking you to back up your claims. How is that mean?7
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cwolfman13 wrote: »Most "products" like detoxes, cleanses, magical weight loss pills, quick fixes, etc are shams...it's really not a matter of opinion...they're bunk...they're modern day snake oil.
My guess is that you weren't in fact attacked but that your opinion of one of these types of products was shot down...because again, it's not really a matter of opinion when it comes to these sham products.
THIS.1 -
And it's always folks who have just signed up. It's like they have no where in the world to go but MFP to ask for approval on cleanses, herbalife, garcina cambogia, fat burners, etc. And then when you don't approve, they get angry.
It also seems like some people are completely new to internet forums. It should be mandatory to spend one month on Reddit before being allowed to post here. (Not really, but I think people would appreciate the MFP forums more if they saw the contrast between here and other places.)11 -
I can only safely say...its not about you.
^^^ This
@melltrembley I hear what you are saying and agree that you got very negative responses. I think a lot of people did not bother to "listen" to you. Even on the internet people are composing a response before the originator is finished.
There is a lot of support on MFP, I read it in threads all the time. I usually click out of the supportive threads because I can only take so much sweetness in one day. But there is also lots of lively and heated discussion, which in this case centered on your response. Just blow it off an move on.0 -
And it's always folks who have just signed up. It's like they have no where in the world to go but MFP to ask for approval on cleanses, herbalife, garcina cambogia, fat burners, etc. And then when you don't approve, they get angry.
It also seems like some people are completely new to internet forums. It should be mandatory to spend one month on Reddit before being allowed to post here. (Not really, but I think people would appreciate the MFP forums more if they saw the contrast between here and other places.)
Or babycenter.com and mention the bottle is the only way to go.15 -
And it's always folks who have just signed up. It's like they have no where in the world to go but MFP to ask for approval on cleanses, herbalife, garcina cambogia, fat burners, etc. And then when you don't approve, they get angry.
It also seems like some people are completely new to internet forums. It should be mandatory to spend one month on Reddit before being allowed to post here. (Not really, but I think people would appreciate the MFP forums more if they saw the contrast between here and other places.)
Or babycenter.com and mention the bottle is the only way to go.
You sound like you speak from experience
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And it's always folks who have just signed up. It's like they have no where in the world to go but MFP to ask for approval on cleanses, herbalife, garcina cambogia, fat burners, etc. And then when you don't approve, they get angry.
It also seems like some people are completely new to internet forums. It should be mandatory to spend one month on Reddit before being allowed to post here. (Not really, but I think people would appreciate the MFP forums more if they saw the contrast between here and other places.)
Or babycenter.com and mention the bottle is the only way to go.
That made me laugh so *kitten* hard!!!
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And it's always folks who have just signed up. It's like they have no where in the world to go but MFP to ask for approval on cleanses, herbalife, garcina cambogia, fat burners, etc. And then when you don't approve, they get angry.
It also seems like some people are completely new to internet forums. It should be mandatory to spend one month on Reddit before being allowed to post here. (Not really, but I think people would appreciate the MFP forums more if they saw the contrast between here and other places.)
Or babycenter.com and mention the bottle is the only way to go.
Not tried that one. If I need a bit of light relief, I usually have a look at mumsnet.com - there are some stonking arguments on there. And the baby name threads are hilarious.2 -
I always wonder what the OP of these types of threads hopes to accomplish. Because to me, it's like painting a bullseye on your forehead and saying "take a shot:". *shrug* What do I know?5
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Pointing out outright contradictions is attacking? Pointing out that (at the time) the only positive review was from someone that has a financial benefit (in the form of a discount, at least) from the company doing well is attacking?5
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