Date decided I was too fat after getting naked

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  • Redbeard333
    Redbeard333 Posts: 381 Member
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    Wow... as a guy I'm speechless! Yes, you did dodge a bullet, but STILL! What a callous *kitten*!
  • mickeygirliegirl
    mickeygirliegirl Posts: 302 Member
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    He's a superficial d-bag. Seriously.

    To put this into perspective:

    I met my boyfriend almost two years ago (in 3 days it will actually be the 2-year anniversary of our first date). When I met him, I weighed less than I do now. About 15 lbs or so less than I do now. In the course of us being together I have gained about 30 lbs. That's right 30. When I started to complain about gaining weight, his reaction was "I didn't even notice you gained weight". And he hasn't really noticed me losing weight. It took me showing him a picture last night comparing my start date to yesterday that he said "wow, there really is a big difference".

    My point is this. A real man will accept you for everything that you are. He will love you for all of who you are, things that you perceive as flaws or imperfections, he will see as traits that make you unique and not flaws at all.

    Be glad you saw the true him so early on. Now you can trade up.
  • Dove0804
    Dove0804 Posts: 213 Member
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    I wish I could give you the BIGGEST of hugs!!! I can't imagine how much that must have hurt.
    I had issues with a guy a little while ago that I will always believe had everything to do with my weight- even though he had a little more restraint and never directly told me so.
    I am so sorry you had to meet a jerk like that, and I'm not going to lie- things like that are why I'm kind of afraid to ever date again. I'm so angry for you!!!
    Remember: you are SO worth it!!! I know it hurts right now, but keep being unapologetically you. You seem to be handling it with more grace than I would, that's for sure.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,339 Member
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    HUGS to you! You need to remove every word Mr. Wrong said to you....you need to forget his face, his name, his everything....He needs to get his *kitten* together, not you. I'm so glad he's not in your life today, he wouldn't be a positive force no matter if you lost 100 lbs or gained a second head.

    YOU are beautiful. Your torso is beautiful, regardless of weight. It's part of you, it carries you, it helps you to function all day, it's beautiful! Don't let a few well placed words ruin your self esteem, YOU deserve better than that. If you're starting to worry about yourself re this new guy, be honest with him. Tell him what the last dummy said, and how it affected your esteem and feelings of self worth. If he's a keeper, he will help you to get over Mr. Wrong, he'll be aware of your emotional needs, and cater to them.

    And if he doesn't, eff him. There will be someone who WILL love you for every single part of you, he's somewhere, just waiting for you!
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
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    I'm sorry OP, hugssss. You will find a guy that will love you through it all, you'll see.
  • llaurenmarie
    llaurenmarie Posts: 1,260 Member
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    Sued0nim wrote: »
    What a kittening kittarse. What the kittening kitten did the kittenhead thing he was kittening well doing. Is he some kind of kittening miracle of modern attractiveness

    tell him to kitten the kitten off and when he gets there kitten off some more

    (and yes I typed every single one of those kittens cos mvmy6AW.jpg

    all of the giggles. ALL OF THEM.
  • suzyjane1972
    suzyjane1972 Posts: 612 Member
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    Wow.......just wow.......seriously dodged a bullet there.
  • FeelsLikeAwesome
    FeelsLikeAwesome Posts: 39 Member
    edited July 2016
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    Well, you weeded out one that is not a good match for you.

    Sounds like your torso's naked appearance may not be the real reason he said no thanks. Although many would be thrilled if they did, clothes do not hide body shape/weight all that much, so it shouldn't have been a huge surprise to him how you looked without any. Surely he also hugged or touched you in the weeks leading up to the nakedness to get a good feel for what your body was like.

    You're doing the right things to change your weight/health now. Don't let it derail you.

    Edited to ask if this behavior might be one of those say rude stuff to get a lady to chase you pick up game tactics?
  • megzchica23
    megzchica23 Posts: 419 Member
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    Just because one man thinks that, don't let it define who you think you are. You are a very beautiful woman. Just because one man doesn't see it, doesn't mean another won't. Live your life to be happy with yourself and find the person who enjoys the you, you want to be. Never feel you must change yourself for someone else. Everyone has different tastes and are attracted to different body types. There is always someone out there that will find you the most attractive person ever as you are. Trust me. I have put on plenty of weight since I met my fiance. My body looks nothing like it use to and he still loves me and wants to marry me. So don't think there is anything wrong with you.
  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
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    Can't lie: I've done this before. Some things just get unacceptably out of hand.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,711 Member
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    So sorry, OP! I spent about 2 minutes looking at your profile and can tell that you are beautiful, fun, energetic and confident! Don't let those ugly words change you. Ever.

    I know it's easier said than done, but sometimes I use visualization when I can't get an ugly or bad thought out of my head. I picture myself standing on top of a very high mountain or cliff and shoving those words off the cliff forever. Admittedly, sometimes I shove the same words over the edge a couple of times until they are gone for good, but it works. Or, if you prefer a less violent approach, picture the words as thought bubbles over your head (like cartoons) and pop them. Poof! Gone forever.

    TL,DR: this guy is an emotional manipulator and a loser. Move on!
  • SylviazSpirit
    SylviazSpirit Posts: 694 Member
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    You do NOT, I repeat, do NOT want to be stuck with a BOY (because he is clearly not a man) like that. Seriously. What he did says WAY more about him than it does you. HE is the one with the problem, not you. What about when his wife gets pregnant, post birth, etc?! Can you imagine what he will put that poor woman (if he can keep a woman that long) through? :( Yikes. I know when someone comments on your body it's hard, I've been there, but when you find that one who you don't even have to worry about it with, then you'll know you've found the one. ;) You are beautiful and though it's awesome to be healthy, your outside is not who you are. Let his comments slide right off and know that he is probably as miserable as ever, don't give him any company in that :)
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    edited July 2016
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    jessiferrrb wrote: »
    _Waffle_ wrote: »
    daydreams_of_pretty wrote: »
    This is embarrassing.

    A couple of weeks ago a guy I'd been dating decided after seeing me naked got the first time that I'm too fat
    Yep, that is embarrassing. Now. Let me smack you for letting someone that didn't love you get you naked. Get a few more ground rules first. Work this out beforehand.


    ok, but only if i can then smack you for trying to dictate who, how, when or why people get naked for each other.

    You're right. This was a great experience for her.

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