Date decided I was too fat after getting naked

24

Replies

  • llaurenmarie
    llaurenmarie Posts: 1,260 Member
    Sued0nim wrote: »
    What a kittening kittarse. What the kittening kitten did the kittenhead thing he was kittening well doing. Is he some kind of kittening miracle of modern attractiveness

    tell him to kitten the kitten off and when he gets there kitten off some more

    (and yes I typed every single one of those kittens cos mvmy6AW.jpg

    all of the giggles. ALL OF THEM.
  • suzyjane1972
    suzyjane1972 Posts: 612 Member
    Wow.......just wow.......seriously dodged a bullet there.
  • FeelsLikeAwesome
    FeelsLikeAwesome Posts: 39 Member
    edited July 2016
    Well, you weeded out one that is not a good match for you.

    Sounds like your torso's naked appearance may not be the real reason he said no thanks. Although many would be thrilled if they did, clothes do not hide body shape/weight all that much, so it shouldn't have been a huge surprise to him how you looked without any. Surely he also hugged or touched you in the weeks leading up to the nakedness to get a good feel for what your body was like.

    You're doing the right things to change your weight/health now. Don't let it derail you.

    Edited to ask if this behavior might be one of those say rude stuff to get a lady to chase you pick up game tactics?
  • megzchica23
    megzchica23 Posts: 419 Member
    Just because one man thinks that, don't let it define who you think you are. You are a very beautiful woman. Just because one man doesn't see it, doesn't mean another won't. Live your life to be happy with yourself and find the person who enjoys the you, you want to be. Never feel you must change yourself for someone else. Everyone has different tastes and are attracted to different body types. There is always someone out there that will find you the most attractive person ever as you are. Trust me. I have put on plenty of weight since I met my fiance. My body looks nothing like it use to and he still loves me and wants to marry me. So don't think there is anything wrong with you.
  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
    Can't lie: I've done this before. Some things just get unacceptably out of hand.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    So sorry, OP! I spent about 2 minutes looking at your profile and can tell that you are beautiful, fun, energetic and confident! Don't let those ugly words change you. Ever.

    I know it's easier said than done, but sometimes I use visualization when I can't get an ugly or bad thought out of my head. I picture myself standing on top of a very high mountain or cliff and shoving those words off the cliff forever. Admittedly, sometimes I shove the same words over the edge a couple of times until they are gone for good, but it works. Or, if you prefer a less violent approach, picture the words as thought bubbles over your head (like cartoons) and pop them. Poof! Gone forever.

    TL,DR: this guy is an emotional manipulator and a loser. Move on!
  • SylviazSpirit
    SylviazSpirit Posts: 694 Member
    You do NOT, I repeat, do NOT want to be stuck with a BOY (because he is clearly not a man) like that. Seriously. What he did says WAY more about him than it does you. HE is the one with the problem, not you. What about when his wife gets pregnant, post birth, etc?! Can you imagine what he will put that poor woman (if he can keep a woman that long) through? :( Yikes. I know when someone comments on your body it's hard, I've been there, but when you find that one who you don't even have to worry about it with, then you'll know you've found the one. ;) You are beautiful and though it's awesome to be healthy, your outside is not who you are. Let his comments slide right off and know that he is probably as miserable as ever, don't give him any company in that :)
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    edited July 2016
    jessiferrrb wrote: »
    _Waffle_ wrote: »
    daydreams_of_pretty wrote: »
    This is embarrassing.

    A couple of weeks ago a guy I'd been dating decided after seeing me naked got the first time that I'm too fat
    Yep, that is embarrassing. Now. Let me smack you for letting someone that didn't love you get you naked. Get a few more ground rules first. Work this out beforehand.


    ok, but only if i can then smack you for trying to dictate who, how, when or why people get naked for each other.

    You're right. This was a great experience for her.
  • T1DCarnivoreRunner
    T1DCarnivoreRunner Posts: 11,502 Member
    It sounds like your personality is attractive, and I'm sure you will lose belly fat long before he becomes more mature.
  • STEVE142142
    STEVE142142 Posts: 867 Member
    He's a f****** a******. That's from a guy's perspective. If he truly cared about you and loved you it doesn't matter what you look like.

    As far as the other guy give him a chance. I know it's tough based on your previous experiences but maybe you're the one for him and he's thinking how lucky can I be.
  • jessiferrrb
    jessiferrrb Posts: 1,758 Member
    _Waffle_ wrote: »
    jessiferrrb wrote: »
    _Waffle_ wrote: »
    daydreams_of_pretty wrote: »
    This is embarrassing.

    A couple of weeks ago a guy I'd been dating decided after seeing me naked got the first time that I'm too fat
    Yep, that is embarrassing. Now. Let me smack you for letting someone that didn't love you get you naked. Get a few more ground rules first. Work this out beforehand.


    ok, but only if i can then smack you for trying to dictate who, how, when or why people get naked for each other.

    You're right. This was a great experience for her.

    once i went to the beach and had an awful day, so i never went back to the beach because clearly all other days at the beach would be awful too.
  • 2011rocket3touring
    2011rocket3touring Posts: 1,346 Member
    Wow. Just creeped your profile (sorry) and your gorgeous. Unless the guy was Fabio, he's throughly full of himself.
    @SpecialKH - If a guy can't "get the engine running" in his 40s you've got problems. At 50 my engine still runs fine... though I really don't need it. :(
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    In blaming and shaming you for your appearance he gets to walk away the "good guy" and accept no responsibility for his action. Sounds a bit sociopathic to me.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    edited July 2016
    Gallowmere1984 wrote: »
    Can't lie: I've done this before. Some things just get unacceptably out of hand.

    How did you tell the person this though? I'm really curious. Like I said before, I think it is fine to not find a person's appearance attractive but from the OP's decription, the guy seemed to detail it out, which seems overly mean. I don't know if it is possible to relay that info without sounding mean though. I mean, is it better to say "it's not you, it's me" or to make up a reason or to disappear if this kind of thing happens? What is the protocol for this kind of thing?

    I also don't know how you don't have at least some idea of what a person looks like under his/her clothes before they get them off.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    You know there's a technique floating out there on how to make your woman submissive and pliable. It involves showering her with compliments followed with a cutting remark on a feature she could improve on. The idea I guess is to establish a power relationship and keep her unbalanced and always questioning herself.

    Even if it was unintentional such comments are so out of line.

    Remember one manipulative jerk does not represent all male-dom. If a dad-bod can happily pat his belly, you can too.

    It's not about being perfect; it's about having a buddy who finds all dimensions of you fun and exciting. Even the extra squeezy bits.

    This is what I found when I googled 75 wedding anniversary.

    http://www.mlive.com/news/muskegon/index.ssf/2009/01/after_75_years_of_marriage_genevieve_and_carl_jalovec_still_leaning_on_each_other.html
  • getfit_fritch26
    getfit_fritch26 Posts: 35 Member
    edited July 2016
    That comment says so much more about him than it ever will about you. Someone who is truly falling in love with someone wouldn't be worried about an extra 5 lbs on your tummy...and that's coming from someone who has a good amount to lose, and a husband who still can't keep his hands off me.

    Don't let the comments of an insecure, man-child who chooses to put his own issues on you shake your confidence. I know that's easy for me to say...
  • MeLanceUppercut
    MeLanceUppercut Posts: 116 Member
    Yeah he's a douche canoe!
  • wildfire1204
    wildfire1204 Posts: 237 Member
    edited July 2016
    Hugs to you. So many times it's not what you do but how you do it. Don't agree with how he handled his business at all, but glad you found out now before you became even more emotionally invested.

    Work on you. Love you. Someone else out there will in turn do the same with much more respect and tact.
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    getfit_fritch26 wrote: »
    That comment says so much more about him than it ever will about you. Someone who is truly falling in love with someone wouldn't be worried about an extra 5 lbs on your tummy...and that's coming from someone who has a good amount to lose, and a husband who still can't keep his hands off me.

    Don't let the comments of an insecure, man-child who chooses to put his own issues on you shake your confidence. I know that's easy for me to say...


    Are you suggesting a relationship before they get naked? Why would you dictate who, how, when or why people get naked for each other?
  • Dove0804
    Dove0804 Posts: 213 Member
    edited July 2016
    Gallowmere1984 wrote: »
    Can't lie: I've done this before. Some things just get unacceptably out of hand.

    Given everything you've ever said on this board, I'm not surprised.

    Otherwise, lots of great encouraging words in this thread! I hope some of it helps you OP. <3
  • meganmurray217
    meganmurray217 Posts: 19 Member
    Your too good for him. He's pointing out your flaws because he is insecure about himself. Glad you found out sooner than later he's a a-hole, less time wasted and more time to find a REAL man!
  • StuDuza
    StuDuza Posts: 34 Member
    Your reply should have been..."I'm happy your not happy,because neither am I.. Your head is too big and your "parts" are too small!"....and walk away laughing. Then be happy you found out as soon as you did. NO ONE needs that in their life, he has NO CLASS, he's a shallow loser!
  • getfit_fritch26
    getfit_fritch26 Posts: 35 Member
    _Waffle_ wrote: »
    getfit_fritch26 wrote: »
    That comment says so much more about him than it ever will about you. Someone who is truly falling in love with someone wouldn't be worried about an extra 5 lbs on your tummy...and that's coming from someone who has a good amount to lose, and a husband who still can't keep his hands off me.

    Don't let the comments of an insecure, man-child who chooses to put his own issues on you shake your confidence. I know that's easy for me to say...


    Are you suggesting a relationship before they get naked? Why would you dictate who, how, when or why people get naked for each other?

    Ummm...no, I could care less when or why or with who or what people get naked for. I was simply addressing a statement she made in her post:
    daydreams_of_pretty wrote: »
    He told me he was falling in love with me and that everything else about me was perfect and unique, but he didn't think he could ever be attracted to me again because of the fat.

    But yes, please assume that my statement is dictating "who, how, when or why people get naked for each other" instead of taking it as support for the OP...that makes all the world a better place.
  • xmichaelyx
    xmichaelyx Posts: 883 Member
    Gallowmere1984 wrote: »
    Can't lie: I've done this before. Some things just get unacceptably out of hand.

    Agreed. You can't fault people for what they find attractive or unattractive (although you CAN fault them for handling it like an *kitten*). If my SO put on lots of weight and didn't have very serious medical issues, I doubt I'd stay with her. Yes, I'm shallow like that and yes, we had that conversation very early on in our relationship.

    OP, you mention that you're "working out a ton right now." That's great for you, and can really help you look great naked once you slim down (assuming that's your goal), but it's unlikely to change how you look in the short term.

    What you eat is far more important than what you do.
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
    getfit_fritch26 wrote: »
    _Waffle_ wrote: »
    getfit_fritch26 wrote: »
    That comment says so much more about him than it ever will about you. Someone who is truly falling in love with someone wouldn't be worried about an extra 5 lbs on your tummy...and that's coming from someone who has a good amount to lose, and a husband who still can't keep his hands off me.

    Don't let the comments of an insecure, man-child who chooses to put his own issues on you shake your confidence. I know that's easy for me to say...


    Are you suggesting a relationship before they get naked? Why would you dictate who, how, when or why people get naked for each other?

    Ummm...no, I could care less when or why or with who or what people get naked for. I was simply addressing a statement she made in her post:
    daydreams_of_pretty wrote: »
    He told me he was falling in love with me and that everything else about me was perfect and unique, but he didn't think he could ever be attracted to me again because of the fat.

    But yes, please assume that my statement is dictating "who, how, when or why people get naked for each other" instead of taking it as support for the OP...that makes all the world a better place.

    We're all here to support each other. Don't you feel that way too? I do. :flowerforyou:
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
    This just seems overly cruel. People do this? I mean how is it a surprise you can tell someones overall shape through clothes.
  • Bry_Fitness70
    Bry_Fitness70 Posts: 2,480 Member
    That is almost a criminal level of emotional stupidity

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