Date decided I was too fat after getting naked

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  • T1DCarnivoreRunner
    T1DCarnivoreRunner Posts: 11,502 Member
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    It sounds like your personality is attractive, and I'm sure you will lose belly fat long before he becomes more mature.
  • STEVE142142
    STEVE142142 Posts: 867 Member
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    He's a f****** a******. That's from a guy's perspective. If he truly cared about you and loved you it doesn't matter what you look like.

    As far as the other guy give him a chance. I know it's tough based on your previous experiences but maybe you're the one for him and he's thinking how lucky can I be.
  • jessiferrrb
    jessiferrrb Posts: 1,758 Member
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    _Waffle_ wrote: »
    jessiferrrb wrote: »
    _Waffle_ wrote: »
    daydreams_of_pretty wrote: »
    This is embarrassing.

    A couple of weeks ago a guy I'd been dating decided after seeing me naked got the first time that I'm too fat
    Yep, that is embarrassing. Now. Let me smack you for letting someone that didn't love you get you naked. Get a few more ground rules first. Work this out beforehand.


    ok, but only if i can then smack you for trying to dictate who, how, when or why people get naked for each other.

    You're right. This was a great experience for her.

    once i went to the beach and had an awful day, so i never went back to the beach because clearly all other days at the beach would be awful too.
  • 2011rocket3touring
    2011rocket3touring Posts: 1,346 Member
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    Wow. Just creeped your profile (sorry) and your gorgeous. Unless the guy was Fabio, he's throughly full of himself.
    @SpecialKH - If a guy can't "get the engine running" in his 40s you've got problems. At 50 my engine still runs fine... though I really don't need it. :(
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
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    In blaming and shaming you for your appearance he gets to walk away the "good guy" and accept no responsibility for his action. Sounds a bit sociopathic to me.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    edited July 2016
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    Gallowmere1984 wrote: »
    Can't lie: I've done this before. Some things just get unacceptably out of hand.

    How did you tell the person this though? I'm really curious. Like I said before, I think it is fine to not find a person's appearance attractive but from the OP's decription, the guy seemed to detail it out, which seems overly mean. I don't know if it is possible to relay that info without sounding mean though. I mean, is it better to say "it's not you, it's me" or to make up a reason or to disappear if this kind of thing happens? What is the protocol for this kind of thing?

    I also don't know how you don't have at least some idea of what a person looks like under his/her clothes before they get them off.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
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    You know there's a technique floating out there on how to make your woman submissive and pliable. It involves showering her with compliments followed with a cutting remark on a feature she could improve on. The idea I guess is to establish a power relationship and keep her unbalanced and always questioning herself.

    Even if it was unintentional such comments are so out of line.

    Remember one manipulative jerk does not represent all male-dom. If a dad-bod can happily pat his belly, you can too.

    It's not about being perfect; it's about having a buddy who finds all dimensions of you fun and exciting. Even the extra squeezy bits.

    This is what I found when I googled 75 wedding anniversary.

    http://www.mlive.com/news/muskegon/index.ssf/2009/01/after_75_years_of_marriage_genevieve_and_carl_jalovec_still_leaning_on_each_other.html
  • getfit_fritch26
    getfit_fritch26 Posts: 35 Member
    edited July 2016
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    That comment says so much more about him than it ever will about you. Someone who is truly falling in love with someone wouldn't be worried about an extra 5 lbs on your tummy...and that's coming from someone who has a good amount to lose, and a husband who still can't keep his hands off me.

    Don't let the comments of an insecure, man-child who chooses to put his own issues on you shake your confidence. I know that's easy for me to say...
  • MeLanceUppercut
    MeLanceUppercut Posts: 116 Member
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    Yeah he's a douche canoe!
  • wildfire1204
    wildfire1204 Posts: 237 Member
    edited July 2016
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    Hugs to you. So many times it's not what you do but how you do it. Don't agree with how he handled his business at all, but glad you found out now before you became even more emotionally invested.

    Work on you. Love you. Someone else out there will in turn do the same with much more respect and tact.
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
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    getfit_fritch26 wrote: »
    That comment says so much more about him than it ever will about you. Someone who is truly falling in love with someone wouldn't be worried about an extra 5 lbs on your tummy...and that's coming from someone who has a good amount to lose, and a husband who still can't keep his hands off me.

    Don't let the comments of an insecure, man-child who chooses to put his own issues on you shake your confidence. I know that's easy for me to say...


    Are you suggesting a relationship before they get naked? Why would you dictate who, how, when or why people get naked for each other?
  • Dove0804
    Dove0804 Posts: 213 Member
    edited July 2016
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    Gallowmere1984 wrote: »
    Can't lie: I've done this before. Some things just get unacceptably out of hand.

    Given everything you've ever said on this board, I'm not surprised.

    Otherwise, lots of great encouraging words in this thread! I hope some of it helps you OP. <3
  • meganmurray217
    meganmurray217 Posts: 19 Member
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    Your too good for him. He's pointing out your flaws because he is insecure about himself. Glad you found out sooner than later he's a a-hole, less time wasted and more time to find a REAL man!
  • StuDuza
    StuDuza Posts: 39 Member
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    Your reply should have been..."I'm happy your not happy,because neither am I.. Your head is too big and your "parts" are too small!"....and walk away laughing. Then be happy you found out as soon as you did. NO ONE needs that in their life, he has NO CLASS, he's a shallow loser!
  • getfit_fritch26
    getfit_fritch26 Posts: 35 Member
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    _Waffle_ wrote: »
    getfit_fritch26 wrote: »
    That comment says so much more about him than it ever will about you. Someone who is truly falling in love with someone wouldn't be worried about an extra 5 lbs on your tummy...and that's coming from someone who has a good amount to lose, and a husband who still can't keep his hands off me.

    Don't let the comments of an insecure, man-child who chooses to put his own issues on you shake your confidence. I know that's easy for me to say...


    Are you suggesting a relationship before they get naked? Why would you dictate who, how, when or why people get naked for each other?

    Ummm...no, I could care less when or why or with who or what people get naked for. I was simply addressing a statement she made in her post:
    daydreams_of_pretty wrote: »
    He told me he was falling in love with me and that everything else about me was perfect and unique, but he didn't think he could ever be attracted to me again because of the fat.

    But yes, please assume that my statement is dictating "who, how, when or why people get naked for each other" instead of taking it as support for the OP...that makes all the world a better place.
  • xmichaelyx
    xmichaelyx Posts: 883 Member
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    Gallowmere1984 wrote: »
    Can't lie: I've done this before. Some things just get unacceptably out of hand.

    Agreed. You can't fault people for what they find attractive or unattractive (although you CAN fault them for handling it like an *kitten*). If my SO put on lots of weight and didn't have very serious medical issues, I doubt I'd stay with her. Yes, I'm shallow like that and yes, we had that conversation very early on in our relationship.

    OP, you mention that you're "working out a ton right now." That's great for you, and can really help you look great naked once you slim down (assuming that's your goal), but it's unlikely to change how you look in the short term.

    What you eat is far more important than what you do.
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
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    getfit_fritch26 wrote: »
    _Waffle_ wrote: »
    getfit_fritch26 wrote: »
    That comment says so much more about him than it ever will about you. Someone who is truly falling in love with someone wouldn't be worried about an extra 5 lbs on your tummy...and that's coming from someone who has a good amount to lose, and a husband who still can't keep his hands off me.

    Don't let the comments of an insecure, man-child who chooses to put his own issues on you shake your confidence. I know that's easy for me to say...


    Are you suggesting a relationship before they get naked? Why would you dictate who, how, when or why people get naked for each other?

    Ummm...no, I could care less when or why or with who or what people get naked for. I was simply addressing a statement she made in her post:
    daydreams_of_pretty wrote: »
    He told me he was falling in love with me and that everything else about me was perfect and unique, but he didn't think he could ever be attracted to me again because of the fat.

    But yes, please assume that my statement is dictating "who, how, when or why people get naked for each other" instead of taking it as support for the OP...that makes all the world a better place.

    We're all here to support each other. Don't you feel that way too? I do. :flowerforyou:
  • ryry_
    ryry_ Posts: 4,966 Member
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    This just seems overly cruel. People do this? I mean how is it a surprise you can tell someones overall shape through clothes.
  • Bry_Fitness70
    Bry_Fitness70 Posts: 2,480 Member
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    That is almost a criminal level of emotional stupidity

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