Maybe I like food more than I like being thin

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  • llbrixon
    llbrixon Posts: 964 Member
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    Yup! I love food too! This is why I set a goal weight that permits me to eat out once in awhile, eat the foods I enjoy. I picked walking for my exercise ...only 3x week. I. Set my goal to lose 1/2 pound each week and ended up losing more. Be realistic about your goal weight. It is your decision...only you can make the choice.
  • Trish1c
    Trish1c Posts: 549 Member
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    lauragreenbaum148 wrote: »
    I should mention I got divorced last year and dating is about the last thing on my mind, so that may be part of my lack of motivation.

    You had a huge life change. Your whole world view is different & change can be scary. There is more going on here then you liking food more then being thin. There is probably an element of self soothing through food & drink. Not judging. Been there. Just pointing it out since you originally asked if you could be depressed. There is probably an element of depression mixed in.

    Don't despair. This too shall pass. FWIW, they say the gym is good place to meet somebody.

  • dominosmiles
    dominosmiles Posts: 9 Member
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    I had gained 50lbs and then last November I had enough. I started running and eating better completely changed my lifestyle and lost 25lbs! However during May of this year I injured myself. And these last 2months due to not being able to walk I became very depressed and binge ate. It was horrible. I am now able to walk and do light exercises. But I am motivated and ready to kick *kitten*.
    I completely understand what you mean as far as feeling like you like food more than the thought of being thin/fit. Add me and we can motivate each other lol. Teamwork girlfriend.
  • dominosmiles
    dominosmiles Posts: 9 Member
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    Haha it won't let me say bad words. I meant to say donkey. Lol.
  • StaceyJane1126
    StaceyJane1126 Posts: 105 Member
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    rainbowbow wrote: »
    i actually wrote a post about this the other day. I think that the issues you're having is from a lack of sense of self, purpose, a strong goal, or enjoyable activities/hobbies.

    I often see the pattern you're talking about in those who are depressed and only "half-in".

    http://blog.pop.fitness/2016/07/09/519/

    check out the post for more information, but here's some of the tips i included on self soothing and acts of self-love without relying on food to fill our emotional needs:
    • Eat a sustainable calorie goal. Whether it be for weight loss, muscle gain, or maintenance of body weight we believe that eating a calorie goal which you can sustain is incredibly important. If you wish to lose weight we recommend cutting calories minimally over a long period of time as opposed to short-term “crash” dieting.
    • Never deprive yourself of your favorite foods. You can easily fit your favorite foods into your calorie goal and if the item is too high-calorie you can easily emulate it to fit your dietary needs.
    • Do not restrict certain food groups, (low fat, low carb, low sugar, etc.). This leads to food phobias and is unsustainable long-term.
    • Do not look at foods are wholly “good” or “bad”. This is particularly common in the “clean eating” mentality. Unfortunately, as calories are the only determining factor when it comes to overall body weight often these mentalities do far more harm than good. The truth is we should be looking at the big picture of our overall diet instead of judging individual food items. Very often you can incorporate foods such as icecream, cookies, chocolate, etc. into an otherwise nutritionally complete diet. And you can still easily over-consume your calorie needs on foods which are generally perceived as “healthy”.
    • Use your choice of beauty products to soothe sore muscles, cleanse/moisturize/care for your skin.
    • Take warm soaking baths or showers. Bonus if you take the time to light candles, dim the lights, listen to some relaxing music, and really connect with your body!
    • Take care of your general hygiene at all times. This can be as simple as developing routines for your teeth, hair, skin, and nails. I personally enjoy taking care of my feet (via pedicures) and getting my nails and eyebrows done professionally. Some may enjoy getting their hair cut/colored, getting faux tans, etc.
    • Keep your environment at work and home organized, decluttered, warm, inviting, and clean at all times. Your external environment reflects your internal environment. By keeping your external environment clean and clear you can focus on more important matters instead of wading through mental and physical junk.
    • Light candles, lay out comfy blankets, keep fresh flowers, and have an area outside of the bedroom in which you can relax and unwind.
    • Take the time out of your day to focus just on your thoughts, feelings, and emotions. A great way to do this would be journaling when you first wake up and before you go to sleep.
    • Listen to audiobooks, read your favorite books, watch netflix, etc. Sometimes it can be great to focus your attention on something external especially when you’re receiving rapid/worrying thoughts.
    • Practice good nighttime habits including: No electronics in the bedroom, no artificial (blue) light from phones/tablets/computers within an hour before bed. No laying around in bed when you’re not actively trying to sleep. And lastly, avoiding caffeine a few hours before sleep.
    • Performing SMR with foam rollers, a stick roller, massage balls, and hands. This along with stretching can help you connect with your body and help in recovery from exercise.
    • Finding and performing regular exercise which distresses you. This can be going for a walk in nature, swimming, yoga, weight lifting, dancing, and more.
    • Creating a vision board or clear plan for your future along with the actions needed to reach your goals. By having a clear idea of where you’re headed and being mindful of the motivations behind your daily actions you can be assured you’re on the right path. We recommend each and every day finding at least one action that brings you closer to your goal.
    • Finding hobbies which bring you joy or interaction with others. By keeping yourself busy and involved in hobbies you are receiving more intellectual stimulation and bonding with others. Oftentimes we can become content in the monotonous ins and outs of our lives which can lead to depression, isolation, and worst of all… boredom.
    • Taking the time of the day to practice mindfulness and gratitude for all of the positive aspects of our life.


    I read your blog post and it is very spot on with a lot of issues I personally have. Thank you for the good tips and suggestions.
  • mom23mangos
    mom23mangos Posts: 3,070 Member
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    I had a moment like that the other day. I was grocery shopping and passed the Little Debbie snacks and all of the sudden I thought "Sometimes I just want to say F@&$ it and eat everything in the store." I got over it, but I hear you. Sometimes it just gets tough and boring and you wonder if you will ever be able to truly enjoy food. I eat junk still, but feel guilty about it.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,426 Member
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    I think the issue for me always was not having a sustainable plan and thinking every day should be perfect and you will finish by xyz date. I was going to exercise like crazy and "eat right" and it got hard because everything I love to do is sedentary or involves food. I have never loved exercise. I like to eat the same food as my family.

    This time I decided I would eat normally just smaller portions. I want pizza so I have 1-2 slices of pizza with a salad. If I go over my calories one day I try to do better the next day. I exercise moderately. There isn't going to be an end to this if I want to be a healthy weight. I do want to be a healthier weight. It is like brushing my teeth. So far I have stuck with it long term


  • lilc922
    lilc922 Posts: 12 Member
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    I agree with onefortyone, a lot of us go off MFP after a fail because we feel bad about ourselves and I usually feel like a debbie downer whining about my failures when everyone seems so positive. Tomorrow is another day, I hope it's a good one. Best wishes!
  • lilligraz22
    lilligraz22 Posts: 183 Member
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    You've got a lot of people here who are supportive. Some really good advice as well. We've all been there and we can relate on some or all levels. It's a lifestyle. 23 years ago I was about 40lbs overweight and one morning I looked at myself in the mirror and DID NOT LIKE what I saw. I said enough is enough. No more dieting!!!! I realized that I would have to change for the rest of my life. I lost the 40 lbs and kept it off for the most part (hashimoto thyroid made it difficult for a few years) .
    You don't have to starve yourself, you can indulge once in a while. Just get back on track.
    The most important question you need to ask yourself (and be honest with yourself ) is what do I want?
  • kcoh92
    kcoh92 Posts: 9 Member
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    You might want to see a psychiatrist or a therapist, depression isn't something you can just snap out of or even will your way out of. Even with all this great advice here, it will be difficult without addressing depression. I have some major depression, last summer when life was especially miserable I put on another 12 lbs of depression weight. After I saw a psychiatrist who was able to address my needs, I felt mentally and physically better, thus making healthier eating and movement habits easier to maintain. Since then I've lost a significant amount of weight and have learned what triggers my anxiety and depressive episodes and try to cope with them in ways other than eating and drinking. I still eat my favorite foods, but in moderation, and I try to only eat them away from home.

    When I'm stressed or angry I go for a long walk and focus more on nature rather than my pace and if I'm doing enough cardio. Catching the sunrise or the sunset can do a lot to improve someone's mood :). I think when movement or exercise is oriented around better mental health rather than weight loss, it becomes a lot easier (and the weight does come off anyway). I still struggle with binge eating when I'm lonely, but I try to log those binges anyway to stay accountable.

    It's also okay to hate the gym. Maybe find some other ways to move around that you enjoy. I take a water aerobics class with my mom, I'm usually the youngest person there but the music is good and playing in the water with is fun! I've also started working out at home in the mornings using Fitness Blender. Exercising at home removes the intimidation factor (or even gross factor) of the gym. I could go on for days about how much I love FB, their videos are free on YouTube and they're really down to earth people who are realistic about health and fitness; they never body shame and even offer modified workouts.

    I also just want to say that being a size 12, looking good and being fit are not mutually exclusive. If a size 6 is what you want that's fine, but body shaming yourself (or others) will only make your journey more difficult.
  • kendahlj
    kendahlj Posts: 243 Member
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    The absolute key to success in any sustained weight loss program is commitment. You just don't have it right now and that's okay. You'll find it eventually. And we'll all be here to help and support you. I wish you the best!
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
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    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    ^

    Commitment for what? I respectfully disagree with that attitude. None of us are training for a competition or be cast in the next sequel to 300. People can be 25% overweight and still be healthy.

    Commitment to diet and self-restraint is not scaleable long term.

    I think it requires commitment to our happiness and health. As stated in my (admittedly long) post, when you feel good in life and happy with yourself you just don't treat your body poorly. When you're eating the right number of calories, the right foods, etc. you just don't treat your body poorly.

    I think in general, when people start overeating it's generally to cover up or self soothe things like depression, anxiety, and more. In which case they should seek treatment, seek changes to their lifestyle, and seek alternatives (positive ones) that can fill that role that food is playing.
  • kendahlj
    kendahlj Posts: 243 Member
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    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    ^

    Commitment for what? I respectfully disagree with that attitude. None of us are training for a competition or be cast in the next sequel to 300. People can be 25% overweight and still be healthy.

    Commitment to diet and self-restraint is not scaleable long term.

    If you're a size 12 and you want to be a size 6, then it takes a commitment to make the lifestyle changes necessary to accomplish that. If you aren't willing to cut calories, eat healthier, etc, then you won't reach that goal. It's not a hard concept. What exactly do you disagree with? If you aren't committed to making changes in your life, then you say things like "Maybe, I like food more than I like being thin."
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
    edited July 2016
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    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    ^

    Man but I really, really like to eat. Last time we went to Rainbow Thai I ate my plate and I finished my wife's because she asked if I can finish it. I am not depressed ;) I wish I had more money though.

    People who don't love food cannot relate.

    I love food. I'm pretty sure this is just a cop-out. There's a difference between truly loving and appreciating food and people who just eat loads of calories all the time on just-okay things.

    I think one of the biggest differences would be delayed gratification. i.e. If there's a food that i just LOVE and means a lot to me I will save up calories for it. I will fast that day to accommodate it. Or i will eat it on occasion only (thus re-inforcing it's specialness). I eat foods i love and can fit into my calorie goal on a daily basis. But the "special" stuff, like a fancy cheesecake or something? I actually treat it at special.

    What i don't do is eat like a glutton where i eat all of the "special" super high calorie food all the time with no regard for my health. And what's the point of doing this anyway? You can't really appreciate it anymore.

    edit: the above is not a dig at you. Just a comment in general. most of the people who claim to "love food", don't actually love and appreciate the food they're eating. In my experience it's usually just people eating tons and tons of fast food and using the momentarily pleasurable experience to fill some void they have.
  • 44to44
    44to44 Posts: 896 Member
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    Whenever I hear "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels", I think "Well clearly you've never tasted my double chocolate cheesecake." I love food- love cooking, baking, eating. I also am no fan of the gym. I've yo-yoed a lot in my life, and finally I am at a point where I've decided it doesn't have to be all or nothing. I need to work out more to be healthier, but that doesn't mean I have to be the gym for 2 hours every night. I need to watch my calories, but that doesn't mean I can't have some delicious things or splash out once in a while. I will lose weight more slowly, and I will never be on the cover of Fitness, but I can achieve a healthy weight slowly over time and hopefully maintain it for the long term. In other words, I think I can do the things I don't like doing if it means I can do the things I like at least occasionally.

    Maybe you're at that same place - where you're ok with never being at your optimal weight, but you're satisfied to be at a healthy weight and balance proper diet/exercise with some Thai food, wine and the occasional couch potato evening. There's nothing wrong with that. Maybe you're comfortable never being a size 6 again but would be more comfortable at an 8 or 10 and can slowly work towards that.

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