Fat Shamed at Grocery Stores

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  • HealthyGinny
    HealthyGinny Posts: 821 Member
    CoffeeandCats2 wrote: »
    Here's the situation. I am obese based on BMI and I decided to make a change for my health. I just joined a gym and have been going there every week. I have also been cutting out the junk food and making home cooked meals. I was feeling pretty good about this.

    I live in a VERY small town. There are 2 grocery stores here. Last month, when I went shopping for food, the cashier told me, "If I were as fat as you, I wouldn't eat at all. They aren't paying me enough to deal with seeing people like you."

    After that, I did not feel comfortable going into that store and have been shopping at the other store. Yesterday, I went there to buy bread. That's all I bought - a loaf of bread which seems pretty normal to me. The cashier (I think new) told me, "No wonder you're fat if all you eat is carbs."

    Now I feel highly uncomfortable going to both stores. It is an hour's drive to the nearest grocery store. What if the same thing happens there?

    Also, fat shaming doesn't make me stop eating (why would I stop eating altogether anyway, it doesn't make any sense). I'm embarrassed, but after what the cashier told me yesterday, I ordered pizza and cake to comfort eat.

    Do you get fat shamed too and do you have a thick skin or are there any tricks to avoid this?

    Those people are jerks. I know you are embarrassed but they should be instead. Next time one of them tells you that if they were as fat as you, they wouldn't be eating at all, tell them that if you were are stupid as them, you wouldn't bother to try speaking at all.
  • Veryana
    Veryana Posts: 122 Member
    Fit4LifeAR wrote: »
    I am going to play Devil's advocate here. Is this for real? I've been fat shamed before, everyone has, but it is usually rare and very underhanded. It doesn't usually happen straight to your face like that, and it just happens to take place at the two grocery stores? Maybe I am wrong, but I wonder if other things were said and you are taking it for more than it is, of if you are just making it up.

    Just that it usually doesn't happen straight to your face doesn't mean it never happened to others. It is very real to a lot of people. Makes me wonder what do you think of school and workplace bullying. Is that made up too or is it somehow different then because it happens more often and in specific place and time?
  • CoffeeandCats2
    CoffeeandCats2 Posts: 49 Member
    Thank you all........I will admit that today I have been having junk food again (a whole large pizza) because I'm still really upset. I can barely get out of bed. I know it shouldn't be that big of a deal but it's really upsetting and I couldn't sleep until the early hours last night. A lot of you are saying I should tell the manager of the stores, but I don't want to get anyone fired :/
  • extra_medium
    extra_medium Posts: 1,525 Member
    CoffeeandCats2 wrote: »
    I"m just so embarrassed to go back even to that first store even though it happened a month ago. Actually more like 2 months ago. I know I didn't do anything wrong but I feel so ashamed to go back in there. I guess I do need to be more assertive and confident.

    They are dealing with their own deep insecurities if they feel the need to talk to you that way. Keep that in mind, and keep it moving. Don't let it stop you from shopping at that store.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    jemhh wrote: »
    CoffeeandCats2 wrote: »
    Thank you all........I will admit that today I have been having junk food again (a whole large pizza) because I'm still really upset. I can barely get out of bed. I know it shouldn't be that big of a deal but it's really upsetting and I couldn't sleep until the early hours last night. A lot of you are saying I should tell the manager of the stores, but I don't want to get anyone fired :/

    I'm not sure why you care if these people get fired. People continue to act like *kitten* when people continue to roll over and put up with their jackassery.

    This situation is odd.

    Agree. I can see shock after the first incident and not saying anything. I usually think of all the best stuff to say after stuff happens :disappointed:. But a second time? I woulda been all up in that person's (and management's) Kool Aid.

    Don't let those feelings make you eat more because you are not harming them in any way, you are just making things worse for yourself. Refuse to give them that power.
  • frammis4242
    frammis4242 Posts: 25 Member
    sounds like stuff that never happened to me
  • frammis4242
    frammis4242 Posts: 25 Member
    and if it did happen you should report them to their employer
  • 77tes
    77tes Posts: 8,519 Member
    If speaking to the manager is too embarrassing, write a letter to the two managers.
  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
    edited July 2016
    That's absolutely horrible! How dare some random person judge you, and make comments on YOU?!!! If I were you, I'd go to both stores and speak to the manager, have that person FIRED or sent for sensitivity training. They shouldn't be representing their store. Noone in the world has the right to be rude to you that way. Don't let THEM shame you, they should be utterly ashamed of themselves.
  • Caitlinbc
    Caitlinbc Posts: 1,914 Member
    Id be contacting the manager about that behavior. That is unacceptable.

    I know it is hard to deal with but you can't let them get to you. Stand up for yourself and focus on taking care of you. Don't let a few fools stop your progress.
  • Sharon_C
    Sharon_C Posts: 2,132 Member
    Same thing happened to me once. She didn't call me fat but she commented that the food I bought was bad for me. I went home and immediately called the store and spoke to management. They were shocked and embarrassed that an employee of theirs said that. I would call. There is no excuse for that type of behavior. None.

    And good for you for eating healthier and going to the gym!
  • Lextmg86
    Lextmg86 Posts: 102 Member
    This is unbelievable. If I witnessed this anywhere in a public place ESPECIALLY from someone in a customer service role, they would not have a job by the end of the day.
  • Thr33N1N3
    Thr33N1N3 Posts: 39 Member
    I just remember that quote "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind." I'd go through their lines and yell at the top of my lungs "I'M SORRY...What did you say? I couldn't hear you. Did you just say something about the store not paying you enough to look at fat people?!!" Small town.. word would get around of her cruel behavior.
  • rugbyphreak
    rugbyphreak Posts: 509 Member
    Good news, chances are that cashier spoke to other people that way, they complained, and she was fired, so she's probably not there anymore.

    I always try to find an older cashier when I can. The young ones can be a little too brash for me. I was having a BBQ and bought 4 cases of beer and was accused of being an alcoholic with poor taste. Umm excuse me? Are you even old enough to drink? How do you know if this beer is champagne or piss water? Now I go to the same older lady every time. She's sweet, fast, and lets me keep my coupons to use them again next time.
  • californiagirl2012
    californiagirl2012 Posts: 2,625 Member
    This is so sad that the person was so inconsiderate, you are trying to better yourself. Unfortunately people suck like this and you will get mean comments from people even when you achieve your goal.

    If we complained about every single thing we would spend the rest of our lives chasing down complaints. I prefer instead to minimize the mean people. Sometimes we are stuck with them in our lives and we have to deal with them at work, family, whatever, so I deal with them professionally yet envision a computer program where I don't need the program or app anymore and I minimize it. Every time they pop up I minimize them. Deal and minimize. Especially people I've worked with who have tried to tear me down, lying the boss to get things taken away from me, or whatever. Deal professionally then minimize, do whatever is required to show you would never hinder that persons progress in life. Then move on.

    Over time you will find the nice people who lift you up regardless of where you are with your goals.

    But there will be some biding your time. You have to be patient with all of it. Focus on the positive. If you focus on the negative you'll end up self sabotaging.
  • Constant_Nova
    Constant_Nova Posts: 108 Member
    I am a proud beauty school drop out due to this type of behavior. While attending a major cosmetology school, One day at lunch- a young lady looked at my lunch and said loud enough for at least a few people to hear, " no one in the world should be able to eat that much" I promptly packed away my lunch and left the break area. A friend told the dean, but nothing was done about it. the school prides themselves on everyone being accepted and loved but gently forces students into changing IE makeup all day every day, hair, but less importantly weight.... shortly after this incident, the snacks in the vending machines were turned backwards so that you could see the calorie counts before you purchased. there was a sticker on the machine that said " choose wisely". I get it that the beauty industry is about looking and feeling your best on a cosmetic level, however to force people to loose weight with the allowance of fat shaming and blatant low tolerance for larger people- I feel is ridiculous.

    I applaud you for not shopping at either store. its also great that you are sharing your story. But Don't let it stop you from accomplishing something great for yourself. Commence beast mode and use those negative comments as fuel!!!!
  • AmberSpamber
    AmberSpamber Posts: 391 Member
    People of today think it's okay to say whatever they want. It isn't right at all, but use their words to fuel your fire. Use it to make you try harder so the next time you see them you can show them whats up.

    Or, you can say " I may be fat, but you're ugly and I can loose weight. "
  • khaleesikhaleesi
    khaleesikhaleesi Posts: 213 Member
    You can lose weight, but they can't lose that ugly *kitten* attitude.
  • newereveryday
    newereveryday Posts: 222 Member
    What people say about you is more a reflection of them than it is of you. If you recall their names (or still have receipts that might identify them), I would contact the managers of both stores and let them know about your experience.
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