Fat Shamed at Grocery Stores
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CoffeeandCats2 wrote: »A lot of you are saying I should tell the manager of the stores, but I don't want to get anyone fired
Some people lack the qualifications to perform the jobs they've been hired for. An example would be people operating in a public facing sales role openly showing disrespect to a company's customers, antagonizing them, and making them feel bad about doing business with the company. These people should find other work that suits their talents and proclivities better so that their talents will actually have a use, while the job positions are opened for people who have an actual talent and fully developed skill set to perform the job without making a mess of things.
If by their actions these people lose their jobs, they'll be free to find that better fitting position and those sales positions will be open for people who have an actual interest, desire, or aptitude for sales.2 -
People have to much nerve these days no filter! How dare they treat anyone like that. I would turn them into their Superiors pronto! They should be fired if they talk to all their costumers that way they will cause the store to lose business. Sometimes we have to do what we have to do.They didn't seem to be worried about your feelings or how their words effected your life. Some people just need to learn the hard way. I'm sorry they treated you this way you did nothing to deserve that.They need to be called out. I'm sure their boss would just give them a warning then you would be saving someone else from getting hurt. Just my 2 cents I'm appalled.0
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Way back in March when I was still in low 170's/high 160's my husband and I packed up our kids to go buy a ton of furniture- I'm talking $1000's here. When we declined an additional warranty I had a salesman tell me that we needed it because "...you're such a big woman.". At the time I was so shattered and embarassed that he'd said that to me (a) since I'd lost a LOT of weight already at that time and (b) because there was another much thinner woman sitting right there when he said it that we paid and left before I even told my husband about it. We eventually brought it to the stores' attention which is precisely what you need to do. No one has the right to say anything to you about your body, especially not people who wouldn't have jobs without your patronage.
Hugs to you
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Wow, I would make a formal complaint to management. That's not okay for them to say that. Beyond that, know that they are sad, pathetic little people. If I was you I would be really tempted to go back to that cashier and hope for them to say something rude so I could put them in their place. Something like, "since you're giving unsolicited input on my body should I tell you everything that's wrong with yours, or just tell you what a rude *kitten* you are?" And follow it up with they don't get to make comments about your body. Ever. If it continues ask for a manager.
Sorry you experienced that. Be your awesome self, and don't take that crap.0 -
How are those people not fired??!! I would immediately talk to a manager and ask them if that's how they want their customers treated!0
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It's happened to me even though it wasn't as awful as in your case. I was staying abroad and used my limited access to transportation to also limit my food intake. I was only able to go shopping once a week because the supermarkets were too far away to walk there. So I always made a list and only bought enough to JUST about last for a week. One week I bought a bunch of bananas because hey, a banana for breakfast is pretty healthy. The cashier then commented on how bananas are very fattening and I shouldn't be eating them. I then educated her about the health benefits of eating all kinds of fruit and that the no-sugar craze was no something I bought into.
I guess I figured that I can hardly blame her for being stupid.
If it had been more offensive, I might have called for the manager even though that's not something that people really do in my home country.1 -
I applaud you for being transparent and reaching out. What I have learned is that most of the time, it's not about the person being offended it's the person causing the offense that fails to look within themselves, and deal with their issues. Keep your eyes on the prize, and remember that you are loved. It starts within ourseleves and WE must rely on ourselves and God to complete the picture. ( That's what has pushed me to better myself, and I love a good comeback story) Dont't we ALL, Good luck on your journey0
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extra_medium wrote: »CoffeeandCats2 wrote: »I"m just so embarrassed to go back even to that first store even though it happened a month ago. Actually more like 2 months ago. I know I didn't do anything wrong but I feel so ashamed to go back in there. I guess I do need to be more assertive and confident.
They are dealing with their own deep insecurities if they feel the need to talk to you that way. Keep that in mind, and keep it moving. Don't let it stop you from shopping at that store.
This! Every single person whose ever bullied me or said something offensive to me I found out in someway to have really bad insecurities about themselves or they turned out not doing so great years later.
When people see the potential you have (whether its looks, personality, finance, etc), they try to thwart it because they don't have it themselves or even if they do, they don't believe they possess it because a really secure person wouldn't think to insult someone whose obviously down or not where they want to be in life.
2 years ago, I probably would have cried after someone told me something like that, but now I would just laugh and be like "Is that the best you can do?"
I know deep down if someone were to insult me, its only because they are insecure about themselves.
Don't run away. Running away never solves anything. It makes things worse.
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Dude. I would've not left the store until her manager came out.
Rude, unhappy, mean troll.
Sorry she was rude!
I would specifically go in her line and dare her to say something again then talk to her boss.0 -
I'm so sorry this happened to you, people are so ignorant. I have never had this happen to me before (I live in Jersey and that is so opposite of a small town, we have stores within a mile of one another) ... But if someone did ever say that to me, I wouldn't be able to hold my tongue ... I would just tell them that I can lose weight and be beautiful, you will always be an *kitten*.
Hugs to you!0 -
I was a cashier for a certain high profile mega discount store. The management knows that there are days that you are going to have bad customers, and I am not saying that she wasn't wrong because she was. 100 Percent. But with your very small shopping choices DONT let these little girls make you feel bad. You are better than that. One commenter said that you should use your phone and record all of your check out transactions. This is a very good idea, and you should do this. Not only for you to have leverage to chat with the manager, but you can also use it for your own motivation. If the manager sees it in real time or recorded then shown, the chances are better that he will do something. Remember, we are here to support you, to motivate you, but you have to stand up for yourself. After the first time, it will get easier for you to do. Log everything you eat, all of your exercises, drink lots of water. REMEMBER, IT DIDN'T GO ON OVERNIGHT AND IT WILL NOT COME OFF OVERNIGHT. Even if you don't see results as quick as you want, dont give up. It takes your body time to adjust and catch up with you. People put others down because there is something in their life that they dont like, so to make them feel better, they have to be mean to someone else. We are here for you. Just dont give up on yourself. Feel free to send me a friend request as I also need support and motivation.. YOU GOT THIS !!! I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!! YOU ARE A STRONG PERSON!!!2
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This one time I was fat-shamed by a whole town of people so I got back at them by making myself sick at a pie eating contest. After completing several pies, I started to vomit all over Bill Travis. Before he knew it, he was covered with five pies worth of used blueberries. The women in the audience screamed. Bossman Bob Cormier took one look at Bill Travis and barfed on Principal Wiggins, who barfed on the lumberjack that was sitting next to him. Mayor Grundy barfed on his wife's t.i.t.s. But when the smell hit the crowd, that's when my plan really started to work. Girlfriends barfed on boyfriends. Kids barfed on their parents. A fat lady barfed in her purse. The Donnelley twins barfed on each other, and the Women's Auxiliary barfed all over the Benevolent Order of Antelopes. And I just sat back and enjoyed what I'd created-a complete and total barf-o-rama!22
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benjaminhk wrote: »This one time I was fat-shamed by a whole town of people so I got back at them by making myself sick at a pie eating contest. After completing several pies, I started to vomit all over Bill Travis. Before he knew it, he was covered with five pies worth of used blueberries. The women in the audience screamed. Bossman Bob Cormier took one look at Bill Travis and barfed on Principal Wiggins, who barfed on the lumberjack that was sitting next to him. Mayor Grundy barfed on his wife's t.i.t.s. But when the smell hit the crowd, that's when my plan really started to work. Girlfriends barfed on boyfriends. Kids barfed on their parents. A fat lady barfed in her purse. The Donnelley twins barfed on each other, and the Women's Auxiliary barfed all over the Benevolent Order of Antelopes. And I just sat back and enjoyed what I'd created-a complete and total barf-o-rama!
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Alluminati wrote: »Those people should go trip, fall, and break both of their legs. They suck.
If that every happens to you ever again at any store, your response should be to look them in the eye and say "go get your boss and bring them here immediately". And stare at them until they do, no matter what they say or how they protest. Hell, even take out your cell and dial the store number and hope it has a switchboard that allows you to call the manager's office directly.
Barring that, get the store email address or mailing address. Write and send an email/letter immediately that day. Take note of the cashier's name tag so you can name names, as is appropriate in this situation.
But if you want a come back, I agree with a poster above who mentioned to have one prepared.
"No wonder you're fat if all you eat is carbs" gets a response of "No wonder you work as a cashier since your brain isn't capable of doing anything worthwhile." (Not that you actually have to think being a cashier isn't worthwhile, but you can still say it!)
"They don't pay me enough blah blah" gets "Actually I think they're paying you too much. You better believe I'll be working on getting you fired. Then you won't be paid at all." Or something.
Fine, but please don't do this OP. Most likely I'll be the one next in line and stuck while you guys duke it out and I have to pee. I always pick the wrong lines, i swear. Take your issues to customer service and keep it moving people!
This has been a public service announcement.
If I were the person behind her and I heard that, you bet I wouldn't be standing there telling her to get out of her way. I'd be telling her I'm willing to back up her story.
But customer service is an option too. I just doubt it would be as effective - especially in a small town grocery store that likely doesn't have a customer service area.1 -
SingRunTing wrote: »benjaminhk wrote: »This one time I was fat-shamed by a whole town of people so I got back at them by making myself sick at a pie eating contest. After completing several pies, I started to vomit all over Bill Travis. Before he knew it, he was covered with five pies worth of used blueberries. The women in the audience screamed. Bossman Bob Cormier took one look at Bill Travis and barfed on Principal Wiggins, who barfed on the lumberjack that was sitting next to him. Mayor Grundy barfed on his wife's t.i.t.s. But when the smell hit the crowd, that's when my plan really started to work. Girlfriends barfed on boyfriends. Kids barfed on their parents. A fat lady barfed in her purse. The Donnelley twins barfed on each other, and the Women's Auxiliary barfed all over the Benevolent Order of Antelopes. And I just sat back and enjoyed what I'd created-a complete and total barf-o-rama!
Re-post for the brilliant Prince gif!!8 -
Alluminati wrote: »Those people should go trip, fall, and break both of their legs. They suck.
If that every happens to you ever again at any store, your response should be to look them in the eye and say "go get your boss and bring them here immediately". And stare at them until they do, no matter what they say or how they protest. Hell, even take out your cell and dial the store number and hope it has a switchboard that allows you to call the manager's office directly.
Barring that, get the store email address or mailing address. Write and send an email/letter immediately that day. Take note of the cashier's name tag so you can name names, as is appropriate in this situation.
But if you want a come back, I agree with a poster above who mentioned to have one prepared.
"No wonder you're fat if all you eat is carbs" gets a response of "No wonder you work as a cashier since your brain isn't capable of doing anything worthwhile." (Not that you actually have to think being a cashier isn't worthwhile, but you can still say it!)
"They don't pay me enough blah blah" gets "Actually I think they're paying you too much. You better believe I'll be working on getting you fired. Then you won't be paid at all." Or something.
Fine, but please don't do this OP. Most likely I'll be the one next in line and stuck while you guys duke it out and I have to pee. I always pick the wrong lines, i swear. Take your issues to customer service and keep it moving people!
This has been a public service announcement.
If I were the person behind her and I heard that, you bet I wouldn't be standing there telling her to get out of her way. I'd be telling her I'm willing to back up her story.
But customer service is an option too. I just doubt it would be as effective - especially in a small town grocery store that likely doesn't have a customer service area.
The post was tongue in cheek but I would hope that you and OP would be respectful of everyone else that's in the line behind who want to just pay for their jug of milk or tampons and go instead of being caught up in the drama.
Every modern grocery store I have been to from the city to the country has a customer service counter for people who have issues/returns/questions, specifically designated so the lines in a supermarket are not held up. *shrug*1 -
StealthHealth wrote: »SingRunTing wrote: »benjaminhk wrote: »This one time I was fat-shamed by a whole town of people so I got back at them by making myself sick at a pie eating contest. After completing several pies, I started to vomit all over Bill Travis. Before he knew it, he was covered with five pies worth of used blueberries. The women in the audience screamed. Bossman Bob Cormier took one look at Bill Travis and barfed on Principal Wiggins, who barfed on the lumberjack that was sitting next to him. Mayor Grundy barfed on his wife's t.i.t.s. But when the smell hit the crowd, that's when my plan really started to work. Girlfriends barfed on boyfriends. Kids barfed on their parents. A fat lady barfed in her purse. The Donnelley twins barfed on each other, and the Women's Auxiliary barfed all over the Benevolent Order of Antelopes. And I just sat back and enjoyed what I'd created-a complete and total barf-o-rama!
Re-post for the brilliant Prince gif!!
Repost of a repost because I literally laughed out loud. The whole thing was brilliant!0 -
CoffeeandCats2 wrote: »Hm, I see your point about telling the boss. I guess I Just feel it might be a bit extreme to possibly have them lose their job over this. I know it's my fault for not having enough self control to not comfort eat after this and that's my responsibility. Maybe I can just call the stores and tell them but not say who it is. Then they would probably mention it to everyone who works there.
Really grateful for the support...it's been emotionally hard, I'm sensitive.
Not sure what to make of the comments that I made this up. How would it benefit me to get advice about a fictional thing?
I"m going to try to stop comfort eating and get back to my routine of cutting out the junk food and exercising. I do want to be healthy.
There's so much wrong in these posts. I can't believe two separate cashiers in two totally different stores talked to you this way? And you didn't do anything about it? Where do you live that people talk to strangers like this? I would have no issues getting them fired!
And I know this sounds horrible, but you are at fault for the comfort eating. You're giving way too much control to these people who don't even know you. Girl, get your head out of the sand and care about yourself a little. Does the comfort eating make you feel better? Maybe for ten minutes, right? Don't derail any progress you've made because of the comments of strangers.
And yes, if it was me and I would have demanded to speak to a manager NOW and then proceeded to write a letter to corporate.3 -
CoffeeandCats2 wrote: »Hm, I see your point about telling the boss. I guess I Just feel it might be a bit extreme to possibly have them lose their job over this. I know it's my fault for not having enough self control to not comfort eat after this and that's my responsibility. Maybe I can just call the stores and tell them but not say who it is. Then they would probably mention it to everyone who works there.
Really grateful for the support...it's been emotionally hard, I'm sensitive.
Not sure what to make of the comments that I made this up. How would it benefit me to get advice about a fictional thing?
I"m going to try to stop comfort eating and get back to my routine of cutting out the junk food and exercising. I do want to be healthy.
It's good to take responsibility for your decision to deal with your feelings by overeating. Yes, your choices about food are your own, and nobody made you do it. HOWEVER, the people who made these terribly rude comments to you are responsible for THEIR actions, too. They didn't just hurt you (which is bad enough). They hurt the reputation of their stores. (If I was grocery shopping, and I overheard a cashier making rude remarks like that, I wouldn't want to shop there anymore either! Is she going to judge my purchases, too? I buy a LOT of food every time I shop, because I have a large family. I don't want to deal with rudeness about that.) They also lost their store a customer (you). Not to mention setting up an expectation that such comments are acceptable, which might lead to that cashier making more comments or to other cashiers doing the same. If I was a manager, I would definitely want to know about this and deal with it harshly. It is absolutely NOT acceptable, even from a purely business sense.
This whole thing just makes me so angry. I've dealt with a few rude comments from strangers in my time, usually about my large family. When it happens to me, I'm so taken aback that I don't know what to say. But on the occasion that I've seen it happen to someone else, for whatever reason, I can't help but speak up. Bullying like this is NOT ok, and ought to be confronted whenever it happens.1 -
i was in aldi few months back and this lady went absolutely crazy because they wouldn't let her take her basket full of shopping to the car. you are not allowed to take baskets out of the shop
sooooooooooooo
i dont really understand this story. there is no way i would be giving my money to any cashier insulting me. i wouldnt slap them but we would insult each other until the manager is paged. I dont understand this situation.Also the cashier is some rude stranger, why let them get into your head?1
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