Just a vent about stupid comments

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124

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  • briscogun
    briscogun Posts: 1,135 Member
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    In the words of Bono: "Don't let the *kitten* grind you down."

    There are too many Keyboard Warriors out there who just type whatever stupid thing pops into their mind and type it out because there are no repercussions whatsoever. They would never say these things to a stranger let alone a friend, but they throw it out there with no thought of the other person because they will never have to answer for it.

    Just let it go. It's not worth it. Just know that when you put something out on the interwebz you may get some monkey throwing feces in his cage...
  • KetoneKaren
    KetoneKaren Posts: 6,411 Member
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    @Wolfena makes a valid point. This time I am not talking about my journey AT ALL at work, so if someone brings it up it is totally unsolicited and I feel free to say, "I don't discuss my weight and appearance with anyone but my doctor".
  • hcolligan
    hcolligan Posts: 75 Member
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    NewSouthernBelle wrote: »
    I completely understand why you would feel strange and offended by such a comment. However, seeing it from the sideline to me it is obvious that such a comment is NOT about you or your appearence - at all. My mom has a habit of making very inappropriate comments, which has taught me to breathe deep and remind myself, that those comments are about her insecurities - not me. You feel great and it probably shows. That can trigger insecurity in other people, over which we have no control.

    I agree but it can be very difficult sometimes. My mum has said more about my body/face since I lost weight than when I was obese. It's worse when the comments come from family.
  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,464 Member
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    Most 12 year olds would die to look as fabulous as you do! Great work! Ignore the naysayers.
  • nat8199
    nat8199 Posts: 39 Member
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    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    I don't get that (at 5'5", around 120 pounds, literally no breasts (post-mastectomy)) - I'm more likely to get "skin & bones" kinds of things, or hints that I look older (no one's come right out and said it, though). Maybe when one is 60 rather than 45 . . . ? (Just kidding!) Regardless . . .

    I. Do. Not. Care.

    For me, this is all about my health & how I feel. I don't give a rat's patootie about my appearance. I'm happy & confident. What's relevant for me:
    • The lighter I am, the less my messed-up knees hurt (torn meniscus, arthritis) - dramatically less, in fact.
    • The American Cancer Society says "Be as lean as possible throughout life without being underweight." As a survivor of stage III breast cancer, I care about their recommendations.
    • Blood pressure and cholesterol/triglycerides, formerly unhealthily high, are now solidly in the normal range.
    • I've consulted my doctor about my weight goals, and we concur that things are fine.
    • I'm much more active, physically stronger, on fewer meds, and generally healthier than anyone who's said anything remotely like this to me.

    So, nanny-nanny-boo-boo, critics: Thanks for your concern, but I think I'll just keep on being me.

    OP, you may be unusual for your age group . . . but sometimes that's a good thing.

    (An aside: Appearance critiques seem to be the way to make digs at women in our culture, regardless of whether appearance is relevant to the topic at hand. SMH.)

    This is one of the best posts I have read on here. Thank you!!!!
  • StevieFishwick
    StevieFishwick Posts: 27 Member
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    Some people are so miserable that they want everyone around them to be just as miserable!
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 32,721 Member
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    nat8199 wrote: »
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    I don't get that (at 5'5", around 120 pounds, literally no breasts (post-mastectomy)) - I'm more likely to get "skin & bones" kinds of things, or hints that I look older (no one's come right out and said it, though). Maybe when one is 60 rather than 45 . . . ? (Just kidding!) Regardless . . .

    I. Do. Not. Care.

    For me, this is all about my health & how I feel. I don't give a rat's patootie about my appearance. I'm happy & confident. What's relevant for me:
    • The lighter I am, the less my messed-up knees hurt (torn meniscus, arthritis) - dramatically less, in fact.
    • The American Cancer Society says "Be as lean as possible throughout life without being underweight." As a survivor of stage III breast cancer, I care about their recommendations.
    • Blood pressure and cholesterol/triglycerides, formerly unhealthily high, are now solidly in the normal range.
    • I've consulted my doctor about my weight goals, and we concur that things are fine.
    • I'm much more active, physically stronger, on fewer meds, and generally healthier than anyone who's said anything remotely like this to me.

    So, nanny-nanny-boo-boo, critics: Thanks for your concern, but I think I'll just keep on being me.

    OP, you may be unusual for your age group . . . but sometimes that's a good thing.

    (An aside: Appearance critiques seem to be the way to make digs at women in our culture, regardless of whether appearance is relevant to the topic at hand. SMH.)

    This is one of the best posts I have read on here. Thank you!!!!

    (Blush) Thanks!
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,306 Member
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    I don't understand why people want to say something to make you feel bad. I disagree that these are innocent comments.. Telling a 45 year old women she looks 12 is mean…and telling a person who achieved weightless..to eat a donut is just jealousy talking. Take it is as compliment.. your success bugs these average women who don't have the will power to change their life you did yours.
  • leahkathleen13
    leahkathleen13 Posts: 272 Member
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    You are gorgeous! Excellent job. Having haters means that you have got it going on. Congrats on your success!
  • kimberlyblindsey
    kimberlyblindsey Posts: 266 Member
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    I agree with the commenter above, Sunny Beaches, I think just say "thank-you". It will probably not be what they expect, and it's some kind of problem or issue on their part not yours.
  • RosieRose7673
    RosieRose7673 Posts: 438 Member
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    wi_maint_man wrote: »
    As they say on the internet " Haters gonna hate"

    Doesn't Taylor Swift say that too? :wink:
  • feisty_bucket
    feisty_bucket Posts: 1,047 Member
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    CindyFooWho wrote: »
    I'm 45, in fact, and many women in my circle of friends are a bit heavier. And that's FINE, I think they're beautiful. But perhaps they think that's the way I should also appear? As if, I'm freakish for my age group? (I'm not) Maybe? I don't know.

    You don't have to qualify it. You're unusually fit for your age. There are numerous studies showing women becoming hostile at ones they perceive as more attractive. So yeah, the responses saying "it's jealousy" are likely correct.
  • joolie1234
    joolie1234 Posts: 126 Member
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    Haters gonna hate. ;)
  • bridgettebailey99
    bridgettebailey99 Posts: 2 Member
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    CindyFooWho wrote: »
    I'm really trying to take some of the comments I've been receiving in the spirit with which they were (I hope) intended, but sometimes it's hard. I've received the usual, "geez, eat a donut or something" but the most recent one really kind of bothered me. It was "you look like a 12 year old." I'm sorry, was that at all supposed to be flattering? I look like a CHILD?

    Just to paint a picture, I'm 125 lbs at 5' 4". Slightly muscular. Seems perfectly normal to me and I feel fantastic. I feel normal and strong. I'm not dieting and am upping my calories weekly to find maintenance. Anyway, the critiques get hard to listen to sometimes.

    I think the problem is that I'm FAR from 12. I'm 45, in fact, and many women in my circle of friends are a bit heavier. And that's FINE, I think they're beautiful. But perhaps they think that's the way I should also appear? As if, I'm freakish for my age group? (I'm not) Maybe? I don't know.

    Anyway, no real question here, just getting it off my chest. Frustrated & trying to ignore it.

    Please do ignore it. There are so many haters in the world girl. Don't listen to them. You are perfect. If you don't believe in God I am sorry but that is the way he made you. Be happy. And keep up the great work.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
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    That's why I get along better with men than women, honestly..
  • nickisa28
    nickisa28 Posts: 116 Member
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    People are ignorant! I was at my exercise class (it's a class that is basically strength training). Anyway most of us are there to lose weight and one girl is there to gain and bulk up. She's very small and very pretty but wants more curves so is working on it. At her first class I saw some of the others make snide comments and one even said 'ffs what's she doing here? There should be a bloody minimum weight to come to this class' I'm sure she meant it in jest and just said it make her friends laugh but she didn't stop to think how it would make this poor girl feel. I was that girl once and got lots of comments like this. I don't know why people think calling me a '****ing skinny bit**' was funny but wouldn't dream of calling an overweight person and ****ing fat bit**. Sorry I'm ranting with you now! Not helpful. Anyway, if they don't matter to you, ignore them. If they do matter to you, tell them how their comments make you feel. They may not know x
  • kendahlj
    kendahlj Posts: 243 Member
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    My wife is in her 40s and if someone told her she looked 12 she'd give them a hug, not complain about it in a forum...
  • kltodd927
    kltodd927 Posts: 4 Member
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    I know exactly how you feel! I'm 5'4"as well and weigh 120. I work out regularly and have maintained a 50 pound weight loss for a year. (I am 44 years old). For a long time, friends/coworkers would tell me that I need to eat or that I'm too skinny. They would ask if I ever eat... I eat all of the time! I just eat healthy. One friend even said she hated me for losing weight and then laughed and said "just kidding". I think it was hard for them to get used to seeing me small and in shape. Finally, they are getting used to the new me and I don't get comments nearly as much. I'm sure your friends will adjust and accept the new you. Don't let anyone steal your joy or make you feel bad for your accomplishments!!! You did the work!!
  • wendypark811
    wendypark811 Posts: 65 Member
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    My Sister and brother in law (who are very large in size) came to visit me afew weeks ago. The brother in law under his breath but enough for me to hear "look at the state of you' I went 'what'. It then went into a horrid attack
    Your too thin, the trainers at the gym are risking your life, your turning into someone with anorexia need to seek medical advice both physical and mentally. It then got even worse. I reached for my phone pulled my menu up from mfp and showed him 4 days plans from different weeks. His reply there fake meals just to pretend your eating. Then the horrid "oh going to the gym again" neglecting husband and house.
    These are people that have both been offered free gym membership and trainer via nhs so obese but turned it down.

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