Dating since divorce or breakup

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  • JessicaJS23
    JessicaJS23 Posts: 1,863 Member
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    Eh it'll happen one day. In the meantime I'll be your bride and thank my lucky stars I'm not stuck with some arrogant mofo. :)
  • MaxT370
    MaxT370 Posts: 274 Member
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    Not divorced yet but separated since March. Seeing how I was with him for oh...half my life (we met when i was 15, i'm 30)...the biggest change will be finding out who I am as a person on my own.

    So I found a new job in my current field and i'm moving in a few months to a new state, why not?
  • JessicaJS23
    JessicaJS23 Posts: 1,863 Member
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    MaxT370 wrote: »
    Not divorced yet but separated since March. Seeing how I was with him for oh...half my life (we met when i was 15, i'm 30)...the biggest change will be finding out who I am as a person on my own.

    So I found a new job in my current field and i'm moving in a few months to a new state, why not?

    Good luck to you!! I started dating my ex husband at 16 and and we split up when I was 25. I loved being on my own and figuring myself out those first few years... It sounds selfish but it was so nice just worrying about my own feelings.
  • MaxT370
    MaxT370 Posts: 274 Member
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    JessicaJS23 wrote: »
    MaxT370 wrote: »
    Not divorced yet but separated since March. Seeing how I was with him for oh...half my life (we met when i was 15, i'm 30)...the biggest change will be finding out who I am as a person on my own.

    So I found a new job in my current field and i'm moving in a few months to a new state, why not?

    Good luck to you!! I started dating my ex husband at 16 and and we split up when I was 25. I loved being on my own and figuring myself out those first few years... It sounds selfish but it was so nice just worrying about my own feelings.

    Thanks! I think it will be a nice change of pace. Not to mention being in a new area with new places and people. I'm a little freaked out but I think it's for the best to move on. I do feel slightly selfish leaving behind my family and friends..
  • Angela937
    Angela937 Posts: 514 Member
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    Not sure how I would feel about getting back out there again. I would never want anything serious, so probably just casual dating for me.
  • salembambi
    salembambi Posts: 5,592 Member
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    been out of a very serious relationship for 5 years now and have not dated really at all yet

    ive had people ive been into and what not but not really dated anyone

    plan on moving soon which will be a big change but hopefully ill be a lot more social as a result

  • JessicaJS23
    JessicaJS23 Posts: 1,863 Member
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    Villae81 wrote: »
    Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
    Villae81 wrote: »
    JessicaJS23 wrote: »
    I'm 33 and have a 13 year old and almost 11 year old.
    They are finally at an age where I can go out on dates once in a while but the whole thing is just so weird.
    Men seem to assume your looking for a father figure for your kids. I'm not. I've played the mom and dad role for 7 years and have done just fine.
    I don't need a captain save a ho. I don't live lavishly but I pay for everything on my own.
    That seems to baffle them.
    I haven't met anyone that can appreciate that I don't want or need anything from them right off the bat besides their companionship. It's looking real real bleak.

    Look for an older dude lol a lot of them don't mind
    Broski, that's kind of a mean thing to say ;)

    I love you, man, but that's harsh.

    I'm serious companionship = older dudes if you wanna dude who party hardy then younger dude

    My last few attempts I've gotten stuck with younger dudes who think they are ready to settle down and be men. According to my sister they see a "ready made family" and think that's what they want. The older men don't seem to find me appealing.
    I didn't think you were being mean.
  • kdtesoriero
    kdtesoriero Posts: 141 Member
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    Thanks for posting this. I just retained a divorce attorney on Thursday and was wondering about dating again. Very helpful...
  • GymRatSF
    GymRatSF Posts: 8,903 Member
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    Was married for almost 25 years up until recently and have only been dating a little and I think I am ready to give up already. It is definitely an interesting adventure. Trying to relearn the "signals" and navigate dating in the internet era. Makes me wonder if the saying, can't teach an old dog new tricks is legit.
  • melmelw03
    melmelw03 Posts: 5,338 Member
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    GymRatSF wrote: »
    Was married for almost 25 years up until recently and have only been dating a little and I think I am ready to give up already. It is definitely an interesting adventure. Trying to relearn the "signals" and navigate dating in the internet era. Makes me wonder if the saying, can't teach an old dog new tricks is legit.

    You ever consider long distance dating?
    :kissing_heart:
  • RLeighP
    RLeighP Posts: 232 Member
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    Recently divorced. Went on a few dates with one man, who gave me the whole "I'm just not feeling a spark." talk. Kind of messed me up; it was the first dates I've had since I was 19, and I'm 30 now. I've been on dating sites but I'm just not meshing with anyone. I'm not really feeling like getting back out there, honestly. Just gonna focus on me and my kiddo, my kid is all I need.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
    edited August 2016
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    DoneWorking wrote: »
    After my second divorce I didn't want to date for quite a while. Then one day I decided I needed to have a long talk with myself. I knew what my complaints were about them, but I felt I really needed to sit down and take a look at their complaints about me. Hard to do? You betcha! But I did it. I changed the things that I felt legitimately needed to be changed and kept the rest. Then I felt I was ready to date again. Result? Though I don't see myself getting married again, I am in the best relationship of my life and have been for nine years now.
    Moral of the story: It's not all the other person's fault.

    Haha yeah. Quite sure if my current marriage ends it will be mostly my fault. But you can't really control your feelings, unfortunately.
    MaxT370 wrote: »
    Not divorced yet but separated since March. Seeing how I was with him for oh...half my life (we met when i was 15, i'm 30)...the biggest change will be finding out who I am as a person on my own.

    So I found a new job in my current field and i'm moving in a few months to a new state, why not?

    That's one of my issues actually. I went straight from my first marriage to moving in with my husband pretty much, with a long period of depression in the middle, and I have NO IDEA who I am. The only time I lived alone, I was so messed up from depression that I didn't actually get to enjoy it or learn anything from it.

    I'm actually starting to figure it out... but my relationship has suffered. I'm not the same person I was when I met him. If you ask me, the best time of my life was the year before I started dating my ex - I was doing things I loved, and I was happy (but still lived with my parents, so it's not quite the same). It's been a circus since... always depending on someone else.

    Enjoy your new job and independence!
  • GymRatSF
    GymRatSF Posts: 8,903 Member
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    RLeighP wrote: »
    Recently divorced. Went on a few dates with one man, who gave me the whole "I'm just not feeling a spark." talk. Kind of messed me up; it was the first dates I've had since I was 19, and I'm 30 now. I've been on dating sites but I'm just not meshing with anyone. I'm not really feeling like getting back out there, honestly. Just gonna focus on me and my kiddo, my kid is all I need.

    LOL...pretty similar experience here except it was 25+ years since I last dated. Was dating someone briefly until I got a text saying she didn't think she felt the same about me as I felt about her. Not sure what she thought I felt about her...lol.
  • melmelw03
    melmelw03 Posts: 5,338 Member
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    GymRatSF wrote: »
    RLeighP wrote: »
    Recently divorced. Went on a few dates with one man, who gave me the whole "I'm just not feeling a spark." talk. Kind of messed me up; it was the first dates I've had since I was 19, and I'm 30 now. I've been on dating sites but I'm just not meshing with anyone. I'm not really feeling like getting back out there, honestly. Just gonna focus on me and my kiddo, my kid is all I need.

    LOL...pretty similar experience here except it was 25+ years since I last dated. Was dating someone briefly until I got a text saying she didn't think she felt the same about me as I felt about her. Not sure what she thought I felt about her...lol.

    Oh yeah that's how it's done now.
    Things end via text message. Or ghosting.
    :angry:
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,372 Member
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    melmelw03 wrote: »
    GymRatSF wrote: »
    RLeighP wrote: »
    Recently divorced. Went on a few dates with one man, who gave me the whole "I'm just not feeling a spark." talk. Kind of messed me up; it was the first dates I've had since I was 19, and I'm 30 now. I've been on dating sites but I'm just not meshing with anyone. I'm not really feeling like getting back out there, honestly. Just gonna focus on me and my kiddo, my kid is all I need.

    LOL...pretty similar experience here except it was 25+ years since I last dated. Was dating someone briefly until I got a text saying she didn't think she felt the same about me as I felt about her. Not sure what she thought I felt about her...lol.

    Oh yeah that's how it's done now.
    Things end via text message. Or ghosting.
    :angry:

    Ghosting. Ugh. Some people have no balls. I'd still rather have a text...

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