How to stay on track when your SO doesn't want to eat like you.
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Thank you everyone for your feedback. I just thought I would get a little help, as this has been an issue as of late. He thinks it's stupid to cook two meals or gets frustrated when I tell him I can't have something because it doesn't fit in my calories. I know he he just isn't used to this type of eating and it's just different and a new routine. I just wanted to know if anyone else had ever had any pushback in this area.
Thank You for the advice.0 -
I do the cooking and my GF eats what I make. I just give her less.
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By taking personal responsibility for what I eat.How to stay on track when your SO doesn't want to eat like you.
If that means I cook then I cook. If it means we have different portions or different sides it's not a big issue. Or I might have an extra snack - loads of options to cater for different needs.
Do wonder why you have to radically change your diet but your BF doesn't?
Is your diet (noun) so bad you have to change or are you switching to diet (verb) foods?
It's changing because I need to lose weight but he doesn't think he does. He could stand to lose weight, but its not my place to make that decision for him. We used to go out and eat almost every meal, mainly Italian places and pizza. I am trying to have that only once in a while but he is still wanting to eat it all the time.2 -
Pizza - one slice for you with a side salad.
Burgers - yes. You may skip the mayonnaise and the bacon, and ask for extra veggies. He gets the fries.
Chinese - you get the WarWonTon.
Taco Bell - you got me stumped there. Do they have "salads"? Get the dressings on the side so you can control the amount.
Chicken - peel off the delicious coating. Eat with a side salad.
Subway - skip the sauces, be generous with the veggies.7 -
courtneyallisonatx wrote: »cwolfman13 wrote: »How exactly do you eat? Part of the problem is often people think that because they're on a diet everything has to be bland and boring...I make all kinds of deliciousness using primarily whole food/minimally processed food ingredients...like tomorrow night I'm grilling some sirloin steaks that are marinating in some carne asada sauce I whipped up...I'll do baked potatoes and likely roast some asparagus...what's not to love? My wife and I will both eat a healthy meal in portions that are appropriate for us.
Most of our dinners are some kind of grilled meat, poultry, or fish with some kind of starch or grain and a veggie side...usually sauteed or roasted.
My boyfriend is very much addicted to fast food. He also loves carbs, all the time every meal.
Well if it's a fast food issue, then problem solved...you don't have to cook two meals, he can buy his and you can make what you like.
As carbs go, I have carbs with every meal...there's nothing inherently wrong with that...don't buy into the "carbs are the devil" stuff...most of human civilization has subsided on diets consisting largely of carbohydrates for most of our existence.
I would also add that often my wife will skip the carbs with dinner and have double veg while I have my quinoa or baked potato or whatever. I'm the primary cook in my house so everyone eats what I make or they go hungry or otherwise figure it out on their own.3 -
My husband was never overweight. I didn't expect him to change his eating habits just because I was changing mine. I mostly eat what he eats just smaller portion. I buy different snacks for him and for me. He's not big on yogurt or sweets and I'm not big on salty snacks. That really hasn't changed much. We eat out a lot, and we eat fast food pretty regularly. You just have to make good choices and limit your portion sizes.0
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Pizza - one slice for you with a side salad.
Burgers - yes. You may skip the mayonnaise and the bacon, and ask for extra veggies. He gets the fries.
Chinese - you get the WarWonTon.
Taco Bell - you got me stumped there. Do they have "salads"? Get the dressings on the side so you can control the amount.
Chicken - peel off the delicious coating. Eat with a side salad.
Subway - skip the sauces, be generous with the veggies.
OP, Taco Bell has many options for making items lighter in calories by doing them "fresco style." That will replace the cheese and sour cream with pico -- depending on the item, this can make a decent difference. Their website has many options to help you customize your meals and meet your calorie goals.4 -
Adapt / Portion Size / Separate Foods.
Today my partner and I both had home made curry, I had mine with Cauliflower Rice, she had hers with White Rice.
I saved 200+ Calories from just that one swap, but we still got to eat together2 -
courtneyallisonatx wrote: »
By taking personal responsibility for what I eat.How to stay on track when your SO doesn't want to eat like you.
If that means I cook then I cook. If it means we have different portions or different sides it's not a big issue. Or I might have an extra snack - loads of options to cater for different needs.
Do wonder why you have to radically change your diet but your BF doesn't?
Is your diet (noun) so bad you have to change or are you switching to diet (verb) foods?
It's changing because I need to lose weight but he doesn't think he does. He could stand to lose weight, but its not my place to make that decision for him. We used to go out and eat almost every meal, mainly Italian places and pizza. I am trying to have that only once in a while but he is still wanting to eat it all the time.
I don't find pizza or pasta particularly satiating, so only have pizza once a month or so and when I make pasta I have lots of protein and veggies. My OH and I don't live together yet and only eat together 4 days a week so if he wants pizza more often he has it on our off days.
I find it much easier to stay in a calorie deficit when I'm eating at home - can you sell him on this from a saving money standpoint? You still cook Italian but it will be easier for you to consume less calories.
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Pizza - one slice for you with a side salad.
Burgers - yes. You may skip the mayonnaise and the bacon, and ask for extra veggies. He gets the fries.
Chinese - you get the WarWonTon.
Taco Bell - you got me stumped there. Do they have "salads"? Get the dressings on the side so you can control the amount.
Chicken - peel off the delicious coating. Eat with a side salad.
Subway - skip the sauces, be generous with the veggies.
Actually Taco Bell is super easy to cut calories with-- same like Chipotle and such.1 -
My husband eats what I cook - sometimes a few more helpings than I do, but he's easing back into a healthier lifestyle (I hope). He still has choice at lunch at work and I buy him the cereal he likes.0
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courtneyallisonatx wrote: »Thank you everyone for your feedback. I just thought I would get a little help, as this has been an issue as of late. He thinks it's stupid to cook two meals or gets frustrated when I tell him I can't have something because it doesn't fit in my calories. I know he he just isn't used to this type of eating and it's just different and a new routine. I just wanted to know if anyone else had ever had any pushback in this area.
Thank You for the advice.
I'll be honest...he doesn't sound very supportive at all if he can't handle you eating different food. Not like you're telling him he has to change his eating.3 -
If you're bringing home restaurant/fast food, it's really easy to keep bags of pre-washed salad mix or frozen veggies at home. You can have a piece of pizza or a lighter entree (or even 1/2 of an entree) with a big salad or a veggie side, while he eats whatever he wants.0
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These are all really great ideas, this is still relatively new for me. We just recently moved in together, I am used to just eating my meals the way I want and not having to worry about anyone else. I appreciate all the genuine responses. Thinking about it a different way now than before.
I guess another issue, which is solely my own, is that I have a serious addiction to food, I have very little self restraint, which I am actively working on, so I tend to just try and stay away from the foods I would rather eat all of than just a smaller amount. Just try to reduce the temptation to binge eat.1 -
courtneyallisonatx wrote: »
By taking personal responsibility for what I eat.How to stay on track when your SO doesn't want to eat like you.
If that means I cook then I cook. If it means we have different portions or different sides it's not a big issue. Or I might have an extra snack - loads of options to cater for different needs.
Do wonder why you have to radically change your diet but your BF doesn't?
Is your diet (noun) so bad you have to change or are you switching to diet (verb) foods?
It's changing because I need to lose weight but he doesn't think he does. He could stand to lose weight, but its not my place to make that decision for him. We used to go out and eat almost every meal, mainly Italian places and pizza. I am trying to have that only once in a while but he is still wanting to eat it all the time.
He may change but you are right he needs to make that choice for himself.
Maybe a compromise is cooking Italian at home where you can control the ingredients and portions?
Making it a joint activity may turn it from a divisive issue into something that you can do together.
Just a thought - best of luck.2 -
courtneyallisonatx wrote: »Thank you everyone for your feedback. I just thought I would get a little help, as this has been an issue as of late. He thinks it's stupid to cook two meals or gets frustrated when I tell him I can't have something because it doesn't fit in my calories. I know he he just isn't used to this type of eating and it's just different and a new routine. I just wanted to know if anyone else had ever had any pushback in this area.
Thank You for the advice.
Have you shown him how MFP works? My OH gets the calorie budget concept, and that when I'm low on calories I have to be judicious on how I spend this.
We used to get ice cream at ice cream stands until I figured out their "smalls" were 8-10 ounces. Now I get the Ben & Jerry's 4 oz mini cups. But before that, he'd ask if I wanted ice cream and I'd tell him I couldn't afford the calories / didn't have the calories to spend.0 -
Be your own person and do your thing. He can either deal with it, join you, or fix his own food.5
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courtneyallisonatx wrote: »I am having such a hard time with this. My boyfriend is wonderful and wants me to do what makes me happy, but he is very happy with his eating habits. He doesn't want to eat the things I NEED to eat to make myself better. I am having a hard time figuring out a way to approach the situation with him and how to work around his food wants. Do I just cook separate meals each night, or make my own and tell him he is own his own for meals. Has anyone else had this problem? Would love to know how you handled it.
My husband and I eat very differently due to dietary restrictions/different goals. So he cooks what he eats and I cook what I eat. It's not difficult. You don't HAVE to have identical meals. Tell your boyfriend if he wants to eat something then he can make it. It's not your job.1 -
If he gets fast food, cook something for yourself. You can still coordinate and eat at the same time.
Or you can meal plan together and find things which meet both your needs and then make the food together. Or take a healthy cooking class to get ideas.
I think you should cook what you need to eat and make enough for him if he wants it. You're under no obligation to cook one thing for him and another for yourself. If he doesn't want to eat what you're making, he can find his own food.1 -
courtneyallisonatx wrote: »These are all really great ideas, this is still relatively new for me. We just recently moved in together, I am used to just eating my meals the way I want and not having to worry about anyone else. I appreciate all the genuine responses. Thinking about it a different way now than before.
I guess another issue, which is solely my own, is that I have a serious addiction to food, I have very little self restraint, which I am actively working on, so I tend to just try and stay away from the foods I would rather eat all of than just a smaller amount.
I get that...it takes awhile before you get used to figuring out meals for two people when you've just moved in together. Another thing that my BF and I have found helpful is to think of our meals more as a base + additions that we can customize (I don't eat meat, but he does). We'll do things like make pasta with marinara, plus meatballs for him, or veggies for both of us but he adds butter/cheese and I might not. Or I'll make garlic bread for him.1
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