Long time maintainer, and sometimes I want to quit.
Replies
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First of all well done for maintaining for so long. I lost 60 pounds last year and have put it all back on and am just starting again and the logging is already getting to me.
What could be worth trying is a 5:2 intermittent fasting diet. On two days of the week limit yourself to 500 calories (female) or 600 calories (male) and then eat sensibly for the other five days without tracking. If your weight stays the same great, if not try something else.
Finally I cannot totally relate to streaks. I have a step tracker and managed a 10k per day 116 day streak last year. I broke the streak when I was at 9924 for the day at 11:30pm and got engrossed in a TV show and did not do the remaining few steps.
I was really upset at the time but now after a few months I could see that I was obsessed. I would go out in the rain to do my steps even if I was ill. I even spent an hour doing steps on the same day that I had done a 128km bike ride which had put me in a massive calorie deficit.
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I quit logging due to the time involved and it was bothering others at the table. I felt re-trained on how much and what to eat. I did put on a few pounds as I slacked off my running miles and am working on that. I still check in here daily for fun.0
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I can COMPLETELY relate. Lost 60 lbs last year by healthy eating, exercise and counting calories. Been maintaining since December 2015. we should be friends :-) lol1
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crayonbreakywillow wrote: »...
And, sometimes I just want to stop. I don't want to regain the weight, but part of me wants to go back to seeing food in all its pure deliciousness and not seeing numbers when I look at it. I love food and it's something I'm passionate about. We don't deprive ourselves of the things we enjoy, but I get tired of feeling like I have to feel guilty when we overindulge. And I get jealous of how the rest of the world just eats what they want, when they want without stressing over it. ...
One thing not to lose sight of is that while you may perceive that the rest of the world eats what they want, when they want, without stressing over it, the rest of the world (at least in the USA) also consists of only 31.2% of people at a normal weight. The fact that literally more than two out of every three adults over age 20 are overweight, and more than half of those overweight are actually obsese, should give you pause.
https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/health-statistics/Pages/overweight-obesity-statistics.aspx12 -
I don't want to quit but, I'm also sick of being so fastidius. I went to a deli today and got this for $2.59
Alot better than going to subway right? I didn't have breakfast and i walked to the deli which is 2.4 miles one way away as well as walking to dunkin doughnuts for coffee this morning so why do i feel guilty?
Just eat less later/tomorrow.
Yesterday I made a whole wheat boule. It came out of the oven at 3.30pm... I had crazy carb cravings so I made myself a sandwich with two huge slices (400 calories of bread!), and some ham and swiss. It was amazing. I ended up skipping dinner (I wasn't that hungry anymore after that), went for a long walk, and I still ended up with a 300+ calorie deficit. Totally worth it.
Seriously though, most days if I end up giving in to something I'm craving (I also had a big bowl of rice with sugar and milk as a second breakfast yesterday morning!), I still end up under maintenance because I'm just less hungry later anyway... Ok I didn't hit my macros (was only 7/8g off though), but life's too short to deprive yourself all the time.
My goal is set for sedentary. so far today i have 13,288 steps at 3pm. I'm pretty sure that's not sedentary. I hope my indulgent days balance themself out in the long runr
>5000 steps = starts to exceed sedentary person calories
>7500 steps = starts to exceeed lightly active person calories
>10000 to 12000 steps = starts to exceed active person calories
>12500 to 15500 steps = starts to exceed very active person calories
At > 13288 your corresponding MFP setting without logging any additional exercise would be "very active"Where did you get this info? Because it would be nice if mfp broke it down like that in settings0 -
crayonbreakywillow wrote: »...
And, sometimes I just want to stop. I don't want to regain the weight, but part of me wants to go back to seeing food in all its pure deliciousness and not seeing numbers when I look at it. I love food and it's something I'm passionate about. We don't deprive ourselves of the things we enjoy, but I get tired of feeling like I have to feel guilty when we overindulge. And I get jealous of how the rest of the world just eats what they want, when they want without stressing over it. ...
One thing not to lose sight of is that while you may perceive that the rest of the world eats what they want, when they want, without stressing over it, the rest of the world (at least in the USA) also consists of only 31.2% of people at a normal weight. The fact that literally more than two out of every three adults over age 20 are overweight, and more than half of those overweight are actually obsese, should give you pause.
https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/health-statistics/Pages/overweight-obesity-statistics.aspx
I clicked "awesome" but just wanted to say also, this is an awesome comment. Was thinking the same but you said it better. Plus, you don't see how little people eat when they're not out. Some may seriously cut consumption so that they can enjoy a night out without worry. You usually just don't know and can't assume.4 -
stephbroadbelt wrote: »Thanks all for the discussion! I reached my goal loss of about 15 lbs a year ago and have been logging maintenance since then. I can definitely relate to the OP about having to log. I pre-log most days to see where I can It's just a habit at this point and I don't feel bad about going over as long as I'm under or at maintenance the rest of the week. I've been within 5 lbs of my "goal weight" since last August so I feel pretty confident about being able to cut back when needed.
Where I'm having trouble is that my maintenance calories according to MFP and TDEE calculators is only about 1300-1400 calories. I have a pretty small build and am relatively active in the warmer months by working in a city and walking to/from public transit, but am getting discouraged about having to think about calories for the rest of my life to not gain a ton of weight. If I go over 1300 and don't have at least 15,000 steps that day I see the difference right away on the scale. For now I'm fine with logging and checking in, but I'm not even 30 yet and I get stuck looking forward and trying to motivate my future-self to exercise which is hard because I barely do now besides walking.
I feel ya. Smaller people eat less to maintain. Fact. It sounds like you have a good grip on your numbers, but still, they do sound low. You said if you go over 1300 without 15k steps you see it immediately. Have you tried holding a higher net intake for a period of time, like 2 weeks? Lots of things can show up on the scale the next day but diminish over successive weeks. Water retention (for any of a plethora of reasons) will show up immediately. Actual fat doesn't.2 -
crayonbreakywillow wrote: »...
And, sometimes I just want to stop. I don't want to regain the weight, but part of me wants to go back to seeing food in all its pure deliciousness and not seeing numbers when I look at it. I love food and it's something I'm passionate about. We don't deprive ourselves of the things we enjoy, but I get tired of feeling like I have to feel guilty when we overindulge. And I get jealous of how the rest of the world just eats what they want, when they want without stressing over it. ...
One thing not to lose sight of is that while you may perceive that the rest of the world eats what they want, when they want, without stressing over it, the rest of the world (at least in the USA) also consists of only 31.2% of people at a normal weight. The fact that literally more than two out of every three adults over age 20 are overweight, and more than half of those overweight are actually obsese, should give you pause.
https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/health-statistics/Pages/overweight-obesity-statistics.aspx
I clicked "awesome" but just wanted to say also, this is an awesome comment. Was thinking the same but you said it better. Plus, you don't see how little people eat when they're not out. Some may seriously cut consumption so that they can enjoy a night out without worry. You usually just don't know and can't assume.
Excellent points! My thing is I have no problem eating under a set amount of calories. I'm so used to doing so. My biggest issue is I feel like I should be able to do this without it consuming my life and feeling like I have to actively count constantly. It really is my mindset that needs work. As a perfectionist, I've been obsessive about it all and I feel like I need to stop worrying so much about perfection, pre-logging, obsession and relying on the app, instead of my own good sense.
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I know the feeling, yes. But you know you can stop for a week or two, or a month. It's not the end all be all. I take breaks from logging, and still log in here because I like the streak too. It's OKAY. And if you still don't want to give it up completely, I found that sitting down at the end of the day with a pencil and paper and drawing up a rough estimate of the day's calories put me at ease.1
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MFP settings are
Where did you get this info? Because it would be nice if mfp broke it down like that in settings>5000 steps = starts to exceed sedentary person calories
>7500 steps = starts to exceed lightly active person calories
>10000 to 12000 steps = starts to exceed active person calories
>12500 to 15500 steps = starts to exceed very active person calories
At 13288 your corresponding MFP setting without logging any additional exercise would be "very active"
BMR x 1.25 sedentary
BMR x 1.4 lightly active
BMR x 1.6 active
BMR x 1.8 active.
BMR calculated using Mifflin St Jeor
Source: reverse engineering.
Note that you are expected to add exercise that is not included in the activity setting on top. As a result these activity factors do not correspond directly to factors used by other sources
<5000 steps/day may be used as a 'sedentary lifestyle index';
5000-7499 steps/day is typical of daily activity excluding sports/exercise and might be considered 'low active';
7500-9999 likely includes some volitional activities (and/or elevated occupational activity demands) and might be considered 'somewhat active'; and
>or=10000 steps/day indicates the point that should be used to classify individuals as 'active'.
Individuals who take >12500 steps/day are likely to be classified as 'highly active'.
Source: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14715035:
So how are the two combined to the table presented to you initially? Reverse engineering based on Fitbit estimations and comparison with MFP.
You may also find this page (and the ones that follow) of interest to you:
http://www.fao.org/docrep/007/y5686e/y5686e07.htm#TopOfPage
A while back I put together a "goal setting" spreadsheet:
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1D9ayGxT_UVw2PNI9kOYh0aIvRjCvHNZL7Z1rpLW7LKI/edit?usp=sharing
It attempted to explore various activity setting brought together from disparate sources and compare them to one's own activities to try and set appropriate (i.e. moderate) weight loss goals.
Heybales has a much more elaborate one available on his page
Of course individual differences and patterns of logging affect results. If you log diligently, it is a good idea to compare what you log to your weight changes. Starting a new sheet every 30 to 60 days is also a good idea because patterns of activity change over time. This is an example of what I mean: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/14k_zGWeklpl05lNqSWN_SK1XzuwnmVHtUfW8Eao5kIE/edit?usp=sharing
Have fun.0 -
crayonbreakywillow wrote: »so far this week, I haven't really logged. I've continued to weigh and measure my food, and quickly add the calories in my head, but not really log. I have tried not to spend too much time thinking ahead about what I'm going to eat. I've just made sure that each meal (breakfast,lunch,dinner,snacks) has been under the amount of calories I've allotted for that meal. 450-450-600-300. So far, I've been able to add in my head the approximate amount of calories I've had at the end of the day, and I've come in under that every day. I actually think I've been eating less calories this week and feeling more satisfied.
I may log this weekend because of the holiday and some events I have scheduled that are outside of the ordinary. Chances are, I'll end up over my calories, but I want to allow myself to enjoy without guilt. Anyway, I really feel hopeful that I will be able to eventually quit logging all together and be able to eat intuitively. It's still way too early to know that for sure, but I'm hopeful!
I fear I might be repeating myself, but I just wanted to comment on this. I think it's great that you are aiming to eat intuitively. But that can't be forced. You have to let go, and trust yourself, but you also need to know that you can trust yourself to be able to let go. My current approach is similar to yours (I weigh and count), but I don't think in calories so much anymore, because my meals are in the same "order of magnitude", and only when I eat something out of the ordinary, I think about the calories. For instance, dinner last night was a frozen pizza. Usual dinners for me are 550-750 calories, but this one was over 900. I use this information when I decide whether I want a "snack" (for lack of a better word) later in the evening. I felt full, but knowing that I have had a large dinner, makes me confident that I don't need more food that day. So I eat "mindfully" as well. Satiety caught up on me, so I had no real doubt. I use both my stomach and my head. (The day before, I had an extra "snack", just because I wanted the taste. No worries. That felt good, but new.)
What overweight people lack, is boundaries. (I have been overweight myself, so I feel entitled to an opinion, lol.) Boundaries sounds like a bad word, but there is freedom within them. This is where all those "tips" come in - don't eat after 8 pm, chew your food 20 times, don't go back for seconds, have starter or dessert, not both, start your meal with soup, always eat breakfast - none of these tips make you lose/maintain weight, and they are meaningless in the context of calorie counting, but they constitute boundaries. Normal weight people have sets of boundaries like these. They are their own personal boundaries, so they don't feel restrictive. They are just habits.
The guilt inducing "freedom" to eat "whatever, whenever", is a modern construct made by the food industry (to use up all the extra (heavily subsibised) commodities, and oh, earn more money); no traditional socities have ever endorsed consistent overeating. Seasonal variations have always existed, but not in the scale of Thanksgiving, and all day, every day. The food we tend to overeat, is also food that is very easy to overeat (ref above). This is the "hidden secret" of "the Mediterranian diet" and such (nonsense); it's not just what they eat, nor is it just how they eat - it's the whole thing - moving daily, not necessarily through planned exercise; enjoying food, but not use it as a comfort blanket; eating to satiety but not stuffed; not obsessing about food and nutrition, but taking care to assemble decent meals; sit down and eat with friends and family, letting food take its place as an important part of getting together, but not always have the lead role. Ideas like these seem strange to many of us today, and difficult to grasp and implement, but it can be done, and I really think it's the only way to go.10 -
I think it's very important to consider your hunger signals for sure. It's still a struggle for me, honestly. We went out for lunch last week and I was honestly full after the free bread and my soup (it was a 'not very hungry' week). It took an effort to just have a bite of my entree and pack it up (and skip dessert!) - I actually finished it for dinner and was well within my calories that day as a result.
The problem for me is that it doesn't always work out - especially when you add the 'I'm not going to be able to have a snack later so I need to eat it a bit more' factor, or the 'man I REALLY want a piece of this right now'. Or hunger all over the place (some mornings I'm full at 250 calories. Others, I need 800. During PMS I could eat 3000 calories and still be hungry). That's why the whole 'intuitive eating' thing doesn't always work so well for people who have been overweight - or it takes really years to relearn good eating practices.
But if you're pretty regular, always hungry the same way at the same time of day, always eat the same kind of foods... you can probably do without logging.
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I think it's very important to consider your hunger signals for sure. It's still a struggle for me, honestly. We went out for lunch last week and I was honestly full after the free bread and my soup (it was a 'not very hungry' week). It took an effort to just have a bite of my entree and pack it up (and skip dessert!) - I actually finished it for dinner and was well within my calories that day as a result.
The problem for me is that it doesn't always work out - especially when you add the 'I'm not going to be able to have a snack later so I need to eat it a bit more' factor, or the 'man I REALLY want a piece of this right now'. Or hunger all over the place (some mornings I'm full at 250 calories. Others, I need 800. During PMS I could eat 3000 calories and still be hungry). That's why the whole 'intuitive eating' thing doesn't always work so well for people who have been overweight - or it takes really years to relearn good eating practices.
But if you're pretty regular, always hungry the same way at the same time of day, always eat the same kind of foods... you can probably do without logging.
What a coincidence that you wrote this just now - right after I picked up Paul McKenna's book "I can make you thin" at the library! Badly translated into Norwegian, it's still a masterpiece
And just as I'm working on a major shift in my meal plan - I'm lighter now so I need less fuel, but unpredictably, so I have to make arrangements to still have the opportunity for an acceptable fourth meal, and avoid waste, so I struggle a bit with logistics and hitting my appetite. Intuitive eating and meal planning doesn't mix that well. But that was also one of the reasons I gave up calorie counting one year ago - I realized I was better at hitting my appetite when I wasn't tracking. I think McKenna can have some tips to address those and other issues. The book even comes with a CD with subliminal messages 0 -
You have a plethora of great advice from each of the above members and I have to applaud their insight0
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crayonbreakywillow wrote: »And, sometimes I just want to stop. I don't want to regain the weight, but part of me wants to go back to seeing food in all its pure deliciousness and not seeing numbers when I look at it.
I know exactly what you mean, and I am not even to maintenance yet. I have been working with a trainer for a month now. She made me start a food diary and then she reviews it each meeting to make me think about the calories. Although she never made me count them on my own, I began to see nothing but numbers whenever I pick up any kind of food. It takes the pleasure completely out of eating.
I got MFP to see what it is like and to see if it would help me get to a place that I can eat without needing it because healthiness will just be a lifestyle.
So far, it is helping because I can see from the calculator that I can have a snack or that I can have something sweet. It helps because on the 1200 calories the trainer wanted me to stick to I was hungry all the time, increasing my chances of overeating.
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kommodevaran wrote: »crayonbreakywillow wrote: »so far this week, I haven't really logged. I've continued to weigh and measure my food, and quickly add the calories in my head, but not really log. I have tried not to spend too much time thinking ahead about what I'm going to eat. I've just made sure that each meal (breakfast,lunch,dinner,snacks) has been under the amount of calories I've allotted for that meal. 450-450-600-300. So far, I've been able to add in my head the approximate amount of calories I've had at the end of the day, and I've come in under that every day. I actually think I've been eating less calories this week and feeling more satisfied.
I may log this weekend because of the holiday and some events I have scheduled that are outside of the ordinary. Chances are, I'll end up over my calories, but I want to allow myself to enjoy without guilt. Anyway, I really feel hopeful that I will be able to eventually quit logging all together and be able to eat intuitively. It's still way too early to know that for sure, but I'm hopeful!
I fear I might be repeating myself, but I just wanted to comment on this. I think it's great that you are aiming to eat intuitively. But that can't be forced. You have to let go, and trust yourself, but you also need to know that you can trust yourself to be able to let go. My current approach is similar to yours (I weigh and count), but I don't think in calories so much anymore, because my meals are in the same "order of magnitude", and only when I eat something out of the ordinary, I think about the calories. For instance, dinner last night was a frozen pizza. Usual dinners for me are 550-750 calories, but this one was over 900. I use this information when I decide whether I want a "snack" (for lack of a better word) later in the evening. I felt full, but knowing that I have had a large dinner, makes me confident that I don't need more food that day. So I eat "mindfully" as well. Satiety caught up on me, so I had no real doubt. I use both my stomach and my head. (The day before, I had an extra "snack", just because I wanted the taste. No worries. That felt good, but new.)
What overweight people lack, is boundaries. (I have been overweight myself, so I feel entitled to an opinion, lol.) Boundaries sounds like a bad word, but there is freedom within them. This is where all those "tips" come in - don't eat after 8 pm, chew your food 20 times, don't go back for seconds, have starter or dessert, not both, start your meal with soup, always eat breakfast - none of these tips make you lose/maintain weight, and they are meaningless in the context of calorie counting, but they constitute boundaries. Normal weight people have sets of boundaries like these. They are their own personal boundaries, so they don't feel restrictive. They are just habits.
The guilt inducing "freedom" to eat "whatever, whenever", is a modern construct made by the food industry (to use up all the extra (heavily subsibised) commodities, and oh, earn more money); no traditional socities have ever endorsed consistent overeating. Seasonal variations have always existed, but not in the scale of Thanksgiving, and all day, every day. The food we tend to overeat, is also food that is very easy to overeat (ref above). This is the "hidden secret" of "the Mediterranian diet" and such (nonsense); it's not just what they eat, nor is it just how they eat - it's the whole thing - moving daily, not necessarily through planned exercise; enjoying food, but not use it as a comfort blanket; eating to satiety but not stuffed; not obsessing about food and nutrition, but taking care to assemble decent meals; sit down and eat with friends and family, letting food take its place as an important part of getting together, but not always have the lead role. Ideas like these seem strange to many of us today, and difficult to grasp and implement, but it can be done, and I really think it's the only way to go.
I love this reply. Thank you for taking the time to write it. I completely agree about boundaries. I've been very focused on setting healthy personal boundaries in other areas of my life recently, and I definitely agree that there is freedom within them. I am going to start focusing more on boundaries in my food/health as well. You're correct that intuitive eating can't be forced. I'm definitely trying to gradually let go and trust myself. So far this week, I feel like I've come a long way in that already. Also, I love what you said about letting food take its place as an important part of getting together, but not always as the lead role.2 -
crayonbreakywillow wrote: »...
And, sometimes I just want to stop. I don't want to regain the weight, but part of me wants to go back to seeing food in all its pure deliciousness and not seeing numbers when I look at it. I love food and it's something I'm passionate about. We don't deprive ourselves of the things we enjoy, but I get tired of feeling like I have to feel guilty when we overindulge. And I get jealous of how the rest of the world just eats what they want, when they want without stressing over it. ...
One thing not to lose sight of is that while you may perceive that the rest of the world eats what they want, when they want, without stressing over it, the rest of the world (at least in the USA) also consists of only 31.2% of people at a normal weight. The fact that literally more than two out of every three adults over age 20 are overweight, and more than half of those overweight are actually obsese, should give you pause.
https://www.niddk.nih.gov/health-information/health-statistics/Pages/overweight-obesity-statistics.aspx
I just want to piggyback onto this great response to say that I log consistently (though I take a day off every once in a while and when I'm on vacation) and I have a lot of the same feelings the OP does. The other night I was having dinner in a restaurant with a group friends, and one of the people there who hasn't known me for very long and therefore didn't realize that I used to be heavier said, "Oh, look at scrittrice--she's one of those people who just eats whatever they want and never gain weight!" I mumbled something like, "Well, I don't eat this much every day!" (it was my birthday AND I'd gone for a 20+-mile bike ride earlier in the day!) but I was stunned to realize that someone would see ME as one of those people when I feel fairly tightly controlled. In other words, it may look/feel like "the rest of the world just eats what they want," and I feel the same way, but obviously, looks are often deceiving.7 -
I'm just coming back after not logging over the summer. To keep my streak going, I would log into the app every day then log back out (yes, I know it's cheating). I did go back to my old habits to a point, but I was able to maintain control. I gained 10 lbs over the summer but it didn't really bother me since I went into my little break fully expecting to gain a bit. It will be relatively easy for me to take it off, and it was worth it.
Like Victoria above, I typically don't log on the weekends and I find it works for me to avoid getting down on MFP.0 -
crayonbreakywillow wrote: »But lately it's been a struggle. For some reason the scale has been fighting us, even though we are more active than ever. And, I find myself obsessing over it to the point where I feel like it consumes me and I get cranky when anything "interferes" with my planned calories.
And, sometimes I just want to stop. I don't want to regain the weight, but part of me wants to go back to seeing food in all its pure deliciousness and not seeing numbers when I look at it. I love food and it's something I'm passionate about. We don't deprive ourselves of the things we enjoy, but I get tired of feeling like I have to feel guilty when we overindulge. And I get jealous of how the rest of the world just eats what they want, when they want without stressing over it.
I've thought of taking a break, but honestly I'm afraid. And, I'm quite proud of my 1,528 day streak. I feel like if we stopped logging, we may lose control and gain all we've lost. I'm also afraid I wouldn't be able to look at food without seeing numbers anyway because I'm so used to knowing the calorie count of everything. Can anyone relate to this? Has anyone successfully stopped logging? Am I doomed to log the rest of my life? I worry that one day I will look back with regret because I allowed myself to be so obsessed with logging that I missed out on enjoying life to the fullest.
I could have written this post...especially the stuff in bold. I'm now hitting a point where I have lost a significant amount but I'm not where I want to be. I don't know if losing any more is worth it, but I'm terrified of the prospect of maintenance. I don't have much to add or have much advice for you because I am still struggling with this myself (9 years an 100 pounds later) but I really wanted to thank you for sharing. And for everyone here for sharing.
I feel like all I ever hear are the people who say "It got so much easier the more weight I lost! It became second nature to me! Counting calories barely takes up any time!" For me, it's totally the opposite. It got so much harder as it went on. The last 20 pounds or so were a real struggle (and the last 10 have been borderline torture.) Cooking has become a complete chore. I eat the same things over and over for ease. I spend SO much time thinking about food, planning out meals, measuring out breakfasts and lunches to the gram...and I sometimes feel like the only one who is struggling because I don't see a lot of people talking about it.
One thing I'd like to mention (and not saying this is something you should/need to do) is that if the obsessive thoughts get too much and really start controlling your life, I'd suggest talking to a professional...a counselor or a therapist.Things got bad enough with me and my thought patterns about food and weight (which, honestly, has been a life long issue) that I decided to seek out someone who specifically focuses on patients who are dealing with weight loss, weight management, eating disorders, etc. We haven't made a ton of progress but it's a lot to chip away at and hopefully we'll be able to!
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I totally feel ya. I am about 4 lbs. from my present goal & it is coming off so slowly I wonder if I'll ever get to maintenance. I am on day 776. I too cannot unknow what I know now. I look at food & think are those calories worth it? But that being said, this is the only method I have found that I can do for a lifetime & I never want to go back to the 40+ lbs. me. As for your log in streak. Someone on the reddit Loseit sub posted that if you miss a day you request a log in counter reset or just go back & fill in the day(s) you missed & it will autocorrect. Haven't tried back filling b/c I haven't missed a day yet, but did bring up the log in counter reset page.0
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redcoloredstars07 wrote: »
I feel like all I ever hear are the people who say "It got so much easier the more weight I lost! It became second nature to me! Counting calories barely takes up any time!" For me, it's totally the opposite. It got so much harder as it went on. The last 20 pounds or so were a real struggle (and the last 10 have been borderline torture.) Cooking has become a complete chore. I eat the same things over and over for ease. I spend SO much time thinking about food, planning out meals, measuring out breakfasts and lunches to the gram...and I sometimes feel like the only one who is struggling because I don't see a lot of people talking about it.crayonbreakywillow wrote: »But lately it's been a struggle. For some reason the scale has been fighting us, even though we are more active than ever. And, I find myself obsessing over it to the point where I feel like it consumes me and I get cranky when anything "interferes" with my planned calories.
And, sometimes I just want to stop. I don't want to regain the weight, but part of me wants to go back to seeing food in all its pure deliciousness and not seeing numbers when I look at it. I love food and it's something I'm passionate about. We don't deprive ourselves of the things we enjoy, but I get tired of feeling like I have to feel guilty when we overindulge. And I get jealous of how the rest of the world just eats what they want, when they want without stressing over it.
I've thought of taking a break, but honestly I'm afraid. And, I'm quite proud of my 1,528 day streak. I feel like if we stopped logging, we may lose control and gain all we've lost. I'm also afraid I wouldn't be able to look at food without seeing numbers anyway because I'm so used to knowing the calorie count of everything. Can anyone relate to this? Has anyone successfully stopped logging? Am I doomed to log the rest of my life? I worry that one day I will look back with regret because I allowed myself to be so obsessed with logging that I missed out on enjoying life to the fullest.
Maybe you don't need to lose those "last" pounds? Or micromanaging your food intake? It's that 80/20 rule - we tend to invest 80 percent of our recources on 20 percents of the outcome. That is not good management. Sometimes it's better to just let it go.
Cooking will be a chore when you cook boring food, and eating the same things over and over, is boring. You don't have to. And I really don't understand how that rhymes with spending time to plan meals - if you are eating the same over and over, the plan is fixed and no more planning needed. For me, meal planning has become a hobby, and it feels like a strange hobby to have, but I think it's rewarding because it lets me eat varied and balaced while I save money and have fun cooking good food. (Not to sound superior, but I'd like to give you a different view.)
(I'm not thinking so much about calories anymore, and I'm shrinking; lately I've been somewhat below "my" range and right now I weigh the same as when I was 12
Not intentionally, but I feel so satisfied and don't want to eat when I'm not hungry.) 3 -
crayonbreakywillow wrote: »I've been on MFP for over four years now, haven't missed a day. I've been on maintenance for three years after successfully losing 90ish pounds. From the beginning, I've loved the control I have over what I eat. Counting calories made sense to me and it worked! My husband and I started MFP together and I love that it's something we share. We are active and walk, bike ride and now run together.
But lately it's been a struggle. For some reason the scale has been fighting us, even though we are more active than ever. And, I find myself obsessing over it to the point where I feel like it consumes me and I get cranky when anything "interferes" with my planned calories.
And, sometimes I just want to stop. I don't want to regain the weight, but part of me wants to go back to seeing food in all its pure deliciousness and not seeing numbers when I look at it. I love food and it's something I'm passionate about. We don't deprive ourselves of the things we enjoy, but I get tired of feeling like I have to feel guilty when we overindulge. And I get jealous of how the rest of the world just eats what they want, when they want without stressing over it.
I've thought of taking a break, but honestly I'm afraid. And, I'm quite proud of my 1,528 day streak. I feel like if we stopped logging, we may lose control and gain all we've lost. I'm also afraid I wouldn't be able to look at food without seeing numbers anyway because I'm so used to knowing the calorie count of everything. Can anyone relate to this? Has anyone successfully stopped logging? Am I doomed to log the rest of my life? I worry that one day I will look back with regret because I allowed myself to be so obsessed with logging that I missed out on enjoying life to the fullest.
hahaha - OP, you nailed it! I felt the same way - again - this morning. But a spicy chicken biscuit at Chic fil A helped.
Like you I lost 75 pounds and had a similar length streak. Then I rage-quit when I had an injury requiring some surgeries and months of 10 pound weight restrictions. I gained about 12 pounds and, when I came back, I seriously regretted ever canceling my old account (Go_Mizzou99).
Take a break but not from the scale. Break your streak (it was actually quite liberating). Come back when you need tune ups - or as in my case - "tweaks". I normally only log breakfast and lunch now and never supper as I know how much "room" I have left.0 -
redcoloredstars07 wrote: »crayonbreakywillow wrote: »But lately it's been a struggle. For some reason the scale has been fighting us, even though we are more active than ever. And, I find myself obsessing over it to the point where I feel like it consumes me and I get cranky when anything "interferes" with my planned calories.
And, sometimes I just want to stop. I don't want to regain the weight, but part of me wants to go back to seeing food in all its pure deliciousness and not seeing numbers when I look at it. I love food and it's something I'm passionate about. We don't deprive ourselves of the things we enjoy, but I get tired of feeling like I have to feel guilty when we overindulge. And I get jealous of how the rest of the world just eats what they want, when they want without stressing over it.
I've thought of taking a break, but honestly I'm afraid. And, I'm quite proud of my 1,528 day streak. I feel like if we stopped logging, we may lose control and gain all we've lost. I'm also afraid I wouldn't be able to look at food without seeing numbers anyway because I'm so used to knowing the calorie count of everything. Can anyone relate to this? Has anyone successfully stopped logging? Am I doomed to log the rest of my life? I worry that one day I will look back with regret because I allowed myself to be so obsessed with logging that I missed out on enjoying life to the fullest.
I could have written this post...especially the stuff in bold. I'm now hitting a point where I have lost a significant amount but I'm not where I want to be. I don't know if losing any more is worth it, but I'm terrified of the prospect of maintenance. I don't have much to add or have much advice for you because I am still struggling with this myself (9 years an 100 pounds later) but I really wanted to thank you for sharing. And for everyone here for sharing.
I feel like all I ever hear are the people who say "It got so much easier the more weight I lost! It became second nature to me! Counting calories barely takes up any time!" For me, it's totally the opposite. It got so much harder as it went on. The last 20 pounds or so were a real struggle (and the last 10 have been borderline torture.) Cooking has become a complete chore. I eat the same things over and over for ease. I spend SO much time thinking about food, planning out meals, measuring out breakfasts and lunches to the gram...and I sometimes feel like the only one who is struggling because I don't see a lot of people talking about it.
One thing I'd like to mention (and not saying this is something you should/need to do) is that if the obsessive thoughts get too much and really start controlling your life, I'd suggest talking to a professional...a counselor or a therapist.Things got bad enough with me and my thought patterns about food and weight (which, honestly, has been a life long issue) that I decided to seek out someone who specifically focuses on patients who are dealing with weight loss, weight management, eating disorders, etc. We haven't made a ton of progress but it's a lot to chip away at and hopefully we'll be able to!
You are SO not alone! Most days even cooking is a chore too... but then my meals kinda suck and I don't feel satisfied, so it's a vicious cycle. When I spend more time making meals I enjoy, it's MUCH easier to stay on track (except those days when I'm starving. Ugh).
I'm sure I could use some professional help too, just wouldn't even know where to look for someone who's qualified and covered by my insurance. But yeah, I see fat people who seem much happier than I am (not that I was happy when I was fat, mind you, but at least I wasn't stressing out about gaining weight back all the time).
And I've been told not to obsess over my last 5 pounds too... but I'm still not happy with how I look... so it doesn't help either. I just wish I wasn't so damn HUNGRY 2 weeks a month!0 -
kommodevaran wrote: »
Maybe you don't need to lose those "last" pounds? Or micromanaging your food intake? It's that 80/20 rule - we tend to invest 80 percent of our recources on 20 percents of the outcome. That is not good management. Sometimes it's better to just let it go.
Cooking will be a chore when you cook boring food, and eating the same things over and over, is boring. You don't have to. And I really don't understand how that rhymes with spending time to plan meals - if you are eating the same over and over, the plan is fixed and no more planning needed.
It's hard to let it go and not feel like you need to lose those last few pounds when you're still technically overweight.
And as for how eating the same things over and over AND spending a lot of time meal planning can happen at once...they certainly do for me. I have a few dozen go to recipes that I make over and over, yes, but there's picking which ones I'm going to do ahead of time so I know how they fit in my week, shopping for the ingredients I might need, cooking, weighing everything into portions once I'm done. It takes up a lot of time and brain space when I'd much rather just cook whatever I wanted when I wanted and not have to put in all the leg work ahead of time.
0 -
I can relate to this - and thank you so much for posting.
I am currently in ED recovery. I joined MFP in 2015 after being told by my doctor that I was over-weight. I threw myself in to weight loss - head first. It wasn't long before I was dropping the excess weight and feeling fantastic. Once I hit the 'healthy' mark, I felt amazing however from there? It went downhill. I lost my friends because I could not justify consuming calories that weren't already accounted for (I would pre log my days) - I would cancel every social situation. I would stop spending time with my boyfriend despite us living together because I was irritable and hungry and just wanted to be left alone. I couldn't fathom being intimate with him and we ate seperatly in the evenings as he would eat fattening food and I would be sitting there with my plate of vegetables. I nearly lost him. It got to the point where my life was about food - about the numbers, about eating. I was addicted to food yet didn't want to be anywhere near it.
I have to stress that I was never under weight - I was always 'healthy'. Yet my mind most certainly was not. When I reached my goal weight, I didn't ease up on myself. Instead, I found myself worrying more about the scale and the calorie burns and the numbers. My whole day was spent adding and calculating. I would make excuses to leave work early so I could go to the gym - I have an office job so couldn't contemplate sitting down all day.
It was only a few months ago that I realised I was mentally very unwell. I went to my doctor for help - she referred me to the eating disorder clinic. A few weeks later, I received a letter from the clinic saying I wasn't light enough for treatment - In other words, I was too heavy. I saw this as a failure and I just wanted to be away from this life of counting and adding and being afraid of food yet wanting it so badly.
I was referred to counselling and gradually my relationship with food eased. I still have to fight the urge to count and add and obsess and worry - and I still look at other people and feel envy that they can eat without a thought spared. I weighed myself last week and I have gained 7 pounds - I am nearly 'overweight' again. But I had to gain those pounds to ease up on the rigid structure that my life had become ruled by.
What I'm trying to say is - you don't have to live in fear of numbers. You don't have to beat yourself up over an indulgence and you don't have to have the constant battle. I believe it's all about finding that inner peace.3 -
I am the same way! But I would rather obsess over counting calories than the way I was before with being obsessed with overeating until I had an upset stomach many nights.
I have just never thought about it as an eating disorder before. But then again, it has never gotten in the way of my social life. Glad you got some help and are creating more balance in your life.0 -
vicky1947mfp wrote: »I am the same way! But I would rather obsess over counting calories than the way I was before with being obsessed with overeating until I had an upset stomach many nights.
I have just never thought about it as an eating disorder before. But then again, it has never gotten in the way of my social life. Glad you got some help and are creating more balance in your life.
The whole 'eating disorder' thing is a really fine line though. The problem is that most of us have never had a good relationship with food - so stuffing our face and getting overweight/obese was an eating disorder too, in a way.
The problem is that once you start thinking of counting calories/watching what you eat/feeling guilty when you eat too much/feeling frustrated that you can't eat as much as you want as an eating disorder, well... what's the alternative, really? Not caring anymore and getting fat again? I mean, I'm no expert in what people do once they reach their goal weight, but most people who ended up trying to 'let go' of the stress ended up 'fatter but happier' and it's just really not what I'm aiming for.
I mean, sheesh, I still think that I look fat and it's a huge struggle already to maintain the weight - there's no doubt in my mind that if I started getting less obsessed about the food I eat (or don't eat), I'd end up gaining weight back.
So.. damned if you do, damned if you don't.
But I supposed I don't really let it be an obstacle in my social life, but I do struggle when I have to eat high calorie/non filling foods and end up hungry (or overeating) as a result (I'm sadly not someone who can make do with small portions of high calorie foods, lol). So I suppose it's a good thing I don't have much of a social life.1 -
Great topic, I asked myself this question all the time. I'm 37 days away from 2,000 days straight and have been doing maintenance for about a year or so. Truthfully my smartphone is the first thing I pick up in the morning to get a vague idea of what my day will consist of so I can plan on what to eat. A lot of it now doesn't have some much to do with what I am eating but more of am I getting enough exercise in. I get way more benefit from that this far into it.
For now I will keep logging but all things come to an end, so some day who knows.
Keep after it and congrats on your progress to date.2
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