We broke up because...
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Couldn't rise to the challenge0
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rose to the challenge0
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Rose to the challenge too hard and poked her eye out0
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Now I wear glasses0
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All the empty wine glasses in her house told a verrrrrry interesting tale.0
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The non-empty ones told a more interesting tale.0
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It was the dozen empty boxes of wine that made me even more worried.0
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I was married0
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she was married to a huge guy named boris -0
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He kept wanting me to call him Boris1
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I hated her calling me Boris0
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Had a strange thing for a moose and a squirrel0
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for some reason Rocky and Bullwinkle didn't put her in the mood
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He was hung like a moose - it was painful0
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I was hung like a mouse. She's never happy.0
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She didn't like a challenge0
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he had mice in his house0
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she was always laying down0
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we both lagged too much0
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He was slow on the uptake0
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she was sneaking off to baseball games without me0
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Kept trying to steal home - with others!0
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lol she actually wore a chastity belt
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He never used key on said belt0
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He gave me the key to her belt.0
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Found him with his key in someone elses lock0
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Found a strange collection of locks of hair0
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She has colour coded locks for every single person in the basement. I was confused.0
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his bathroom flooded and he used my clothes to soak up the water0
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He wanted me to stick my finge...errmm never mind..lets just say he was a dirty bird
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