We broke up because...

Kvm11628

Couldn't rise to the challenge

drbuzzard91

rose to the challenge

pdm3547

Rose to the challenge too hard and poked her eye out

lilkimi525

Now I wear glasses

Kvm11628

All the empty wine glasses in her house told a verrrrrry interesting tale.

pdm3547

The non-empty ones told a more interesting tale.

Kvm11628

It was the dozen empty boxes of wine that made me even more worried.

Gimsteinn

I was married

VanishingNachos

she was married to a huge guy named boris -

candiinprogress

He kept wanting me to call him Boris

pdm3547

I hated her calling me Boris

Kvm11628

Had a strange thing for a moose and a squirrel

g44219

for some reason Rocky and Bullwinkle didn't put her in the mood

candiinprogress

He was hung like a moose - it was painful

pdm3547

I was hung like a mouse. She's never happy.

Kvm11628

She didn't like a challenge

g44219

he had mice in his house

synchkat

she was always laying down

g44219

we both lagged too much

Kvm11628

He was slow on the uptake

g44219

she was sneaking off to baseball games without me

Kvm11628

Kept trying to steal home - with others!

g44219

lol she actually wore a chastity belt

Kvm11628

He never used key on said belt

pdm3547

He gave me the key to her belt.

slimgirljo15

Found him with his key in someone elses lock

Kvm11628

Found a strange collection of locks of hair

pdm3547

She has colour coded locks for every single person in the basement. I was confused.

g44219

his bathroom flooded and he used my clothes to soak up the water

slimgirljo15

He wanted me to stick my finge...errmm never mind..lets just say he was a dirty bird