Does your partner having an interest in fitness matter to you?

AdamAthletic
AdamAthletic Posts: 2,985 Member
So, I've dated a fair number of people with no interest in health and fitness, I really didn't think it'd matter to me.. But, it does!

The sheer amount of time I spend in gyms and outdoors means that unless my other half has similar interests - we would hardly see each other!

What's other people's take?
Does it matter to you?
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Replies

  • knr87
    knr87 Posts: 2,013 Member
    I think it's necessary for me. I love living an active lifestyle. If the man I am with doesn't enjoy that then someone is sacrificing. I would love to do these things with him.
  • callmejessica
    callmejessica Posts: 1,868 Member
    I think it's important because I feel it's good to embrace a healthy lifestyle regardless of who you are to me. I really like staying active, so I would want a partner who is equally on the move or willing and able to keep up.
  • AdamAthletic
    AdamAthletic Posts: 2,985 Member
    Conversely I had a policy of steering clear of gym addicts, though a handful expressed interest when I was on the prowl.

    My reasoning was that there is room for only one vain person under a roof and I have always been immensely vain :p
    Ironically, I prefer being with someone who is a little vain for that exact reason.. So am I and I make no apologies lol!!

    knr87 wrote: »
    I think it's necessary for me. I love living an active lifestyle. If the man I am with doesn't enjoy that then someone is sacrificing. I would love to do these things with him.

    That's a great way to look at it too, fitness is a great thing for bonding because there are so many different things that people can do together to keep/get fit!
    I think it's important because I feel it's good to embrace a healthy lifestyle regardless of who you are to me. I really like staying active, so I would want a partner who is equally on the move or willing and able to keep up.

    Totally agree with this too!
  • rebel_26
    rebel_26 Posts: 1,826 Member
    It's unimportant to me but a plus if she is into it.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I'm very active and love to dance. I love that my husband will dance with me, go for hikes, walks, and be generally active and adventurous. Plus good health means a long, healthy, happy life together.
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  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
    MsAmandaNJ wrote: »
    My husband has zero interest in health and fitness. I'd love it if he did, but that's like him wanting me to enjoy Star Wars.

    This!!! He can go to boardgame night, I don't have to be included. We don't have to have all the same interests although for his health I'd like him to have a little more interest.
  • MsAmandaNJ
    MsAmandaNJ Posts: 1,248 Member
    synchkat wrote: »
    MsAmandaNJ wrote: »
    My husband has zero interest in health and fitness. I'd love it if he did, but that's like him wanting me to enjoy Star Wars.

    This!!! He can go to boardgame night, I don't have to be included. We don't have to have all the same interests although for his health I'd like him to have a little more interest.

    Exactly. Sure, it'd be cool if he wasn't bored with my gym/workout stories, but I'd really like for him to care about his health. He recently said that he'll get concerned when he turns 40...as if quitting smoking, getting active, and eating right are going to be easier then. We'll see what happens in two years.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,988 Member
    Yes because there are things I like to do fitness wise (hiking, climbing, jogging, etc.) and if she can't join in, then she feels left out. And that usually doesn't turn out well for a long term relationship. Good thing my SO does want to stay in shape by being a ballroom competitor and instructor.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png
  • km8907
    km8907 Posts: 3,861 Member
    I try to get to the gym 5 days a week. Not out of vanity, but more so I don't want tons of loose skin and I have a desk job, so it's often the only exercise I get all day. My ex never wanted to exercise and made so many excuses, but didn't have any problems chirping up about how I shouldn't lift heavy weights because I'd lose my chest. So yeah, I want my partner to be active. I think if you care about someone, you should want to make some attempt to keep yourself healthy.
  • synchkat
    synchkat Posts: 37,368 Member
    MsAmandaNJ wrote: »
    synchkat wrote: »
    MsAmandaNJ wrote: »
    My husband has zero interest in health and fitness. I'd love it if he did, but that's like him wanting me to enjoy Star Wars.

    This!!! He can go to boardgame night, I don't have to be included. We don't have to have all the same interests although for his health I'd like him to have a little more interest.

    Exactly. Sure, it'd be cool if he wasn't bored with my gym/workout stories, but I'd really like for him to care about his health. He recently said that he'll get concerned when he turns 40...as if quitting smoking, getting active, and eating right are going to be easier then. We'll see what happens in two years.

    haha yes everything after 40 is WAY easier!!!
    I have been an athlete all my life. I like having my thing be my thing. I would gladly teach my husband to skate but he will never be as good as I am and I know that would frustrate him. It's bad enough I get all the glory when we go curling since I'm a "natural", I'm just a natural athlete. He's a natural thinker.
    He does need to do something but I won't force him that has to be his decision but I'm happy to have my alone time at the rink, well except when people want me to help them but then there are times I just sneak in so I can have the ice to myself
  • ItsMeGee3
    ItsMeGee3 Posts: 13,254 Member
    I really wish my husband had more interest in working out. He is not overweight and looks great but, his blood pressure is high and diabetes runs in his family (his sugar is not high but they are "watching" it). I'm a runner and I also lift heavy. He doesn't like the amount of time I spend at the gym or my Saturday morning "long runs" because of the amount of time I spend away from the house. Therefore, I get up at 4:00 AM so I can be at the gym by 5:00 and at work by 8:00. Not interrupting his schedule. It would be a lot easier if it were something we could do together.
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  • llaurenmarie
    llaurenmarie Posts: 1,260 Member
    After the last two relationships "throwing me off course", I'm determined to stay aware of myself and would be more drawn to someone with an active lifestyle now. It only is my fault if I let someone else effect my choices, but it'd certainly be a lot easier if we were just on the same page from the start!

    Single, yet married to my health
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,575 Member
    Yes, it matters. Neither my husband nor I have any interest in joining a gym, but we enjoy a lot of outdoor activities together. I am more focused on proper diet than him, but that's okay since I do most of the shopping and cooking. ;)
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  • strozman
    strozman Posts: 2,622 Member
    Important, just can't see myself with someone who isn't in to fitness
  • NorthCascades
    NorthCascades Posts: 10,968 Member
    Beth and I both value our fitness, we invest time and effort into it, eat well together, etc. I'm much more into the outdoors than she is, though. At first, we both thought this would sink us.

    Sometimes we rent a cabin out in the mountains. She likes to read, or paint, or watch a movie, or play a game, in the hot tub, while I go out and do a really difficult ride or hike or climb. We both enjoy the "me time" and it works really well for us.

    We do easier hikes together. Sometimes I come back and tell he about something beautiful I saw, and we go back and see it together.
  • mom23mangos
    mom23mangos Posts: 3,069 Member
    I've always been more into athletic pursuits than my husband. I love the outdoors, he hates it. That's OK for the most part as we have other interests we enjoy together like going to museums, plays, live music, etc. I would love to have a more active outdoor lifestyle including camping, hiking, etc., but its a compromise I've been willing to make. And now that the kids are older, I will probably start taking some weekend trips with them.
  • indiacaitlin
    indiacaitlin Posts: 691 Member
    It wouldn't be a deal breaker if they weren't into fitness at all, but it would be a really attractive quality if they were. I love to go and do things like play badminton/run/go for walks in my free time and to share that with someone would be great and obviously a bonus of any relationship!
  • Fit4LifeGal79
    Fit4LifeGal79 Posts: 5,577 Member
    I would prefer it but it's not a deal breaker.
  • MoonKat7
    MoonKat7 Posts: 358 Member
    It's important to me. Not just into fitness but into bodybuilding and healthy eating. I tried dating guys who didn't lift and it was always small arguments about the gym time and the food choices, I always found myself explaining why.

    Life is too short be with someone who shares your passion and support your lifestyle.
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Yeah I wish my husband was more into outdoor stuff (and I don't mean sitting on a bench at the park playing on your phone). But to be fair, once you have kids, it's a whole new game anyway.
  • keyka777rosco
    keyka777rosco Posts: 28 Member
    Me and my husband are a team we work out together and keep each other accountable ☺working out and eating healthy is just a part of or daily life style. I'm blessed in this area I have dated guys before though and I'm a very out going person so it never really worked to be with someone that doesn't like to do stuff .
  • I think there has to be at minimum an understanding that being fit does not mean thinking about working out once or twice a month. If your partner actively works out and understands what it takes to stay fit then you have one less thing that will cause tension and stress in the relationship. Been married twice, the first time I had no support and in fact got into arguments about going for a ride or doing anything out of the house (there were other issues in play) - dating in between I ran across a number of women who said they did not think I had time to date with my kids and the riding I do regularly - finally I found someone who understood and now spends as much time as I do on the bike if not more. I figure I got exceedingly lucky and would have just been happy for a level of understanding and support.
  • Liftheavylovehard
    Liftheavylovehard Posts: 5,393 Member
    Very important. I want someone who takes their fitness and health seriously. And i need a spotter at the gym.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    I'm very active and love to dance. I love that my husband will dance with me, go for hikes, walks, and be generally active and adventurous. Plus good health means a long, healthy, happy life together.

    I just want to add to my previous comment that we don't do everything together. My husband isn't into the gym. So, I go on my own. When I join a new gym he gets a five day pass to go with me, but that's it. I have weights at home now, though. And he helped me by getting a barbell cut for me out of steel pipe at the metal supermarket. And he built a bench for me to use for my hip thrusts (and can flip it around and it was also a doll house for our daughters). He also sometimes goes out to run on his own or hike with friends or play soccer. I do tons of dancing without him of course. But, I love that he is recreationally active with me. And recreational social dancing. He doesn't dance as good as I do, and doesn't have as much stamina (I can dance high energy for six hours with very small breaks for a sip of water). But, I love that he will dance with me.
  • AmandaHugginkiss
    AmandaHugginkiss Posts: 486 Member
    Having common interests is crucial. Being into fitness is crucial. Being so into fitness that there's little time for anything else is not a goal.

    We go through cycles. There are times where we both go full speed into fitness and work out for four hour stretches. Then there are times where we spend more time enjoying adult beverages and good food while in the sofa. Usually these cycles match up. Relationship-wise, that's what matters.