Ashamed about my judgment

A high percentage of people gain the weight back my father in law did because they don't address the issue that caused the problem. And any one that goes on a almost liquid dit for a mouth would loss vast amounts of wight.the best thing to do is look at it this why hard work pays off and you want forget what it took to get there.so you will want to keep it off so you don't have to do the work again. In my opinion that is

The check she wrote was quite large, and most of us would take several years of extraordinarily more difficult than weight loss patience to save that much money. My married and well-paid daughter had a surgical procedure to promote weight loss. I think it was a lap band. It was just a check for her, leftover cash. I have never contemplated surgical intervention for myself. In July I saw her, about a year after her procedure, and 6 months into my journey. She's not losing as fast as I. Just because money can be spent is no guarantee that it will be spent well. As you yourself say, the first check she wrote turns out to have been wasted money. Life is several years in sequence and with your neighbor's lack of self-discipline the second check is likely to prove wasted money also. Your mind is far more powerful than her check-book. Use it.

Use it as inspiration. Motivate yourself. Even if it seems easy for others, we don't know their struggles. I'm sure her journey hasn't been easy. Enjoy yours!

I lost my weight the old fashioned sweat and calorie way, but at the same time, I don't believe the operation route is easy either. I know a couple of women who had it. One gained it all back and more, as so long in deprivation meant she couldn't sustain it. The other has lost her weight but at the expense of pleasure of food, and stomach/toilet issues.

You neighbour might look as if she has it easy, but from what I've seen of people living it, writing a cheque isn't as easy a road as outsiders looking in think. They just rarely mention the difficult bits of it, because they've spent so much money and justifying that is key for their success. There are also so many things that can go wrong with operations and infections.

I've lost my weight and am now living a whole new lifestyle. We all choose our own paths to weight loss. None of them are easy. As someone else wrote, you do you. If she's so overweight, and you only have 40lbs to lose, the stakes aren't equal. I'd probably have been secretly jealous of you when I was huge. Swings and roundabouts. I don't get jealous now. I'm master of my own destiny in weight loss and so are you. If you're ready for your journey, you'll find the motivation. Why not try some workout plans and include your neighbour. This is tough for her too, but just in different ways that it's tough for those of us who change our lifestyle to do it.

Good luck, and I hope you can work it out.

WLS is not all rainbows and sunshine. Although she is happy with her weight loss now, some permanent changes have happened to her body with permanent side effects and different kinds of restriction. She just chose a different hard even if she doesn't feel it yet. Keep on doing what you are doing and know that both routes require habit modifications, the only difference is that these modifications are mechanically forced in case WLS and you don't have a choice not to make them because not following the recommendations would make you very uncomfortable. In the long run, after you both lose the weight you need to lose, she is left with possible persistent health side effects like bile reflux and malnutrition and possible transient side effects like bowel obstruction while you will be free of these oddities. Don't envy her or think that she chose the easy way out, she just chose a different way out that carries its own challenges.

I can relate to this 100%! My middle sister had WLS nearly 2 years ago and I have watched as she has been able to lose a massive amount of weight. She is a breast cancer survivor whose body had been pummeled by chemo and various other drugs. Her body just became completely unperceptive to any efforts she made to lose the weight she gained through her treatment. Her doctor recommended the surgery as a drastic step to get her to lose weight and reduce her chance for a cancer recurrence. The sister side of me completely supports this. It was the right choice for her. I know in my brain that this has not been easy for her. BUT. I started my WL efforts nearly a year ago and had lost over 40 pounds, recently regained a few pounds and am getting ready to tackle the last 50 pounds I need to lose. During my WL, not a single person ever noticed the changes I was trying. Everyone raved about my sister and how fabulous she looks. She does. She has beautiful collar bones, she can share clothes with her daughters, she moves easier, she is a skinny, blonde haired, blue eyed, sparkly girl. I stand next to her and disappear. I feel disappointed in myself and how I look - despite the GREAT accomplishment of weight loss I have achieved. I have moments that I try to avoid being photographed with her because I don't want to be the fat sister. I feel completely inferior next to her. It is really difficult to stay focused on my own accomplishments, but, I continue to try. I continue to try and see the great things I accomplish the "old fashioned way" and try to keep in mind that I would not want to spend the rest of my life only eating maybe a half cup of food every meal or not be able to sit down with a couple glasses of wine. I try to remind myself that I still can have the joy of food (in moderation of course) whereas she really can't. It's definitely not easy at all though.

Thanks for stating this thread. I try to talk to others about how I feel and people just don't seem to get it. It is comforting to know I am not the only one that struggles with feeling this way. All the comments here have been extremely helpful and encouraging! Take care and keep fighting your way down the scale.

But here you are taking a very hard look at your own attitude and making some difficult admissions. Not everyone is able to do that. That is a great starting place!