Called fat at work

oh lord i would have told him to piss off and mind his business.
Also this person is no one so dont let him distract you.

TacheNoir wrote: »

If you're fat then you're fat. I'm not thin-skinned or sensitive about it. It's really not a big deal. I just say "Yeah, still working on it", or "Yeah, I know right?", and keep it moving.

I don't let other people determine how I feel about myself. And I'm not in denial about being overweight, either. I'm all for discussing it freely and calling a spade a spade. Humans judge - that's just the way it is. Happens everywhere, and no amount of PC rubbish is going to change that. Thank goodness for people brave enough to speak up - keeps me accountable.

so you cant see in the mirror if you are getting too big or too small. I have to wait for rude colleague to come inform me of the status of my weight.I dont need anyone to come and mind my business. The scales and my skirts can tell me the truth thanks.

Now if OP had gone to her rude colleague and asked for his opinion, then she has to then listen to anything foolish that comes out of his mouth

coreyreichle wrote: »

Chef_Barbell wrote: »

cinnag4225 wrote: »

ald783 wrote: »

cinnag4225 wrote: »

Unpopular opinion time: Replace "fat" with "alcohol" and everyone would be hailing the coworker a hero and telling you not to get so emotional.

Not at all. It is also not OK to comment on your coworker's struggle with drinking or alcoholism.

Both can be potentially serious issues but it's not being "touchy feely" to not want your coworkers to comment negatively on either scenario. I love when people want to mask being a *kitten* by rephrasing it as "society is too sensitive or easily offended".

Actually it's not only appropriate, but necessary to address personal problems that affect the workplace (which drinking or a 50lb weight gain WILL do; I hope the best for the OP, but she's lucky it was someone who is actually concerned about her asking rather than management who has to consider productivity and liability risk). Good execution of the zero-accountability mentality that has fueled the obesity crisis though.

How in the world does that affect the workplace? Yeah... no. Mind your business at work and I will mind mine.

ETA- And if it did it should come from management, not some random d-bag co-worker. Eff outta here.

Well, obese individuals are less productive, and use more sick time. We could start there.

very interesting. lol
so does it matter how obese you are? Or does it depend on the type of job the obese person is doing?
My attendance record has always been excellent

1. If you think you're fat and want to change it, change it.
2. IF someone said that to you at work, and it was just out of nowhere, mean. And you weren't talking about weight, then I'd suggest taking it to HR.

coreyreichle wrote: »

Chef_Barbell wrote: »

cinnag4225 wrote: »

ald783 wrote: »

cinnag4225 wrote: »

Unpopular opinion time: Replace "fat" with "alcohol" and everyone would be hailing the coworker a hero and telling you not to get so emotional.

Not at all. It is also not OK to comment on your coworker's struggle with drinking or alcoholism.

Both can be potentially serious issues but it's not being "touchy feely" to not want your coworkers to comment negatively on either scenario. I love when people want to mask being a *kitten* by rephrasing it as "society is too sensitive or easily offended".

Actually it's not only appropriate, but necessary to address personal problems that affect the workplace (which drinking or a 50lb weight gain WILL do; I hope the best for the OP, but she's lucky it was someone who is actually concerned about her asking rather than management who has to consider productivity and liability risk). Good execution of the zero-accountability mentality that has fueled the obesity crisis though.

How in the world does that affect the workplace? Yeah... no. Mind your business at work and I will mind mine.

ETA- And if it did it should come from management, not some random d-bag co-worker. Eff outta here.

Well, obese individuals are less productive, and use more sick time. We could start there.

No... just stop. No.

TacheNoir wrote: »

If you're fat then you're fat. I'm not thin-skinned or sensitive about it. It's really not a big deal. I just say "Yeah, still working on it", or "Yeah, I know right?", and keep it moving.

I don't let other people determine how I feel about myself. And I'm not in denial about being overweight, either. I'm all for discussing it freely and calling a spade a spade. Humans judge - that's just the way it is. Happens everywhere, and no amount of PC rubbish is going to change that. Thank goodness for people brave enough to speak up - keeps me accountable.

That's you. And I applaud you for having that kind of confidence and sense of self-worth.

But not everyone is you. It is not too much to expect a certain level of appropriate behavior from the people we work with. For the OP, for me, and I suspect, for a lot of people, that kind of remark hurts. It hurts a lot and it sets me back.

Yes, it would be fantastic to be where you are, but most of us aren't and also, even if we were--what the OP experienced is still not acceptable.

coreyreichle wrote: »

Chef_Barbell wrote: »

cinnag4225 wrote: »

ald783 wrote: »

cinnag4225 wrote: »

Unpopular opinion time: Replace "fat" with "alcohol" and everyone would be hailing the coworker a hero and telling you not to get so emotional.

Not at all. It is also not OK to comment on your coworker's struggle with drinking or alcoholism.

Both can be potentially serious issues but it's not being "touchy feely" to not want your coworkers to comment negatively on either scenario. I love when people want to mask being a *kitten* by rephrasing it as "society is too sensitive or easily offended".

Actually it's not only appropriate, but necessary to address personal problems that affect the workplace (which drinking or a 50lb weight gain WILL do; I hope the best for the OP, but she's lucky it was someone who is actually concerned about her asking rather than management who has to consider productivity and liability risk). Good execution of the zero-accountability mentality that has fueled the obesity crisis though.

How in the world does that affect the workplace? Yeah... no. Mind your business at work and I will mind mine.

ETA- And if it did it should come from management, not some random d-bag co-worker. Eff outta here.

Well, obese individuals are less productive, and use more sick time. We could start there.

Once again, if a person's personal problems are impacting their work somehow, that's a conversation to be had between manager and employee. The coworker had no business making a comment to the OP about her weight, especially since in the context given it obviously did not relate to her work at all, and even if it did it still wouldn't have been appropriate.

Also, just because one study showed an average doesn't make it universally applicable to every obese person. Three of the hardest-working, never-miss-a-day people in my office are obese. The two people who take the most sick days are normal weight and go to the gym regularly. Since we're dealing with an individual's thread, let's not bring generalizations into it. Take it over to the debate forum if you want to discuss that study.

ald783 wrote: »

Is anyone else's head exploding at how many people actually think it's acceptable to comment on someone else's weight or appearance? And then defending it with the logic "well it's true, they're fat, so..." I don't know if people are really this ignorant and act this way in real life or it's just the internet so people just say whatever they feel like.

Fat hate is a real thing.

Agree 100%
Very twisted logic IMHO

I once worked out of an office where during Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, one of the employees, who was obsessed with not only being thin but with everyone else being thin, referred to someone's else 7-year-old in the child's hearing as a "a fat pig."

It is never acceptable to do that.

The thing is that once it is said, it is said.

We have been giving suggestions on what to do.

Living in the world means people are going to throw insults at you. No way out of that. People just don't think before they speak. All of them. Even you who are upset, you too have hurt someone's feelings at some point. Those of you who are indignant about this - how do you propose to stop it? You can't.

What you can do is craft a response - which is what we are saying.

There is sometimes a kernel of truth in insults. Sometimes not, and I don't think it's right that this person said what he said, BUT - once it is said, there is a moment for anger, then a moment for learning.

The learning comes by how healthy you are in the reaction to the comment. Spewing hate back at him is not the answer. HOWEVER - if one is over-weight, like I once was and had comments made to me - then I had to own it and do something about it. I could stay big and get all mad and go eat, or I could accept that I was big and do something to get smaller. I mean, if I'm fat, I'm fat. No need to sugar coat reality.

ald783 wrote: »

Is anyone else's head exploding at how many people actually think it's acceptable to comment on someone else's weight or appearance? And then defending it with the logic "well it's true, they're fat, so..." I don't know if people are really this ignorant and act this way in real life or it's just the internet so people just say whatever they feel like.

Fat hate is a real thing.

cmriverside wrote: »

The thing is that once it is said, it is said.

We have been giving suggestions on what to do.

Living in the world means people are going to throw insults at you. No way out of that. People just don't think before they speak. All of them. Even you who are upset, you too have hurt someone's feelings at some point. Those of you who are indignant about this - how do you propose to stop it? You can't.

What you can do is craft a response - which is what we are saying.

There is sometimes a kernel of truth in insults. Sometimes not, and I don't think it's right that this person said what he said, BUT - once it is said, there is a moment for anger, then a moment for learning.

The learning comes by how healthy you are in the reaction to the comment. Spewing hate back at him is not the answer. HOWEVER - if one is over-weight, like I once was and had comments made to me - then I had to own it and do something about it. I could stay big and get all mad and go eat, or I could accept that I was big and do something to get smaller. I mean, if I'm fat, I'm fat. No need to sugar coat reality.

ald783 wrote: »

Is anyone else's head exploding at how many people actually think it's acceptable to comment on someone else's weight or appearance? And then defending it with the logic "well it's true, they're fat, so..." I don't know if people are really this ignorant and act this way in real life or it's just the internet so people just say whatever they feel like.

Fat hate is a real thing.

I see what you are saying, but OP is already working on it. Doing what she can with the time she has. This is like making fun of a fat person at the gym. Makes no sense.

cmriverside wrote: »

Chef_Barbell wrote: »

cmriverside wrote: »

The thing is that once it is said, it is said.

We have been giving suggestions on what to do.

Living in the world means people are going to throw insults at you. No way out of that. People just don't think before they speak. All of them. Even you who are upset, you too have hurt someone's feelings at some point. Those of you who are indignant about this - how do you propose to stop it? You can't.

What you can do is craft a response - which is what we are saying.

There is sometimes a kernel of truth in insults. Sometimes not, and I don't think it's right that this person said what he said, BUT - once it is said, there is a moment for anger, then a moment for learning.

The learning comes by how healthy you are in the reaction to the comment. Spewing hate back at him is not the answer. HOWEVER - if one is over-weight, like I once was and had comments made to me - then I had to own it and do something about it. I could stay big and get all mad and go eat, or I could accept that I was big and do something to get smaller. I mean, if I'm fat, I'm fat. No need to sugar coat reality.

ald783 wrote: »

Is anyone else's head exploding at how many people actually think it's acceptable to comment on someone else's weight or appearance? And then defending it with the logic "well it's true, they're fat, so..." I don't know if people are really this ignorant and act this way in real life or it's just the internet so people just say whatever they feel like.

Fat hate is a real thing.

I see what you are saying, but OP is already working on it. Doing what she can with the time she has. This is like making fun of a fat person at the gym. Makes no sense.

Of course not.

But she cannot control what other people do or say, only her own reaction.

So - get mad, eat, or take it to HR, let it go, continue on your path?


There are always peaceful solutions.

I definitely agree with the take it to HR part.

Chef_Barbell wrote: »

not_my_first_rodeo wrote: »

I once worked out of an office where during Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, one of the employees, who was obsessed with not only being thin but with everyone else being thin, referred to someone's else 7-year-old in the child's hearing as a "a fat pig."

It is never acceptable to do that.

That would be the day I would have lost my job and possibly gotten arrested.

Damn right me too

I also just find it hard to believe that negative comments and insults are productive in helping someone lose weight and become healthier. Sure, in the moment it might be motivating because you're fueled by anger or hurt or whatever else and maybe that day or that week you eat a little healthier. But most people struggling with weight are already aware of their weight. It's not helpful to hear someone else tell you what you already know, and it's just negative energy and noise at that point which will burn out quickly.

I struggled with my weight for a long time and had a lot of self-loathing over the years as a result of it, but I think positivity is what ultimately helped me lose weight and maintain for the past several years. I wasn't happy every single day of my life but it helped to be happier with myself in the moment while also trying to get healthier. Someone telling me I was fat or not losing weight quickly enough along the way would have done zero good.