Called fat at work
Replies
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Chef_Barbell wrote: »cinnag4225 wrote: »cinnag4225 wrote: »Unpopular opinion time: Replace "fat" with "alcohol" and everyone would be hailing the coworker a hero and telling you not to get so emotional.
Not at all. It is also not OK to comment on your coworker's struggle with drinking or alcoholism.
Both can be potentially serious issues but it's not being "touchy feely" to not want your coworkers to comment negatively on either scenario. I love when people want to mask being a *kitten* by rephrasing it as "society is too sensitive or easily offended".
Actually it's not only appropriate, but necessary to address personal problems that affect the workplace (which drinking or a 50lb weight gain WILL do; I hope the best for the OP, but she's lucky it was someone who is actually concerned about her asking rather than management who has to consider productivity and liability risk). Good execution of the zero-accountability mentality that has fueled the obesity crisis though.
How in the world does that affect the workplace? Yeah... no. Mind your business at work and I will mind mine.
ETA- And if it did it should come from management, not some random d-bag co-worker. Eff outta here.
Well, obese individuals are less productive, and use more sick time. We could start there.2 -
oh lord i would have told him to piss off and mind his business.
Also this person is no one so dont let him distract you.3 -
coreyreichle wrote: »Chef_Barbell wrote: »cinnag4225 wrote: »cinnag4225 wrote: »Unpopular opinion time: Replace "fat" with "alcohol" and everyone would be hailing the coworker a hero and telling you not to get so emotional.
Not at all. It is also not OK to comment on your coworker's struggle with drinking or alcoholism.
Both can be potentially serious issues but it's not being "touchy feely" to not want your coworkers to comment negatively on either scenario. I love when people want to mask being a *kitten* by rephrasing it as "society is too sensitive or easily offended".
Actually it's not only appropriate, but necessary to address personal problems that affect the workplace (which drinking or a 50lb weight gain WILL do; I hope the best for the OP, but she's lucky it was someone who is actually concerned about her asking rather than management who has to consider productivity and liability risk). Good execution of the zero-accountability mentality that has fueled the obesity crisis though.
How in the world does that affect the workplace? Yeah... no. Mind your business at work and I will mind mine.
ETA- And if it did it should come from management, not some random d-bag co-worker. Eff outta here.
Well, obese individuals are less productive, and use more sick time. We could start there.
Seriously? NO!2 -
If you're fat then you're fat. I'm not thin-skinned or sensitive about it. It's really not a big deal. I just say "Yeah, still working on it", or "Yeah, I know right?", and keep it moving.
I don't let other people determine how I feel about myself. And I'm not in denial about being overweight, either. I'm all for discussing it freely and calling a spade a spade. Humans judge - that's just the way it is. Happens everywhere, and no amount of PC rubbish is going to change that. Thank goodness for people brave enough to speak up - keeps me accountable.
so you cant see in the mirror if you are getting too big or too small. I have to wait for rude colleague to come inform me of the status of my weight.I dont need anyone to come and mind my business. The scales and my skirts can tell me the truth thanks.
Now if OP had gone to her rude colleague and asked for his opinion, then she has to then listen to anything foolish that comes out of his mouth4 -
Well at least he's comfortable enough with you to be boldly and brutally honest? I don't like his word choice but the guy may have just motivated you into getting back in the saddle. It's hard working so much while caring for children and home. I'm sorry he wasn't more considerate of your feelings. I know that must have stung a bit.2
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coreyreichle wrote: »Chef_Barbell wrote: »cinnag4225 wrote: »cinnag4225 wrote: »Unpopular opinion time: Replace "fat" with "alcohol" and everyone would be hailing the coworker a hero and telling you not to get so emotional.
Not at all. It is also not OK to comment on your coworker's struggle with drinking or alcoholism.
Both can be potentially serious issues but it's not being "touchy feely" to not want your coworkers to comment negatively on either scenario. I love when people want to mask being a *kitten* by rephrasing it as "society is too sensitive or easily offended".
Actually it's not only appropriate, but necessary to address personal problems that affect the workplace (which drinking or a 50lb weight gain WILL do; I hope the best for the OP, but she's lucky it was someone who is actually concerned about her asking rather than management who has to consider productivity and liability risk). Good execution of the zero-accountability mentality that has fueled the obesity crisis though.
How in the world does that affect the workplace? Yeah... no. Mind your business at work and I will mind mine.
ETA- And if it did it should come from management, not some random d-bag co-worker. Eff outta here.
Well, obese individuals are less productive, and use more sick time. We could start there.
very interesting. lol
so does it matter how obese you are? Or does it depend on the type of job the obese person is doing?
My attendance record has always been excellent4 -
People seem to think they can say anything. I blame Facebook and Youtube. When people think you're "too thin" you get rude comments too... by the way...1
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1. If you think you're fat and want to change it, change it.
2. IF someone said that to you at work, and it was just out of nowhere, mean. And you weren't talking about weight, then I'd suggest taking it to HR.1 -
Seems a stupid comment on so many levels. I see plenty of "fat" people at the gym. Good for them, it is a great place for them to be. Being fat and working on it is far better than being fat and lazy.4
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coreyreichle wrote: »Chef_Barbell wrote: »cinnag4225 wrote: »cinnag4225 wrote: »Unpopular opinion time: Replace "fat" with "alcohol" and everyone would be hailing the coworker a hero and telling you not to get so emotional.
Not at all. It is also not OK to comment on your coworker's struggle with drinking or alcoholism.
Both can be potentially serious issues but it's not being "touchy feely" to not want your coworkers to comment negatively on either scenario. I love when people want to mask being a *kitten* by rephrasing it as "society is too sensitive or easily offended".
Actually it's not only appropriate, but necessary to address personal problems that affect the workplace (which drinking or a 50lb weight gain WILL do; I hope the best for the OP, but she's lucky it was someone who is actually concerned about her asking rather than management who has to consider productivity and liability risk). Good execution of the zero-accountability mentality that has fueled the obesity crisis though.
How in the world does that affect the workplace? Yeah... no. Mind your business at work and I will mind mine.
ETA- And if it did it should come from management, not some random d-bag co-worker. Eff outta here.
Well, obese individuals are less productive, and use more sick time. We could start there.
No... just stop. No.2 -
The most important thing is that you KNOW you're in control of your weight, because you've lost the weight before. I gained 10kg in about a month when I took my eye off the ball at the wrong point, but I know I can get the weight back off, it's just up to me.
Personally, I would have gone off on a rant about how exercise isn't always for weight loss. If I go to the gym it's to maintain muscle and improve strength, and maybe have fun at a class, improving my cardio health. If I want to lose weight, I eat less than I need. If I want to eat more while losing weight I exercise more too.0 -
If you're fat then you're fat. I'm not thin-skinned or sensitive about it. It's really not a big deal. I just say "Yeah, still working on it", or "Yeah, I know right?", and keep it moving.
I don't let other people determine how I feel about myself. And I'm not in denial about being overweight, either. I'm all for discussing it freely and calling a spade a spade. Humans judge - that's just the way it is. Happens everywhere, and no amount of PC rubbish is going to change that. Thank goodness for people brave enough to speak up - keeps me accountable.
That's you. And I applaud you for having that kind of confidence and sense of self-worth.
But not everyone is you. It is not too much to expect a certain level of appropriate behavior from the people we work with. For the OP, for me, and I suspect, for a lot of people, that kind of remark hurts. It hurts a lot and it sets me back.
Yes, it would be fantastic to be where you are, but most of us aren't and also, even if we were--what the OP experienced is still not acceptable.3 -
Well, that was rude! I have had that happen in the past, and my response it to look them straight in the eye and say "Really? I wasn't aware." in a very dry sarcastic voice. Generally it gives them pause.0
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coreyreichle wrote: »Chef_Barbell wrote: »cinnag4225 wrote: »cinnag4225 wrote: »Unpopular opinion time: Replace "fat" with "alcohol" and everyone would be hailing the coworker a hero and telling you not to get so emotional.
Not at all. It is also not OK to comment on your coworker's struggle with drinking or alcoholism.
Both can be potentially serious issues but it's not being "touchy feely" to not want your coworkers to comment negatively on either scenario. I love when people want to mask being a *kitten* by rephrasing it as "society is too sensitive or easily offended".
Actually it's not only appropriate, but necessary to address personal problems that affect the workplace (which drinking or a 50lb weight gain WILL do; I hope the best for the OP, but she's lucky it was someone who is actually concerned about her asking rather than management who has to consider productivity and liability risk). Good execution of the zero-accountability mentality that has fueled the obesity crisis though.
How in the world does that affect the workplace? Yeah... no. Mind your business at work and I will mind mine.
ETA- And if it did it should come from management, not some random d-bag co-worker. Eff outta here.
Well, obese individuals are less productive, and use more sick time. We could start there.
Once again, if a person's personal problems are impacting their work somehow, that's a conversation to be had between manager and employee. The coworker had no business making a comment to the OP about her weight, especially since in the context given it obviously did not relate to her work at all, and even if it did it still wouldn't have been appropriate.
Also, just because one study showed an average doesn't make it universally applicable to every obese person. Three of the hardest-working, never-miss-a-day people in my office are obese. The two people who take the most sick days are normal weight and go to the gym regularly. Since we're dealing with an individual's thread, let's not bring generalizations into it. Take it over to the debate forum if you want to discuss that study.1 -
coreyreichle wrote: »Chef_Barbell wrote: »cinnag4225 wrote: »cinnag4225 wrote: »Unpopular opinion time: Replace "fat" with "alcohol" and everyone would be hailing the coworker a hero and telling you not to get so emotional.
Not at all. It is also not OK to comment on your coworker's struggle with drinking or alcoholism.
Both can be potentially serious issues but it's not being "touchy feely" to not want your coworkers to comment negatively on either scenario. I love when people want to mask being a *kitten* by rephrasing it as "society is too sensitive or easily offended".
Actually it's not only appropriate, but necessary to address personal problems that affect the workplace (which drinking or a 50lb weight gain WILL do; I hope the best for the OP, but she's lucky it was someone who is actually concerned about her asking rather than management who has to consider productivity and liability risk). Good execution of the zero-accountability mentality that has fueled the obesity crisis though.
How in the world does that affect the workplace? Yeah... no. Mind your business at work and I will mind mine.
ETA- And if it did it should come from management, not some random d-bag co-worker. Eff outta here.
Well, obese individuals are less productive, and use more sick time. We could start there.
LOL so not true.1 -
Is anyone else's head exploding at how many people actually think it's acceptable to comment on someone else's weight or appearance? And then defending it with the logic "well it's true, they're fat, so..." I don't know if people are really this ignorant and act this way in real life or it's just the internet so people just say whatever they feel like.
Fat hate is a real thing.9 -
Is anyone else's head exploding at how many people actually think it's acceptable to comment on someone else's weight or appearance? And then defending it with the logic "well it's true, they're fat, so..." I don't know if people are really this ignorant and act this way in real life or it's just the internet so people just say whatever they feel like.
Fat hate is a real thing.
Yep, especially on a site like this. I know tough love is a thing here, but the people here are working on it as well. Don't need people ragging on them for what they are working to change. (Or even wanting to change)2 -
Is anyone else's head exploding at how many people actually think it's acceptable to comment on someone else's weight or appearance? And then defending it with the logic "well it's true, they're fat, so..." I don't know if people are really this ignorant and act this way in real life or it's just the internet so people just say whatever they feel like.
Fat hate is a real thing.
Agree 100%
Very twisted logic IMHO
1 -
Is anyone else's head exploding at how many people actually think it's acceptable to comment on someone else's weight or appearance? And then defending it with the logic "well it's true, they're fat, so..." I don't know if people are really this ignorant and act this way in real life or it's just the internet so people just say whatever they feel like.
Fat hate is a real thing.
It's complete nonsense. And then blaming the person for getting their feelings hurt from receiving an UNSOLICITED comment on their weight. OP doesn't need to develop thick skin, her coworker needs to learn to keep his comments to himself.3 -
I once worked out of an office where during Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, one of the employees, who was obsessed with not only being thin but with everyone else being thin, referred to someone's else 7-year-old in the child's hearing as a "a fat pig."
It is never acceptable to do that.0
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