Family's Blatant Lack of Understanding of Basic Nutrition
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Wow, my bad. Apparently I'm an ungrateful *kitten* for expressing a frustration I'm sure many of you could relate to at some point. I'm so glad you strangers on the internet know me well enough from one post to set me straight.
Maybe add some laugh/cry emoticons next time. Your post totally comes off as though you're mad at your family for not catering to you. It's text. Vocal inflections, facial expressions etc. don't come across.
Also, you seem to think butter is unhealthy, so you could definitely benefit from someone letting you know that's not true.15 -
Wow, my bad. Apparently I'm an ungrateful *kitten* for expressing a frustration I'm sure many of you could relate to at some point. I'm so glad you strangers on the internet know me well enough from one post to set me straight.
Perhaps you could not go to these dinners, if it's truly hindering your journey this badly.
Or you could go with the flow. Those folks that do not weigh food, count calories, don't understand.
Example: family.holiday get together.
"Holly, we're having hot dogs, chips and dip, potato salad, and banana pudding, can you eat that?"
"Of course, sounds great"
*serves self reasonable amount of the foods I like and want to eat. Overestimate calories, and doesn't worry, just enjoys the company. Maybe adds some extra cardio tomorrow*
"Thanks, auntie, that was delicious. I appreciate you having me here!"14 -
hollyrayburn wrote: »Wow, my bad. Apparently I'm an ungrateful *kitten* for expressing a frustration I'm sure many of you could relate to at some point. I'm so glad you strangers on the internet know me well enough from one post to set me straight.
Perhaps you could not go to these dinners, if it's truly hindering your journey this badly.
Or you could go with the flow. Those folks that do not weigh food, count calories, don't understand.
Example: family.holiday get together.
"Holly, we're having hot dogs, chips and dip, potato salad, and banana pudding, can you eat that?"
"Of course, sounds great"
*serves self reasonable amount of the foods I like and want to eat. Overestimate calories, and doesn't worry, just enjoys the company. Maybe adds some extra cardio tomorrow*
"Thanks, auntie, that was delicious. I appreciate you having me here!"
Exactly. I only see my family three or four times a year. They ask if I need something different or prepared a certain way.
"No, whatever you make is great."
That's my answer. I'm just happy to be there.11 -
Family's Blatant Lack of Understanding of Basic Nutrition Do they really not understand basic nutrition or just not understand that you need to eat a certain way to meet your goals. There is a big difference. Everyone, including me at over 3 times your age, is always learning about nutrition, mainly because they keep changing the rules. "Don't eat butter, eat margarine. Don't eat avocados, coconut, those fats are bad. Don't eat eggs. Carbs are good, fats are bad. Corn syrup is bad, no wait, it's ok. Salt is bad, now it's not." On and on. Don't get frustrated with them, explain to them what you're trying to do and like others have said, just eat what you want and don't stress over it. You're on the right path. Learning to eat for you is the first step, but don't be too critical of someone who doesn't "get it."9
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When I started, they kind of didn't take my needs into consideration with meal planning if they were going to have me for dinner. Now they kind of do, but it's almost worse than it was before. They've added veggies to the menu, but they cook them ALL in butter and tons of salt. Totally kills the low calorie aspect and *kitten* the nutrition. I may as well eat pizza but stop after one piece.
They are so proud of themselves too...
"Is this healthy?"
"Uh..no, not exactly.."
"But why? We have three kinds of veggies."
Yeah, you did. But you've smothered them in other unhealthy *kitten*...veggies are delicious why do you feel the need to kill them with grease?
I feel for you. I would want my family to feel appreciated but wouldn't want the butter and salt either. I remember being in a foreign country when somebody proudly gave me cookies cooked with lard (more lard than cookie). I ate one.
Options:
Eat before you go to their house so you aren't hungry and then eat a tiny amount.
Tell them you appreciate the vegetables, but ask if you can season your serving yourself.
Show up early to help cook and set some for yourself aside.
Bring a dish with food to share cooked the way you want it.
Eat some of it regardless. How often do you eat there and will it hurt you?
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I will try to say this as nicely as possible without trying to sound like an *kitten*. You changed. They didn't. You cannot (and should not) expect them to change to accommodate you. It sounds to me like they tried and it was not good enough. If our 21 year old son decided that he no longer likes the way we cook our food, then it will be up to him to feed himself.
Of course in my house him and I like to cook things together so I doubt it would ever come to that. Perhaps you could give that a try?17 -
Wow, my bad. Apparently I'm an ungrateful *kitten* for expressing a frustration I'm sure many of you could relate to at some point. I'm so glad you strangers on the internet know me well enough from one post to set me straight.
Sister, I am sorry. Sometimes these MFPers can be super judgmental and jump on the Judgement-Train pretty quickly. There is *nothing wrong* with wanting your veggies to be served without butter and salt. Heck, I have never made veggies with butter/salt for my kids, and I am nearly 50 years old. Just very kindly, politely ask them to set some aside without the fats/salts, and if they don't , you can easily just stop eating there.
Having said that, my daughters are 18 and 22 and I would be heartbroken if they stopped eating dinner with me because of a silly issue like butter and salt, and I would do my best to leave those (mostly unnecessary) items off of their vegetables. I am betting that your parents/family members love you just as much to do the same4 -
There's nothing wrong with wanting to eat a low fat/low sodium diet, but this is also your thing, not theirs. If I'm not sure that there will be something that I can/want to eat, I bring a dish to pass that I know fits within my own nutrition parameters. I've been on a variety of diets in the past, both for weight loss, and for medical issues, and I never expected people to cater to those diets when they invited me over. Maybe offer to come over and cook with your family?1
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The suggestion of bringing dishes to share or cooking for your family is good because it shows them what you like to eat and you get what you want in a non-threatening way. When someone else has bought the food and cooked the food you don't really have room to complain unless they serve you something they know you are deathly allergic to.
Butter doesn't destroy nutritional content of vegetables. It adds fat and calories but the nutrition is still there. If they are not used to cooking vegetables it can be difficult to figure out what way is best. Sounds like they were trying to accommodate you.
Healthy means different things to different people.
A relative lectured me recently that the only real salad is one with iceburg lettuce and tomato. I think iceburg lettuce is the worst salad in terms of nutrition and flavor. There are very strong preferences on both sides. I ate his salad and just said I usually preferred darker greens. This is not a hill to die on.6 -
It's okay to feel frustrated. Just recognize that your family is actively trying to accommodate your needs. I have to make everything myself For health issues, and bring my own food to events and restaurants (Every once in a while I'll order/find a side that won't make me sick ). Because I save money from not buying a bunch of snacks or going out, I am able to buy local grass-fed foods. I like to do research on most of the food I eat. I know organic and other labels don't mean squat, but how animals are being fed and treated are important to me. I don't ask others to buy food for me, but sometimes my dad will bring home something like Target's organic eggs. Bless his heart, he takes labels and looks ('they're brown eggs!) at face value. I just feel so touched that he wants to help that I eat them. They're still delicious! We like to talk about food a lot, especially in regards to health and economics, so I just use those opportunities to make general comments about why I buy foods the way I do. He has picked up on it to some extent.
Anyway, my point is they're not doing what you're doing, so appreciated their efforts. Continue to communicate with them about your goals and how they can help. Send them recipes, bring your own dish for all of them to enjoy, or go early and cook with them. See if they're willing to do an activity that is not food related every now and then, like bowling.3 -
Wow, my bad. Apparently I'm an ungrateful *kitten* for expressing a frustration I'm sure many of you could relate to at some point. I'm so glad you strangers on the internet know me well enough from one post to set me straight.
So, you're expecting strangers on the Internet to read your mind about what kind of response you would like. I'm wondering if you also expect your family to read your mind about what you mean by "healthy."16 -
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Do you live with them? how often do they cook for you?1
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You need to talk to your family (rather than rant about them on the internet using pretty unpleasant and judgemental phrases), butter and salt can be added after cooking as a compromise for example.
Or you could cook for a change?4 -
You can work with this. As someone said,it's family first. My Mama was a great cook with no knowledge of nutrition,adding home made butter to all veggies,home made bread & sweet rolls.Yes,she tried...saying I only added a " bit" of butter today.Her bit was a nice hunk!
I simply learned to pick & choose.Did the best I could by appreciating her home cooked food.Thankfully,We never had a bad word over food.
My parents are gone now,along with my Bro & a Sis.
You are young & still learning. My advice is to love your family,enjoy your meals with them & just cut back where you can....in your own kitchen.
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Because you have a basic understanding of calories/macros, it doesn't mean everyone else does. If you are trying to lose weight then at some point you must not have had that knowledge either.
That being said, I do not discuss health/fitness/gym/diet with anyone, even my family, as their ignorance is astounding.5 -
trigden1991 wrote: »Because you have a basic understanding of calories/macros, it doesn't mean everyone else does. If you are trying to lose weight then at some point you must not have had that knowledge either.
That being said, I do not discuss health/fitness/gym/diet with anyone, even my family, as their ignorance is astounding.
This made me think of my mother-in-law who when her doctor told her to cut down on salt in her diet, switched to sea salt because, in her words, "it contains no sodium."10 -
A few suggestions you could try:
eat alone,
cook all of your own meals,
print out this little rant and present it to your family.
Hope that helps.2 -
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