We broke up because...
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His 8 kids were a deal breaker0
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She never came home on Saturday nights.0
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She came home on Saturday nights but it was the wrong house,.,0
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He enjoyed fixing tennis racket strings more than he enjoyed fixing our relationship.
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So clingy 0
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Never used fabric softener0
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was bathing in fabric softner0
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Used up all the DVR space
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Wouldn't upgrade the cable package0
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Used the dried up toothpaste around the sink as peppermints for Halloween0
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He actually celebrated Halloween0
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Always clogged up the drain with her hair0
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Couldn't afford a plumber0
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She had an affair with the plumber0
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He found out about the dismembered plumbers in my closet.
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Although she owned her own business, she only accepted payment in $2 bills0
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His business was totally illegal.0
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Too straightlaced0
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He only drank from straws - even when drinking sacramental wine0
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I got into their naughty toys stash and confused one of their toys for a boomerang.0
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When eating cereal, she always separated the milk from the cereal0
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Apparently from the post above ("him" and "she") I didn't have the desired genetalia...
#HermaphroditeProblems1 -
I couldn't figure out what gender he was. He was confused. Poor guy.0
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He wouldn't get me what I asked for for Christmas0
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Hypothetically, he literally took eveything figuratively. And I'm not speaking metaphorically.0
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I never knew what he really meant0
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Turned out he WAS a dude...my bad.
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