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We broke up because...
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He was judgmental0
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Freaked out when I served up crispy duck for dinner0
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she came home from work without knickers on!0
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It was my pet duck!0
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Duck isn't the word I thought she used. She almost beat me to death0
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He was on fire, I tried to smother it with a blanket and he thought I was trying to kill him0
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Turned out he had a blanket fetish...0
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she got too creeped out by my fetishes0
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He liked to lick butter off my feet0
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her feet were too ticklish0
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He started touching other women's feet0
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she wasn't in to feetsomes0
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He made a rubber copy of my feet and carried them with him everywhere.0
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she smoked pot0
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He hired an assassin to kill me0
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too much mascara0
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I just wanted to nibble...0
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she didn't nibble she was a biter0
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He used chocolate body wash..I couldn't help wanting to bite0
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Kept covering herself in chocolate and refused to give me the calorie count. It became too frustrating to log correctly.0
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