I Need To Vent
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Hang in there Elphie! Rant away! Long showers help me too!1
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I do think journaling might help. It helped me a lot during my pregnancies. They were mostly easy, but I do often deal with irrational fears and that was worse when I was pregnant. Writing it down often helps to just get it out there. Hormones also suck, I never realized that until I was pregnant either. I'm afraid I don't really have much helpful advice, but do want you to know that you aren't alone and it is ok to vent.1
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So sorry you are having a hard time. My mom told me when she was pregnant with my youngest sister that it was really hard for her - she had 6 kids under the age of 10 and my dad worked two jobs and the last pregnancy was a difficult one. She said sometimes she just wanted to sit in the bathroom and cry (hard to do with only one bathroom and all those kids!). But she said what really helped was remembering that it wasn't forever and that the end result was well worth going through the hard times. That always stuck with me, such a great way to look at it.
Hang in there, you're strong and will get through it.3 -
That's a lot to handle. I'm sorry. I ended up taking a month off BEFORE my second was born, because I was having prodromal labor from 10am to 7pm everyday.
Box breathing is what I do when I'm about to freak out like a volcano of crazy. It won't fix anything, but it's gives you space. And I second the journaling. Even just writing down all those negative thoughts and throwing that piece of paper away with makes me feel lighter.
We are here, anonymous internet support, if you need to drop your basket for a little while.
Thank you. I have been trying calming breathing but only helps for so long.ladyreva78 wrote: »No advice. Just a sympathetic ear and a hug.
Sending lots of hugs!queenliz99 wrote: »Hang in there Elphie! Rant away! Long showers help me too!
Thank you.I do think journaling might help. It helped me a lot during my pregnancies. They were mostly easy, but I do often deal with irrational fears and that was worse when I was pregnant. Writing it down often helps to just get it out there. Hormones also suck, I never realized that until I was pregnant either. I'm afraid I don't really have much helpful advice, but do want you to know that you aren't alone and it is ok to vent.I do think journaling might help. It helped me a lot during my pregnancies. They were mostly easy, but I do often deal with irrational fears and that was worse when I was pregnant. Writing it down often helps to just get it out there. Hormones also suck, I never realized that until I was pregnant either. I'm afraid I don't really have much helpful advice, but do want you to know that you aren't alone and it is ok to vent.
I honestly didn't think my hormones would make me this emotional, but was proven wrong. In the beginning I wasn't as emotional, but now it's driving me crazy.1 -
queenliz99 wrote: »Hang in there Elphie! Rant away! Long showers help me too!
Lol at least we don't pay for water or we'd be broke.So sorry you are having a hard time. My mom told me when she was pregnant with my youngest sister that it was really hard for her - she had 6 kids under the age of 10 and my dad worked two jobs and the last pregnancy was a difficult one. She said sometimes she just wanted to sit in the bathroom and cry (hard to do with only one bathroom and all those kids!). But she said what really helped was remembering that it wasn't forever and that the end result was well worth going through the hard times. That always stuck with me, such a great way to look at it.
Hang in there, you're strong and will get through it.
True. I keep reminding myself that I am more than half way there.3 -
Hi -- I struggle with intrusive anxious thoughts about my husband getting angry with me or him asking me to leave. One thing that has helped me a lot is going through a series of questions my therapist suggested, they're designed for helping anxiety based on jumping to conclusions. You may be familiar with them already, but I'm typing them below in case you haven't seen them. Please feel free to ignore if you aren't looking for tips. They've just been useful for me. Wishing you well.
1. How do I know for certain that ___ will happen?
2. Am I 100% sure that these awful consequences will occur?
3. What evidence do I have for this fear or belief?
4. What has happened in this past with this situation?
5. Am I psychic? How can I be so sure about the answer?
6. Could there be any other explanation?
7. How much does it feel like ___ will happen? What is the true chance that ___ will happen?
8. Is my negative prediction being driven by the intense emotions that I am experiencing?8 -
janejellyroll wrote: »Hi -- I struggle with intrusive anxious thoughts about my husband getting angry with me or him asking me to leave. One thing that has helped me a lot is going through a series of questions my therapist suggested, they're designed for helping anxiety based on jumping to conclusions. You may be familiar with them already, but I'm typing them below in case you haven't seen them. Please feel free to ignore if you aren't looking for tips. They've just been useful for me. Wishing you well.
1. How do I know for certain that ___ will happen?
2. Am I 100% sure that these awful consequences will occur?
3. What evidence do I have for this fear or belief?
4. What has happened in this past with this situation?
5. Am I psychic? How can I be so sure about the answer?
6. Could there be any other explanation?
7. How much does it feel like ___ will happen? What is the true chance that ___ will happen?
8. Is my negative prediction being driven by the intense emotions that I am experiencing?
Thank you for this. I think this may actually help me be more rational.
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I'm so so sorry you are dealing with so much stress! I'm glad it sounds like you have a supportive OB and home life. Even in the best of circumstances pregnancy is tough. L&D is especially hard!
Have you considered finding a doula? Having someone to support you during pregnancy and labor and have your back when things get tough and crazy could be a big help. Just one option to look into!
1 -
SuperNerd42 wrote: »I'm so so sorry you are dealing with so much stress! I'm glad it sounds like you have a supportive OB and home life. Even in the best of circumstances pregnancy is tough. L&D is especially hard!
Have you considered finding a doula? Having someone to support you during pregnancy and labor and have your back when things get tough and crazy could be a big help. Just one option to look into!
No I haven't and really don't know much about them. Will look into it though. Thank you.0 -
tcunbeliever wrote: »You didn't specify how far along in your pregnancy you are, but I'm going to assume 3rd trimester if you are having contractions...I have 3 children, it's been a long time since I was pregnant, but I do remember what it's like and I had 3 pretty easy pregnancies even though I pretty much wanted to die or kill someone most of the last month for each of them.
hospitals - good for you standing up for yourself, OB/GYN doctors can be very invasive and completely insensitive and far too often treat pregnancy like some kind of disease instead of the normal life process it really is...definitely don't agree to anything that makes you uncomfortable, and definitely insist on a female doctor if that will make you more comfortable...anything that stresses you out is going to stress out the baby...
work - you are in the USA, which means your job is protected for at least 12 weeks assuming you have worked there at least 1 year and have not maxed out your FMLA. It is very common for pregnant women to miss time during their pregnancy, this is not something you should worry about particularly if you are having pain and contractions...rest, hydrate, eat healthy, your body is doing a lot of work even when you are not doing anything.
home - it sounds like you have a supportive home life, of course they aren't going to abandon you when you are dealing with huge hormone issues and what sounds like a challenging pregnancy...everything you are feeling sounds pretty normal, melting down over nothing, being totally stressed out all the time, particularly since you are sleep deprived and in pain, these are normal reactions to the situation, even if they aren't fun to deal with, just know that this is totally normal and not out of the ordinary.
Things you can do - you need to get some rest and destress and try to remain calm, which I know is easier said than done. Try to do whatever will relax or comfort you.
have some chammomile or licorice tea
have a hot shower
watch a favorite show/movie
yoga or walking or breathing exercises
cuddling and/or talking with anyone who is supportive
eating favorite foods (I know it's generally bad advice to use food for comfort, but seriously you are already dealing with so much, humans are hard wired to take comfort in food, it's ok once in a while)
Very good advice here. Except chamomile tea is actually on the "unsafe" list - so maybe a different tea.
Other ideas could be to take bath. I find it relaxing to turn on the shower, plug the drain, cover my face (except nose) with cloth and lay there as the tub fills. Perhaps you could get a pregnancy massage (either professional or from a partner) and see if you can get those muscles to relax a little. However, definitely watch your hydration levels!
Agreed don't worry about your SOs. Try to be kind, but also realize they DO know that you're in a stage of life where its not easy to control your emotions and will accept you for that. You could even talk to them about your worries if you're feeling up for it, just so they know what's going on with you.
And it does sound like your actual OB is very understanding, so try to put your trust in her. Do you have access to a midwife or a doula who could also offer support? Can you find a midwife or doula if you don't have one? Or even a friend who has used one. They may recall some of the good things that they were told during their pregnancies.1 -
After so much discussion I realize this seems almost like a non sequitur, but have you considered a water birth. My ex-wife and I seriously considered it when we were getting ready to deliver our daughter. We ultimately went with a conventional delivery, but for reasons of other complications.
Just thought I'd throw that out to you...good luck to you.1 -
May I suggest seeking the advice of a professional such as a Psychiatrist? They are very good at what they do2
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janejellyroll wrote: »Hi -- I struggle with intrusive anxious thoughts about my husband getting angry with me or him asking me to leave. One thing that has helped me a lot is going through a series of questions my therapist suggested, they're designed for helping anxiety based on jumping to conclusions. You may be familiar with them already, but I'm typing them below in case you haven't seen them. Please feel free to ignore if you aren't looking for tips. They've just been useful for me. Wishing you well.
1. How do I know for certain that ___ will happen?
2. Am I 100% sure that these awful consequences will occur?
3. What evidence do I have for this fear or belief?
4. What has happened in this past with this situation?
5. Am I psychic? How can I be so sure about the answer?
6. Could there be any other explanation?
7. How much does it feel like ___ will happen? What is the true chance that ___ will happen?
8. Is my negative prediction being driven by the intense emotions that I am experiencing?
I was going to suggest something similar. I haven't seen a comprehensive list like this before, but I love it, and I'm going to save it for myself.
OP, the way you talk about your SOs sounds like depression speaking through you. (Specifically, this "I feel like if I don't get my act together and stop melting down all the time, I could be asked to leave, even though both have assured me that is not happening and won't ever happen" and this "Home is being supportive but I hate making them feel like they have to walk on eggshells around me."). The thing about depression is that it's different for everyone, but it tends to speak in very consistent language. I don't know you, but I've heard those same kinds of thoughts from a lot of friends. They were overwhelmingly not true.
If you can, talk to your SOs about what you're thinking. It's okay to tell them that you're feeling alone and vulnerable, and ask for more reassurance than you might need at other times. Let them know if you need to hear it verbally, or if you'd prefer physical reassurance like hugs.
Are you familiar with Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess? If not, Google her. She's amazing, and she speaks very openly about anxiety and depression. She says "Depression Lies," which is absolutely true and somehow helps me remember it.1 -
You need a doula! Google to see if there are any in your area. She'll be with you through the process and speak for you when you are cranky.4
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All the good stuff has been said already. Vent as much as you need.
I just will send you a. h.
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tcunbeliever wrote: »You didn't specify how far along in your pregnancy you are, but I'm going to assume 3rd trimester if you are having contractions...I have 3 children, it's been a long time since I was pregnant, but I do remember what it's like and I had 3 pretty easy pregnancies even though I pretty much wanted to die or kill someone most of the last month for each of them.
hospitals - good for you standing up for yourself, OB/GYN doctors can be very invasive and completely insensitive and far too often treat pregnancy like some kind of disease instead of the normal life process it really is...definitely don't agree to anything that makes you uncomfortable, and definitely insist on a female doctor if that will make you more comfortable...anything that stresses you out is going to stress out the baby...
work - you are in the USA, which means your job is protected for at least 12 weeks assuming you have worked there at least 1 year and have not maxed out your FMLA. It is very common for pregnant women to miss time during their pregnancy, this is not something you should worry about particularly if you are having pain and contractions...rest, hydrate, eat healthy, your body is doing a lot of work even when you are not doing anything.
home - it sounds like you have a supportive home life, of course they aren't going to abandon you when you are dealing with huge hormone issues and what sounds like a challenging pregnancy...everything you are feeling sounds pretty normal, melting down over nothing, being totally stressed out all the time, particularly since you are sleep deprived and in pain, these are normal reactions to the situation, even if they aren't fun to deal with, just know that this is totally normal and not out of the ordinary.
Things you can do - you need to get some rest and destress and try to remain calm, which I know is easier said than done. Try to do whatever will relax or comfort you.
have some chammomile or licorice tea
have a hot shower
watch a favorite show/movie
yoga or walking or breathing exercises
cuddling and/or talking with anyone who is supportive
eating favorite foods (I know it's generally bad advice to use food for comfort, but seriously you are already dealing with so much, humans are hard wired to take comfort in food, it's ok once in a while)
Very good advice here. Except chamomile tea is actually on the "unsafe" list - so maybe a different tea.
Other ideas could be to take bath. I find it relaxing to turn on the shower, plug the drain, cover my face (except nose) with cloth and lay there as the tub fills. Perhaps you could get a pregnancy massage (either professional or from a partner) and see if you can get those muscles to relax a little. However, definitely watch your hydration levels!
Agreed don't worry about your SOs. Try to be kind, but also realize they DO know that you're in a stage of life where its not easy to control your emotions and will accept you for that. You could even talk to them about your worries if you're feeling up for it, just so they know what's going on with you.
And it does sound like your actual OB is very understanding, so try to put your trust in her. Do you have access to a midwife or a doula who could also offer support? Can you find a midwife or doula if you don't have one? Or even a friend who has used one. They may recall some of the good things that they were told during their pregnancies.
Thank you for the suggestions. The OB I go to has a midwife.
You are the second person to suggest a doula. Excuse my ignorance, but what exactly is a doula?0 -
tcunbeliever wrote: »You didn't specify how far along in your pregnancy you are, but I'm going to assume 3rd trimester if you are having contractions...I have 3 children, it's been a long time since I was pregnant, but I do remember what it's like and I had 3 pretty easy pregnancies even though I pretty much wanted to die or kill someone most of the last month for each of them.
hospitals - good for you standing up for yourself, OB/GYN doctors can be very invasive and completely insensitive and far too often treat pregnancy like some kind of disease instead of the normal life process it really is...definitely don't agree to anything that makes you uncomfortable, and definitely insist on a female doctor if that will make you more comfortable...anything that stresses you out is going to stress out the baby...
work - you are in the USA, which means your job is protected for at least 12 weeks assuming you have worked there at least 1 year and have not maxed out your FMLA. It is very common for pregnant women to miss time during their pregnancy, this is not something you should worry about particularly if you are having pain and contractions...rest, hydrate, eat healthy, your body is doing a lot of work even when you are not doing anything.
home - it sounds like you have a supportive home life, of course they aren't going to abandon you when you are dealing with huge hormone issues and what sounds like a challenging pregnancy...everything you are feeling sounds pretty normal, melting down over nothing, being totally stressed out all the time, particularly since you are sleep deprived and in pain, these are normal reactions to the situation, even if they aren't fun to deal with, just know that this is totally normal and not out of the ordinary.
Things you can do - you need to get some rest and destress and try to remain calm, which I know is easier said than done. Try to do whatever will relax or comfort you.
have some chammomile or licorice tea
have a hot shower
watch a favorite show/movie
yoga or walking or breathing exercises
cuddling and/or talking with anyone who is supportive
eating favorite foods (I know it's generally bad advice to use food for comfort, but seriously you are already dealing with so much, humans are hard wired to take comfort in food, it's ok once in a while)
Very good advice here. Except chamomile tea is actually on the "unsafe" list - so maybe a different tea.
Other ideas could be to take bath. I find it relaxing to turn on the shower, plug the drain, cover my face (except nose) with cloth and lay there as the tub fills. Perhaps you could get a pregnancy massage (either professional or from a partner) and see if you can get those muscles to relax a little. However, definitely watch your hydration levels!
Agreed don't worry about your SOs. Try to be kind, but also realize they DO know that you're in a stage of life where its not easy to control your emotions and will accept you for that. You could even talk to them about your worries if you're feeling up for it, just so they know what's going on with you.
And it does sound like your actual OB is very understanding, so try to put your trust in her. Do you have access to a midwife or a doula who could also offer support? Can you find a midwife or doula if you don't have one? Or even a friend who has used one. They may recall some of the good things that they were told during their pregnancies.
Thank you for the suggestions. The OB I go to has a midwife.
You are the second person to suggest a doula. Excuse my ignorance, but what exactly is a doula?
"A doula is someone who provides non-clinical support and care to a person (and her partner if applicable) during childbirth and the postpartum period. People have complex needs during childbirth. In addition to the safety of modern obstetrical care, and the love and companionship provided by their partners, labouring people need consistent, continuous reassurance, comfort, encouragement and respect. They need individualized care based on their circumstances and preferences. To this end, a doula works with a labouring person and her family, physicians, midwives and nurses with an aim to enhance communication and understanding. With a Doula present, the pressure on the partner is also decreased, allowing participation at an optimum comfort level and increasing the enjoyment of the birth of the baby. Ideally, the Doula and the partner make the perfect support team, complementing each other’s strengths."
Edited to add source: http://www.ontariodoulas.org/1 -
vikinglander wrote: »After so much discussion I realize this seems almost like a non sequitur, but have you considered a water birth. My ex-wife and I seriously considered it when we were getting ready to deliver our daughter. We ultimately went with a conventional delivery, but for reasons of other complications.
Just thought I'd throw that out to you...good luck to you.
Not sure that would idea for me since I'm high risk.johnnylakis wrote: »May I suggest seeking the advice of a professional such as a Psychiatrist? They are very good at what they do
You may, but I already see one.
0 -
janejellyroll wrote: »Hi -- I struggle with intrusive anxious thoughts about my husband getting angry with me or him asking me to leave. One thing that has helped me a lot is going through a series of questions my therapist suggested, they're designed for helping anxiety based on jumping to conclusions. You may be familiar with them already, but I'm typing them below in case you haven't seen them. Please feel free to ignore if you aren't looking for tips. They've just been useful for me. Wishing you well.
1. How do I know for certain that ___ will happen?
2. Am I 100% sure that these awful consequences will occur?
3. What evidence do I have for this fear or belief?
4. What has happened in this past with this situation?
5. Am I psychic? How can I be so sure about the answer?
6. Could there be any other explanation?
7. How much does it feel like ___ will happen? What is the true chance that ___ will happen?
8. Is my negative prediction being driven by the intense emotions that I am experiencing?
I was going to suggest something similar. I haven't seen a comprehensive list like this before, but I love it, and I'm going to save it for myself.
OP, the way you talk about your SOs sounds like depression speaking through you. (Specifically, this "I feel like if I don't get my act together and stop melting down all the time, I could be asked to leave, even though both have assured me that is not happening and won't ever happen" and this "Home is being supportive but I hate making them feel like they have to walk on eggshells around me."). The thing about depression is that it's different for everyone, but it tends to speak in very consistent language. I don't know you, but I've heard those same kinds of thoughts from a lot of friends. They were overwhelmingly not true.
If you can, talk to your SOs about what you're thinking. It's okay to tell them that you're feeling alone and vulnerable, and ask for more reassurance than you might need at other times. Let them know if you need to hear it verbally, or if you'd prefer physical reassurance like hugs.
Are you familiar with Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess? If not, Google her. She's amazing, and she speaks very openly about anxiety and depression. She says "Depression Lies," which is absolutely true and somehow helps me remember it.
No, I'm not familiar with her but will look her up.
I can talk to my SOs and have been trying but it's hard for me to vocalize issues.middlehaitch wrote: »All the good stuff has been said already. Vent as much as you need.
I just will send you a. h.
Thank yousnickerscharlie wrote: »tcunbeliever wrote: »You didn't specify how far along in your pregnancy you are, but I'm going to assume 3rd trimester if you are having contractions...I have 3 children, it's been a long time since I was pregnant, but I do remember what it's like and I had 3 pretty easy pregnancies even though I pretty much wanted to die or kill someone most of the last month for each of them.
hospitals - good for you standing up for yourself, OB/GYN doctors can be very invasive and completely insensitive and far too often treat pregnancy like some kind of disease instead of the normal life process it really is...definitely don't agree to anything that makes you uncomfortable, and definitely insist on a female doctor if that will make you more comfortable...anything that stresses you out is going to stress out the baby...
work - you are in the USA, which means your job is protected for at least 12 weeks assuming you have worked there at least 1 year and have not maxed out your FMLA. It is very common for pregnant women to miss time during their pregnancy, this is not something you should worry about particularly if you are having pain and contractions...rest, hydrate, eat healthy, your body is doing a lot of work even when you are not doing anything.
home - it sounds like you have a supportive home life, of course they aren't going to abandon you when you are dealing with huge hormone issues and what sounds like a challenging pregnancy...everything you are feeling sounds pretty normal, melting down over nothing, being totally stressed out all the time, particularly since you are sleep deprived and in pain, these are normal reactions to the situation, even if they aren't fun to deal with, just know that this is totally normal and not out of the ordinary.
Things you can do - you need to get some rest and destress and try to remain calm, which I know is easier said than done. Try to do whatever will relax or comfort you.
have some chammomile or licorice tea
have a hot shower
watch a favorite show/movie
yoga or walking or breathing exercises
cuddling and/or talking with anyone who is supportive
eating favorite foods (I know it's generally bad advice to use food for comfort, but seriously you are already dealing with so much, humans are hard wired to take comfort in food, it's ok once in a while)
Very good advice here. Except chamomile tea is actually on the "unsafe" list - so maybe a different tea.
Other ideas could be to take bath. I find it relaxing to turn on the shower, plug the drain, cover my face (except nose) with cloth and lay there as the tub fills. Perhaps you could get a pregnancy massage (either professional or from a partner) and see if you can get those muscles to relax a little. However, definitely watch your hydration levels!
Agreed don't worry about your SOs. Try to be kind, but also realize they DO know that you're in a stage of life where its not easy to control your emotions and will accept you for that. You could even talk to them about your worries if you're feeling up for it, just so they know what's going on with you.
And it does sound like your actual OB is very understanding, so try to put your trust in her. Do you have access to a midwife or a doula who could also offer support? Can you find a midwife or doula if you don't have one? Or even a friend who has used one. They may recall some of the good things that they were told during their pregnancies.
Thank you for the suggestions. The OB I go to has a midwife.
You are the second person to suggest a doula. Excuse my ignorance, but what exactly is a doula?
"A doula is someone who provides non-clinical support and care to a person (and her partner if applicable) during childbirth and the postpartum period. People have complex needs during childbirth. In addition to the safety of modern obstetrical care, and the love and companionship provided by their partners, labouring people need consistent, continuous reassurance, comfort, encouragement and respect. They need individualized care based on their circumstances and preferences. To this end, a doula works with a labouring person and her family, physicians, midwives and nurses with an aim to enhance communication and understanding. With a Doula present, the pressure on the partner is also decreased, allowing participation at an optimum comfort level and increasing the enjoyment of the birth of the baby. Ideally, the Doula and the partner make the perfect support team, complementing each other’s strengths."
Edited to add source: http://www.ontariodoulas.org/
Oh okay. Will certainly try to find one.
0 -
janejellyroll wrote: »Hi -- I struggle with intrusive anxious thoughts about my husband getting angry with me or him asking me to leave. One thing that has helped me a lot is going through a series of questions my therapist suggested, they're designed for helping anxiety based on jumping to conclusions. You may be familiar with them already, but I'm typing them below in case you haven't seen them. Please feel free to ignore if you aren't looking for tips. They've just been useful for me. Wishing you well.
1. How do I know for certain that ___ will happen?
2. Am I 100% sure that these awful consequences will occur?
3. What evidence do I have for this fear or belief?
4. What has happened in this past with this situation?
5. Am I psychic? How can I be so sure about the answer?
6. Could there be any other explanation?
7. How much does it feel like ___ will happen? What is the true chance that ___ will happen?
8. Is my negative prediction being driven by the intense emotions that I am experiencing?
I was going to suggest something similar. I haven't seen a comprehensive list like this before, but I love it, and I'm going to save it for myself.
OP, the way you talk about your SOs sounds like depression speaking through you. (Specifically, this "I feel like if I don't get my act together and stop melting down all the time, I could be asked to leave, even though both have assured me that is not happening and won't ever happen" and this "Home is being supportive but I hate making them feel like they have to walk on eggshells around me."). The thing about depression is that it's different for everyone, but it tends to speak in very consistent language. I don't know you, but I've heard those same kinds of thoughts from a lot of friends. They were overwhelmingly not true.
If you can, talk to your SOs about what you're thinking. It's okay to tell them that you're feeling alone and vulnerable, and ask for more reassurance than you might need at other times. Let them know if you need to hear it verbally, or if you'd prefer physical reassurance like hugs.
Are you familiar with Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess? If not, Google her. She's amazing, and she speaks very openly about anxiety and depression. She says "Depression Lies," which is absolutely true and somehow helps me remember it.
No, I'm not familiar with her but will look her up.
I can talk to my SOs and have been trying but it's hard for me to vocalize issues.
This might be easier than talking (or it might be harder), but you could consider showing them this thread. They care enough about you to want to be in a relationship with you, so there's a good chance they'll understand, or at least they'll try to understand.
0
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