People who post their fitness stuff on FB, etc, have mental issues
Replies
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Facebook is still growing? i'm sure i heard it was all bots or people were leaving. I owned an account for all of a month before it was creepy.
I have a twitter for news & sport. I dont feel the need to document everything else, especially stuff i dont want people knowing i do!
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We are way too quick to assign mental health diagnosis to pop-culture crap. #fitspo is a popular hashtag on all social media. People aren't being "classic narcissists". They're finding positive reinforcement for being healthy and sharing their interests with other people that have the same interests. Facebook is just another social media outlet for folks to share what they do. This whole "screw the internet and social media" and "screw people who don't use it exactly like me" is more narcissistic or whatever than folks just doing their own thing. I definitely find a lot of things on facebook annoying (people that post pictures of their kids using the toilet, for instance); however, I just click the button that makes me not see that anymore and tailor my social media to avoid certain things that I find unbecoming (did I mention the picture of poop a mom posted on FB because her kid pooped in the toilet?
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I'm not coming for anyone here. There has been an uptick of posts/articles/op-eds regarding how "people who post about food are stupid" or "no one wants to know you worked out"... actually, I do. I follow those hashtags because I LOVE seeing these posts. I love seeing friends who work out. Personally, I don't post any of that AT ALL, but hey, you went to the gym and are super swole? Cool! Same way I feel about my friend that posts about bar trivia and how well they did. Not my thing, but you're pleased and having a good time... cool!
Just my opinion, of course!
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^that's actually a fair point, well made.0
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »My top 5 FB pet peeves:
5. Fitness freaks. I don't give a duck-billed platypus *kitten* if you do a 5K or squat 300 lbs and you stopped in the middle of your workout to post a zoolander selfie. You look creepy in your workout outfit.
4. Lefties or righties. Get off your *kitten* and work hard to take care of yourself. Your fave politician is not gonna save you or pay your mortgage. So spare me the propaganda.
3. Religious nuts. I am a very religious catholic but the Bible thumping is something I cannot stand.
2. Moms. Some of your kids are ugly and I don't find them cute. Adoption mommies are worse. Just sign off and do real mommy duties, this isn't a reality show.
1. Sappy boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands and wives. You just suck. Congratulations, you just exposed your insecurities.
Heh, sounds like my list..only thing missing is the drama queens.
I also find that the people who constantly post "inspiring" quotes are usually the least inspiring people I know.
So this is all why I avoid too much FB.
Well, except for the Joe Biden memes. I was in for those for awhile. This new trend of "Tag 'insert person''s name here", and has some awful picture attached to it, is just disturbing.0 -
I kind of like it as an accountability tool. Like, if announce to all of facebook I'm going to lose weight, then they all heard me say that so I better follow through! When I started running I posted about it a fair amount because it was consuming a considerable amount of my time and I mean... it's MY social media page. I'm posting about what I'm up to and at the time it was running. Now I post one or two videos of photos from my aerial classes each week. Am I showing off? Maybe a little. But I've also been working really hard and I enjoy documenting my progress. Aerial is my hobby right now, why should I not post about it?2
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Can bragging about other things count? If so...I know someone who does that all the time and it gets so old. I just want to ask them if they'd like a pat on the back.......with a sledgehammer.1
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I did it at first but mostly about my weight loss.. See when u are older losing weight is hard. I don't any more but my weight has been a huge struggle and I needed my friends help. I don't think that's narcissistic.. In fact one friends transformation inspired me. Why is being good to our bodies bad yet posting u got wasted ok.. Ps isn't fb for us oldies now.. Now reading the comments.. Did I miss the point entirely..1
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Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
Whether you like it or not, fitness is a divisive topic. You probably don't know this but many have already hidden you.fastingrabbit wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »I look at it this way. If you overpost on one subject, you are so insecure because other areas of your life aren't as colourful and you know it.
FB posts should cover a wide range of topics about you and everyone else. That is the first sign of good mental and emotional health.
There are fitness guys and girls on my wall. I hid them long time ago. I am a gym addict too but it takes emotional maturity to understand and get that nobody give a *kitten* at the end of the day and you are annoying a bunch of folks
This is too much of a leap. Overposting on one subject = insecurity? Some people like to write about one particular topic (let's say a favorite type of entertainment or food or hobby) and others like to write about several things. That does not mean that they lack mental or emotional health. That's illogical.
(And I have never seen someone write that their own writing is hilarious.)
I don't follow your meaning.0 -
I'd like people to just not post 5+ of whatever they are into every single day.
Politics, coffee, religion, exercise, kids, cats... just reign it in people. Are you mentally ill for telling everyone how much you love coffee and cats multiple times a day? Probably.
At least fitness posts you have actually done something but still keep it to once a day.0 -
Honestly, I don't see how it's any different than what people do everyday even if they didn't have FB. When I sold door to door for 12 years, the first and foremost thing to do was to create a rapport with the buyer. You let them tell you about them. And this could go on for a long long time sometimes.
People like to be acknowledged. Some need it more than others. Narcissists basically won't bother to answer back to others posts on FB unless they are congratulating them.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I don't get the Facebook thing or anyone who puts themselves on that site. Everyone complains about it but everyone's on it, checking in every day.
It's like saying I Hate Starbucks Coffee. It's So Bitter Tasting And Expensive And The Lines There Are So Long. Good Thing I Took That Second Job So I Can Afford To Go There Every Day For Coffee.
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Honestly, I don't see how it's any different than what people do everyday even if they didn't have FB. When I sold door to door for 12 years, the first and foremost thing to do was to create a rapport with the buyer. You let them tell you about them. And this could go on for a long long time sometimes.
People like to be acknowledged. Some need it more than others. Narcissists basically won't bother to answer back to others posts on FB unless they are congratulating them.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
You are biased toward listening to drivel because of your profession.
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I post once in a blue moon on Facebook. I haven't even posted a new profile photo in almost 2 years. I rarely take "selfies".
I don't think everyone who posts frequently is narcissistic though. I know people who live very far away from their family and friends and use Facebook as a means of sharing easily with those people. Maybe if someone is trying to meet a goal they post when they need support or want to give an update. The narcissists are easy to spot though and they do make up the greater Facebook majority, but not just Facebook. Other social networking sites also. They comment in regards to themselves on friends posts, they always post bashing others while in the same post elevating them self, they will talk about a hair cut all week then post massive haircut photos saying how awful it is and naturally everyone comes in to lift up their ego telling them how beautiful or handsome it is etc.... There is nothing "wrong" with wanting to feel liked or attractive. But some folks really do struggle with needing that a lot more than others.
I have a lot of sympathy for these folks. I don't hold a very high opinion about my self so I know how feeling bad goes. If someone feels so badly about their self that they must maintain this kind of intensity they obviously are struggling inside. They need to seek approval and to feel liked maybe because they don't like themselves very much, or maybe they are in a relationship where their needs aren't being met. The good feelings of the like count and comments do wear off so they need to go back for more with another selfie, or status update etc....
I think we are hungry for meaningful human interaction and yet no one seems to want to rebuild that in their own life. We used to be able to just call people, stop by for a visit, or get together for coffee or a morning or afternoon walk with a friend. These days we can't do that like we used to. At least not with most people. These relationships helped us all feel worthwhile, liked and even loved. We had a sense of being important in someone's life. We felt needed. Slowly all that has crumbled away with the social media take over. A place in which we are all competing for likes, comments and reactions. If no one likes, comments or reacts we feel ignored and neglected and sad. And a lot of people just don't want to socialize or interact outside of social media. We are left with an empty feeling society.2 -
I never understand the Facebook hate. I just unfollow those who annoy me like my cousins. I use it to promote my skating team and keep in touch with friends across the country and around the world. They like to see pictures of the adventures we have and I like to see pictures of their adventures. Maybe I have weird Facebook friends but we actually have lots of fun posting silly pics and will get ridiculous convos happening. I think my friends are just really sarcastic and silly and since we don't get to see each other in real life a lot we socialize there
Oh I also keep track of my neighbours there too.5 -
Ahahaha! I've heard so many personal stories from clients that they tell me they've never mentioned or told to anyone else. Even have been asked on advice on divorce, relationships and whether they should cheat or not. My answer is usually the same............"what do you really think?"thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »Honestly, I don't see how it's any different than what people do everyday even if they didn't have FB. When I sold door to door for 12 years, the first and foremost thing to do was to create a rapport with the buyer. You let them tell you about them. And this could go on for a long long time sometimes.
People like to be acknowledged. Some need it more than others. Narcissists basically won't bother to answer back to others posts on FB unless they are congratulating them.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
You are biased toward listening to drivel because of your profession.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »I post once in a blue moon on Facebook. I haven't even posted a new profile photo in almost 2 years. I rarely take "selfies".
I don't think everyone who posts frequently is narcissistic though. I know people who live very far away from their family and friends and use Facebook as a means of sharing easily with those people. Maybe if someone is trying to meet a goal they post when they need support or want to give an update. The narcissists are easy to spot though and they do make up the greater Facebook majority, but not just Facebook. Other social networking sites also. They comment in regards to themselves on friends posts, they always post bashing others while in the same post elevating them self, they will talk about a hair cut all week then post massive haircut photos saying how awful it is and naturally everyone comes in to lift up their ego telling them how beautiful or handsome it is etc.... There is nothing "wrong" with wanting to feel liked or attractive. But some folks really do struggle with needing that a lot more than others.
I have a lot of sympathy for these folks. I don't hold a very high opinion about my self so I know how feeling bad goes. If someone feels so badly about their self that they must maintain this kind of intensity they obviously are struggling inside. They need to seek approval and to feel liked maybe because they don't like themselves very much, or maybe they are in a relationship where their needs aren't being met. The good feelings of the like count and comments do wear off so they need to go back for more with another selfie, or status update etc....
I think we are hungry for meaningful human interaction and yet no one seems to want to rebuild that in their own life. We used to be able to just call people, stop by for a visit, or get together for coffee or a morning or afternoon walk with a friend. These days we can't do that like we used to. At least not with most people. These relationships helped us all feel worthwhile, liked and even loved. We had a sense of being important in someone's life. We felt needed. Slowly all that has crumbled away with the social media take over. A place in which we are all competing for likes, comments and reactions. If no one likes, comments or reacts we feel ignored and neglected and sad. And a lot of people just don't want to socialize or interact outside of social media. We are left with an empty feeling society.
I only have one narcissistic facebook friend. They are like that outside of facebook though with everything. I have known her for over 17 years and this all predates facebook and social media. It is different from others just posting a lot on Facebook. Anything you say to that person online or IRL they turn around and make it about them. Anything.
I suppose it is sad they feel compelled to do that but it is hard to feel sorry for them.0 -
ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken wrote: »I post once in a blue moon on Facebook. I haven't even posted a new profile photo in almost 2 years. I rarely take "selfies".
I don't think everyone who posts frequently is narcissistic though. I know people who live very far away from their family and friends and use Facebook as a means of sharing easily with those people. Maybe if someone is trying to meet a goal they post when they need support or want to give an update. The narcissists are easy to spot though and they do make up the greater Facebook majority, but not just Facebook. Other social networking sites also. They comment in regards to themselves on friends posts, they always post bashing others while in the same post elevating them self, they will talk about a hair cut all week then post massive haircut photos saying how awful it is and naturally everyone comes in to lift up their ego telling them how beautiful or handsome it is etc.... There is nothing "wrong" with wanting to feel liked or attractive. But some folks really do struggle with needing that a lot more than others.
I have a lot of sympathy for these folks. I don't hold a very high opinion about my self so I know how feeling bad goes. If someone feels so badly about their self that they must maintain this kind of intensity they obviously are struggling inside. They need to seek approval and to feel liked maybe because they don't like themselves very much, or maybe they are in a relationship where their needs aren't being met. The good feelings of the like count and comments do wear off so they need to go back for more with another selfie, or status update etc....
I think we are hungry for meaningful human interaction and yet no one seems to want to rebuild that in their own life. We used to be able to just call people, stop by for a visit, or get together for coffee or a morning or afternoon walk with a friend. These days we can't do that like we used to. At least not with most people. These relationships helped us all feel worthwhile, liked and even loved. We had a sense of being important in someone's life. We felt needed. Slowly all that has crumbled away with the social media take over. A place in which we are all competing for likes, comments and reactions. If no one likes, comments or reacts we feel ignored and neglected and sad. And a lot of people just don't want to socialize or interact outside of social media. We are left with an empty feeling society.
I only have one narcissistic facebook friend. They are like that outside of facebook though with everything. I have known her for over 17 years and this all predates facebook and social media. It is different from others just posting a lot on Facebook. Anything you say to that person online or IRL they turn around and make it about them. Anything.
I suppose it is sad they feel compelled to do that but it is hard to feel sorry for them.
Oh yeah. I know a few of those too. They were always that way and social media only gave them room to flourish in their self absorbed ways. Then there's those who never were that way, or at least never seemed to be that way who definitely turned out to be that way. No matter, I don't like to know that anyone struggles with feeling worth while. And I do believe there are two different types, the ones who truly feel superior and they show it, and the ones who feel inferior and there fore seek attention, no matter what kind of attention it is.0 -
I post what I want and don't care if people like it or not. I have like...29 friends on fb and I could honestly delete all but 3 of them. I hid or deleted the ones that were annoying. I rarely post anymore but I use it as a place to store my pictures bc it's free and I'm broke. BUT what would you ever post about if you weren't bragging or complaining? Fb is what those people are like in real life anyway. I hear just as much complaining about other people, bragging about their family and love life, fitness, and upcoming major events in every day conversation as well. Nothing new. If you hate the every day of average people then maybe social media isn't for you. You'd have to, at some level, want attention to post about anything at all.2
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Some narcissists I don't believe, even know; that they're but the worst 1's're the 1's, that do know because they try to be coy concerning it, by trying not; to be stereotypical! However because being coy's just another way to lie, they like everyone else; whom lies slip & eventually accidentally, reveal their true selves!0
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I never understand the Facebook hate. I just unfollow those who annoy me like my cousins. I use it to promote my skating team and keep in touch with friends across the country and around the world. They like to see pictures of the adventures we have and I like to see pictures of their adventures. Maybe I have weird Facebook friends but we actually have lots of fun posting silly pics and will get ridiculous convos happening. I think my friends are just really sarcastic and silly and since we don't get to see each other in real life a lot we socialize there
Oh I also keep track of my neighbours there too.
Yeah, for me it's a good way to stay connected to friends and family who are scattered around the world. I unfollow or unfriend annoying or offensive people, and people I annoy or offend unfollow or unfriend me. I roll my eyes at a friend who posts about every "A" grade she earns in her first class in grad school, but I understand why she's proud, and I'm happy for her. I scroll quickly past obnoxious posts and piss a lot of people off by posting about politics. Oh well. I also use it to share information about events, etc. that may be of interest to people who live near me and to show support for movements, organizations, and businesses I want to succeed. Sometimes I hate it and quit for weeks or months, but I come back eventually. I think we have a fairly healthy relationship.1 -
Ahahaha! I've heard so many personal stories from clients that they tell me they've never mentioned or told to anyone else. Even have been asked on advice on divorce, relationships and whether they should cheat or not. My answer is usually the same............"what do you really think?"thisonetimeatthegym wrote: »Honestly, I don't see how it's any different than what people do everyday even if they didn't have FB. When I sold door to door for 12 years, the first and foremost thing to do was to create a rapport with the buyer. You let them tell you about them. And this could go on for a long long time sometimes.
People like to be acknowledged. Some need it more than others. Narcissists basically won't bother to answer back to others posts on FB unless they are congratulating them.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
You are biased toward listening to drivel because of your profession.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
Lol!
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chocolate_owl wrote: »Cutaway_Collar wrote: »
That's terrific. It only proves the theory then. I also like how kessler said they are scripting their life. Completely agreed. They only say positive things. But I actually have to say some couples also fight publicly which provides good entertainment.AskTracyAnnK28 wrote: »mskessler89 wrote: »I stopped using Facebook when I graduated college because it had evolved from being a way for me to stay in touch with my friends to a platform where people try to sculpt their lives to look as perfect as possible. [/b]Because everyone's friends' lists had started including coworkers, last week's hookup, and that person they met at Coachella 3 years ago and never talked to again, no one was "real" anymore.
Still, I don't think it's always narcissistic to enjoy being praised, and social media makes it really easy to get compliments. And I gotta admit, I started posting on MFP a lot more when the Like/Awesome buttons appeared. Internet validation can really make you feel better some days.
OMG this, too!! I started using Facebook when I moved back to my hometown in hopes of re-connecting with old friends, etc. Now I find it tedious because people are trying to convince themselves and the world that their lives are just so perfect
@Cutaway_Collar - I know a man who's Facebook was loaded with pics of "date night with the wife" and all the while he's was having a long-term affair with someone.
The real drawback of all this is it creates peer pressure. My wife has asked me a few times why my engagement was so low key compared to that coworker's. I showed up at her apartment with a ring at around 9:30pm. No cameras flashed, no videos, no fanfare. That guy... He assembled friends and family in a restaurant and before 50 people and other strangers... He pops the question and video went up on FB within an hour. My wife watched it a few times and got jealous.
My wife didn't make a big deal but she has fretted in the past that I didn't do enough. I snapped her out of the thought. But the very fact that such guys cause issues for others is unfortunate. Some mothers make other mothers feel lacking. Rich guys make poor guys feel like *kitten* when they post bills on the date night. Yes, some guys do that. It's the state of the world and the only comfort we can feel is that the braggers actually feel "hollow" inside and they know it and they also know and fear others may know it too.
UGH Facebook engagements. T and I got engaged while we were laying on the couch talking about the future. He asked me to marry him, I said yes. There was no ring, no hidden photographer, no group of people waiting to celebrate with us. Logically, I realize this was perfect - two adults making a decision about wanting to share their lives together without any emotional pressure from other people. But when people started asking me how he asked and I couldn't give them some big story or direct them to Facebook for the photos, it felt crappy. I know some brides-to-be on my wedding forum felt like they were disappointments or failures for not being able to afford a big, elaborate wedding. I think Facebook has made all the engagement/wedding competition and expectations waaaaaay worse.
Eurgh indeed. My now-husband and I had discussed getting married and we'd agreed that we'd do it in the next year or two. But he felt A ‘proper’ proposal was appropriate. So he proposed in a very significant place to us, (albeit public). My first response was ‘get up you daft bugger’ then followed by ‘yes I will marry you’. Then we had a lovely dinner by ourselves, and called our immediate relatives and a few close friends. It did go on Facebook later but with a very quiet ‘well this happened’.
Some other friends I wonder about, they got engaged shortly after us, and we’ve been married for a couple of years now, and she’s still posting frequent updates of ‘only 792 days before I’m Mrs….’ To her 400+ friends, where it turns into a discussion about the wedding, and I know full well she’s not going to invite them all. Meanwhile another friend is getting married soon and it’s all DIY, and even though she’s got very talented friends pitching in and she has small laments about if only she had more money. Because competition is everywhere.
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FB is probably the only site that I don't post fitness related things. Nobody really cares, anyways. Rather be here, instagram or something like that1
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Worst for me is humblebragging. I've just unfollowed some guy who just learned to cook and posts stuff like:
Aww I wonder how I will *kitten* up the Sesame Ginger Vermicelli Salad with homemade noodles this time I hope it doesn't go wrong like the vegan gluten-free chia-quinoa-quiche with 12 sorts of vegetables I made yesterday. I mean, actually it was quite good, but maybe there was a BIT much onion in there.
Urgh. Yeah, we get how amazing you are to try those oh so sophisticated recipes as a beginner and provide us with pictures of how messy the kitchen was and how great you did anyway, but actually nobody cares, and it's not cute either. *unfollow*
Luckily I don't have many people who post overly serious and/or personal achievement stuff to brag. It almost always has a disgusting touch to it. I actually love reading/hearing about people's achievements but the facebook bragging tone makes it disgusting.
I had some people showing up in my feed because my friends liked stuff from them, their posts were about their work. "Oh it's soo stressful at my dream job right now and my work is a bit flawed but here, all have a look at it, and by the way, carpe diem!" No thanks! *block*
There are so many people complaining about sexist/religious/political posts on their feeds they hate to see, but I don't get why anyone would have to deal with it. Just unfollow/block the *kitten* out of this until you only have things on your dash you actually like. Done.
Edit: When I spent 3 weeks with my ex (our first meeting) his and my friends were asking us why we didn't upload 2842838 FB photos of us, enjoying our time.
Ehm, because we were actually busy ENJOYING all this stuff and didn't give a crap if anybody else sees proof of it?0 -
DetroitDarin wrote: »"Narcissists more frequently updated about their achievements, which was motivated by their need for attention and validation from the Facebook community"
All my food, beer, family, tennis, and home improvements is posted for validation? Man...don't I feel ashamed.
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PS - people who write long posts in reply to this post are only do so to defend their narcissistic behavior. Thou dost protest too much!1
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I've lost 150 pounds and have never posted about it on Facebook once...
Meh
I don't need attention or praise for it2 -
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PlaydohPants wrote: »salembambi wrote: »I've lost 150 pounds and have never posted about it on Facebook once...
Meh
I don't need attention or praise for it
That's actually a post I'd like to see. Much better than the "I lost three pounds drinking a shake for three days look at my before and after sucking-it-in picture"
Yeah I guess that's true I just feel kinda not interested in sharing really personal stuff like that on Facebook for me it's a personal thing and I don't care if anyone knows about it at all
The people who matter already know
I guess if want attention on Facebook I'll just post a selfie lol
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