A Hurtful Comment.
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marvelboy11 wrote: »That's so horrible to read and I really do empathise. Before I leave my main comment I'd offer out the small crumb of comfort that perhaps (just perhaps), it wasnt about you, it could have been part of the joke that they were sharing. It sounds doubtful from what you said but sometimes if we are feeling low it can feel like everyone is against us? However if it was about you, lets go sort them out
OK to on to what I wanted to say (as a stranger lol), I read a lot of people, even celebrities saying they do things to prove haters wrong and things like that. Please dont get caught up in that kinda thing (personal view I guess). The fact they pushed you to work harder, focus on that and be PROUD of just how awesome a workout YOU had, not them. Dont let them or anyone else be a driver in your life and just keep working hard towards whatever goals you have and use the love of those around you to help.
OK, I'll stop typing now and jsut send a friend request over haha.
Haha! This made me laugh. Thanks marvelboy11, this was nice to see. and you're right--it didn't motivate me because of what they said, more or less me being able to look back on it and be like, "what gut?"
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Don't let the haters get you down! You are there doing something for yourself--that's all that matters. What they said says everything about them and nothing about you. Like I tell my kids, when a cow says "Moo," it has nothing to do with you. The fact that you turned it into a killer workout, on the other hand, says a whole lot about you ... and your heart. You got this!
Why thank you, sir! You're very right. I made it into something for me, and that's all that matters. Much appreciated! 0 -
Trying to be big picture about it, but just think, those 2 guys made an *kitten* of themselves, all in agreement? Think about how many strangers have then countered that above. Focus on that and the hurtful comment although cruel, had maybe a silver lining of some new friends and support for you? x1
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TheSunAndTheRainfall wrote: »If their comment was directed at you, just put it in perspective. You spend your time in a gym, making yourself fitter and healthier and generally trying to improve yourself. They spend their time in the mall, making insulting comments about complete strangers. I think it's obvious which is the more empty and tragic existence.
This puts things into perspective, and you're absolutely right. Two grown men (who weren't even all that fix themselves) insulting me from afar.2 -
You know it 0
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It is something that we all struggle with. Someone always has something negative to say. It could be about your weight or your clothes or your job or your hair or your car. Jerks will always find a way to make other people feel bad. People like that have deeper issues. They may have a great body so they choose to point out the flaws in someone else's, but you know what? Their life isn't perfect. I have chosen to realize this. We ALL have issues of some sort to overcome. You are a better person by not pointing out someone else's not everyone is as strong as you. Keep doing your thing and working hard for YOU not because some punks have big mouths.
Thank you thank you thank you! I do forget that people have problems as well, and things that they dislike about themselves. I feel like I am a target for hurt, to be honest. Like people can sense that I am weak, and take advantage of it.0 -
It sucks that this happened to you but remember, there are people out there like these guys that are simply *kitten*. You'll probably never see them again, so why let them ruin your day(s)? Overweight people have been targets of jokes and ridicule forever. Try not to let the comment impede your progress. Stay positive!! Negative thoughts have no place and should have no power over you. Dwelling on the harsh comment allows these two boys to have that power. They aren't worth it.
YOU, on the other hand, are beautiful and are doing amazing things. Kudos for going to the gym. Do you know how many overweight people won't go because they are afraid of being embarrassed? At my former gym, I once had a couple of the "gym rat bodybuilders" make a comment to me because I had to go into their area to use one of the machines. It hurt, but in my mind I flipped them the middle finger and moved on. Do the same if it ever happens to you again, which I sincerely hope does not.1 -
I'm not glad that it happened, but I'm glad that it happened just before your gym session and that you were able to use it to get a good sweat on.
I had a wedding to attend some years ago, and it took me a while to find a dress that hid the pounds I'd recently put on (all in the abdominal area), but I eventually found something that I felt great in. So off I went to this wedding, feeling good, only to have an old friend congratulate me on my pregnancy. After a comment like that it's difficult to get on the dance floor and put your hands in the air like you just don't care.
I'd happily trade you experiences.1 -
Wow. How cruel people can be! I'm glad others here have comforted you already, but I too just want to send some support. These kinds of people are not worth even a half centimeter of your brain space. Keep being awesome by working towards your goals! *virtual hugs*
Aww thanks! *virtual hugs*
thanks for still coming and comforting me! 1 -
I am sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately, there are a lot of "Bros" at the gym who don't have common sense or courtesy. Honestly, if that was me, I probably would have walked out of the gym and never went back. So good on you for sticking it out and working your *kitten* off. I have a lot of family members who are very negative about my appearance, so I can understand how much it hurts when you are trying to make an effort and people make fun of you. The Important thing to remember is to keep your chin up and be proud that you are taking the step of changing your life.2
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It sucks that this happened to you but remember, there are people out there like these guys that are simply *kitten*. You'll probably never see them again, so why let them ruin your day(s)? Overweight people have been targets of jokes and ridicule forever. Try not to let the comment impede your progress. Stay positive!! Negative thoughts have no place and should have no power over you. Dwelling on the harsh comment allows these two boys to have that power. They aren't worth it.
YOU, on the other hand, are beautiful and are doing amazing things. Kudos for going to the gym. Do you know how many overweight people won't go because they are afraid of being embarrassed? At my former gym, I once had a couple of the "gym rat bodybuilders" make a comment to me because I had to go into their area to use one of the machines. It hurt, but in my mind I flipped them the middle finger and moved on. Do the same if it ever happens to you again, which I sincerely hope does not.
I DREAD going to that side of the gym... Planet Fitness has a "no lunks" policy, but I still feel very intimidated. The guys over there probably aren't out to get me, but I just feel like it, you know? I'm sorry that happened to you, but I am glad you moved on.
and I hope it doesn't happen again either.. 0 -
goldthistime wrote: »I'm not glad that it happened, but I'm glad that it happened just before your gym session and that you were able to use it to get a good sweat on.
I had a wedding to attend some years ago, and it took me a while to find a dress that hid the pounds I'd recently put on (all in the abdominal area), but I eventually found something that I felt great in. So off I went to this wedding, feeling good, only to have an old friend congratulate me on my pregnancy. After a comment like that it's difficult to get on the dance floor and put your hands in the air like you just don't care.
I'd happily trade you experiences.
Aw no...!
( I am so sorry, that is very hurtful to assume that someone's pregnant because of their tummy. 
Does it still bother you? 0 -
how do you know they were talking about you? he may well have been talking about his wife...1
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Liftheavylovehard wrote: »I am sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately, there are a lot of "Bros" at the gym who don't have common sense or courtesy. Honestly, if that was me, I probably would have walked out of the gym and never went back. So good on you for sticking it out and working your *kitten* off. I have a lot of family members who are very negative about my appearance, so I can understand how much it hurts when you are trying to make an effort and people make fun of you. The Important thing to remember is to keep your chin up and be proud that you are taking the step of changing your life.
Thank you, ma'am. I am sorry that some of your family doesn't like your appearance.. I know how it feels, and it hurts. </3 0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »how do you know they were talking about you? he may well have been talking about his wife...
LOL, yeah. He probably was, or himself for that matter. He wasn't too fit, either.0 -
As a computer science professor who has been online since before there was really even an internet, I thought I had seen it all, but this thread has made my day. One hurtful offhand remark from a random jerk has turned into dozens of sweet, kind, inspirational remarks from other strangers. What an amazing community.7
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I hate hearing stuff like that...people can be so hurtful, I hate bullies. Don't let these a**holes get you down , keep smiling! love those beautiful eyes!0
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It has happened to me more than once in my life when I was asked when the baby is due... Now that I'm older it doesn't happen becuase it would have to be a miracle
Keep your head up! It will be in the back of your mind but it can turn into a positive as motivation. Soon they will be saying 'HUBBA HUBBA' and you can give them the look of death and tell them to go "kitten" themselves 0 -
So sorry that happened. Its happened to both myself and my daughter. She suffers from depression so instead of motivating her she ends up comforting herself with more food. It doesn't help that she is in her late 20's and has never gone to prom or even had a boyfriend because of the weight. Anyway we are both trying to do this now too. I'm doing it for me.1
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I actually had this happen to me in the gym. I was doing my normal routine with my husband and we had made it over to the weights. My husband went to get a thing of wipes to wipe down the equipment and a man leaned over and said "I have been doing this for about 6 months and on the other side of the gym (which houses the treadmills and such) I lost 30 pounds. You should probably go over there and lose something before you try to start lifting of any kind." I was mortified but smiled, congratulated him on his loss and then continued on with my husband. As soon as we hit the car I lost it and cried the whole way home. I never went to the gym without my husband again. It hurt my stride too cause I thought everyone there thought the same thing. Months later I know that's not true but not before I quit the gym. At least you worked through it and you did an amazing workout. You are stronger than you think.0
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