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Fat Acceptance Movement
Replies
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JohnnyPenso wrote: »
You might GAF about fatness when you lose that 70 lbs and have some skin hanging off your belly that flaps in a strong windtmoneyag99 wrote: »I haven't read the whole thread and I want to say this. At the base of it all is the thought that a fat person doesn't deserve love or respect because they are fat.
I used to be in the same category as many of you that it was silly. And then... I got fat. (rough pregnancy and some stressful times)
They way people treat me now is horrible. Many of the people now in my department didn't know me from my "skinny" days. So I'm not allowed to join in conversations about nutrition or exercise. Nevermind that I have run a half-marathon and used to run 4miles daily. Instead I get recommendations on how to lose the weight and how to exercise. When I want to say "Erm yeah, when I'm done I'll be able to kick your butt at the gym" but this experience has made me FAR more empathetic. I'm actually very thankful for it.
And @Christine_72 My weight is not the center of my focus. I have a family and a son that is 2.5 and he is the center of my world. I am VERY happy with my life. While I am trying to lose weight for the sake of my health my weight has no bearing on my happiness. Infact, I can tell you that while life is full of peaks and vallies I am currently experiencing a peak. I am 70lbs overweight but I am very happy with my life.
I don't GAF about the fatness. It's just something that for the sake of health needs to change. Kind of like taking antibiotics. I don't get forlorn because I have a sinus infection. I go to the doctor, get on the meds and get rid of the damn thing. The same thing about fat. I'm not depressed or ashamed when I look in the mirror. I have never been a binge eater. The weight came on due to some crazy life events. WHICH is often the story of many obese people. BUT obesity isn't as easy to fix as a sinus infection. THAT is what gets some people forlorn. When they bust their butts and the scale barely budges.
The Fat acceptance movement isn't about thinking obesity is okay. It's about recognizing that a fat person is more than just that extra weight they have. The person you are looking at might have a good sense of humor. They actually might have more self confidence, better self image, better self worth than you.
I mean imagine for one minute a fat person being PROUD that they are a good parent, a great engineer, have discovered an important protein that might help fight cancer, or even has saved a child from a life of physical and sexual abuse. Imagine it because those people exist. I know them personally. For these people, the things they do WITH their life is far more important to them than what they look like to others. These people deserve to be loved and respected. They may be shortening their lives with their diet (which really is heart breaking) but the impact they have on the world is far more than some "healthy" people do. So accept that they are fat, and thank them for their contributions to society.
I've been pretty lucky that it hasn't affected me much and I'm down 75 lbs from my peak of 240 but I've seen others that were pretty severe. Surgery is the only way to permanently deal with it and I can't imagine being really happy about looking like that. You'd never wear tight clothes again that's for sure.
Another thing is, it doesn't affect you much when you are young but as you get older the extra weight really drags you down. Your joints start to ache, you have less and less energy as the years go by, you'll get injured more and more. You'll have health issues you wouldn't otherwise have had. You'll find you can't keep up to your kids, your grandkids, nieces, nephews etc. You'll miss out on life simply because you can't do what everyone else can do eventually.
The only way IMO that you miss out on life is if you turn your back on it. Obese people might not be able to climb a mountain but there are other things that they can do to enjoy life.
I agree with the weight being hard on you as you grow older. However being obese affects the young in different ways...the opinions of others has more of an affect on you than when you are older. Quite frankly at age 64...I could care less about what others think of me.
No one however has to miss out on life if they choose not to. Even people that are bed ridden can enjoy the life that they have been given.
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JohnnyPenso wrote: »
You might GAF about fatness when you lose that 70 lbs and have some skin hanging off your belly that flaps in a strong windtmoneyag99 wrote: »I haven't read the whole thread and I want to say this. At the base of it all is the thought that a fat person doesn't deserve love or respect because they are fat.
I used to be in the same category as many of you that it was silly. And then... I got fat. (rough pregnancy and some stressful times)
They way people treat me now is horrible. Many of the people now in my department didn't know me from my "skinny" days. So I'm not allowed to join in conversations about nutrition or exercise. Nevermind that I have run a half-marathon and used to run 4miles daily. Instead I get recommendations on how to lose the weight and how to exercise. When I want to say "Erm yeah, when I'm done I'll be able to kick your butt at the gym" but this experience has made me FAR more empathetic. I'm actually very thankful for it.
And @Christine_72 My weight is not the center of my focus. I have a family and a son that is 2.5 and he is the center of my world. I am VERY happy with my life. While I am trying to lose weight for the sake of my health my weight has no bearing on my happiness. Infact, I can tell you that while life is full of peaks and vallies I am currently experiencing a peak. I am 70lbs overweight but I am very happy with my life.
I don't GAF about the fatness. It's just something that for the sake of health needs to change. Kind of like taking antibiotics. I don't get forlorn because I have a sinus infection. I go to the doctor, get on the meds and get rid of the damn thing. The same thing about fat. I'm not depressed or ashamed when I look in the mirror. I have never been a binge eater. The weight came on due to some crazy life events. WHICH is often the story of many obese people. BUT obesity isn't as easy to fix as a sinus infection. THAT is what gets some people forlorn. When they bust their butts and the scale barely budges.
The Fat acceptance movement isn't about thinking obesity is okay. It's about recognizing that a fat person is more than just that extra weight they have. The person you are looking at might have a good sense of humor. They actually might have more self confidence, better self image, better self worth than you.
I mean imagine for one minute a fat person being PROUD that they are a good parent, a great engineer, have discovered an important protein that might help fight cancer, or even has saved a child from a life of physical and sexual abuse. Imagine it because those people exist. I know them personally. For these people, the things they do WITH their life is far more important to them than what they look like to others. These people deserve to be loved and respected. They may be shortening their lives with their diet (which really is heart breaking) but the impact they have on the world is far more than some "healthy" people do. So accept that they are fat, and thank them for their contributions to society. I've been pretty lucky that it hasn't affected me much and I'm down 75 lbs from my peak of 240 but I've seen others that were pretty severe. Surgery is the only way to permanently deal with it and I can't imagine being really happy about looking like that. You'd never wear tight clothes again that's for sure.
Another thing is, it doesn't affect you much when you are young but as you get older the extra weight really drags you down. Your joints start to ache, you have less and less energy as the years go by, you'll get injured more and more. You'll have health issues you wouldn't otherwise have had. You'll find you can't keep up to your kids, your grandkids, nieces, nephews etc. You'll miss out on life simply because you can't do what everyone else can do eventually.
The only way IMO that you miss out on life is if you turn your back on it. Obese people might not be able to climb a mountain but there are other things that they can do to enjoy life.
I agree with the weight being hard on you as you grow older. However being obese affects the young in different ways...the opinions of others has more of an affect on you than when you are older. Quite frankly at age 64...I could care less about what others think of me.
No one however has to miss out on life if they choose not to. Even people that are bed ridden can enjoy the life that they have been given.
Seeing friends put in nursing home prematurely just because they are too fat to be cared for by the small spouse at home was part of my wake up call to start eating to improve my general health.7 -
It is not my place to accept nor to reject someone elses weight. It is only my responsibility is to treat others with compassion and kindness. We all make our own decisions...we are all responsible for ourselves.
As far as the obese costing our economy...yes it has been documented that they do. We all do however in one way or another.
If you drive a vehicle...you cost our economy. If you use public areas...you cost our economy. The list goes on.
If you draw a social security check...you cost. Most people pay in far less than they get back. The homeless...people suffering from long term illness...those that don't make enough to survive on their own...the list goes on. In some shape form or fashion we all come with a price on society.
IDK...instead of complaining and judging maybe our time would be better spent helping to find solutions.
Oh...and even our own government is a drain on our economy. How many of you remember a toilet seat that cost $500 bucks that they could have picked up from Home Depot for less than $20.
I am not saying that people should not be encourage to get fit and healthy...it is however their choice...not mine. I can only make decisions for myself.5 -
To be honest, the FA movement isn't really about glorying obesity as much as it is glorifying self love. Think about it this way: a skinny person hates their body and people run to them and say you are beautiful. An obese person is confident and believes they are beautiful and there are thinpo telling them to lose weight.
Like are only THIN people allowed to love their bodies? An obese person's health is none of your business. And plus thin =/= healthy. This subject does get me fired up in a way because moat people want to lose weight because society tells them they are NOT allowed to love our bodies and not because they really want to.
However I DO agree being fat can have health risks. But if they won't listen, allow them to love themselves. I am losing weight for me and for me only. If i don't look "presentable" them I don't care. My health comes before people's feelings and comfort.
PS: please also do not listen to any former fatties that tell you fat shaming is the way to go. it's not! we all know that.
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burtmccleary wrote: »I do not have an issue with self love, but accepting obesity is a sham.
We've become this culture of crybaby snowflakes too insecure to face the truth about the consequences of laziness and gluttony which is a fat body in ill health.
I have no patience for anybody rationalizing failure.
It's interesting how differently we define failure.
Yes, similar to what I think you mentioned here or in another thread, why is fatness being picked out as the definition of failure or not? Why not be as harsh about people not knowing calculus or even who their Congressman is, or how a bill is passed, or being ignorant of classics of western literature, or not doing anything for the community/a charity or failing to keep up with current scientific developments, or not being kind, or not caring for older people in their life, or failing to pursue a career or buy a house or on and on.
We all have our personal decisions and values that shape what things are most important to us. To decide that this one way defines failure makes no sense.
Similarly, there are lots of ways that people live their lives that I would not consider okay to me (and I really cannot understand the choices, even), but I don't think it's my place to tell them it's not okay or to define for them what is okay or to proclaim it on the internet. Not unless it affects others in a way well beyond how this does. Maybe that's weird.10 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »burtmccleary wrote: »I do not have an issue with self love, but accepting obesity is a sham.
We've become this culture of crybaby snowflakes too insecure to face the truth about the consequences of laziness and gluttony which is a fat body in ill health.
I have no patience for anybody rationalizing failure.
It's interesting how differently we define failure.
Yes, similar to what I think you mentioned here or in another thread, why is fatness being picked out as the definition of failure or not? Why not be as harsh about people not knowing calculus or even who their Congressman is, or how a bill is passed, or being ignorant of classics of western literature, or not doing anything for the community/a charity or failing to keep up with current scientific developments, or not being kind, or not caring for older people in their life, or failing to pursue a career or buy a house or on and on.
We all have our personal decisions and values that shape what things are most important to us. To decide that this one way defines failure makes no sense.
Similarly, there are lots of ways that people live their lives that I would not consider okay to me (and I really cannot understand the choices, even), but I don't think it's my place to tell them it's not okay or to define for them what is okay or to proclaim it on the internet. Not unless it affects others in a way well beyond how this does. Maybe that's weird.
No...not weird at all.
I should probably stop right here or I might go off on another one of my tangents. I will say however...
I learned along time ago that we never know what other people are going through...what they have been through...nor where they are headed. One might look at an obese person and just assume that they are lazy and piggish or whatever. We don't know however what caused them to give up and just not care.
I don't think anyone starts out to become obese (yea I know...maybe there is someone out there that did but that is not the norm). Nor do I think that people set out to be unfit and unhealthy. Something somewhere along the line triggered the overeating and the lack of activity. Something keeps them from changing. Sure...maybe at first it crept up on them but at some point they had to realize that they were gaining weight...becoming unfit.
To add to your list of people...my worse judgment of others comes about those unresponsible pet owners that let their dogs jump on you and/or let their dogs take a dump in the middle of the sidewalk and not clean it up. Now those people...there just isn't an excuse for that kind of behavior.5 -
If you want to be fat, then be fat. I will never accept fat on myself and think im healthy though1
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Or a weak, whiney parent presenting some chronically indulged little kid with a million options at the IHOP while the waitress has to stand there. "Do you want pancakes Honey? Or how about two scrambled eggs? How about some toast with butter and cinnamon sugar? Do you want milk? No? But you like all those things. What's with the sourpuss? What would you like then? Look at me sweetheart. The girl is waiting. How about French toast. They have the syrup you like. You could even have a hamburger sweetie. Sweetie? Come on now. Answer me. Would you like butter on your pancakes or she can serve it on the side. Honey?" Wait 'til this brat grows up to be the office supervisor.
Having terrible flashbacks to my time as a waitress.4 -
I'm legitimately insulted when I bring up to anyone that I'm losing weight via calorie counting / exercise and overhauling my diet, and they tell me I look great the way I am and don't need to lose any weight. I literally want to punch them in the face.
I'm 30.1% body fat currently, if I were 25% body fat and saying "uhhgg I NEED to lose weight I can't eat anything so I can lose 15 lbs!" yeah sure, tell me I'm healthy and look good or whatever, but when I'm obese and if I gain any more weight will be at risk for heart disease and diabetes and an early death, uh no, acceptance is NOT what I need from ANYBODY, INCLUDING myself!2 -
janejellyroll wrote: »
Or a weak, whiney parent presenting some chronically indulged little kid with a million options at the IHOP while the waitress has to stand there. "Do you want pancakes Honey? Or how about two scrambled eggs? How about some toast with butter and cinnamon sugar? Do you want milk? No? But you like all those things. What's with the sourpuss? What would you like then? Look at me sweetheart. The girl is waiting. How about French toast. They have the syrup you like. You could even have a hamburger sweetie. Sweetie? Come on now. Answer me. Would you like butter on your pancakes or she can serve it on the side. Honey?" Wait 'til this brat grows up to be the office supervisor.
Having terrible flashbacks to my time as a waitress.
Me too. Remembering the awfulness of not being able to roll my eyes, walk away, or even scream at them. To this day, if I dine with anyone who inadvertently tortures a waiter or waitress, I will never eat in a restaurant with them again.
No better insight into the minds of others, simply watching how they treat those who serve them.
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You'll miss out on life simply because you can't do what everyone else can do eventually.
Christopher Reeves missed out on a lot of things in life because a horse back riding accident paralyzed him. He didn't stop living the best he could.
The thing is if we keep shaming people because they are fat we are telling them that they aren't worthy to be around us until they lose the fat. BUT Where is the one place fat/obese people need to be? Out, active, with their family. Instead due to embarassment so many of them DONT live. So many of them are sitting infront of the television rather than deal with the crappy comments they will here.
Also know this, obsese does not mean that you can't move. Even "Morbidly obese" can participate in life. But for some reason they are ostracized when the very thing that they need to move forward and move past is inclusion.
I hope some of you watch those videos and if I have lose skin after the 70lbs... no I won't GAF. My health is paramount. Life is not perfect. My body will never be perfect for society. BUT My husband loves me, My son adores me, and hopefully I raise him to be a far more empathetic person than many of the people I see on this thread. He's already showing signs of it at 2.
Here's another one for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7oyTazgBmk
Side note my weight gain was due to 1) trying to get pregnant, 2) getting pregnant 3) being placed on bed rest the last 2 months of my pregnancy 4) Stresses dealing with a new born with eating/latching issues, & a dying MIL. Life happens.
If 4 years ago someone would have asked the me of today "If I told you that with your pregnancy will come tremendous taxations on your health, body and sanity as well as an 80lb weight gain would you still have your son"
The answer is a resounding yes without a doubt. The simple fact is I am a smart woman, a good mother, a good friend and a good daughter. The people in my life that know me love me. I usually put most people before me because I'm selfless to a fault. My fat & any imperfections current or future will never define all of me. Besides one day we will all look like this one day.
As long as my body is functioning optimally and I'm able to continue to do those things that make me truly happy (like play with my very active little boy) I dont care what others think about my appearance. That concern went by the wayside the day I found out I was pregnant.
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smelliefeet wrote: »I'm legitimately insulted when I bring up to anyone that I'm losing weight via calorie counting / exercise and overhauling my diet, and they tell me I look great the way I am and don't need to lose any weight. I literally want to punch them in the face.
I'm 30.1% body fat currently, if I were 25% body fat and saying "uhhgg I NEED to lose weight I can't eat anything so I can lose 15 lbs!" yeah sure, tell me I'm healthy and look good or whatever, but when I'm obese and if I gain any more weight will be at risk for heart disease and diabetes and an early death, uh no, acceptance is NOT what I need from ANYBODY, INCLUDING myself!
Sometimes when you bring up weight loss to someone you have kind of put them on the spot. They don't know what to say...they don't want to run the risk of being rude.
An event happened in my life. People wanted to say something...sometimes what they said wasn't very helpful...sometimes it didn't even make sense. I tried to understand that they meant well and just had no idea how to address the subject.4 -
smelliefeet wrote: »I'm legitimately insulted when I bring up to anyone that I'm losing weight via calorie counting / exercise and overhauling my diet, and they tell me I look great the way I am and don't need to lose any weight. I literally want to punch them in the face.
I'm 30.1% body fat currently, if I were 25% body fat and saying "uhhgg I NEED to lose weight I can't eat anything so I can lose 15 lbs!" yeah sure, tell me I'm healthy and look good or whatever, but when I'm obese and if I gain any more weight will be at risk for heart disease and diabetes and an early death, uh no, acceptance is NOT what I need from ANYBODY, INCLUDING myself!
Sometimes when you bring up weight loss to someone you have kind of put them on the spot. They don't know what to say...they don't want to run the risk of being rude.
An event happened in my life. People wanted to say something...sometimes what they said wasn't very helpful...sometimes it didn't even make sense. I tried to understand that they meant well and just had no idea how to address the subject.
I think what many people are trying to say when they say things like this is "You're special to me no matter what your weight is." I don't doubt that makes it any less frustrating when it isn't what we want to hear from someone, but it can sometimes be a nice thing to remember.4 -
JstTheWayIam wrote: »Aaron_K123 wrote: »JstTheWayIam wrote: »And it's not just about calories, the food industry is willing to sell cancer causing substances wrapped in sugar to kids in order to make an extra penny on the dollar.
That is some FoodBabe/Mercola level b.s. right there. Can you provide one example of a product currently on shelves marketed towards children that contains a KNOWN group 1 carcinogen (ie not a group 2,3 or 4)? Can you even name one that is group 2A or 2B that isn't something like bacon? (which you better not be complaining about bacon man). Not only that but at levels significantly above what is in everything else to actually be concerned (keep in mind I could list off some class 1 known carcinogens present in fruit).
I just don't get people who say stuff like this. If you genuinely believed there was a KNOWN carcinogen being sold to kids in a grocery store right now that was going to ACTIVELY cause them to develop cancer then why aren't you in that store ripping it off the shelf?
You can read this if you like...
http://www.ecowatch.com/5-reasons-high-fructose-corn-syrup-will-kill-you-1882106389.html
Not to mention that Coke and Pepsi have admitted there products contain cancer causing substance... Not to mention obesity, diabetes among other health issues, in children.
Are you actually going to sit there and try to defend their right to market soda, knowing how terrible it is for you, to kids.
Why on earth would someone try to defend these companies that don't give a damn about you or your health, by trying ever so lamely, to split hairs with me.
You can find articles online that site studies blaming soda for over 184000 deaths each year.
And another thing, do you honestly think you know more than Dr Mercola or Dr Greger, or Dr Haymen or Dr Furman.
Drink your soda... Swim in it for all I care. It's your right to let these companies take advantage of you if you want to be a fool.
I don't think ANYTHING should be marketed to ANYONE that does not have the right to enter into a legally binding contract. They do not have the power to make decisions therefore trying to persuade them to do XYZ is essentially intervening/over stepping the parents/caregiver's rules or policies.
If my child had a friend or Family member that purposely tried to override my decision making through coercion and enticement he or she would be invited to leave our lives. My kid doesn't get to watch much television due to the development and health implications related, so the lack of marketing to him is an added bonus.0 -
janejellyroll wrote: »
Or a weak, whiney parent presenting some chronically indulged little kid with a million options at the IHOP while the waitress has to stand there. "Do you want pancakes Honey? Or how about two scrambled eggs? How about some toast with butter and cinnamon sugar? Do you want milk? No? But you like all those things. What's with the sourpuss? What would you like then? Look at me sweetheart. The girl is waiting. How about French toast. They have the syrup you like. You could even have a hamburger sweetie. Sweetie? Come on now. Answer me. Would you like butter on your pancakes or she can serve it on the side. Honey?" Wait 'til this brat grows up to be the office supervisor.
Having terrible flashbacks to my time as a waitress.
Me too. Remembering the awfulness of not being able to roll my eyes, walk away, or even scream at them. To this day, if I dine with anyone who inadvertently tortures a waiter or waitress, I will never eat in a restaurant with them again.
No better insight into the minds of others, simply watching how they treat those who serve them.
And a fine dating tip for screening purposes!
I'm showing this at our team meeting this week:
https://www.ted.com/talks/adam_grant_are_you_a_giver_or_a_taker
Something I've been doing for some time now whenever I meet someone new - putting them in a situation where I can see their behavior around waitstaff or other service personnel. Far more valuable than any interview.
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Whether this is the right thing to do or not, i do not know.... But if I'm ever standing in a checkout and the customer in front of me is awful to the checkout girl, I will always, always comment to her in a loud voice " I don't know how you put up with rude and obnoxious customers day in, day out". They're not allowed to vent, so i say it for them! The offending customer usually scurries off in embarrassment. There is absolutely no excuse to treat someone who is helping you with such disrespect.
I worked in fast food and checkout jobs when i was a teenager, and i got sacked or quit quickly from all of them, as i could not keep my mouth shut. If a customer was an A-hole to me, i gave them the same attitude back. Customer service and me do not a good mix make
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LiftingRiot wrote: »If you want to be fat, then be fat. I will never accept fat on myself and think im healthy though
This is absolutely reasonable. Hopefully, if you in counter obese people you do not place your rules on them. You are likely healthy. But it's also likely that your priorities are different from someone else's. That's okay.2 -
janejellyroll wrote: »
Or a weak, whiney parent presenting some chronically indulged little kid with a million options at the IHOP while the waitress has to stand there. "Do you want pancakes Honey? Or how about two scrambled eggs? How about some toast with butter and cinnamon sugar? Do you want milk? No? But you like all those things. What's with the sourpuss? What would you like then? Look at me sweetheart. The girl is waiting. How about French toast. They have the syrup you like. You could even have a hamburger sweetie. Sweetie? Come on now. Answer me. Would you like butter on your pancakes or she can serve it on the side. Honey?" Wait 'til this brat grows up to be the office supervisor.
Having terrible flashbacks to my time as a waitress.
Me too. Remembering the awfulness of not being able to roll my eyes, walk away, or even scream at them. To this day, if I dine with anyone who inadvertently tortures a waiter or waitress, I will never eat in a restaurant with them again.
No better insight into the minds of others, simply watching how they treat those who serve them.
Not necessarily. I can seem very crass if you read me wrong, but I am just not there for pleasantries, and I know the waiter/waitress isn't either, even if they get paid to seem like they are. I am efficienct with order delivery, to the point with any answer to a question, and so long as my coffee cup never empties, they've already earned at minimum, a $20 tip. Yeah, I've given 1200% tips before for that reason alone.
Still doesn't stop people from telling me that I'm an a-hole for not smiling or being personable.4 -
Gallowmere1984 wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »
Or a weak, whiney parent presenting some chronically indulged little kid with a million options at the IHOP while the waitress has to stand there. "Do you want pancakes Honey? Or how about two scrambled eggs? How about some toast with butter and cinnamon sugar? Do you want milk? No? But you like all those things. What's with the sourpuss? What would you like then? Look at me sweetheart. The girl is waiting. How about French toast. They have the syrup you like. You could even have a hamburger sweetie. Sweetie? Come on now. Answer me. Would you like butter on your pancakes or she can serve it on the side. Honey?" Wait 'til this brat grows up to be the office supervisor.
Having terrible flashbacks to my time as a waitress.
Me too. Remembering the awfulness of not being able to roll my eyes, walk away, or even scream at them. To this day, if I dine with anyone who inadvertently tortures a waiter or waitress, I will never eat in a restaurant with them again.
No better insight into the minds of others, simply watching how they treat those who serve them.
Not necessarily. I can seem very crass if you read me wrong, but I am just not there for pleasantries, and I know the waiter/waitress isn't either, even if they get paid to seem like they are. I am efficienct with order delivery, to the point with any answer to a question, and so long as my coffee cup never empties, they've already earned at minimum, a $20 tip. Yeah, I've given 1200% tips before for that reason alone.
Still doesn't stop people from telling me that I'm an a-hole for not smiling or being personable.
What do you do when you're seated with a party of five and after the server recites the salad dressing selection after taking the first order, the other 4 dolts ask for a recitation of the same selections like they never heard it before?
And after ordering they shove the menu at the server to take even though his or her hands are busy writing on the order tablet.
And then after they order and the entrees have been thrown on the grill by the cooks, 2 out of the 5 yell out "EXCUSE ME!" and beckon the server back to the table while he or she's busy delivering a huge tray of meals to another table. When the server arrives back to them they say "I'd like to change my order." The server runs back to the kitchen and explains what happened, apologizes and begs for them to refire the order because the dolts changed their minds.
Meanwhile the sous chef complains to the chef who complains to the restaurant assistant manager that the server is incompetent and is screwing up the line and a bunch of expensive food has to be tossed. Because the server doesn't know what he/or she is doing.
Then the server is given the cold shoulder by the kitchen for the rest of the night and gets a verbal warning by the restaurant manager in the middle of the rush. "Deal with your customers with more skill or go find another job. We won't be telling you this again. We had to toss a sirloin steak and a broiled haddock. Who's going to pay for that? You?"
Okay, no more ranting from me.
@Gallowmere1984 you sound like the customer every server wants to have. You get right to the point, you're paying attention, you don't ask if the server is single or how many kids they have and you tip generously.
I would move to another table before i died of utter embarrassment and would never go out to eat with these people again!9 -
Gallowmere1984 wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »
Or a weak, whiney parent presenting some chronically indulged little kid with a million options at the IHOP while the waitress has to stand there. "Do you want pancakes Honey? Or how about two scrambled eggs? How about some toast with butter and cinnamon sugar? Do you want milk? No? But you like all those things. What's with the sourpuss? What would you like then? Look at me sweetheart. The girl is waiting. How about French toast. They have the syrup you like. You could even have a hamburger sweetie. Sweetie? Come on now. Answer me. Would you like butter on your pancakes or she can serve it on the side. Honey?" Wait 'til this brat grows up to be the office supervisor.
Having terrible flashbacks to my time as a waitress.
Me too. Remembering the awfulness of not being able to roll my eyes, walk away, or even scream at them. To this day, if I dine with anyone who inadvertently tortures a waiter or waitress, I will never eat in a restaurant with them again.
No better insight into the minds of others, simply watching how they treat those who serve them.
Not necessarily. I can seem very crass if you read me wrong, but I am just not there for pleasantries, and I know the waiter/waitress isn't either, even if they get paid to seem like they are. I am efficienct with order delivery, to the point with any answer to a question, and so long as my coffee cup never empties, they've already earned at minimum, a $20 tip. Yeah, I've given 1200% tips before for that reason alone.
Still doesn't stop people from telling me that I'm an a-hole for not smiling or being personable.
Do you at least say please and thank you?3 -
Gallowmere1984 wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »
Or a weak, whiney parent presenting some chronically indulged little kid with a million options at the IHOP while the waitress has to stand there. "Do you want pancakes Honey? Or how about two scrambled eggs? How about some toast with butter and cinnamon sugar? Do you want milk? No? But you like all those things. What's with the sourpuss? What would you like then? Look at me sweetheart. The girl is waiting. How about French toast. They have the syrup you like. You could even have a hamburger sweetie. Sweetie? Come on now. Answer me. Would you like butter on your pancakes or she can serve it on the side. Honey?" Wait 'til this brat grows up to be the office supervisor.
Having terrible flashbacks to my time as a waitress.
Me too. Remembering the awfulness of not being able to roll my eyes, walk away, or even scream at them. To this day, if I dine with anyone who inadvertently tortures a waiter or waitress, I will never eat in a restaurant with them again.
No better insight into the minds of others, simply watching how they treat those who serve them.
Not necessarily. I can seem very crass if you read me wrong, but I am just not there for pleasantries, and I know the waiter/waitress isn't either, even if they get paid to seem like they are. I am efficienct with order delivery, to the point with any answer to a question, and so long as my coffee cup never empties, they've already earned at minimum, a $20 tip. Yeah, I've given 1200% tips before for that reason alone.
Still doesn't stop people from telling me that I'm an a-hole for not smiling or being personable.
What do you do when you're seated with a party of five and after the server recites the salad dressing selection after taking the first order, the other 4 dolts ask for a recitation of the same selections like they never heard it before?
And after ordering they shove the menu at the server to take even though his or her hands are busy writing on the order tablet.
And then after they order and the entrees have been thrown on the grill by the cooks, 2 out of the 5 yell out "EXCUSE ME!" and beckon the server back to the table while he or she's busy delivering a huge tray of meals to another table. When the server arrives back to them they say "I'd like to change my order." The server runs back to the kitchen and explains what happened, apologizes and begs for them to refire the order because the dolts changed their minds.
Meanwhile the sous chef complains to the chef who complains to the restaurant assistant manager that the server is incompetent and is screwing up the line and a bunch of expensive food has to be tossed. Because the server doesn't know what he/or she is doing.
Then the server is given the cold shoulder by the kitchen for the rest of the night and gets a verbal warning by the restaurant manager in the middle of the rush. "Deal with your customers with more skill or go find another job. We won't be telling you this again. We had to toss a sirloin steak and a broiled haddock. Who's going to pay for that? You?"
Okay, no more ranting from me.
@Gallowmere1984 you sound like the customer every server wants to have. You get right to the point, you're paying attention, you don't ask if the server is single or how many kids they have and you tip generously.
That party I'd *kitten*. Would not go out with them again.
I'd leave extra for the wait staff to try and make up for the crap.2 -
janejellyroll wrote: »smelliefeet wrote: »I'm legitimately insulted when I bring up to anyone that I'm losing weight via calorie counting / exercise and overhauling my diet, and they tell me I look great the way I am and don't need to lose any weight. I literally want to punch them in the face.
I'm 30.1% body fat currently, if I were 25% body fat and saying "uhhgg I NEED to lose weight I can't eat anything so I can lose 15 lbs!" yeah sure, tell me I'm healthy and look good or whatever, but when I'm obese and if I gain any more weight will be at risk for heart disease and diabetes and an early death, uh no, acceptance is NOT what I need from ANYBODY, INCLUDING myself!
Sometimes when you bring up weight loss to someone you have kind of put them on the spot. They don't know what to say...they don't want to run the risk of being rude.
An event happened in my life. People wanted to say something...sometimes what they said wasn't very helpful...sometimes it didn't even make sense. I tried to understand that they meant well and just had no idea how to address the subject.
I think what many people are trying to say when they say things like this is "You're special to me no matter what your weight is." I don't doubt that makes it any less frustrating when it isn't what we want to hear from someone, but it can sometimes be a nice thing to remember.
Yeah, great way to explain it.
When people complain about someone saying "you look fine," that just reads to me as complaining that someone is trying to be nice or supportive or polite. Sure, maybe it's not what you want to hear, but just as many people say "oh, man, I'm so fat, I need to lose weight" and then if the other person says "yeah, I hear you, I've been working on that too, here's what I'm doing" show up at MFP bitching about how that person implicitly called them fat or fails to realize that you are really much thinner than they are or who knows what. Often (and especially with weight) you can't win.2 -
Tacklewasher wrote: »Gallowmere1984 wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »
Or a weak, whiney parent presenting some chronically indulged little kid with a million options at the IHOP while the waitress has to stand there. "Do you want pancakes Honey? Or how about two scrambled eggs? How about some toast with butter and cinnamon sugar? Do you want milk? No? But you like all those things. What's with the sourpuss? What would you like then? Look at me sweetheart. The girl is waiting. How about French toast. They have the syrup you like. You could even have a hamburger sweetie. Sweetie? Come on now. Answer me. Would you like butter on your pancakes or she can serve it on the side. Honey?" Wait 'til this brat grows up to be the office supervisor.
Having terrible flashbacks to my time as a waitress.
Me too. Remembering the awfulness of not being able to roll my eyes, walk away, or even scream at them. To this day, if I dine with anyone who inadvertently tortures a waiter or waitress, I will never eat in a restaurant with them again.
No better insight into the minds of others, simply watching how they treat those who serve them.
Not necessarily. I can seem very crass if you read me wrong, but I am just not there for pleasantries, and I know the waiter/waitress isn't either, even if they get paid to seem like they are. I am efficienct with order delivery, to the point with any answer to a question, and so long as my coffee cup never empties, they've already earned at minimum, a $20 tip. Yeah, I've given 1200% tips before for that reason alone.
Still doesn't stop people from telling me that I'm an a-hole for not smiling or being personable.
Do you at least say please and thank you?
Please? No. I don't say "please" for anything, ever.
Thanks? Absolutely.3 -
I've always wondered about the FAM, too. I've read a fair amount of FA blogs that express wanting people to accept HAES, but they're always written by some 21 year-old female. I'm no expert but bodies seem to be less and less resilient as we age. That being said - where are the obese 50-60 year-olds preaching about how healthy they feel and how the obesity hasn't negatively impacted their quality of life?
Sidebar - I don't have the brain capacity left to care if people want to embrace obesity. I personally hated every moment of it, but I am under no delusions that my opinions are correct.6 -
Somehow the focus from society needs to be on having a healthy BMI rather than looking good, being skinny.2
-
Everyone is entitled to respect, but too often proponents of the Fat Acceptance movement are deluded fanatics. They want people to believe that extremely high, unhealthy weights are normal and that we should not be concerned, despite the evidence that there is an obesity epidemic. They treat the mere discussion of healthy eating and living as an attack on them. No doctor will tell you that being obese isn't going to take its toll in time.
The desire to shut down discussion precludes discovery of avenues that might help.2 -
tmoneyag99 wrote: »
Just want to say, don't these two look like they're kicked back in recliners, laughing their a**** off at a comedy on TV?
6 -
Gallowmere1984 wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »
Or a weak, whiney parent presenting some chronically indulged little kid with a million options at the IHOP while the waitress has to stand there. "Do you want pancakes Honey? Or how about two scrambled eggs? How about some toast with butter and cinnamon sugar? Do you want milk? No? But you like all those things. What's with the sourpuss? What would you like then? Look at me sweetheart. The girl is waiting. How about French toast. They have the syrup you like. You could even have a hamburger sweetie. Sweetie? Come on now. Answer me. Would you like butter on your pancakes or she can serve it on the side. Honey?" Wait 'til this brat grows up to be the office supervisor.
Having terrible flashbacks to my time as a waitress.
Me too. Remembering the awfulness of not being able to roll my eyes, walk away, or even scream at them. To this day, if I dine with anyone who inadvertently tortures a waiter or waitress, I will never eat in a restaurant with them again.
No better insight into the minds of others, simply watching how they treat those who serve them.
Not necessarily. I can seem very crass if you read me wrong, but I am just not there for pleasantries, and I know the waiter/waitress isn't either, even if they get paid to seem like they are. I am efficienct with order delivery, to the point with any answer to a question, and so long as my coffee cup never empties, they've already earned at minimum, a $20 tip. Yeah, I've given 1200% tips before for that reason alone.
Still doesn't stop people from telling me that I'm an a-hole for not smiling or being personable.
The key point of this is that people would read you wrong.
I enjoy the pleasantries when people have time to do so, but I'm deliberately building this skill.
We are teaching our kids this - to ensure that you are always prepared and not to be the jackwagon that others are waiting on, and to be generous.1 -
Gallowmere1984 wrote: »Tacklewasher wrote: »Gallowmere1984 wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »
Or a weak, whiney parent presenting some chronically indulged little kid with a million options at the IHOP while the waitress has to stand there. "Do you want pancakes Honey? Or how about two scrambled eggs? How about some toast with butter and cinnamon sugar? Do you want milk? No? But you like all those things. What's with the sourpuss? What would you like then? Look at me sweetheart. The girl is waiting. How about French toast. They have the syrup you like. You could even have a hamburger sweetie. Sweetie? Come on now. Answer me. Would you like butter on your pancakes or she can serve it on the side. Honey?" Wait 'til this brat grows up to be the office supervisor.
Having terrible flashbacks to my time as a waitress.
Me too. Remembering the awfulness of not being able to roll my eyes, walk away, or even scream at them. To this day, if I dine with anyone who inadvertently tortures a waiter or waitress, I will never eat in a restaurant with them again.
No better insight into the minds of others, simply watching how they treat those who serve them.
Not necessarily. I can seem very crass if you read me wrong, but I am just not there for pleasantries, and I know the waiter/waitress isn't either, even if they get paid to seem like they are. I am efficienct with order delivery, to the point with any answer to a question, and so long as my coffee cup never empties, they've already earned at minimum, a $20 tip. Yeah, I've given 1200% tips before for that reason alone.
Still doesn't stop people from telling me that I'm an a-hole for not smiling or being personable.
Do you at least say please and thank you?
Please? No. I don't say "please" for anything, ever.
Thanks? Absolutely.
Yeah. I wouldn't date you. Please is still part of manners when talking to waitstaff.15 -
I think that shaming people for the size of their bodies is unbelievably cruel and should not happen, ever. Having said that, it is worrisome to me that it is becoming socially acceptable to be so very overweight. It is super unhealthy and can lead to early death. But, I can only do so much in my little corner of the world, so I encourage my girls to eat right and get decent amounts of exercise, and talk to them openly (and kindly) about the dangers of being obese.
Yup! As someone who has been skinny AND fat, I can honestly say that being fat I am not healthy. I do all the things I did when I was skinny but I can FEEL how this extra weight is HURTING my body. It amazes me sometimes how much weaker I am at this weight.
I'm all about not shaming, not being cruel but I'm not okay with acting as if being overweight is healthy, because it's not. Of course I know my experience isn't everyone's but I've known others like myself.. and I've seen how much weaker they are when they're overweight. Everything from their backs, to their knees, to their lungs suffer with the extra weight.2
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