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Fat Acceptance Movement

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  • Annie_01
    Annie_01 Posts: 3,096 Member
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    I'm legitimately insulted when I bring up to anyone that I'm losing weight via calorie counting / exercise and overhauling my diet, and they tell me I look great the way I am and don't need to lose any weight. I literally want to punch them in the face.

    I'm 30.1% body fat currently, if I were 25% body fat and saying "uhhgg I NEED to lose weight I can't eat anything so I can lose 15 lbs!" yeah sure, tell me I'm healthy and look good or whatever, but when I'm obese and if I gain any more weight will be at risk for heart disease and diabetes and an early death, uh no, acceptance is NOT what I need from ANYBODY, INCLUDING myself!

    Sometimes when you bring up weight loss to someone you have kind of put them on the spot. They don't know what to say...they don't want to run the risk of being rude.

    An event happened in my life. People wanted to say something...sometimes what they said wasn't very helpful...sometimes it didn't even make sense. I tried to understand that they meant well and just had no idea how to address the subject.
  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
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    Annie_01 wrote: »
    I'm legitimately insulted when I bring up to anyone that I'm losing weight via calorie counting / exercise and overhauling my diet, and they tell me I look great the way I am and don't need to lose any weight. I literally want to punch them in the face.

    I'm 30.1% body fat currently, if I were 25% body fat and saying "uhhgg I NEED to lose weight I can't eat anything so I can lose 15 lbs!" yeah sure, tell me I'm healthy and look good or whatever, but when I'm obese and if I gain any more weight will be at risk for heart disease and diabetes and an early death, uh no, acceptance is NOT what I need from ANYBODY, INCLUDING myself!

    Sometimes when you bring up weight loss to someone you have kind of put them on the spot. They don't know what to say...they don't want to run the risk of being rude.

    An event happened in my life. People wanted to say something...sometimes what they said wasn't very helpful...sometimes it didn't even make sense. I tried to understand that they meant well and just had no idea how to address the subject.

    I think what many people are trying to say when they say things like this is "You're special to me no matter what your weight is." I don't doubt that makes it any less frustrating when it isn't what we want to hear from someone, but it can sometimes be a nice thing to remember.
  • tmoneyag99
    tmoneyag99 Posts: 480 Member
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    Aaron_K123 wrote: »
    And it's not just about calories, the food industry is willing to sell cancer causing substances wrapped in sugar to kids in order to make an extra penny on the dollar.

    That is some FoodBabe/Mercola level b.s. right there. Can you provide one example of a product currently on shelves marketed towards children that contains a KNOWN group 1 carcinogen (ie not a group 2,3 or 4)? Can you even name one that is group 2A or 2B that isn't something like bacon? (which you better not be complaining about bacon man). Not only that but at levels significantly above what is in everything else to actually be concerned (keep in mind I could list off some class 1 known carcinogens present in fruit).

    I just don't get people who say stuff like this. If you genuinely believed there was a KNOWN carcinogen being sold to kids in a grocery store right now that was going to ACTIVELY cause them to develop cancer then why aren't you in that store ripping it off the shelf?

    You can read this if you like...

    http://www.ecowatch.com/5-reasons-high-fructose-corn-syrup-will-kill-you-1882106389.html

    Not to mention that Coke and Pepsi have admitted there products contain cancer causing substance... Not to mention obesity, diabetes among other health issues, in children.

    Are you actually going to sit there and try to defend their right to market soda, knowing how terrible it is for you, to kids.

    Why on earth would someone try to defend these companies that don't give a damn about you or your health, by trying ever so lamely, to split hairs with me.

    You can find articles online that site studies blaming soda for over 184000 deaths each year.

    And another thing, do you honestly think you know more than Dr Mercola or Dr Greger, or Dr Haymen or Dr Furman.

    Drink your soda... Swim in it for all I care. It's your right to let these companies take advantage of you if you want to be a fool.

    I don't think ANYTHING should be marketed to ANYONE that does not have the right to enter into a legally binding contract. They do not have the power to make decisions therefore trying to persuade them to do XYZ is essentially intervening/over stepping the parents/caregiver's rules or policies.

    If my child had a friend or Family member that purposely tried to override my decision making through coercion and enticement he or she would be invited to leave our lives. My kid doesn't get to watch much television due to the development and health implications related, so the lack of marketing to him is an added bonus.
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
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    newmeadow wrote: »
    CSARdiver wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »

    Or a weak, whiney parent presenting some chronically indulged little kid with a million options at the IHOP while the waitress has to stand there. "Do you want pancakes Honey? Or how about two scrambled eggs? How about some toast with butter and cinnamon sugar? Do you want milk? No? But you like all those things. What's with the sourpuss? What would you like then? Look at me sweetheart. The girl is waiting. How about French toast. They have the syrup you like. You could even have a hamburger sweetie. Sweetie? Come on now. Answer me. Would you like butter on your pancakes or she can serve it on the side. Honey?" Wait 'til this brat grows up to be the office supervisor.



    Having terrible flashbacks to my time as a waitress.

    Me too. Remembering the awfulness of not being able to roll my eyes, walk away, or even scream at them. To this day, if I dine with anyone who inadvertently tortures a waiter or waitress, I will never eat in a restaurant with them again.

    No better insight into the minds of others, simply watching how they treat those who serve them.

    And a fine dating tip for screening purposes!

    I'm showing this at our team meeting this week:

    https://www.ted.com/talks/adam_grant_are_you_a_giver_or_a_taker

    Something I've been doing for some time now whenever I meet someone new - putting them in a situation where I can see their behavior around waitstaff or other service personnel. Far more valuable than any interview.
  • tmoneyag99
    tmoneyag99 Posts: 480 Member
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    If you want to be fat, then be fat. I will never accept fat on myself and think im healthy though

    This is absolutely reasonable. Hopefully, if you in counter obese people you do not place your rules on them. You are likely healthy. But it's also likely that your priorities are different from someone else's. That's okay.
  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
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    CSARdiver wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »

    Or a weak, whiney parent presenting some chronically indulged little kid with a million options at the IHOP while the waitress has to stand there. "Do you want pancakes Honey? Or how about two scrambled eggs? How about some toast with butter and cinnamon sugar? Do you want milk? No? But you like all those things. What's with the sourpuss? What would you like then? Look at me sweetheart. The girl is waiting. How about French toast. They have the syrup you like. You could even have a hamburger sweetie. Sweetie? Come on now. Answer me. Would you like butter on your pancakes or she can serve it on the side. Honey?" Wait 'til this brat grows up to be the office supervisor.



    Having terrible flashbacks to my time as a waitress.

    Me too. Remembering the awfulness of not being able to roll my eyes, walk away, or even scream at them. To this day, if I dine with anyone who inadvertently tortures a waiter or waitress, I will never eat in a restaurant with them again.

    No better insight into the minds of others, simply watching how they treat those who serve them.

    Not necessarily. I can seem very crass if you read me wrong, but I am just not there for pleasantries, and I know the waiter/waitress isn't either, even if they get paid to seem like they are. I am efficienct with order delivery, to the point with any answer to a question, and so long as my coffee cup never empties, they've already earned at minimum, a $20 tip. Yeah, I've given 1200% tips before for that reason alone.

    Still doesn't stop people from telling me that I'm an a-hole for not smiling or being personable.
  • Tacklewasher
    Tacklewasher Posts: 7,122 Member
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    CSARdiver wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »

    Or a weak, whiney parent presenting some chronically indulged little kid with a million options at the IHOP while the waitress has to stand there. "Do you want pancakes Honey? Or how about two scrambled eggs? How about some toast with butter and cinnamon sugar? Do you want milk? No? But you like all those things. What's with the sourpuss? What would you like then? Look at me sweetheart. The girl is waiting. How about French toast. They have the syrup you like. You could even have a hamburger sweetie. Sweetie? Come on now. Answer me. Would you like butter on your pancakes or she can serve it on the side. Honey?" Wait 'til this brat grows up to be the office supervisor.



    Having terrible flashbacks to my time as a waitress.

    Me too. Remembering the awfulness of not being able to roll my eyes, walk away, or even scream at them. To this day, if I dine with anyone who inadvertently tortures a waiter or waitress, I will never eat in a restaurant with them again.

    No better insight into the minds of others, simply watching how they treat those who serve them.

    Not necessarily. I can seem very crass if you read me wrong, but I am just not there for pleasantries, and I know the waiter/waitress isn't either, even if they get paid to seem like they are. I am efficienct with order delivery, to the point with any answer to a question, and so long as my coffee cup never empties, they've already earned at minimum, a $20 tip. Yeah, I've given 1200% tips before for that reason alone.

    Still doesn't stop people from telling me that I'm an a-hole for not smiling or being personable.

    Do you at least say please and thank you?
  • Packerjohn
    Packerjohn Posts: 4,855 Member
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    newmeadow wrote: »
    CSARdiver wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »

    Or a weak, whiney parent presenting some chronically indulged little kid with a million options at the IHOP while the waitress has to stand there. "Do you want pancakes Honey? Or how about two scrambled eggs? How about some toast with butter and cinnamon sugar? Do you want milk? No? But you like all those things. What's with the sourpuss? What would you like then? Look at me sweetheart. The girl is waiting. How about French toast. They have the syrup you like. You could even have a hamburger sweetie. Sweetie? Come on now. Answer me. Would you like butter on your pancakes or she can serve it on the side. Honey?" Wait 'til this brat grows up to be the office supervisor.



    Having terrible flashbacks to my time as a waitress.

    Me too. Remembering the awfulness of not being able to roll my eyes, walk away, or even scream at them. To this day, if I dine with anyone who inadvertently tortures a waiter or waitress, I will never eat in a restaurant with them again.

    No better insight into the minds of others, simply watching how they treat those who serve them.

    Not necessarily. I can seem very crass if you read me wrong, but I am just not there for pleasantries, and I know the waiter/waitress isn't either, even if they get paid to seem like they are. I am efficienct with order delivery, to the point with any answer to a question, and so long as my coffee cup never empties, they've already earned at minimum, a $20 tip. Yeah, I've given 1200% tips before for that reason alone.

    Still doesn't stop people from telling me that I'm an a-hole for not smiling or being personable.

    What do you do when you're seated with a party of five and after the server recites the salad dressing selection after taking the first order, the other 4 dolts ask for a recitation of the same selections like they never heard it before?

    And after ordering they shove the menu at the server to take even though his or her hands are busy writing on the order tablet.

    And then after they order and the entrees have been thrown on the grill by the cooks, 2 out of the 5 yell out "EXCUSE ME!" and beckon the server back to the table while he or she's busy delivering a huge tray of meals to another table. When the server arrives back to them they say "I'd like to change my order." The server runs back to the kitchen and explains what happened, apologizes and begs for them to refire the order because the dolts changed their minds.

    Meanwhile the sous chef complains to the chef who complains to the restaurant assistant manager that the server is incompetent and is screwing up the line and a bunch of expensive food has to be tossed. Because the server doesn't know what he/or she is doing.

    Then the server is given the cold shoulder by the kitchen for the rest of the night and gets a verbal warning by the restaurant manager in the middle of the rush. "Deal with your customers with more skill or go find another job. We won't be telling you this again. We had to toss a sirloin steak and a broiled haddock. Who's going to pay for that? You?"

    Okay, no more ranting from me.

    @Gallowmere1984 you sound like the customer every server wants to have. You get right to the point, you're paying attention, you don't ask if the server is single or how many kids they have and you tip generously. :heart:

    That party I'd *kitten*. Would not go out with them again.

    I'd leave extra for the wait staff to try and make up for the crap.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
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    Annie_01 wrote: »
    I'm legitimately insulted when I bring up to anyone that I'm losing weight via calorie counting / exercise and overhauling my diet, and they tell me I look great the way I am and don't need to lose any weight. I literally want to punch them in the face.

    I'm 30.1% body fat currently, if I were 25% body fat and saying "uhhgg I NEED to lose weight I can't eat anything so I can lose 15 lbs!" yeah sure, tell me I'm healthy and look good or whatever, but when I'm obese and if I gain any more weight will be at risk for heart disease and diabetes and an early death, uh no, acceptance is NOT what I need from ANYBODY, INCLUDING myself!

    Sometimes when you bring up weight loss to someone you have kind of put them on the spot. They don't know what to say...they don't want to run the risk of being rude.

    An event happened in my life. People wanted to say something...sometimes what they said wasn't very helpful...sometimes it didn't even make sense. I tried to understand that they meant well and just had no idea how to address the subject.

    I think what many people are trying to say when they say things like this is "You're special to me no matter what your weight is." I don't doubt that makes it any less frustrating when it isn't what we want to hear from someone, but it can sometimes be a nice thing to remember.

    Yeah, great way to explain it.

    When people complain about someone saying "you look fine," that just reads to me as complaining that someone is trying to be nice or supportive or polite. Sure, maybe it's not what you want to hear, but just as many people say "oh, man, I'm so fat, I need to lose weight" and then if the other person says "yeah, I hear you, I've been working on that too, here's what I'm doing" show up at MFP bitching about how that person implicitly called them fat or fails to realize that you are really much thinner than they are or who knows what. Often (and especially with weight) you can't win.
  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
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    CSARdiver wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »

    Or a weak, whiney parent presenting some chronically indulged little kid with a million options at the IHOP while the waitress has to stand there. "Do you want pancakes Honey? Or how about two scrambled eggs? How about some toast with butter and cinnamon sugar? Do you want milk? No? But you like all those things. What's with the sourpuss? What would you like then? Look at me sweetheart. The girl is waiting. How about French toast. They have the syrup you like. You could even have a hamburger sweetie. Sweetie? Come on now. Answer me. Would you like butter on your pancakes or she can serve it on the side. Honey?" Wait 'til this brat grows up to be the office supervisor.



    Having terrible flashbacks to my time as a waitress.

    Me too. Remembering the awfulness of not being able to roll my eyes, walk away, or even scream at them. To this day, if I dine with anyone who inadvertently tortures a waiter or waitress, I will never eat in a restaurant with them again.

    No better insight into the minds of others, simply watching how they treat those who serve them.

    Not necessarily. I can seem very crass if you read me wrong, but I am just not there for pleasantries, and I know the waiter/waitress isn't either, even if they get paid to seem like they are. I am efficienct with order delivery, to the point with any answer to a question, and so long as my coffee cup never empties, they've already earned at minimum, a $20 tip. Yeah, I've given 1200% tips before for that reason alone.

    Still doesn't stop people from telling me that I'm an a-hole for not smiling or being personable.

    Do you at least say please and thank you?

    Please? No. I don't say "please" for anything, ever.

    Thanks? Absolutely.
  • Theo166
    Theo166 Posts: 2,564 Member
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    Somehow the focus from society needs to be on having a healthy BMI rather than looking good, being skinny.
  • Verdenal
    Verdenal Posts: 625 Member
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    Everyone is entitled to respect, but too often proponents of the Fat Acceptance movement are deluded fanatics. They want people to believe that extremely high, unhealthy weights are normal and that we should not be concerned, despite the evidence that there is an obesity epidemic. They treat the mere discussion of healthy eating and living as an attack on them. No doctor will tell you that being obese isn't going to take its toll in time.

    The desire to shut down discussion precludes discovery of avenues that might help.
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
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    CSARdiver wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »
    newmeadow wrote: »

    Or a weak, whiney parent presenting some chronically indulged little kid with a million options at the IHOP while the waitress has to stand there. "Do you want pancakes Honey? Or how about two scrambled eggs? How about some toast with butter and cinnamon sugar? Do you want milk? No? But you like all those things. What's with the sourpuss? What would you like then? Look at me sweetheart. The girl is waiting. How about French toast. They have the syrup you like. You could even have a hamburger sweetie. Sweetie? Come on now. Answer me. Would you like butter on your pancakes or she can serve it on the side. Honey?" Wait 'til this brat grows up to be the office supervisor.



    Having terrible flashbacks to my time as a waitress.

    Me too. Remembering the awfulness of not being able to roll my eyes, walk away, or even scream at them. To this day, if I dine with anyone who inadvertently tortures a waiter or waitress, I will never eat in a restaurant with them again.

    No better insight into the minds of others, simply watching how they treat those who serve them.

    Not necessarily. I can seem very crass if you read me wrong, but I am just not there for pleasantries, and I know the waiter/waitress isn't either, even if they get paid to seem like they are. I am efficienct with order delivery, to the point with any answer to a question, and so long as my coffee cup never empties, they've already earned at minimum, a $20 tip. Yeah, I've given 1200% tips before for that reason alone.

    Still doesn't stop people from telling me that I'm an a-hole for not smiling or being personable.

    The key point of this is that people would read you wrong.

    I enjoy the pleasantries when people have time to do so, but I'm deliberately building this skill.

    We are teaching our kids this - to ensure that you are always prepared and not to be the jackwagon that others are waiting on, and to be generous.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    Shana67 wrote: »
    I think that shaming people for the size of their bodies is unbelievably cruel and should not happen, ever. Having said that, it is worrisome to me that it is becoming socially acceptable to be so very overweight. It is super unhealthy and can lead to early death. But, I can only do so much in my little corner of the world, so I encourage my girls to eat right and get decent amounts of exercise, and talk to them openly (and kindly) about the dangers of being obese.

    Yup! As someone who has been skinny AND fat, I can honestly say that being fat I am not healthy. I do all the things I did when I was skinny but I can FEEL how this extra weight is HURTING my body. It amazes me sometimes how much weaker I am at this weight.

    I'm all about not shaming, not being cruel but I'm not okay with acting as if being overweight is healthy, because it's not. Of course I know my experience isn't everyone's but I've known others like myself.. and I've seen how much weaker they are when they're overweight. Everything from their backs, to their knees, to their lungs suffer with the extra weight.