Dating and dieting
SisterSueGetsFit
Posts: 1,211 Member
I need help. How do you balance dating and dieting? I've lost 50 pounds in the last year and feel confident and pretty for the first time in forever. I still have a little ways to go but I'm comfortable with where I'm at. My question is how do I balance dating and dieting? I want to go out and I want to eat all the food and I want to drink all the drinks and I want to meet all the boys. The problem is I can't fit this in my calorie range. I don't want to unload the whole "I used to be fat" thing right away. Yes, I really enjoy the smoke meats and whiskey and I enjoy a carefree evening. The problem is I have three or four of these a week... What in the hell am I supposed to do?
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Why would you treat it any differently than you do normally?5
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Sorry, for me dating is about the drinks and food as well. Not ALWAYS...but a first date? I'm free Friday night and Saturday night and I want a glass of wine.
I eat low during the week to account for a couple drinks and a nice dinner on the weekend. I'm going out with a guy tomorrow who really wants nice pizza. I banked for it.
It was hard at first because I was dating with no LUCK. So I'd drink, then come home alone and want to snack. Now I'm having better "luck"...so no snacking when I get home
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Eat like a healthy person? Not all girls eat and drink all the things with the boys. It's possible to go for a meal without eating too much, my go to is usually a steak and green salad and a glass of wine. I don't feel I'm missing out. Part of controlling your weight is to accept that it's not a diet, it's the way you eat now.10
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I guess I should be more specific and less facetious. Typical dating involves food that is not in my normal catalog and drinks than I would not typically have. I understand it's easy to say "just don't do it" and I understand and respect that to a degree. However, I'm trying to fit in real life with my real life struggle to lose the last 20 pounds. My problem comes in is with the gray line. I can do this once a week, and that's OK. Problem is I have three or four dates a week and it's becoming excessive and impossible to lose the weight that I want.2
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Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »go on dates that dont need to be around those things?
Mini golf, bowling, go out to a park, have a picnic, maybe i just have a different type of interest in guys but Ive never been on a date to a bar or a place where i was able to consume ALL the food, usually the restaurants id go to you order one meal and thats it.
I'm not actually eating "ALL" the food, I was just trying to be funny.
Thank you for your comment though. I will have to consider pulling in more of your options.
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yeah i know the struggle im going through it right now XD Friday nights out feeling like a sexy babe on the arm of an exciting new guy is fun. And The drinks flowing definatly put me off weight loss for the past month.
I managed to keep from gaining by walking more that week and saving calories. Definatly easy to blow the week if you have multiple dates though. Im lucky i found a guy who likes to do things like shoot guns and surf tattoo shops as dates. But man does he drink....And ill never be able to turn that down when only time i see him is once a week
. The fun is worth it to me. Decide if it is for you. Iv committed to walking even more which is going to eat up like all my spare time but itl kickstart my loss again, And im taking the week off drinking hoping for the whoosh XD
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rchlthompson wrote: »I guess I should be more specific and less facetious. Typical dating involves food that is not in my normal catalog and drinks than I would not typically have. I understand it's easy to say "just don't do it" and I understand and respect that to a degree. However, I'm trying to fit in real life with my real life struggle to lose the last 20 pounds. My problem comes in is with the gray line. I can do this once a week, and that's OK. Problem is I have three or four dates a week and it's becoming excessive and impossible to lose the weight that I want.
Not to pry...Same person, a couple different guys? If it's the same person, he should probably get that you don't want to eat burritos (or whatever) 3x per week. You'll have to make some lighter options when you go out once in awhile, and keep the days you drink down to 1 or 2. It takes a little juggling, I know. I struggled all through Fall with it.2 -
Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »is there a reason you HAVE to go on so many dates every week?
Well, there wouldn't be if I could meet a guy that I wanted to go out with a second time!
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Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »is there a reason you HAVE to go on so many dates every week?
because she feels sexy and wants to. I did it because i hadnt felt confident before but now i do. Worked my *kitten* off for my body i wanna go out looking hot ;D18 -
In my opinion, you do what people in maintenance do every day: eat a moderate amount of food that fits into your daily calorie goal. You're going to have to adopt that strategy one you hit your GW, and it's a strategy that you'll need to live by for the rest of your life if you plan on maintaining a healthy weight. So you might as well start practicing it now.
Some practical approaches that might help: Limit yourself to 1-2 drinks/night. Stick to hard alcohol, which is generally lower in calories than beer and wine. Eat small plates/appetizers, especially on first dates. If you have a big second or third date at a restaurant, bank your calories during the week so you can enjoy a larger meal. And finally, you don't necessarily have to be afraid to mention your weight loss. All guys are obviously different, but I find it to be a huge turn on if the woman I'm on a date with "used to be fat", because it tells me that she had a goal and she had the determination and know how to make that goal a reality. I wouldn't necessarily volunteer that info if you're not comfortable talking about it, but if you're asked why you're only eating an appetizer on a first date or whatever, you shouldn't be afraid to tell your story, IMO.5 -
I'm in a similar situation. I bank calories on the days we aren't going out and limit how much I eat when we do go out. I still enjoy myself, but I don't stuff myself. A couple pieces of pizza, grilled shrimp with half a baked sweet potato and salad (butter and dressing on the side), or something else that won't throw me over my calories. I use a weekly average to watch my goal rather than a daily and it's working out perfectly.1
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rchlthompson wrote: »I guess I should be more specific and less facetious. Typical dating involves food that is not in my normal catalog and drinks than I would not typically have. I understand it's easy to say "just don't do it" and I understand and respect that to a degree. However, I'm trying to fit in real life with my real life struggle to lose the last 20 pounds. My problem comes in is with the gray line. I can do this once a week, and that's OK. Problem is I have three or four dates a week and it's becoming excessive and impossible to lose the weight that I want.
Not to pry...Same person, a couple different guys? If it's the same person, he should probably get that you don't want to eat burritos (or whatever) 3x per week. You'll have to make some lighter options when you go out once in awhile, and keep the days you drink down to 1 or 2. It takes a little juggling, I know. I struggled all through Fall with it.
No, not the same person typically. I had my first "second" date tonight. It's actually pretty great. But I'm navigating my way through the dating system after finally becoming comfortable with myself. I don't want to be the girl who order salad and water because I like whiskey and tacos. It's a really difficult balance.
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CafeRacer808 wrote: »In my opinion, you do what people in maintenance do every day: eat a moderate amount of food that fits into your daily calorie goal. You're going to have to adopt that strategy one you hit your GW, and it's a strategy that you'll need to live by for the rest of your life if you plan on maintaining a healthy weight. So you might as well start practicing it now.
Some practical approaches that might help: Limit yourself to 1-2 drinks/night. Stick to hard alcohol, which is generally lower in calories than beer and wine. Eat small plates/appetizers, especially on first dates. If you have a big second or third date at a restaurant, bank your calories during the week so you can enjoy a larger meal. And finally, you don't necessarily have to be afraid to mention your weight loss. All guys are obviously different, but I find it to be a huge turn on if the woman I'm on a date with "used to be fat", because it tells me that she had a goal and she had the determination and know how to make that goal a reality. I wouldn't necessarily volunteer that info if you're not comfortable talking about it, but if you're asked why you're only eating an appetizer on a first date or whatever, you shouldn't be afraid to tell your story, IMO.
So this person said everything I do, just better than me. Down to drinking hard liquor (and for me, wine).
I don't really mention my weightloss much but I'm dating men who are into fitness so I'm comfortable talking about it/my goals. The guy I'm dating now knows I'm cutting. He would totally get it if I said "no, I can't have that tonight".6 -
rchlthompson wrote: »rchlthompson wrote: »I guess I should be more specific and less facetious. Typical dating involves food that is not in my normal catalog and drinks than I would not typically have. I understand it's easy to say "just don't do it" and I understand and respect that to a degree. However, I'm trying to fit in real life with my real life struggle to lose the last 20 pounds. My problem comes in is with the gray line. I can do this once a week, and that's OK. Problem is I have three or four dates a week and it's becoming excessive and impossible to lose the weight that I want.
Not to pry...Same person, a couple different guys? If it's the same person, he should probably get that you don't want to eat burritos (or whatever) 3x per week. You'll have to make some lighter options when you go out once in awhile, and keep the days you drink down to 1 or 2. It takes a little juggling, I know. I struggled all through Fall with it.
No, not the same person typically. I had my first "second" date tonight. It's actually pretty great. But I'm navigating my way through the dating system after finally becoming comfortable with myself. I don't want to be the girl who order salad and water because I like whiskey and tacos. It's a really difficult balance.
It is, but it's not about "the girl who....". It comes down to choices. You had tacos and beer on a date yesterday? Get the salad today. Nobody gives a crap.7 -
JaydedMiss wrote: »Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »is there a reason you HAVE to go on so many dates every week?
because she feels sexy and wants to. I did it because i hadnt felt confident before but now i do. Worked my *kitten* off for my body i wanna go out looking hot ;D
You kind of nailed it. Searching my way through this dating The world is difficult. I refuse to settle and I want to have fun. Phone is not a salad and water, at least to me. Fun is good food and maybe one too many whiskeys. I know it's good for me and I know what's fun, the hard part is balancing the two. I finally feel pretty and boys want to date me... but I can't go out five days a week and maintain a good calorie deficit. I also don't want to count out somebody who could mean something to me...
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rchlthompson wrote: »Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »is there a reason you HAVE to go on so many dates every week?
Well, there wouldn't be if I could meet a guy that I wanted to go out with a second time!
Took me 5 guys to find one i liked Problem was balancing a few at once sort of really sucked. I was in your exact position. Be careful not to lead any on if your not REALLY into it because eventually youll find a good one and letting the other down was hard XD 3 -
rchlthompson wrote: »I guess I should be more specific and less facetious. Typical dating involves food that is not in my normal catalog and drinks than I would not typically have. I understand it's easy to say "just don't do it" and I understand and respect that to a degree. However, I'm trying to fit in real life with my real life struggle to lose the last 20 pounds. My problem comes in is with the gray line. I can do this once a week, and that's OK. Problem is I have three or four dates a week and it's becoming excessive and impossible to lose the weight that I want.
Learn the portion sizes of these foods and drinks that fit your goals.
Choose different foods and drinks that you are more comfortable with.
Increase your activity level to give you more calories.
Date once a week at a restaurant/bar instead of 3-4 restaurant/bar dates a week. Do other types of dates.0 -
rchlthompson wrote: »JaydedMiss wrote: »Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »is there a reason you HAVE to go on so many dates every week?
because she feels sexy and wants to. I did it because i hadnt felt confident before but now i do. Worked my *kitten* off for my body i wanna go out looking hot ;D
You kind of nailed it. Searching my way through this dating The world is difficult. I refuse to settle and I want to have fun. Phone is not a salad and water, at least to me. Fun is good food and maybe one too many whiskeys. I know it's good for me and I know what's fun, the hard part is balancing the two. I finally feel pretty and boys want to date me... but I can't go out five days a week and maintain a good calorie deficit. I also don't want to count out somebody who could mean something to me...
X amount of dates is fun for awhile. I personally burn out. Have your fun. Take a maintenance break or get into a moderate deficit, bank some calories for drinks and a meal twice per week. You won't lose doing it 5x per week though.3 -
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rchlthompson wrote: »JaydedMiss wrote: »Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »is there a reason you HAVE to go on so many dates every week?
because she feels sexy and wants to. I did it because i hadnt felt confident before but now i do. Worked my *kitten* off for my body i wanna go out looking hot ;D
You kind of nailed it. Searching my way through this dating The world is difficult. I refuse to settle and I want to have fun. Phone is not a salad and water, at least to me. Fun is good food and maybe one too many whiskeys. I know it's good for me and I know what's fun, the hard part is balancing the two. I finally feel pretty and boys want to date me... but I can't go out five days a week and maintain a good calorie deficit. I also don't want to count out somebody who could mean something to me...
X amount of dates is fun for awhile. I personally burn out. Have your fun. Take a maintenance break or get into a moderate deficit, bank some calories for drinks and a meal twice per week. You won't lose doing it 5x per week though.
This. itl pass when you find a good guy you can find fun creative dates. Just have to deal with maintenance for now. Focus on that.0 -
I also tend to not do dinner dates all the time. I'll specifically pick meeting after dinner for drinks. Easier for me to eat my 400 cal dinner, and bank for a few drinks. Especially for first dates...I don't like dinner on first dates. If the guy sucks (he usually does), then I'm stuck there eating dinner with him. And food is more enjoyable with people I like, or by myself.13
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I also tend to not do dinner dates all the time. I'll specifically pick meeting after dinner for drinks. Easier for me to eat my 400 cal dinner, and bank for a few drinks. Especially for first dates...I don't like dinner on first dates. If the guy sucks (he usually does), then I'm stuck there eating dinner with him. And food is more enjoyable with people I like, or by myself.
I like her i agree with this to :P2 -
Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »hmm.. Maybe i just suck with dating, but i dont know how youre meeting these guys in order to set up dates, maybe its online.. but.. maybe talk to them a while first? i couldn't imagine going out with every guy only to find out he's a complete pointless date i dont want to meet a second time.. i mean thats not to say that guys ive spent time talking to ALL worked out either, but there was a few i did date for a few months before i met the guy i am with now.... you gotta weigh your options here, take your time, chat and try and meet higher quality, and easily work the dates better into your routine.. if youre not willing to just eat less, drink less and make it fit so you can keep dating several times a week, then i dont know what to tell you, sorry
How would you know he is a "pointless" guy if you didn't go out with?
Dating takes a bit of work and time.6 -
Reality check. Real life is what you have been living, you're just experiencing a different side of it. Dates or not, you decide whether you want to lose the weight or be happy with where you currently are; of which you don't seem to be happy with that. If you insist on splurging on every date. food wise, then you need to most likely fast or eat a smaller breakfast and lunch to tide you over. Either that or workout more.2
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Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »hmm.. Maybe i just suck with dating, but i dont know how youre meeting these guys in order to set up dates, maybe its online.. but.. maybe talk to them a while first? i couldn't imagine going out with every guy only to find out he's a complete pointless date i dont want to meet a second time.. i mean thats not to say that guys ive spent time talking to ALL worked out either, but there was a few i did date for a few months before i met the guy i am with now.... you gotta weigh your options here, take your time, chat and try and meet higher quality, and easily work the dates better into your routine.. if youre not willing to just eat less, drink less and make it fit so you can keep dating several times a week, then i dont know what to tell you, sorry
People online lie. They all seem like prince charmings (besides the obvious filth on dating sites) The only way to really weigh a guy out is to meet him.
Hate to suggest it because i HATE doing this but maybe coffee dates? I find them weird and awkward myself but they seem to work for many1 -
JaydedMiss wrote: »Look_Its_Kriss wrote: »hmm.. Maybe i just suck with dating, but i dont know how youre meeting these guys in order to set up dates, maybe its online.. but.. maybe talk to them a while first? i couldn't imagine going out with every guy only to find out he's a complete pointless date i dont want to meet a second time.. i mean thats not to say that guys ive spent time talking to ALL worked out either, but there was a few i did date for a few months before i met the guy i am with now.... you gotta weigh your options here, take your time, chat and try and meet higher quality, and easily work the dates better into your routine.. if youre not willing to just eat less, drink less and make it fit so you can keep dating several times a week, then i dont know what to tell you, sorry
People online lie. They all seem like prince charmings (besides the obvious filth on dating sites) The only way to really weigh a guy out is to meet him.
Hate to suggest it because i HATE doing this but maybe coffee dates? I find them weird and awkward myself but they seem to work for many
They are weird for me too lol. I'm like...no. I can't do that. I have had a long *kitten* week and I don't want to be seen in the sunlight right now.3 -
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Now I'm thinking about my pizza date tomorrow. Let's say...two slices of pizza and a glass of rye. I'll bank...1000 calories. I could eat 600 for lunch/breakfast and be in a small deficit, or 800 and have a maintenance day.4
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