Are u the jealous type

Jealous of the Twix. Not the nerds.

I used to be, then I grew up.

Long post with some arguably weird content ahead.

Nah. I don't really know what (relationship type) jealousy feels like. I know I'm in the severe minority on this one, but I don't enjoy monogamy. Where monogamy offers security and stability for a lot of people, it was kind of like a prison for me. I wanted physical and also deeply emotional relationships with more than one person in my life for as long as I can remember. Learning about polyamory and the fact that monogamy isn't the only way to do relationships completely liberated me.

I can separate love and sex completely (and in fact, usually prefer to do so... sex for me is more like a funtime activity, less about the emotional aspect and intimacy) and I know there are some other people like that. My sex drive can also be really low at times. So historically, I've been fine with people I've been with sleeping with other people, as long as they used protection properly and got tested regularly (which they did). My partner/the person I live with has a sex drive that's quite a bit higher than mine and he has some friends with benefits, who are also friends of mine.

This is probably the only place/time I'll mention it on this forum, because people are absolutely awful about this for seemingly no reason, but I actually have two husbands (thanks to a legal technicality). One of them I live with and we've been together since we were in our teens (about 10 years now), and I guess he's my "primary" in polyam terms. The other is quite a bit older than myself (a single dad) and we've been together 4 years. I live apart from him, but it's better that way because he has this whole life that I don't really fit into, what with having a serious intensive job and having a kid, and me being someone with no motherly qualities who never wanted any part in raising a child.

So... Long story short, no, I don't feel jealousy. If I feel left out at all, usually all I have to do is say that and he'll make sure to spend more time with me and we'll entertain each other and do stuff. Polyamory only works if everyone involved is highly communicative at all times, you have to speak up if you feel upset by something, confused or left behind.

I make no judgement about monogamous people and I actually don't think most people should or could do polyamory. I simply believe people should live according to their own principles and do what makes them feel fulfilled and peaceful. I am a strong believer in living for one's own happiness, and there is no one-size-fits-all approach to a happy life. There are as many ways of living a life as there are people in this world. I don't understand why some people get really upset and hostile when I mention I have more than one committed relationship... like they think I'm not playing by society's rules or something. Hey, man, I'm not saying you have to do this or that your relationship is wrong and mine is right, we're just different.

I love my two husbands, but it can be difficult giving two people equal amounts of attention and affection. At one brief point in my life I had three simultaneous partners and that was way too much (not to mention that third was a jealous type who wanted me to ditch the other two, but that's another story for another day).

LiftingRiot wrote: »

itsy_bitsy_spider wrote: »

LiftingRiot wrote: »

Is anyone jealous that I actually did have ice cream. It had Twix and heath mixed into it. Then I had a few bites of my daughters. It had nerds and fruity pebbles in it

*side eye*

Fess up. You don't have a daughter, do you? You threw twix, heath bars, nerds, and fruity pebbles into a half gallon and went to town, didnt you? Didn't you?? And don't lie about the m&ms, we all know they were in there. It's okay... you're time of the month... and we forgive you..

You will never know. All I will say is it was delicious!!!

Mmhmmm... especially the m&ms, I'm sure...

itsy_bitsy_spider wrote: »

FeraFilia wrote: »

I want ice cream again. (Still)

*Munches broccoli*

Here.. wanna share? *hands you a floret* You can call yours cookies & cream and I'll call mine death by chocolate. Womp, womp.

Can I at least have some ranch dressing?

kwph wrote: »

Ummmm guys ....What happened here? Less focus on the topic please ....This isn't about ice cream.....(Damn ice cream sounds so F-ing good right now!) .....I'm out!!!

You're right, let's focus! Ummm *plays with hair*... Soooo.... yeah this weather, whatdya think? Kinda..weathery, right? (You CANT be serious!) And what's up with like birds and stuff? Like always flying in the.. in the sky.. and in the... well, like in the sky (C'mon! Quick save girl, you can do it!) And uhhh... you're ice cream... I bet it's really... hot

Nailed it.

I keep smelling donuts. Now I'm jealous of whoever has donuts.