We broke up because...
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she could not take half of my balls into her mouth0
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He did not like my small mouth0
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He was fixated on cotton candy. It was like cat nip. To much for me0
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Why do I keep thinking about deflategate?0
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ahaha
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Because I couldn't do cats with beenies0
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she wasn't into cats..0
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Because we didn't want the same things in life at the end of the day0
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wow very adult and boring reason
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hits you like a hammer.. lighten up kitty!0
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Because he continually picked on me in the mornings before I had my coffee
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Coz he couldn't keep up0
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She went to fast0
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couldn't pick up enough girls together0
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He wouldn't go fast enough!0
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she would pull my hair very hard1
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He kept using my comb on his beard.0
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she kept changing my shampoo with Nair. Something about her liking bald guys...0
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He didn't like that I wanted to shave my head0
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I kept catching her with her finger in a *kitten*.0
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She didnt like my hairy kitten0
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I told her its me or the horses, she asked me when I could finish packing
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he didn't count fast enough ;(0
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He didn't want to hold hands0
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she kept naming my body parts0
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Said I reminded him of weird Al too much0
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He kept twerking while brushing his teeth.1
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I always caught him staring at my arsse when I brushed my teeth0
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She thought it was weird that I spoke whale0
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