Is the 'fat acceptance' movement a good thing?

TonyB0588 wrote: »

In my location there has been an annual Big and Beautiful contest running for 15 years now, and every year there is contentious debate about how it is promoting fatness. In actual fact, I think it is an ideal opportunity for fat ladies to feel good about themselves rather than hiding from negative elements around them.

How does being a fetish object help someone feel good about themselves in a positive way?

On 'My 600-lb Life' one woman said she would get free travel to resort conventions for that group, she was then in her 20's and said they treated her like a beauty queen. Fast forward a decade and she's struggling to take care of her child, not on a path to see her girl graduate from High School let alone enjoy grand kids. Her mate picked her because of her size and was very unsupportive of her losing weight to improve her health. No solid relationship is built on a fetish.

tomteboda wrote: »

Theo166 wrote: »

TonyB0588 wrote: »

In my location there has been an annual Big and Beautiful contest running for 15 years now, and every year there is contentious debate about how it is promoting fatness. In actual fact, I think it is an ideal opportunity for fat ladies to feel good about themselves rather than hiding from negative elements around them.

How does being a fetish object help someone feel good about themselves in a positive way?

On 'My 600-lb Life' one woman said she would get free travel to resort conventions for that group, she was then in her 20's and said they treated her like a beauty queen. Fast forward a decade and she's struggling to take care of her child, not on a path to see her girl graduate from High School let alone enjoy grand kids. Her mate picked her because of her size and was very unsupportive of her losing weight to improve her health. No solid relationship is built on a fetish.

You could argue all beauty pageants are built in the fetishizement of particular body types.

This is true, but who goes to a beauty pageant, expecting or even trying to pick up a partner from the line-up? I mean, I'm sure such creepers exist, but you get my point.

tomteboda wrote: »

Gallowmere1984 wrote: »

This is true, but who goes to a beauty pageant, expecting or even trying to pick up a partner from the line-up? I mean, I'm sure such creepers exist, but you get my point.

Actually, it's pretty common and generally not considered creepy because the women are considered conventionally beautiful.

I had a friend who refused to date women whose hopes were larger than his.. And he wore a 28" Jean. He was considered particular by most, but again, because tiny women are conventionally attractive, his very restrictive criteria wouldn't have been labeled a fetish, nor would people assume the relationship one - dimensional.

Are tiny women really considered conventionally attractive though ? Just asking because,as someone who until recently has been "tiny "( not medically underweight but skinny looking nevertheless),I've had criticism from men as well as women. My experience has been that men actually prefer heavier women (though I'm aware that's over-generalising )

comptonelizabeth wrote: »

tomteboda wrote: »

Gallowmere1984 wrote: »

This is true, but who goes to a beauty pageant, expecting or even trying to pick up a partner from the line-up? I mean, I'm sure such creepers exist, but you get my point.

Actually, it's pretty common and generally not considered creepy because the women are considered conventionally beautiful.

I had a friend who refused to date women whose hopes were larger than his.. And he wore a 28" Jean. He was considered particular by most, but again, because tiny women are conventionally attractive, his very restrictive criteria wouldn't have been labeled a fetish, nor would people assume the relationship one - dimensional.

Are tiny women really considered conventionally attractive though ? Just asking because,as someone who until recently has been "tiny "( not medically underweight but skinny looking nevertheless),I've had criticism from men as well as women. My experience has been that men actually prefer heavier women (though I'm aware that's over-generalising )

I'd chalk this variance from both ends up to "grass is always greener" syndrome. We tend to remember the negative things far more than the positive.

comptonelizabeth wrote: »

Are tiny women really considered conventionally attractive though ? Just asking because,as someone who until recently has been "tiny "( not medically underweight but skinny looking nevertheless),I've had criticism from men as well as women. My experience has been that men actually prefer heavier women (though I'm aware that's over-generalising )

No one is protected from rude comments from other people, either from contempt, jealousy or just cluelessness. But femininity has a very strong association with smaller stature and smaller frame size in the majority of modern cultures. While being tall or large is associated with strength, intelligence, and capability, being small or petite is associated with being nurturing, gentle, or caring. Any individual may find various things attractive, but in general the physical traits most modern societies assign as "feminine" correlate with the fact that on average most women are smaller than most men. That is not to dismiss any challenges shorter women face due to their stature. Only to point out that it is not considered sexually deviant to desire smaller women.



Height and frame are far from the only things that determine a particular person's physical attractiveness to the opposite gender (facial symmetry, waist-to-hip ratio, overall figure, muscle tone, skin quality, eye clarity, hair, etc). It may be too that when you heard men say they preferred heavier women, what they were really saying was "I like breasts and butts" (that's that waist-to-hip ratio thing there). There have been a large number of studies showing that men say they prefer curvy women, which is not exclusionary by height (both petite and large-framed women can be curvy).

As a side note, its fortunate for all of us that most partner-selection is not limited to those considered physically ideal by a majority of people. And it's pretty remarkable how personality traits can color the perception of physical appearance.

I wrote this on a similar topic and I stand by it:

I am a thin person, but I can see the positive side of the movement. I don't think anyone should spend their life miserable and hating themselves no matter what they look like or what weight they are. So in a way I feel like this movement gives people a support network and self-confidence. However on the flipside of that, in my personal opinion this movement leads to exclusion and enabling mindsets. I've heard it a million times: thin doesn't mean healthy. And that is true to an extent, but if you are closer to a normal weight you're more likely to be all around healthier. And although it's not the intent I don't believe, that statement comes off as very belittling to those of us who are thinner. How other people live their lives really does not affect me, but I do have my own personal opinions about them. Personally I think everyone should be striving to led a healthy, Active life. When you're healthy you are less likely to develop serious health complications, you'll live longer, you will be able to do more things, and studies have proven that mental health will be better. From an outside perspective, this movement enables overweight people to not lose weight and that it's okay to be obese. And to be honest, talking strictly healthwise, it's not OK to be Obese. I'm all about body positivity and not shaming anyone no matter what they look like, but I also think it's important to be realistic. And to me this movement tells people that it's not important to be healthy. I feel like people turn to this movement when they have given up because it enables the mindset that they don't need to be thinner and almost is an easy way out. But again, I've never struggled with weight so in a way I feel like I probably have a skewed perspective. I think a lot of people probably do use this movement as a support network while they are losing weight, but you can't ignore that some people are enabled. I think you can love yourself and want to pursue a healthier lifestyle at the same time. But again this is just my personal opinion from an outside perspective,