Sabotaging sister in law :(

SalmonSister
SalmonSister Posts: 37 Member
edited November 16 in Health and Weight Loss
As soon as my SIL finds out I'm trying to eat healthy and on a diet, the keyword she zooms into is the word 'diet'. She always tries to encourage bad dieting by having many multiple cheat days and how she makes it her priority to also "help" her friends when she finds out they are on a diet by cooking/inviting to fast foods/alcohol parties. I'm pretty sure she wants people to fail. Which is sad. I just don't know what to do that isn't rude, but I have told her many times, that I'm sticking to my own life changing experience. Any advice? Rant over. Sorry!
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Replies

  • jennybearlv
    jennybearlv Posts: 1,519 Member
    JaydedMiss wrote: »
    My aunt is pretty infamous on these forums as a sabotager....a true one. She melts butter into my coffees when i pee....

    Anyway unless shes packing lard into your food when your not looking she cant harm your efforts. just ignore it :P

    Unless you SIL is stooping to this level the phrase "No, thank you" should work just fine. Practice saying it in front of the mirror if you have to.
  • size102b
    size102b Posts: 1,370 Member
    Ignore her

    Don't eat the food

    Your responsible for you

    She needs help
  • MelodyandBarbells
    MelodyandBarbells Posts: 7,724 Member
    size102b wrote: »
    Ignore her

    Don't eat the food

    Your responsible for you

    She needs help

    And a boot up the *kitten*!
  • tiptoethruthetulips
    tiptoethruthetulips Posts: 3,372 Member
    You don't have to be rude or aggressive but you do need to be assertive. By being consistently assertive and not giving in she will likely give up.

    Don't be timid, stand up for yourself.

    At the end of the day though, if rude gets the message across, maybe you need to be rude :)
  • Windrunner666
    Windrunner666 Posts: 91 Member
    edited March 2017
    You can always go and pick suitable resturant, and if she's too much of an annoyance, don't ever see her again. Simple.
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,147 Member
    Ready2Rock206 wrote: »
    Why are you even discussing your diet with her? You know how she is - what you eat shouldn't even be a topic of discussion with her.

    Agree with this - if she is carrying on this way as soon as she finds out you're trying to eat healthier, just don't tell her - simples!
  • TARGET65K
    TARGET65K Posts: 147 Member
    Its called jealously
  • amuslimahh
    amuslimahh Posts: 15 Member
    Avoid her like the plague. Her negative energy is enough to send me binging
  • joemac1988
    joemac1988 Posts: 1,021 Member
    shandalynnr wrote: »
    As soon as my SIL finds out I'm trying to eat healthy and on a diet, the keyword she zooms into is the word 'diet'. She always tries to encourage bad dieting by having many multiple cheat days and how she makes it her priority to also "help" her friends when she finds out they are on a diet by cooking/inviting to fast foods/alcohol parties. I'm pretty sure she wants people to fail. Which is sad. I just don't know what to do that isn't rude, but I have told her many times, that I'm sticking to my own life changing experience. Any advice? Rant over. Sorry!

    I'm going to put this back on you. You don't need a diet, you need a lifestyle change. If you have a healthy lifestyle, an occasional cheat meal or party won't kill you just like having a salad here and there won't make you drop 20lbs! When she realizes you're in this for the long run she'll give up.
  • sbrandt37
    sbrandt37 Posts: 403 Member
    edited March 2017
    shandalynnr wrote: »
    Thanks everyone! It's hard because she admits she like to sabotage healthy eating, but it is up to me to keep my guns strong and stick with my diet!

    The only appropriate response to that is to admit that you don't spend time with people that like to sabotage your goals, and then follow through on it by not spending time with her.
  • ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken
    ThatUserNameIsAllReadyTaken Posts: 1,530 Member
    Sad as it is there are people who do this. Question though, is she in need of a change also? Is she over weight or unhealthy in general? Sometimes people who really need to change their own habits and lose some unhealthy weight feel threatened by people who make an effort and see success. Worse still sometimes people who are in excellent shape do this also because they want to be the only one looking good. People do crazy things when they perceive a threat or challenge that isn't actually there. All that being said I would advise throwing your own party full of healthful options. If you have a lot of family or mutual friends using a fitness tracker host a fitness party and invite her along. Then everyone head out for a speed walk or something like that. Maybe she will feel a sense of wanting to be included and maybe even make some good changes for her self. If you can't beat them tempt them into joining you.
  • lindarpolk
    lindarpolk Posts: 70 Member
    Stick to your plan. You are in control of what goes in you mouth. You have goals to reach. You can and you will. She will eventually see your progress. Maybe she'll want to pick up your habits. Giving in and eating what you want to is will only keep you from reaching the goals you have and satisfy her desire to bring other people down.
  • phildog50
    phildog50 Posts: 32 Member
    Use your will power. Decline the invite, or have a salad. It's a LIFESTYLE change. I used to say I have a sabotaging spouse... but it's MY decision what I put into my mouth... not hers. You can't blame others.
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