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Husband cheated on me here
Replies
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This is cheating no ifs ands or buts
Not really the same as being in actual physical sexual contact with a person outside of the marriage, IMO.
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leanjogreen18 wrote: »It's cheating to one spouse but not the other.
This is why I brought up the whole its good to have that conversation. Preferable before it happens. But then you have the "is viewing porn" cheating? Is "going to a strip club" cheating, is "going to lunch with a coworker of the opposite sex" cheating etc.
People have different opinions and when those two people are in a relationship it can get ugly.
By the way again I think its cheating but can acknowledge that others do not think it's cheating.
^that
To me it's 100% cheating but every relationship has its own rules. The two of you, should you stay together, have to determine what those rules are going to be.1 -
Not really the same as being in actual physical sexual contact with a person outside of the marriage, IMO.
A marriage is more than just physical intimacy. You are sharing your life with someone, and have the right to expect that the only person they are totally sharing themselves with is yourself. The OP's husband was obviously not mentally faithful to his wife since he was sexting with other women. How is that not cheating?5 -
Not really the same as being in actual physical sexual contact with a person outside of the marriage, IMO.
I understand your opinion..
I have had actual conversations about this with my husband and all this online stuff, to him its cheating and for me its def cheating hands down..5 -
quick question...does a thong pic (from male or female) count as nude? gray area for me...
By letter of the law, no, its not a nude.0 -
Your husband flirted via an electronic medium. It's a betrayal of sorts, but hardly cheating.
And what right would you have to tell the other participants - alleged - husband (assuming you could do so)? She is responsible for operating within the parameters of her own relationship. That's hardly your responsibility.
don't worry, she doesn't have your husbands contact info so you're safe.16 -
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I just know that I would lose all trust with anybody who did that to me. So yeah - I do consider it cheating. If it brings about doubt when it comes to fidelity due to such actions then I would definitely leave and move on. Would not hesitate for a second.7
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SomebodyWakeUpHIcks wrote: »
Nope. When I say zero social media other than this I mean absolutely nothing else. I honestly don't have the time to keep up with everyone online. That's why I have a cell phone ha ha. I like this app though since fitness is important to me.
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I just know that I would lose all trust with anybody who did that to me. So yeah - I do consider it cheating. If it brings about doubt when it comes to fidelity due to such actions then I would definitely leave and move on. Would not hesitate for a second.
And hopefully your SO feels the same and you've made it clear how you feel and he/she has made their definition clear too.
That is all I'm saying:).
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nightengale7 wrote: »
The OP's husband was obviously not mentally faithful to his wife since he was sexting with other women. How is that not cheating?
Food for thought, is a partner fantasising about someone else being 'mentally faithful'?
..........
The example here, a married guy went online, flirted with people, sent some racy pics and a video trying to get a boost to his self esteem that he for some reason was missing in his 'real' life.
Felt bad. Confessed to admonish his own guilt.
What happened was certainly thoughtless bad behaviour and perhaps emotional betrayal . Not cheating though.
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competecompetecompete wrote: »@toned_thugs_n_harmony is contantly asking me for nudes. Is THAT considered cheating even though I take the moral highroad? Hahahahha
but i'm not married so i thought it was okay?2 -
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Food for thought, is a partner fantasising about someone else being 'mentally faithful'?
..........
The example here, a married guy went online, flirted with people, sent some racy pics and a video trying to get a boost to his self esteem that he for some reason was missing in his 'real' life.
Felt bad. Confessed to admonish his own guilt.
What happened was certainly thoughtless bad behaviour and perhaps emotional betrayal . Not cheating though.
If you act on the desire to "be" with another person, whether that is through digital media or not, I consider that cheating. Do most people occasionally fantasize about being with someone else? Yeah, probably, but they also don't generally ACT on that fleeting thought. It is the action that makes it cheating, in my book. I can see you don't agree, and I probably won't convince you otherwise, but that's my $.02.1 -
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Food for thought, is a partner fantasising about someone else being 'mentally faithful'?
..........
The example here, a married guy went online, flirted with people, sent some racy pics and a video trying to get a boost to his self esteem that he for some reason was missing in his 'real' life.
Felt bad. Confessed to admonish his own guilt.
What happened was certainly thoughtless bad behaviour and perhaps emotional betrayal . Not cheating though.
We call it Emotional Cheating...
Emotional cheating is a form of cheating that does kill marriages everyday. Online culture is just another avenue for cheating just as going to the bar and picking up a chick is.
This involved some sort of action, it was not just a thought, it went as far as sexting with noodz and videos. Who knows there may have been skyping involved too.8 -
STLBADGIRL wrote: »
Well you are being extremely nice. I would have blasted everyone involved.
I think who she needs to be blasting is her husband...6 -
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Smart guys need love too
Smart guys know dick picks aren't the way.16 -
nightengale7 wrote: »
If you act on the desire to "be" with another person, whether that is through digital media or not, I consider that cheating. Do most people occasionally fantasize about being with someone else? Yeah, probably, but they also don't generally ACT on that fleeting thought. It is the action that makes it cheating, in my book. I can see you don't agree, and I probably won't convince you otherwise, but that's my $.02.
You're right, I don't agree ... I don't condone the behaviours but I certainly wouldn't call it cheating per se.
Thanks for the super helpful information about what marriage is though. I'll be sure to apply that to my own happy 14 yr relationship.
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Carillon_Campanello wrote: »
You have given them other contact information then because from what I have seen on MFP you can't DM/PM/IM pictures. It's either in a forum, group, or posted to a wall. Sooooooo be selective with who you hand your information out to?
Oh, I find them a riot! I photograph models, nudity is no big deal to me. And on IG, people get them a LOT completely unsolicited... oh, and that happens on BodySpace, also...0 -
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You're right, I don't agree ... I don't condone the behaviours but I certainly wouldn't call it cheating per se.
Thanks for the super helpful information about what marriage is though. I'll be sure to apply that to my own happy 14 yr relationship.
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I send D pics, newds and more to my GF.... she told me stop and said they were disgusting........ we can't win!!8
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in for the pics, vids, and rioting! maybe more!0
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Is your name Hillary by some chance?2
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I mean, there are posts I specifically stay out of because the title is pretty much "HEY LET'S HAVE AN AVENUE FOR FLIRTING AND INNUENDO." Not surprising. This site, due to the nature of its purposes, is going to have people who end up seeking validation. Most of the time it's via support and likes for exercise achievements, but any number of issues can pivot that into something inappropriate. It's like I tell teens in my healthy relationship classes, you can and will never completely know another person and that is what makes intimacy utterly terrifying.
OP = I'm sorry your trust has been broken. It's a terrible feeling and I hope you are able to eventually heal these wounds.4
This world does not value marriage anymore.
This discussion has been closed.
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