Husband cheated on me here

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Replies

  • crackpotbaby
    crackpotbaby Posts: 1,297 Member
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    lizery wrote: »
    Your husband flirted via an electronic medium. It's a betrayal of sorts, but hardly cheating.

    This is cheating no ifs ands or buts

    Not really the same as being in actual physical sexual contact with a person outside of the marriage, IMO.


  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    It's cheating to one spouse but not the other.

    This is why I brought up the whole its good to have that conversation. Preferable before it happens. But then you have the "is viewing porn" cheating? Is "going to a strip club" cheating, is "going to lunch with a coworker of the opposite sex" cheating etc.

    People have different opinions and when those two people are in a relationship it can get ugly.

    By the way again I think its cheating but can acknowledge that others do not think it's cheating.

    ^that

    To me it's 100% cheating but every relationship has its own rules. The two of you, should you stay together, have to determine what those rules are going to be.
  • SomebodyWakeUpHIcks
    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks Posts: 3,836 Member
    _John_ wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    lizery wrote: »
    Your husband flirted via an electronic medium. It's a betrayal of sorts, but hardly cheating.

    This is cheating no ifs ands or buts (well the noodz contained butts).

    quick question...does a thong pic (from male or female) count as nude? gray area for me...

    By letter of the law, no, its not a nude.
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  • fittmack
    fittmack Posts: 26 Member
    @laelm wrote: »
    So sorry to hear that :'( This world does not value marriage anymore.

    Sucks.

    BTW, great profile pic. Are you on KIK?


    Nope. When I say zero social media other than this I mean absolutely nothing else. I honestly don't have the time to keep up with everyone online. That's why I have a cell phone ha ha. I like this app though since fitness is important to me.

  • leanjogreen18
    leanjogreen18 Posts: 2,492 Member
    IVMay wrote: »
    I just know that I would lose all trust with anybody who did that to me. So yeah - I do consider it cheating. If it brings about doubt when it comes to fidelity due to such actions then I would definitely leave and move on. Would not hesitate for a second.

    And hopefully your SO feels the same and you've made it clear how you feel and he/she has made their definition clear too.

    That is all I'm saying:).
  • crackpotbaby
    crackpotbaby Posts: 1,297 Member
    lizery wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    lizery wrote: »
    Your husband flirted via an electronic medium. It's a betrayal of sorts, but hardly cheating.

    This is cheating no ifs ands or buts

    Not really the same as being in actual physical sexual contact with a person outside of the marriage, IMO.


    The OP's husband was obviously not mentally faithful to his wife since he was sexting with other women. How is that not cheating?

    Food for thought, is a partner fantasising about someone else being 'mentally faithful'?

    ..........

    The example here, a married guy went online, flirted with people, sent some racy pics and a video trying to get a boost to his self esteem that he for some reason was missing in his 'real' life.

    Felt bad. Confessed to admonish his own guilt.

    What happened was certainly thoughtless bad behaviour and perhaps emotional betrayal . Not cheating though.



  • toned_thugs_n_harmony
    toned_thugs_n_harmony Posts: 1,001 Member
    @toned_thugs_n_harmony is contantly asking me for nudes. Is THAT considered cheating even though I take the moral highroad? Hahahahha

    but i'm not married so i thought it was okay?
  • nightengale7
    nightengale7 Posts: 563 Member
    lizery wrote: »
    lizery wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    lizery wrote: »
    Your husband flirted via an electronic medium. It's a betrayal of sorts, but hardly cheating.

    This is cheating no ifs ands or buts

    Not really the same as being in actual physical sexual contact with a person outside of the marriage, IMO.


    The OP's husband was obviously not mentally faithful to his wife since he was sexting with other women. How is that not cheating?

    Food for thought, is a partner fantasising about someone else being 'mentally faithful'?

    ..........

    The example here, a married guy went online, flirted with people, sent some racy pics and a video trying to get a boost to his self esteem that he for some reason was missing in his 'real' life.

    Felt bad. Confessed to admonish his own guilt.

    What happened was certainly thoughtless bad behaviour and perhaps emotional betrayal . Not cheating though.



    If you act on the desire to "be" with another person, whether that is through digital media or not, I consider that cheating. Do most people occasionally fantasize about being with someone else? Yeah, probably, but they also don't generally ACT on that fleeting thought. It is the action that makes it cheating, in my book. I can see you don't agree, and I probably won't convince you otherwise, but that's my $.02.
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  • crackpotbaby
    crackpotbaby Posts: 1,297 Member
    lizery wrote: »
    lizery wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    lizery wrote: »
    Your husband flirted via an electronic medium. It's a betrayal of sorts, but hardly cheating.

    This is cheating no ifs ands or buts

    Not really the same as being in actual physical sexual contact with a person outside of the marriage, IMO.


    The OP's husband was obviously not mentally faithful to his wife since he was sexting with other women. How is that not cheating?

    Food for thought, is a partner fantasising about someone else being 'mentally faithful'?

    ..........

    The example here, a married guy went online, flirted with people, sent some racy pics and a video trying to get a boost to his self esteem that he for some reason was missing in his 'real' life.

    Felt bad. Confessed to admonish his own guilt.

    What happened was certainly thoughtless bad behaviour and perhaps emotional betrayal . Not cheating though.



    If you act on the desire to "be" with another person, whether that is through digital media or not, I consider that cheating. Do most people occasionally fantasize about being with someone else? Yeah, probably, but they also don't generally ACT on that fleeting thought. It is the action that makes it cheating, in my book. I can see you don't agree, and I probably won't convince you otherwise, but that's my $.02.

    You're right, I don't agree ... I don't condone the behaviours but I certainly wouldn't call it cheating per se.

    Thanks for the super helpful information about what marriage is though. I'll be sure to apply that to my own happy 14 yr relationship.

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  • cmDaffy
    cmDaffy Posts: 6,991 Member
    cmDaffy wrote: »
    So, who's your hubby..

    This happens all the time... Sadly, or not sadly, people feel ignored at home, or bored and start searching. I can't tell you how many dick pics I have gotten from men here... There have been numerous physical affairs, so hopefully, your hubby didn't got that far in all of this...

    I'm trying to think if I've chatted with anyone from Booth, TX...

    You have given them other contact information then because from what I have seen on MFP you can't DM/PM/IM pictures. It's either in a forum, group, or posted to a wall. Sooooooo be selective with who you hand your information out to?

    Oh, I find them a riot! I photograph models, nudity is no big deal to me. And on IG, people get them a LOT completely unsolicited... oh, and that happens on BodySpace, also...
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  • adamgoleafs87
    adamgoleafs87 Posts: 129 Member
    lizery wrote: »
    lizery wrote: »
    lizery wrote: »
    RoxieDawn wrote: »
    lizery wrote: »
    Your husband flirted via an electronic medium. It's a betrayal of sorts, but hardly cheating.

    This is cheating no ifs ands or buts

    Not really the same as being in actual physical sexual contact with a person outside of the marriage, IMO.


    The OP's husband was obviously not mentally faithful to his wife since he was sexting with other women. How is that not cheating?

    Food for thought, is a partner fantasising about someone else being 'mentally faithful'?

    ..........

    The example here, a married guy went online, flirted with people, sent some racy pics and a video trying to get a boost to his self esteem that he for some reason was missing in his 'real' life.

    Felt bad. Confessed to admonish his own guilt.

    What happened was certainly thoughtless bad behaviour and perhaps emotional betrayal . Not cheating though.



    If you act on the desire to "be" with another person, whether that is through digital media or not, I consider that cheating. Do most people occasionally fantasize about being with someone else? Yeah, probably, but they also don't generally ACT on that fleeting thought. It is the action that makes it cheating, in my book. I can see you don't agree, and I probably won't convince you otherwise, but that's my $.02.

    You're right, I don't agree ... I don't condone the behaviours but I certainly wouldn't call it cheating per se.

    Thanks for the super helpful information about what marriage is though. I'll be sure to apply that to my own happy 14 yr relationship.

    albundy_shock.gif
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    in for the pics, vids, and rioting! maybe more!
  • oceancitybum1
    oceancitybum1 Posts: 4 Member
    Is your name Hillary by some chance?
  • fasterpssycat
    fasterpssycat Posts: 30 Member
    I mean, there are posts I specifically stay out of because the title is pretty much "HEY LET'S HAVE AN AVENUE FOR FLIRTING AND INNUENDO." Not surprising. This site, due to the nature of its purposes, is going to have people who end up seeking validation. Most of the time it's via support and likes for exercise achievements, but any number of issues can pivot that into something inappropriate. It's like I tell teens in my healthy relationship classes, you can and will never completely know another person and that is what makes intimacy utterly terrifying.

    OP = I'm sorry your trust has been broken. It's a terrible feeling and I hope you are able to eventually heal these wounds.
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