Question for others who also have issues with moderation
Francl27
Posts: 26,371 Member
I'm still working on it myself but I've noticed that very often, I'll be eating a cookie... and WHILE I'm eating the cookie I'm already thinking about eating more.
How do you get to the mindset of just enjoying what you're eating without thinking about getting more? I mean, the second cookie will not taste different than the one I'm already eating, so why can't I just enjoy that one as if it was the second one?
Does anyone else do that, and have you managed to overcome it? I mean, I lost 80 lbs... gained back 5 in the last 3 years, still want to lose 10, but it would be so much easier if I stopped overeating on bread, chocolate, and cookies..
How do you get to the mindset of just enjoying what you're eating without thinking about getting more? I mean, the second cookie will not taste different than the one I'm already eating, so why can't I just enjoy that one as if it was the second one?
Does anyone else do that, and have you managed to overcome it? I mean, I lost 80 lbs... gained back 5 in the last 3 years, still want to lose 10, but it would be so much easier if I stopped overeating on bread, chocolate, and cookies..
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Mostly, by knowing I'm not going to be eating more. It's just not an option. No 'maybe if'; this is my one and only cookie, and the rest have already gone into the airtight box in the cupboard.7
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For foods that are harder to moderate, I have a rule to stick to one portion size (even if I have room in my calories for more). I've just made having more . . . not an option. If I still want more, I promise myself I will have another serving tomorrow. I'm not sure if a rule like this would be helpful for everyone, but it's been amazingly helpful for me.
The longer I have followed this rule, the less I find myself thinking about having more. It's become habit-strength to just have one serving. There was a time when I thought I'd never be able to just have an ounce of tortilla chips, but now I can do it all the time.23 -
I place certain foods in the prohibited category and rarely eat them. Dinner rolls, french fries, hamburgers and most deep fried foods. Cookies for me fall into the "junk food" zones and I just don't buy them so there isn't much temptation.9
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I'm trying to practice mindfulness in all aspects of my life, and food is one of those. Trying to intentionally enjoy the cookie as it is now, and not worrying about anything else during that time, whether it is the cookie or anything else going on in my life. My mind tends to wander while I'm eating, and I want another food thing because I didn't really enjoy the first one ('cause I was thinking about something else, even if it was just another cookie).23
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I'm still working on it myself but I've noticed that very often, I'll be eating a cookie... and WHILE I'm eating the cookie I'm already thinking about eating more.
How do you get to the mindset of just enjoying what you're eating without thinking about getting more? I mean, the second cookie will not taste different than the one I'm already eating, so why can't I just enjoy that one as if it was the second one?
Does anyone else do that, and have you managed to overcome it? I mean, I lost 80 lbs... gained back 5 in the last 3 years, still want to lose 10, but it would be so much easier if I stopped overeating on bread, chocolate, and cookies..
Find something to distract yourself and hope someone else eats all the rest of the cookies in the meantime. (it can be a somewhat decent strategy for me as long as it's not a follow heavy milonga. I'm not so great at self control).0 -
I also stick with the portion control thing. I pack my lunches each day - weighing out my snacks, and I have all day to look forward to my little treats, and think about when I should have each one. Because they're portioned out, I don't have to worry about having another, then another... We have a convenience store in my building. When I would buy a bag of chips or something, I would easily eat the whole thing (multiple servings) in one afternoon. Instead, I took a walk at lunch one day and went to Costco and got individual serving size pre-packaged snacks to keep at my desk, as well, just in case. I never have more than one of those a day because I would feel ridiculous opening a 100 calorie pack of Pringles, then another, then another...
Also, because of pre-planning my meals and snacks, I am able to enter them into MFP in the morning. Any time I alter that plan, I have to go back in and alter my entries, which is annoying, (or, sometimes humbling) to me. So, trying to avoid that experience helps me mentally, as well.
And, finally, entering the calories of a serving into MFP BEFORE eating is huge. Knowing how many calories are in that tasty treat vs. how long of a walk, or how much time on the elliptical to just break even makes most excess less appealing to me. I'm a lazy bum, and the less active I HAVE to be, the better!
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RelCanonical wrote: »I'm trying to practice mindfulness in all aspects of my life, and food is one of those. Trying to intentionally enjoy the cookie as it is now, and not worrying about anything else during that time, whether it is the cookie or anything else going on in my life. My mind tends to wander while I'm eating, and I want another food thing because I didn't really enjoy the first one ('cause I was thinking about something else, even if it was just another cookie).
This is what I am doing atm as well.
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I focus on the immediate budget and the overall long term goal and don't think of this any differently than finance. Sure that extra cookies is going to taste good, but I don't need it. I savor the cookie I have.3
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pre log your day and then see how many calories you have left and how many cookies, ice cream whatever that you can fit into it..that is what I used to do..3
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*If possible, log immediately after eating. It makes you consider whether that second one is worth it.
* When you figure out the calories, try to put it into context of your workout.
* Don't eat crappy cookies. Or any other mediocre food. I mean, cookies are a reason to live, but crappy cookies just fill up your food budget and it's actually not that satisfying.
* Plan cookie eating when possible. Part of being mindful is making the cookie part of a plan that eliminates guilt. If you bank calories, or otherwise make sure you have them fit into your day, it's much more enjoyable.4 -
I pre-log my meals each day so I can plan my snacks accordingly. I rarely buy cookies and the best way I deal with wanting those unhealthy snacks is it is the first thing I set in the cart when I shop, in the seat part for children so it isn't easy to miss. By the time I am done shopping I am ready to put it back and I never leave with it. Sometimes just having it within reach, in my possession, for a small amount of time is just as satisfying as actually consuming it.4
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Put snacks in separate ziplock or sandwich bags or wrap in clingfilm. for example, I get a big back of popcorn and weigh out portion sizes so I'll stick to it. If I prelog it I can see how many calories it is before eating it. Seeing a calorific value really helps if it's a "bad" food.6
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Put snacks in separate ziplock or sandwich bags or wrap in clingfilm. for example, I get a big back of popcorn and weigh out portion sizes so I'll stick to it. If I prelog it I can see how many calories it is before eating it. Seeing a calorific value really helps. if it's a "bad" food.
corrected.5 -
I don't keep packages of junk food in the house, as a rule. I only buy single serving desserts- usually, I just have a dessert at a restaurant or, if buying from the store, find the individual servings.
Because I have the same problem (am always thinking of the next cookie, slice of cake, etc), I only allow myself one dessert a week. That way, I can have a larger portion and not feel as though I am over indulging too frequently.
Finally, pre-logging in MFP helps control those cravings for high-calorie, low quality food. If I know there isn't room, I can talk myself out of indulging.1 -
I am with you.
I have tried for years to learn moderation in things...and it's not just a cookie, it's a long list of particular food that once I start, that "moremoremoremore" thing kicks in. For whatever reason, genetic/environmental/weakness/obsession/addiction/whatever you want to call it - I cannot moderate.
@Francl27 - I just want you to know I feel you. I don't have an answer. I just don't have it in the house. I live alone, and if it is here, I will eat it until it is gone, no matter how many times I tell myself I won't. I don't get it.
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I'm great at moderation. Until I'm not. A small, moderate amount always led to more eventually. And more and more until I was right back where I started. I'm much happier eating the food - truly delicious food - that doesn't hijack my brain like that.
I know people can't imagine living without their favorite foods but I can't imagine having to deal with the cravings and that impulsive/compulsive need to eat and keep eating that feels almost impossible to control in the moment. It's not normal or healthy to have that sort of reaction to food.6 -
I put the cookies away, and walk into another room to enjoy my cookie. And then i go do something else. This short-circuits mindlessly eating more.6
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I use the technique of reminding myself I can have more tomorrow. This has been surprisingly helpful for me. A lot of my disordered eating habits date from when I was in graduate school and only got money on an irregular basis... so I would be eating ramen noodles and egg sandwiches for weeks because I had run out of money, and then get a check and bam, buy everything I had been craving the whole time and eat it all RIGHT THEN. It has taken a lot of effort to train myself that I can have things I want to eat and not eat them, because they will be there later.
Another thing I have learned to do recently (and this is going to sound horrible, but it is really a good thing) is tell my husband to shut up for a moment. If I'm eating my one piece of chocolate for the day and he is ranting about politics or work problems, that piece of chocolate disappears and I can't even remember tasting it. It's hard to be mindful when someone else is up in your face. So instead of silently resenting him, I have learned to say, "Could you turn it down a notch? I'm trying to enjoy my food."17 -
Mostly, by knowing I'm not going to be eating more. It's just not an option. No 'maybe if'; this is my one and only cookie, and the rest have already gone into the airtight box in the cupboard.
This. I have a planned after dinner dessert. It might be cheese (which I used to overeat) or ice cream or a macaron from this new bakery near me or something else. I measure out my portion, put it away, and enjoy what I am having. If the possibility to have more is open I will want more, but if this is my dessert and no more I am able to focus on it.
Also, and it may not be OP's issue, but it was mine, focusing on and thinking about the thing I am eating while I am eating it, not doing it as a supplement to some other activity (i.e., wanting to eat while watching a video).4 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »Mostly, by knowing I'm not going to be eating more. It's just not an option. No 'maybe if'; this is my one and only cookie, and the rest have already gone into the airtight box in the cupboard.
This. I have a planned after dinner dessert. It might be cheese (which I used to overeat) or ice cream or a macaron from this new bakery near me or something else. I measure out my portion, put it away, and enjoy what I am having. If the possibility to have more is open I will want more, but if this is my dessert and no more I am able to focus on it.
Also, and it may not be OP's issue, but it was mine, focusing on and thinking about the thing I am eating while I am eating it, not doing it as a supplement to some other activity (i.e., wanting to eat while watching a video).
I pretty much stopped eating at the movies/while watching TV when I joined MFP.
It's just the whole 'thinking about eating more instead of appreciating what I have' mentality that really annoys me. I wish I could understand why eating only one serving is so hard sometimes, when the next one is just going to taste the same... and I could just eat the first one more slowly and appreciate it more or something.5 -
Ido this with booze.... if there is no scotch, gin or cognac in the house that is all i want... if i know there is some and i can have it whenever i want it ... i do not crave ititsreneabitch wrote: »I pre-log my meals each day so I can plan my snacks accordingly. I rarely buy cookies and the best way I deal with wanting those unhealthy snacks is it is the first thing I set in the cart when I shop, in the seat part for children so it isn't easy to miss. By the time I am done shopping I am ready to put it back and I never leave with it. Sometimes just having it within reach, in my possession, for a small amount of time is just as satisfying as actually consuming it.
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Put snacks in separate ziplock or sandwich bags or wrap in clingfilm. for example, I get a big back of popcorn and weigh out portion sizes so I'll stick to it. If I prelog it I can see how many calories it is before eating it. Seeing a calorific value really helps. if it's a "bad" food.
corrected.
That's why I put it in quotation marks.............................................6 -
I've always had that problem, that's why before mfp, I didn't lose weight. I ate "healthy" but too much. I still have that temptation. I just ate lunch & want more of the same or a "snack" to have but I have a glass of water or iced tea & tell myself I'll wait 20 min & if I still want something I'll have it but usually after 20min I don't. It's a matter of walking away right away.0
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i have to not eat foods like that when i'm ravenous. if i'm super hungry it's going to taste 30000x better, and will be easier to overeat.1
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Portioning out helps me a LOT. If there is a bag of chips in the house, there is a good chance I will eat the whole bag (or want to and struggle resisting that urge). It's easy to think "just a tiny bit more..." But if I buy pre-portioned "treats" (string cheese, 100-cal bags of chips/cookies/chocolate/trail mix, mini ice cream cones) it's easier to stop at one. Having those around gives me something to look forward to and the ability to tell myself "I can have another tomorrow."
At restaurants I'm trying to get back into the habit of asking the server to have half of my meal boxed up before it's even served. At first I felt awkward asking that but honestly, it usually results in some sort of comment from the server like "that's a good idea, I should remember to do that!" and a little laugh. Or they just don't care. If someone gets weird about it, I think that's a THEM problem. Or if that's uncomfortable for you, splitting your meal in half as soon as it arrives so you see it as two meals. That helps me avoid the "just one more bite" scenario.0 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »Mostly, by knowing I'm not going to be eating more. It's just not an option. No 'maybe if'; this is my one and only cookie, and the rest have already gone into the airtight box in the cupboard.
This. I have a planned after dinner dessert. It might be cheese (which I used to overeat) or ice cream or a macaron from this new bakery near me or something else. I measure out my portion, put it away, and enjoy what I am having. If the possibility to have more is open I will want more, but if this is my dessert and no more I am able to focus on it.
Also, and it may not be OP's issue, but it was mine, focusing on and thinking about the thing I am eating while I am eating it, not doing it as a supplement to some other activity (i.e., wanting to eat while watching a video).
I pretty much stopped eating at the movies/while watching TV when I joined MFP.
It's just the whole 'thinking about eating more instead of appreciating what I have' mentality that really annoys me. I wish I could understand why eating only one serving is so hard sometimes, when the next one is just going to taste the same... and I could just eat the first one more slowly and appreciate it more or something.
Is it possible to just take off the table the idea of having more? That is what really helped me, with all sorts of things, the idea that I'd eat what I put on my plate and no more, not today. I stopped having seconds. Now I sometimes do give myself permission to eat as much as I want, but that's a choice, and not something I do when logging.0 -
For me, this is a complex and ever evolving issue. Right now...
I just don't let myself have the option of "one more" of certain foods. I don't buy cookies, chips, ice cream, candy "for the house" anymore. I'll eat as much as I want when there's an occasion, and home alone is never going to be an occasion.
I have had success with another approach for homemade cheesecake though. It was interesting. I ate 1/6 of it every day for 6 days. That was a big chunk every day, but I could easily have eaten more. But I was also satisfied. I knew I had to eat it somewhat quickly, but I also knew I would have cake for six days if I spread it out. I really wanted to eat cake for six days, so I made that happen. I felt strange, like a different person. It was great.
The line between "real food" and "junk food" is getting blurry, relieving a lot of stress. I consider how each individual food will make me feel, at that moment, in that amount and in that context, instead of separating foods into good/bad.
For "regular" "extras" (nuts, honey, dried fruit etc), I will eat according to weight trend and fancy. My meal plan creates a very slight deficit, so I have to eat something extra occasionally. That feels great. But I do have some trouble moderating those extras, and occasionally has a tendency to be more and more often, so my weight will go up from time to time. Then it's back to just meals. Right now I'm on a "cut", and I'm fine with that too.
Not fearing food or irrationally thinking one bite will make me gain ten pounds, has helped tremendously. I've also become more picky (in a good way) - not primarily because of the calories, I want everything I eat to be worth it in every aspect - so I don't eat anything just because it's "healthy", and I won't eat something just because it's there.4 -
I have three categories of food:
1) The amount of the food I want to eat exactly matches or is under the serving size. Most foods are like this. No problems here.
2) I'd like to eat too much of the food, but if I'm eating mindfully, I can stop. Homemade cookies, ice cream, crackers, cheese, lots of other things. These things get weighed, logged, and the rest put away before I take a bite. They might also be pre-portioned, by me or purchased that way.
3) I will eat it all until it's gone, and god help the person who gets between me and the food. I will get out of bed at midnight to eat it. This includes only cheese crackers, store-bought cookies, cheesecake, and pie. I don't keep this stuff around. If it's going to be eaten, it's purchased in a quantity that will get eaten in one sitting.
As an aside, I've discovered that if my daughter adds food coloring when she makes cookies, because she's 13 and thinks blue cookies are funny, my husband and I both completely lose interest in them. I need to think of what other foods this knowledge can be applied to.
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lemurcat12 wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »Mostly, by knowing I'm not going to be eating more. It's just not an option. No 'maybe if'; this is my one and only cookie, and the rest have already gone into the airtight box in the cupboard.
This. I have a planned after dinner dessert. It might be cheese (which I used to overeat) or ice cream or a macaron from this new bakery near me or something else. I measure out my portion, put it away, and enjoy what I am having. If the possibility to have more is open I will want more, but if this is my dessert and no more I am able to focus on it.
Also, and it may not be OP's issue, but it was mine, focusing on and thinking about the thing I am eating while I am eating it, not doing it as a supplement to some other activity (i.e., wanting to eat while watching a video).
I pretty much stopped eating at the movies/while watching TV when I joined MFP.
It's just the whole 'thinking about eating more instead of appreciating what I have' mentality that really annoys me. I wish I could understand why eating only one serving is so hard sometimes, when the next one is just going to taste the same... and I could just eat the first one more slowly and appreciate it more or something.
Is it possible to just take off the table the idea of having more? That is what really helped me, with all sorts of things, the idea that I'd eat what I put on my plate and no more, not today. I stopped having seconds. Now I sometimes do give myself permission to eat as much as I want, but that's a choice, and not something I do when logging.
Yeah it's what I used to do lol. But it's harder now for some reason!0 -
lemurcat12 wrote: »lemurcat12 wrote: »Mostly, by knowing I'm not going to be eating more. It's just not an option. No 'maybe if'; this is my one and only cookie, and the rest have already gone into the airtight box in the cupboard.
This. I have a planned after dinner dessert. It might be cheese (which I used to overeat) or ice cream or a macaron from this new bakery near me or something else. I measure out my portion, put it away, and enjoy what I am having. If the possibility to have more is open I will want more, but if this is my dessert and no more I am able to focus on it.
Also, and it may not be OP's issue, but it was mine, focusing on and thinking about the thing I am eating while I am eating it, not doing it as a supplement to some other activity (i.e., wanting to eat while watching a video).
I pretty much stopped eating at the movies/while watching TV when I joined MFP.
It's just the whole 'thinking about eating more instead of appreciating what I have' mentality that really annoys me. I wish I could understand why eating only one serving is so hard sometimes, when the next one is just going to taste the same... and I could just eat the first one more slowly and appreciate it more or something.
Is it possible to just take off the table the idea of having more? That is what really helped me, with all sorts of things, the idea that I'd eat what I put on my plate and no more, not today. I stopped having seconds. Now I sometimes do give myself permission to eat as much as I want, but that's a choice, and not something I do when logging.
Yeah it's what I used to do lol. But it's harder now for some reason!
I go through periods where it's harder than others, definitely.0
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