Is my marriage depressing me or is my depression ruining my marriage?

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2

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  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
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    I get that probably few if any of us are qualified to give mental health and relationship advice, but I don't see any harm in asking a bunch of random people their opinions. If you asked a friend or coworker it would be the same, except a bunch of strangers may be more unbiased because we don't know her.
  • work_on_it
    work_on_it Posts: 251 Member
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    Ironandwine69 wrote: »

    Therapists make you gay:-)

    I can't stop laughing....
  • djeffreys10
    djeffreys10 Posts: 2,312 Member
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    Don't know what to tell you. Just the thought of ever being married again is enough to make me depressed.
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
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    If you are truly depressed you should seek help for that.

    After that is addressed, if you still feel the same way you should consider the idea that you deserve to be happy and that a relationship with one sided love may not be fair to you (ask yourself how you feel about that) and your husband (ask him what he thinks).

    Your question suggests that it is not ok to you. So...marriage counseling, divorce or be unhappy.

    It is ok to change your mind, or not be in love with someone anymore, people, relationships and situations can change.
  • SomebodyWakeUpHIcks
    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks Posts: 3,836 Member
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    I went a therapist at lunch.

    Let me just say that @djeffreys10 is looking really good right now.
  • BeccaLoves2lift
    BeccaLoves2lift Posts: 375 Member
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    bigmuneymfp wrote: »
    Lower your expectations

    The key to happiness...
  • gothchiq
    gothchiq Posts: 4,598 Member
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    See therapist and regular doctor, if your doctor is willing to talk about medications. I get my head meds through my family doctor and then there is the therapist who isn't licensed to prescribe RX.
  • Carillon_Campanello
    Carillon_Campanello Posts: 726 Member
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    See a therapist and psychiatrist.
    One to talk about your problems.
    One to get drugs to help you with depression (it's not a perfect science and takes time).

    After years of therapy and mixing and matching multiple dosages and combinations of anti-anxiety and anti-depression meds I finally came to the conclusion that my marriage was the source of my depression.

    I ended it.

    I'm happier now.

    Is that right for everyone? For you? For YOUR family?

    It's not for anyone here to say really. That's a question only you yourself can answer. And unfortunately most of that answer will only come in hindsight if it was or wasn't the correct decision.

    (p.s. my therapist didn't turn me gay. But my marriage taught me a whole lot about why marriage is a bad idea.)
  • bigmuneymfp
    bigmuneymfp Posts: 2,235 Member
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    MrsBeccaM5 wrote: »
    bigmuneymfp wrote: »
    Lower your expectations

    The key to happiness...

    Hey you're pretty awesome wife from what I've seen lol
  • relynne
    relynne Posts: 387 Member
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    Carillon_Campanello wrote: »
    See a therapist and psychiatrist.
    One to talk about your problems.
    One to get drugs to help you with depression (it's not a perfect science and takes time).

    After years of therapy and mixing and matching multiple dosages and combinations of anti-anxiety and anti-depression meds I finally came to the conclusion that my marriage was the source of my depression.

    I ended it.

    I'm happier now.

    Is that right for everyone? For you? For YOUR family?

    It's not for anyone here to say really. That's a question only you yourself can answer. And unfortunately most of that answer will only come in hindsight if it was or wasn't the correct decision.

    (p.s. my therapist didn't turn me gay. But my marriage taught me a whole lot about why marriage is a bad idea.)

    This is exactly my story too. Depression is a tricky thing and it will infiltrate every area of your life and a good therapist will be able to help you figure out the answer to your question.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
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    I thought Marriage & Depression go together like Peanut Butter & Jelly.

    I would be concerned if you weren't depressed...
  • SomebodyWakeUpHIcks
    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks Posts: 3,836 Member
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    @Motorsheen wrote: »
    I thought Marriage & Depression go together like Peanut Butter & Jelly.

    I would be concerned if you weren't depressed...

    Depends on the peanut butter.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
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    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks wrote: »
    @Motorsheen wrote: »
    I thought Marriage & Depression go together like Peanut Butter & Jelly.

    I would be concerned if you weren't depressed...

    Depends on the peanut butter.

    well, if we're talking about marriage, it sure ain't smooth & creamy.
  • Carillon_Campanello
    Carillon_Campanello Posts: 726 Member
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    Motorsheen wrote: »
    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks wrote: »
    @Motorsheen wrote: »
    I thought Marriage & Depression go together like Peanut Butter & Jelly.

    I would be concerned if you weren't depressed...

    Depends on the peanut butter.

    well, if we're talking about marriage, it sure ain't smooth & creamy.

    And after awhile it turns rancid and smells really really foul.
  • Poisonedpawn78
    Poisonedpawn78 Posts: 1,145 Member
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    Happily married just means they haven't been together long enough.
  • cee134
    cee134 Posts: 33,711 Member
    edited June 2017
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    You all realize that the OP will never come back to this thread and probably never read it?
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
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    cee134 wrote: »
    You all realize that the OP will never come back to this thread and probably never read it?

    she's married; she has probably walked into traffic by now or is laying in the roadway waiting for a large bus
  • BeccaLoves2lift
    BeccaLoves2lift Posts: 375 Member
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    bigmuneymfp wrote: »
    MrsBeccaM5 wrote: »
    bigmuneymfp wrote: »
    Lower your expectations

    The key to happiness...

    Hey you're pretty awesome wife from what I've seen lol

    Thank you!
  • tmanfromtexas
    tmanfromtexas Posts: 928 Member
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    work_on_it wrote: »
    Ironandwine69 wrote: »

    Therapists make you gay:-)

    I can't stop laughing....

    Yeah and some uptight *kitten* hole flagged it. What a pity...
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
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    tmanfromtexas wrote: »
    work_on_it wrote: »
    Ironandwine69 wrote: »

    Therapists make you gay:-)

    I can't stop laughing....

    Yeah and some uptight *kitten* hole flagged it. What a pity...

    some folks take themselves waaay too seriously

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