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Fat Acceptance Movement
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Fat people know they're fat, they don't need to be told about it. I'm sure a lot of us feel bad about our excess weight as it is without the name calling from others. If people are happy as they are it's not for us to judge. I've never seen anything that glorifies obesity. I'm sick of ads that show stick thin models all the time and every magazine you'd pick up nearly all have "lose 10 lbs in 4 weeks!" or "get that summer body ready!" "10 top exercises for a leaner you!" . I'm not saying unhealthy living should be a tolerable thing but it's up to each individual to take ownership of their health and weight. It's not for any of us to point it out. Unless its a close family member and you're worried about their health. Over weight people are not happy being overweight, really , if they are genuinely being true to themselves deep down. The only thing we should all be doing is helping and supporting people when needed, when they are struggling with their weight/food issues. The struggle is real and ongoing. Sometimes there are other things affecting the person causing them to use excess amounts of food to fill the void or need of some other issue in their lives.2
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MJ2victory wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »At what point did this all get so misconstrued? Nobody ever said go get fat it's awesome, nobody ever said skinny sucks. It's about accepting who you are right now and understanding you deserve self love, no matter your size. Without self love and worth, how will you even care enough to lose weight or work out ? And there are a few people,who truly can't lose weight or have medical conditions that make weight loss extremely hard to impossible... they too have a right to self love and be accepted for who they are. Bottom line, don t judge unless your God.
You are exactly right in your post (+1 like from me!) However, the fat acceptance movement DOES give out a message of "Get fat, it's awesome" and "skinny sucks." You only need to look at the work of Tess Holliday, Virgie Tovar, Ragen Chastain, Kath Read, Kelly Jean Drinkwater and other such activists to see this.
do you have proof? I've never seen anything like that.
Google those names and the rest will follow....
did you? Because, even though I've already read a fair amount of these things, I went out and googled just for the sake of this conversation and didn't find a single thing saying "skinny sucks" or "fat is awesome, get fat" as originally suggested. But I also maintain that a few wackos taking it too far can't be emblematic of an entire group of ppl who just wanna live their lives.
The Fat Acceptance Movement is not the people who want to live their lives, though.
It's the radicalized ones who are out there, going to court to defend the neglectful mother who let her morbidly obese daughter soil herself, not attend school and die - at home and naked with feces in her body folds. But hey, all that mattered was that Christine Corrigan was fat, and according to Marilyn Wann, her mother Marlene would have been offered sympathy over her death, not questioned about neglect had her daughter not been fat (http://articles.latimes.com/1997/dec/26/news/mn-2357).
It's the radicalized ones who are out there, telling people who write to them to ignore medical advice even though they could go blind, because hey! HAES, amirite? Ragen Chastain speaks: https://truthaboutragen.wordpress.com/2015/08/06/ragen-chastain-md/
It's the radicalized ones who are out there, on campuses, spreading misinformation about diet and nutrition while supposedly teaching people to be dietitians: https://lindabacon.org (Linda Bacon is out to make a buck and is wrong about everything she says, she outright lies to self-promote and everyone who follows her wants to hear what she says and just gobbles it up. It's disgusting.)
And let's now forget how these people are down on anyone who wants to lose weight.
Weight loss = "manipulate body size"
Weight loss surgery = "stomach amputation"
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MJ2victory wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »Gallowmere1984 wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »CipherZero wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »ahhhh thanks friend.
tbh whatever. Hate fat ppl all you want but why tell them? Sadism?
No one - least of all me - has said to tell fat people a thing. I've said HAES and their ilk are impossible to please if they don't get their over-inflated egos stroked for being "fat and beautiful". Their victim complex is nauseating and utterly unhelpful to their own cause.
I think there are like a dozen ppl in the US who are that ridiculous. The idea of fat acceptance shouldn't be judged by that. And look at any single post of a happy, fat, confident woman and you will see comment after comment about how she's gross, unhealthy, promoting obesity, etc. I'm not talking specifically to anyone in this thread but to be, that's the opposite of fat acceptance. Just let ppl be fat and happy. Most fat people know the risks.
People voice their opinions on people and things that they find distasteful all of the time. Why should the obese get a pass?
People disproportionately voice their distaste for the obese.
I've seen so many pictures of thin women eating a mountain of food and people say it's awesome and she's "wife material" and things like that. No one says it's gross or glorifying unhealthy habits.
Furthermore, I would argue that people should do a lot less voicing their opinions of distaste although that's not what this thread is about. It's not hard to be decent. If you think something's ugly/stupid/whatever how hard is it to keep it to yourself and go live your own glorious life in the sun?
Nope on the thin pets. She'd get labelled bulimic by many people. Actually post a picture of an overly thin person and there would be many many comments on how gross she is but it's acceptable because she's thin.
I have looked at a lot of pics like that and never seen a comment like that tbh.
I posted this progress picture on reddit
And got so many skeevy emails telling me that I was so much "sexier" in my "before" picture and other ones saying it was sad that I'd lost so much of my curviness.
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GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »Gallowmere1984 wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »CipherZero wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »ahhhh thanks friend.
tbh whatever. Hate fat ppl all you want but why tell them? Sadism?
No one - least of all me - has said to tell fat people a thing. I've said HAES and their ilk are impossible to please if they don't get their over-inflated egos stroked for being "fat and beautiful". Their victim complex is nauseating and utterly unhelpful to their own cause.
I think there are like a dozen ppl in the US who are that ridiculous. The idea of fat acceptance shouldn't be judged by that. And look at any single post of a happy, fat, confident woman and you will see comment after comment about how she's gross, unhealthy, promoting obesity, etc. I'm not talking specifically to anyone in this thread but to be, that's the opposite of fat acceptance. Just let ppl be fat and happy. Most fat people know the risks.
People voice their opinions on people and things that they find distasteful all of the time. Why should the obese get a pass?
People disproportionately voice their distaste for the obese.
I've seen so many pictures of thin women eating a mountain of food and people say it's awesome and she's "wife material" and things like that. No one says it's gross or glorifying unhealthy habits.
Furthermore, I would argue that people should do a lot less voicing their opinions of distaste although that's not what this thread is about. It's not hard to be decent. If you think something's ugly/stupid/whatever how hard is it to keep it to yourself and go live your own glorious life in the sun?
Nope on the thin pets. She'd get labelled bulimic by many people. Actually post a picture of an overly thin person and there would be many many comments on how gross she is but it's acceptable because she's thin.
I have looked at a lot of pics like that and never seen a comment like that tbh.
I posted this progress picture on reddit
And got so many skeevy emails telling me that I was so much "sexier" in my "before" picture and other ones saying it was sad that I'd lost so much of my curviness.
Well some people actually may like the bigger curvier ladies! But i think other people are just saying it to go on the negative of what they just saw. There are a bunch of negative Nancys in this world! LOL but if i'm honest your after pic is awesome. I'm well jealous! Fair play to you!2 -
GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »Gallowmere1984 wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »CipherZero wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »ahhhh thanks friend.
tbh whatever. Hate fat ppl all you want but why tell them? Sadism?
No one - least of all me - has said to tell fat people a thing. I've said HAES and their ilk are impossible to please if they don't get their over-inflated egos stroked for being "fat and beautiful". Their victim complex is nauseating and utterly unhelpful to their own cause.
I think there are like a dozen ppl in the US who are that ridiculous. The idea of fat acceptance shouldn't be judged by that. And look at any single post of a happy, fat, confident woman and you will see comment after comment about how she's gross, unhealthy, promoting obesity, etc. I'm not talking specifically to anyone in this thread but to be, that's the opposite of fat acceptance. Just let ppl be fat and happy. Most fat people know the risks.
People voice their opinions on people and things that they find distasteful all of the time. Why should the obese get a pass?
People disproportionately voice their distaste for the obese.
I've seen so many pictures of thin women eating a mountain of food and people say it's awesome and she's "wife material" and things like that. No one says it's gross or glorifying unhealthy habits.
Furthermore, I would argue that people should do a lot less voicing their opinions of distaste although that's not what this thread is about. It's not hard to be decent. If you think something's ugly/stupid/whatever how hard is it to keep it to yourself and go live your own glorious life in the sun?
Nope on the thin pets. She'd get labelled bulimic by many people. Actually post a picture of an overly thin person and there would be many many comments on how gross she is but it's acceptable because she's thin.
I have looked at a lot of pics like that and never seen a comment like that tbh.
I posted this progress picture on reddit
And got so many skeevy emails telling me that I was so much "sexier" in my "before" picture and other ones saying it was sad that I'd lost so much of my curviness.
That's so gross! If you posted this picture, it should serve to reason that you're PROUD of the progress you've made and I hate that people would turn that around and say such things to you, implying that you were somehow better before. The only appropriate response is to say 'great job' or nothing at all. *hrumph*
AWESOME transformation, btw! All of your hard work has really paid off!3 -
GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »Gallowmere1984 wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »CipherZero wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »ahhhh thanks friend.
tbh whatever. Hate fat ppl all you want but why tell them? Sadism?
No one - least of all me - has said to tell fat people a thing. I've said HAES and their ilk are impossible to please if they don't get their over-inflated egos stroked for being "fat and beautiful". Their victim complex is nauseating and utterly unhelpful to their own cause.
I think there are like a dozen ppl in the US who are that ridiculous. The idea of fat acceptance shouldn't be judged by that. And look at any single post of a happy, fat, confident woman and you will see comment after comment about how she's gross, unhealthy, promoting obesity, etc. I'm not talking specifically to anyone in this thread but to be, that's the opposite of fat acceptance. Just let ppl be fat and happy. Most fat people know the risks.
People voice their opinions on people and things that they find distasteful all of the time. Why should the obese get a pass?
People disproportionately voice their distaste for the obese.
I've seen so many pictures of thin women eating a mountain of food and people say it's awesome and she's "wife material" and things like that. No one says it's gross or glorifying unhealthy habits.
Furthermore, I would argue that people should do a lot less voicing their opinions of distaste although that's not what this thread is about. It's not hard to be decent. If you think something's ugly/stupid/whatever how hard is it to keep it to yourself and go live your own glorious life in the sun?
Nope on the thin pets. She'd get labelled bulimic by many people. Actually post a picture of an overly thin person and there would be many many comments on how gross she is but it's acceptable because she's thin.
I have looked at a lot of pics like that and never seen a comment like that tbh.
I posted this progress picture on reddit
And got so many skeevy emails telling me that I was so much "sexier" in my "before" picture and other ones saying it was sad that I'd lost so much of my curviness.
That's so gross! If you posted this picture, it should serve to reason that you're PROUD of the progress you've made and I hate that people would turn that around and say such things to you, implying that you were somehow better before. The only appropriate response is to say 'great job' or nothing at all. *hrumph*
AWESOME transformation, btw! All of your hard work has really paid off!
Thank you. But I want to make a larger point here. The thing is, I am not alone. In the main photos section of reddit, people didn't restrict their comments to private emails on before and after transformations.
On those photos, you didn't just get chubby chasers who liked "curvy" women telling the OP that she looked better before, you got bitter women telling her to eat a cheeseburger because she looked like a stick and that she'd better keep an eye on her boyfriend because he'd come looking for a "real woman" like them.
It was disgusting.5 -
I just want to point out that the slim woman Insta-boasting about how much she can eat. She could be super active. I walked 15 miles today, that gets me a LOT of calories. I need to eat enough to cover that activity, well, a little less because I'm still losing but if I was at maintenance I'd need to eat them all up. That volume of food isn't grossly unhealthy, it's necessary. And so I'm not a bulimic about to purge either.
So there's the judgement of slender people and their habits. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. You can't preach fat acceptance while skinny/slim shaming.2 -
GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »Gallowmere1984 wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »CipherZero wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »ahhhh thanks friend.
tbh whatever. Hate fat ppl all you want but why tell them? Sadism?
No one - least of all me - has said to tell fat people a thing. I've said HAES and their ilk are impossible to please if they don't get their over-inflated egos stroked for being "fat and beautiful". Their victim complex is nauseating and utterly unhelpful to their own cause.
I think there are like a dozen ppl in the US who are that ridiculous. The idea of fat acceptance shouldn't be judged by that. And look at any single post of a happy, fat, confident woman and you will see comment after comment about how she's gross, unhealthy, promoting obesity, etc. I'm not talking specifically to anyone in this thread but to be, that's the opposite of fat acceptance. Just let ppl be fat and happy. Most fat people know the risks.
People voice their opinions on people and things that they find distasteful all of the time. Why should the obese get a pass?
People disproportionately voice their distaste for the obese.
I've seen so many pictures of thin women eating a mountain of food and people say it's awesome and she's "wife material" and things like that. No one says it's gross or glorifying unhealthy habits.
Furthermore, I would argue that people should do a lot less voicing their opinions of distaste although that's not what this thread is about. It's not hard to be decent. If you think something's ugly/stupid/whatever how hard is it to keep it to yourself and go live your own glorious life in the sun?
Nope on the thin pets. She'd get labelled bulimic by many people. Actually post a picture of an overly thin person and there would be many many comments on how gross she is but it's acceptable because she's thin.
I have looked at a lot of pics like that and never seen a comment like that tbh.
I posted this progress picture on reddit
And got so many skeevy emails telling me that I was so much "sexier" in my "before" picture and other ones saying it was sad that I'd lost so much of my curviness.
That's so gross! If you posted this picture, it should serve to reason that you're PROUD of the progress you've made and I hate that people would turn that around and say such things to you, implying that you were somehow better before. The only appropriate response is to say 'great job' or nothing at all. *hrumph*
AWESOME transformation, btw! All of your hard work has really paid off!
Thank you. But I want to make a larger point here. The thing is, I am not alone. In the main photos section of reddit, people didn't restrict their comments to private emails on before and after transformations.
On those photos, you didn't just get chubby chasers who liked "curvy" women telling the OP that she looked better before, you got bitter women telling her to eat a cheeseburger because she looked like a stick and that she'd better keep an eye on her boyfriend because he'd come looking for a "real woman" like them.
It was disgusting.
Sounds like a riot to me. Link?
Oh, they were from a while ago. Every now and then someone would post progress pictures to... I think it was r/photos? Anyway, the post would end up on the sub I was reading because of the comments.0 -
For the record I'm into Jess Baker and Lindy West's brands of fat acceptance if anyone's interested in further reading0
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GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »Gallowmere1984 wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »CipherZero wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »ahhhh thanks friend.
tbh whatever. Hate fat ppl all you want but why tell them? Sadism?
No one - least of all me - has said to tell fat people a thing. I've said HAES and their ilk are impossible to please if they don't get their over-inflated egos stroked for being "fat and beautiful". Their victim complex is nauseating and utterly unhelpful to their own cause.
I think there are like a dozen ppl in the US who are that ridiculous. The idea of fat acceptance shouldn't be judged by that. And look at any single post of a happy, fat, confident woman and you will see comment after comment about how she's gross, unhealthy, promoting obesity, etc. I'm not talking specifically to anyone in this thread but to be, that's the opposite of fat acceptance. Just let ppl be fat and happy. Most fat people know the risks.
People voice their opinions on people and things that they find distasteful all of the time. Why should the obese get a pass?
People disproportionately voice their distaste for the obese.
I've seen so many pictures of thin women eating a mountain of food and people say it's awesome and she's "wife material" and things like that. No one says it's gross or glorifying unhealthy habits.
Furthermore, I would argue that people should do a lot less voicing their opinions of distaste although that's not what this thread is about. It's not hard to be decent. If you think something's ugly/stupid/whatever how hard is it to keep it to yourself and go live your own glorious life in the sun?
Nope on the thin pets. She'd get labelled bulimic by many people. Actually post a picture of an overly thin person and there would be many many comments on how gross she is but it's acceptable because she's thin.
I have looked at a lot of pics like that and never seen a comment like that tbh.
I posted this progress picture on reddit
And got so many skeevy emails telling me that I was so much "sexier" in my "before" picture and other ones saying it was sad that I'd lost so much of my curviness.
Ignore the fat activist trolls, both on reddit AND in this thread. You look AMAZING and can be proud of the CONSISTENT effort and discipline that you have exerted in order to achieve your goals!7 -
@GottaBurnEmAll
You look fantastic, btw.
The shaming also goes for skinny men. I've always been very lean - from my years in the military all the way up to my 40's. I can't even count how many people day to day - even at work - would comment on how skinny I was... and not in a "wow, you look great!" way. The interesting thing is that I was about 185# and 6'1. Granted, a lot of the people who were commenting were very overweight. It's what prompted me to start lifting weights. I'm 225# now and I don't get those comments anymore.
I can't ever recall every hearing anybody tell a fat person at work they were fat to their face.3 -
I personally don't understand what someone's bodyweight has to do with anyone else.
If someone's fat, they're likely to know it. They're likely to know the effects. If they want to stay that way it's up to them.
Imo it's only worth a discussion if it becomes a wider issue which actually affects you in some way.
Basically follow what should be the number one rule of being human: don't be a jerk.3 -
GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »Gallowmere1984 wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »CipherZero wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »ahhhh thanks friend.
tbh whatever. Hate fat ppl all you want but why tell them? Sadism?
No one - least of all me - has said to tell fat people a thing. I've said HAES and their ilk are impossible to please if they don't get their over-inflated egos stroked for being "fat and beautiful". Their victim complex is nauseating and utterly unhelpful to their own cause.
I think there are like a dozen ppl in the US who are that ridiculous. The idea of fat acceptance shouldn't be judged by that. And look at any single post of a happy, fat, confident woman and you will see comment after comment about how she's gross, unhealthy, promoting obesity, etc. I'm not talking specifically to anyone in this thread but to be, that's the opposite of fat acceptance. Just let ppl be fat and happy. Most fat people know the risks.
People voice their opinions on people and things that they find distasteful all of the time. Why should the obese get a pass?
People disproportionately voice their distaste for the obese.
I've seen so many pictures of thin women eating a mountain of food and people say it's awesome and she's "wife material" and things like that. No one says it's gross or glorifying unhealthy habits.
Furthermore, I would argue that people should do a lot less voicing their opinions of distaste although that's not what this thread is about. It's not hard to be decent. If you think something's ugly/stupid/whatever how hard is it to keep it to yourself and go live your own glorious life in the sun?
Nope on the thin pets. She'd get labelled bulimic by many people. Actually post a picture of an overly thin person and there would be many many comments on how gross she is but it's acceptable because she's thin.
I have looked at a lot of pics like that and never seen a comment like that tbh.
I posted this progress picture on reddit
And got so many skeevy emails telling me that I was so much "sexier" in my "before" picture and other ones saying it was sad that I'd lost so much of my curviness.
There's an element to this where predators want to keep their population of prey insecure - hence the skeevy comments.
When I look at before/after pics like this I am inspired by the dramatic impact confidence, discipline, and perseverance has on an individual.
Bravo Zulu!8 -
Squidgeypaws007 wrote: »
Basically follow what should be the number one rule of being human: don't be a jerk.
Right. Personally I think it comes down to having some common decency and / or good manners.
And most people I think are that way.
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I'd always been a bit stocky, 5'10 and between 200 and 220, playing a lot of sports. But when I became less active, and then had an accident that kept me from running for about four months, I started packing on the weight. I felt less and less like exercising, but was still eating and drinking as if I were playing softball, football and basketball. I wound up at 270. It wasn't good; I couldn't run, because of the pounding my feet would take when I did. I became less energetic in a whole number of different respects. I'd started with MyFitnessPal once before but didn't stick with it. This time I'm in it for the haul, not only dieting but exercising, and I've lost 18 pounds in the last 5 weeks. Don't ever start feeling satisfied about being fat; it doesn't look good, and if you're honest with yourself, it doesn't feel good. That said, it's just plain mean to shame fat people. It may be the right thing to say to someone if that's someone close to you--your spouse, your kid, your patient--but even then it can be said kindly.1
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jseams1234 wrote: »@GottaBurnEmAll
You look fantastic, btw.
The shaming also goes for skinny men. I've always been very lean - from my years in the military all the way up to my 40's. I can't even count how many people day to day - even at work - would comment on how skinny I was... and not in a "wow, you look great!" way. The interesting thing is that I was about 185# and 6'1. Granted, a lot of the people who were commenting were very overweight. It's what prompted me to start lifting weights. I'm 225# now and I don't get those comments anymore.
I can't ever recall every hearing anybody tell a fat person at work they were fat to their face.
I'm sorry that's been your experience. It's unacceptable. I think people make those kind of comments honestly because they're jealous and/or socially inept. When I was younger and stupider I've caught myself saying things like that and I regret it. I try to hope people in situations like work are well meaning but eff if i know their intentions. And, yeah, it's not at work people are calling me fat. It's on the internet or yelled out of cars. Or occasionally at bars or comic-cons, things like that where people are just pissed I'm taking up space.3 -
Ken1Lutheran wrote: »I'd always been a bit stocky, 5'10 and between 200 and 220, playing a lot of sports. But when I became less active, and then had an accident that kept me from running for about four months, I started packing on the weight. I felt less and less like exercising, but was still eating and drinking as if I were playing softball, football and basketball. I wound up at 270. It wasn't good; I couldn't run, because of the pounding my feet would take when I did. I became less energetic in a whole number of different respects. I'd started with MyFitnessPal once before but didn't stick with it. This time I'm in it for the haul, not only dieting but exercising, and I've lost 18 pounds in the last 5 weeks. Don't ever start feeling satisfied about being fat; it doesn't look good, and if you're honest with yourself, it doesn't feel good. That said, it's just plain mean to shame fat people. It may be the right thing to say to someone if that's someone close to you--your spouse, your kid, your patient--but even then it can be said kindly.
meh. looking good is objective. and for me, not something I'd ever want to motivate me. I'm fine with my body, which someone will always find ugly (and someone else will find attractive) no matter what I weigh. with ya on feeling good.2 -
MJ2victory wrote: »jseams1234 wrote: »@GottaBurnEmAll
You look fantastic, btw.
The shaming also goes for skinny men. I've always been very lean - from my years in the military all the way up to my 40's. I can't even count how many people day to day - even at work - would comment on how skinny I was... and not in a "wow, you look great!" way. The interesting thing is that I was about 185# and 6'1. Granted, a lot of the people who were commenting were very overweight. It's what prompted me to start lifting weights. I'm 225# now and I don't get those comments anymore.
I can't ever recall every hearing anybody tell a fat person at work they were fat to their face.
I'm sorry that's been your experience. It's *kitten*. I think people make those kind of comments honestly because they're jealous and/or socially inept. When I was younger and stupider I've caught myself saying things like that and I regret it. I try to hope people in situations like work are well meaning but eff if i know their intentions. And, yeah, it's not at work people are calling me fat. It's on the internet or yelled out of cars. Or occasionally at bars or comic-cons, things like that where people are just pissed I'm taking up space.
I admit that I have trouble reading your posts because I see so much of the FA narrative in how you are ascribing motives to people and describing experiences, and instead of coming off as something you genuinely have learned or feel, it just comes off as something you're clinging to in order to avoid facing something else.
What does it even mean to say that people are "pissed you are taking up space"? That is straight out of the Fat Acceptance Movement rhetoric playbook, and it's something you read that sounds good and you think resonates with you because nothing else sounds better.
It's an empty phrase.
Here's something for you - some people are just JERKS. It's not isolated to fat people.
I've been fat, and I've been thin, and I've come to a realization. People come in all types. Overwhelmingly, people don't give a rat's behind about the people around them and what they look like, but some people are just not nice people and get their jollies by giving other people a hard time. If it's not for being too fat, it's for being too thin, or for wearing glasses, or for being dressed a certain way, or for wearing their hair a certain way.
No one wins when you start playing the oppression Olympics and start looking for offenses as part of a class.
Apply Occam's razor. You'll be a lot more well adjusted and happier to go about life.18 -
GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »jseams1234 wrote: »@GottaBurnEmAll
You look fantastic, btw.
The shaming also goes for skinny men. I've always been very lean - from my years in the military all the way up to my 40's. I can't even count how many people day to day - even at work - would comment on how skinny I was... and not in a "wow, you look great!" way. The interesting thing is that I was about 185# and 6'1. Granted, a lot of the people who were commenting were very overweight. It's what prompted me to start lifting weights. I'm 225# now and I don't get those comments anymore.
I can't ever recall every hearing anybody tell a fat person at work they were fat to their face.
I'm sorry that's been your experience. It's *kitten*. I think people make those kind of comments honestly because they're jealous and/or socially inept. When I was younger and stupider I've caught myself saying things like that and I regret it. I try to hope people in situations like work are well meaning but eff if i know their intentions. And, yeah, it's not at work people are calling me fat. It's on the internet or yelled out of cars. Or occasionally at bars or comic-cons, things like that where people are just pissed I'm taking up space.
I admit that I have trouble reading your posts because I see so much of the FA narrative in how you are ascribing motives to people and describing experiences, and instead of coming off as something you genuinely have learned or feel, it just comes off as something you're clinging to in order to avoid facing something else.
What does it even mean to say that people are "pissed you are taking up space"? That is straight out of the Fat Acceptance Movement rhetoric playbook, and it's something you read that sounds good and you think resonates with you because nothing else sounds better.
It's an empty phrase.
Here's something for you - some people are just JERKS. It's not isolated to fat people.
I've been fat, and I've been thin, and I've come to a realization. People come in all types. Overwhelmingly, people don't give a rat's behind about the people around them and what they look like, but some people are just not nice people and get their jollies by giving other people a hard time. If it's not for being too fat, it's for being too thin, or for wearing glasses, or for being dressed a certain way, or for wearing their hair a certain way.
No one wins when you start playing the oppression Olympics and start looking for offenses as part of a class.
Apply Occam's razor. You'll be a lot more well adjusted and happier to go about life.
they're like mad I'm in their way. They want to get around me and call me fat. That's what I'm talking about them being mad I'm taking up space. That's literally what's going on. At places like bars or sdcc everyone's in your way but it's somehow more infuriating when a fat person does it. It was just a more succinct way to say that. I can be in a group of people where everyone's in everyone's way and I'm the one who gets yelled at and name called. That has literally happened to me dozens of times.
but good job trying to gaslight me about it? lol0 -
MJ2victory wrote: »GottaBurnEmAll wrote: »MJ2victory wrote: »jseams1234 wrote: »@GottaBurnEmAll
You look fantastic, btw.
The shaming also goes for skinny men. I've always been very lean - from my years in the military all the way up to my 40's. I can't even count how many people day to day - even at work - would comment on how skinny I was... and not in a "wow, you look great!" way. The interesting thing is that I was about 185# and 6'1. Granted, a lot of the people who were commenting were very overweight. It's what prompted me to start lifting weights. I'm 225# now and I don't get those comments anymore.
I can't ever recall every hearing anybody tell a fat person at work they were fat to their face.
I'm sorry that's been your experience. It's *kitten*. I think people make those kind of comments honestly because they're jealous and/or socially inept. When I was younger and stupider I've caught myself saying things like that and I regret it. I try to hope people in situations like work are well meaning but eff if i know their intentions. And, yeah, it's not at work people are calling me fat. It's on the internet or yelled out of cars. Or occasionally at bars or comic-cons, things like that where people are just pissed I'm taking up space.
I admit that I have trouble reading your posts because I see so much of the FA narrative in how you are ascribing motives to people and describing experiences, and instead of coming off as something you genuinely have learned or feel, it just comes off as something you're clinging to in order to avoid facing something else.
What does it even mean to say that people are "pissed you are taking up space"? That is straight out of the Fat Acceptance Movement rhetoric playbook, and it's something you read that sounds good and you think resonates with you because nothing else sounds better.
It's an empty phrase.
Here's something for you - some people are just JERKS. It's not isolated to fat people.
I've been fat, and I've been thin, and I've come to a realization. People come in all types. Overwhelmingly, people don't give a rat's behind about the people around them and what they look like, but some people are just not nice people and get their jollies by giving other people a hard time. If it's not for being too fat, it's for being too thin, or for wearing glasses, or for being dressed a certain way, or for wearing their hair a certain way.
No one wins when you start playing the oppression Olympics and start looking for offenses as part of a class.
Apply Occam's razor. You'll be a lot more well adjusted and happier to go about life.
they're like mad I'm in their way. They want to get around me and call me fat. That's what I'm talking about them being mad I'm taking up space. That's literally what's going on. At places like bars or sdcc everyone's in your way but it's somehow more infuriating when a fat person does it. It was just a more succinct way to say that. I can be in a group of people where everyone's in everyone's way and I'm the one who gets yelled at and name called. That has literally happened to me dozens of times.
but good job trying to gaslight me about it? lol
No, I'm not trying to gaslight you.
You are ascribing motives to people you can't be sure exist because it suits your narrative.
But let's see, claiming I'm gaslighting you? FA tactic.
Claiming that people get extra mad at you because you're fat? FA tactic
This movement is toxic, and it makes me angry. And I say that as a person who grew up with a fat shaming mother and who has been subjected to fat shaming. I've also been subjected to thin shaming. I've also been subjected to be treated as lesser than because I'm a woman. I'm a great deal older than you, judging by how young you look in your profile picture. I'm old enough to have been one of only two fat children in her 8th grade graduating class. I was fat for most of my life during a time when a lot of people weren't fat and it was socially acceptable for the school nurse to tell me I had middle aged spread when I was in high school.
I'm not denying that fat shaming exists. I'm denying that people have the motives you're ascribing to them when it's not overt and in your face (they're mad you're taking up space or they add extra bonus mad points because you're fat - really, you need to do a reality check and look at how much you're projecting fear of being shamed there). I'll share a story. I used to be afraid to eat in public when I was fat. I lost weight, and walked down the boardwalk, stuffing my face with caramel corn. Some people looked at me, some didn't, the same as when I was fat. None of it mattered. I could ascribe motives to them if I'd like (who's that uncouth old lady stuffing fistfuls of caramel corn in her mouth? Can't she wait until she gets back to her hotel, what is she some kind of kid or something?), or maybe their gaze just passed my way.
Look, I believe you're a sweet young woman under all of this who went through a bad time in her life. I get that. Unfortunately, I think you've grasped onto the wrong way out of that for yourself.
Let go of perpetually feeling like a victim, it's never going to get you anywhere, and is one of the uglier sides of the FA movement.21
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